Questions for the Men

[kamya]

I'm also passionated about not starving to death.

That's actually addressed in the clip too.

 

[Xpendable]

I'm also passionated about not starving to death.

That's actually addressed in the clip too.

Yet Peterson is still afraid of nihilism because it goes against his precious Yahweh when actually the disposal of meaning is the closest thing to real freedom we have. Human beings have no inherent responsibilities beyond reproducing, is not a bad thing to desire something else, but we must stop listening to this re-packaged conservatism.

 

[ardour]

Conservatism isn't really about God and 'meaning' anyway, despite attempts to sugar coat it with communitarian values. It's the philsophical underpinning for private property rights and free markets, prior to that, inherited feudal rights.

There's got to be someone less political than Jordan Peterson with a motivational message?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Most people are more realistic about their goals, have different priorities than just being attractive to the opposite sex, try things that they can actually achieve and like to move forward instead of being stuck in theory.

They don't need to make being attractive to the opposite sex a priority, because for them, it takes care of itself.  I haven't been able to do that, but I'm also not interested in being MGTOW.  It is absolutely a priority of mine to have this experience for myself that others have been taking for granted since they were teenagers, that I've been shut out of, all my life.  I hate this feeling of being locked out.  I really want to triumph over this, so I can know what it's like.

But it's a problem, kind of along these same lines.  If I'm very limited in what I'll ever be able to do and can't ever do anything that great, then I honestly would rather just read books, play video games, watch movies, and drink, myself.  If I can't get much more out of life than that anyway, then it feels like the game is already over.  It just doesn't feel worth it.

I wasn't commenting on the top 20%, I was talking about the majority of people.
Don't say people take things for granted, you don't know their struggle or how they feel about their love life, and again talking about the majority of people not your anecdotal bad boy whatever.

The thing is, you don't know if you're limited. You don't know what you can do, what you like or what would be important to you because you haven't tried absolutely anything. Your perspective would change a lot when your priorities change, and they would change if you started moving... But if you think that not doing anything until you get a girlfriend is better for you, ok. You're missing amazing parts of life that could actually help you attract someone too.
What are you going to do when your parents die? Have you ever thought of that?

P.S.: I find it funny that on everything I mentioned, this was your only focus.

This is something that a lot of us have tried to tell him, over and over, many, many times. And as someone whose parents have both passed away, I have a very short time to get myself stable because the saying "nothing lasts forever" could not be more true, and the bubble has been popped. There's nothing I can say, that I already haven't, to make Ska - or anyone else, for that matter, who keep wanting to put responsibility everything else - understand that we each have to make sure we survive. Parents don't owe us that after a certain time, and if they've passed away, there's really not going to be a cushion.

 

[DarkSelene]

This is something that a lot of us have tried to tell him, over and over, many, many times. And as someone whose parents have both passed away, I have a very short time to get myself stable because the saying "nothing lasts forever" could not be more true, and the bubble has been popped. There's nothing I can say, that I already haven't, to make Ska - or anyone else, for that matter, who keep wanting to put responsibility everything else - understand that we each have to make sure we survive. Parents don't owe us that after a certain time, and if they've passed away, there's really not going to be a cushion.

It's the comfort zone, and apparently there's no pressure to get out of it... The day he'll have to it'll be completely out of the blue and then what? I'll be concerned. He'll be lost.

Sorry about your parents.

 

[kamya]

Conservatism isn't really about God and 'meaning' anyway, despite attempts to sugar coat it with communitarian values. It's the philsophical underpinning for private property rights and  free markets, prior to that, inherited feudal rights.  

There's got to be someone less political than Jordan Peterson with a motivational message?

Oh there definitely are others out there. Ska's post just reminded me of that specific part of that specific podcast.

---

I'm also passionated about not starving to death.

That's actually addressed in the clip too.

Yet Peterson is still afraid of nihilism because it goes against his precious Yahweh when actually the disposal of meaning is the closest thing to real freedom we have. Human beings have no inherent responsibilities beyond reproducing, is not a bad thing to desire something else, but we must stop listening to this re-packaged conservatism.

If you don't desire anything else then it's not for you in the first place. If you do desire something else and are stuck and wondering how to go about getting what you want, then you might gain something from it. 

If you desire something else and are not willing to bother doing all that is in your power to move on the path towards reaching your goals then as Peterson says, "You don't get to whine."

 

[Xpendable]

I do feel pressure to get out and I think there's nothing "comforting" about being there. Until this day I feel distant from people and I hoped that it was a teenage thing, but I'm not able to feel close to anyone I know. I never wanted to be this way and every day I'm listening to people to see if they break the cycle but it hasn't happened. To know that everything is so fragile that a simple cosmic event could erase us all is, in some way, more comforting than a superior entity. Peterson wants to promote order in a chaotic universe and thinks that you can control your life by installing human rules when only a few millimeters of bone structure can define your entire life and how people see you. The way your body develops, your skull and jaw proportions, your height or the harmony in your facial features is like the delicate aerodynamics from a plane wing. Just one flaw and you won't fly right and probably crash before you can do anything. When you know this everything looks like a scam: Love, passion, money, politics. It is all like that binary code vision from the Matrix movies; you can see through everything and how thin it really is. You understand why people do what they do and say what they say, you can see subtitles beneath what they say and catch their lies with ease. So I'm not really surprised that a man way smarter than me has to cling to the idea of meaning to escape all that and why the rest of the world does it. I believe it's still possible to find the basic; to have a conversation that can make you smile. Not because is funny, but because you are happy to be with someone that can make you forget the abyss that surrounds us. Maybe that person is there and maybe not, but you can't say it's easy to enter this discomfort zone as if you could switch on the meaning in your life by just switching off the inherent feeling in everyone's nape when they contemplate how little they really mean in all existence.

 

[kaetic]

Why do you think you're limited? Are you comparing yourself to what others are doing? There's always going to be someone better or worse or different than you. It doesn't mean that your efforts aren't worthwhile.

Do you compare yourself to others in your video games? Does another player being more or less skilled than you ruin the experience? It might eventually if you give up on everything else...

I'm not trying to lecture, I tend to do this myself. It's part of the reason it took me three tries to finish one degree. It's a big part of the reason why it's been two years since I finished that degree and I'm still working in the same factory. I'm just saying that comparing yourself to others can be a self destructive habit...

 

[Xpendable]

Everyone'd efforts are meaningless, that was the point.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Everyone'd efforts are meaningless, that was the point.

Not really, efforts are only meaningless if you make them meaningless.

 

[kaetic]

Everyone'd efforts are meaningless, that was the point.

Sorry that was meant as a reply for one of ska's posts. I just didn't do it right. 

Yeah yeah we're dust in the wind. We could all die at any second. So what? We're all going to die someday anyway. People have been dealing with this for thousands of years and if they all decided to just give up then we wouldn't be here with the option to try. So spare me your "deep philosophy" about how it's all pointless because it's temporary. I don't have the time to waste.

 

[DarkSelene]

I do feel pressure to get out and I think there's nothing "comforting" about being there. Until this day I feel distant from people and I hoped that it was a teenage thing, but I'm not able to feel close to anyone I know. I never wanted to be this way and every day I'm listening to people to see if they break the cycle but it hasn't happened. To know that everything is so fragile that a simple cosmic event could erase us all is, in some way, more comforting than a superior entity. Peterson wants to promote order in a chaotic universe and thinks that you can control your life by installing human rules when only a few millimeters of bone structure can define your entire life and how people see you. The way your body develops, your skull and jaw proportions, your height or the harmony in your facial features is like the delicate aerodynamics from a plane wing. Just one flaw and you won't fly right and probably crash before you can do anything. When you know this everything looks like a scam: Love, passion, money, politics. It is all like that binary code vision from the Matrix movies; you can see through everything and how thin it really is. You understand why people do what they do and say what they say, you can see subtitles beneath what they say and catch their lies with ease. So I'm not really surprised that a man way smarter than me has to cling to the idea of meaning to escape all that and why the rest of the world does it. I believe it's still possible to find the basic; to have a conversation that can make you smile. Not because is funny, but because you are happy to be with someone that can make you forget the abyss that surrounds us. Maybe that person is there and maybe not, but you can't say it's easy to enter this discomfort zone as if you could switch on the meaning in your life by just switching off the inherent feeling in everyone's nape when they contemplate how little they really mean in all existence.

Maybe the meaning is to find something worth experiencing and try to continue experiencing that. Maybe there's no meaning, but we certainly don't have enough time here to waste being miserable...
It's hard, though, of course it is. When you have to be surrounded by people that seem fake, when you can't connect. But I think the idea is to find little meanings, that will make you feel accomplished little by little, until you're pursuing bigger things. I mean, from a neuro point of view that certainly works... It's not about big stuff, it's the small stuff that give you quality of life and, maybe mascarade (maybe not) the nihilistic ideas that come from a life with no accomplishments big or small. With no goals, big or small. With no trying...
I know from your perspective that's bullshit, you did pursue what you love and you do work... But, ok, tell me, how did it feel to finish the 30 days of workout thing? Good, right?

 

[Xpendable]

It was 63 days and it felt ok. Not impressed with my results or with my teeth. That if you think in goals, and it's not like I didn't do the work out properly or that the dentist did a bad job, quite the opposite. But lately I feel every goal is a letdown at the end. I'm not wishing to be miserable and I dont think I was saying life should be miserable. But people have to be honest and not put meanings like absolutes. Me not connecting doesnt mean people are fake. Even when some are, is more tragic to think you are not feeling attracted to people in their honest self. And I believe they see me in the same way, in that im not showing what they want and im not interested in tricking them to like me. I dont feel is my job to entertain people or have a great smile or a great body, because they certainly dont feel that responsibility towards me either. When I see my environment i realize im much better of what i should, but hanst payed off. In fact it has been harmful to my happiness. So im good with small things but it doesnt seem I look like one of those small things to someone else.

 

[Amelia]

Hey guys,

Have you ever been attracted to a woman but was too intimidated by her to pursue her? What were you intimidated by?

 

[Joturbo]

Oh yes when I was twenty.She was just so gorgeous in every way.Pretty ,sweet, intelligent, fun, independent, popular everyone liked her in the office.It killed me at the time just thought wasn't good enough for her ,couldn't provide her with the social life...oh well .Think intimidated because in my eyes she was out of my league...just too perfect.

 

[MisterLonely]

Hey guys,

Have you ever been attracted to a woman but was too intimidated by her to pursue her? What were you intimidated by?

Every woman seems to be to intimidating for me, I've tried several times as off late, but I feel the divide, I don't have enough experience dating, my social life is non existent and i don't go out drinking or go out at all really, I'm not boring, I just don't like doing things on my own.

What I'm intimidated by is not looks, intellect or wealth... it's social status and relationship experience, I have no fiends to introduce her to and no knowledge of how a relationship works. As said before, I don't feel good enough, and the few times I've tried it turns out I wasn't good enough when it comes to those aspects.

 

[Joturbo]

Hey guys,

Have you ever been attracted to a woman but was too intimidated by her to pursue her? What were you intimidated by?

Every woman seems to be to intimidating for me, I've tried several times as off late, but I feel the divide, I don't have enough experience dating, my social life is non existent and i don't go out drinking or go out at all really, I'm not boring, I just don't like doing things on my own.

What I'm intimidated by is not looks, intellect or wealth... it's social status and relationship experience, I have no fiends to introduce her to and no knowledge of how a relationship works. As said before, I don't feel good enough, and the few times I've tried it turns out I wasn't good enough when it comes to those aspects.

Personally in my experience I don't think it matters so much about the lack of friends. I had a couple more short term relationships after 'the perfect one had a boyfriend anyway ' and in both of them we were so much into each other doing stuff together that only the occasional social with others was needed.

In fact my wife when we first met like me just had a few office friends and it really didn't matter because as we hit it off straight away the fact that we were both quite solitary at the time just meant more time for each other.So don't let it hold you back the lack of friends.

 

[kamya]

Hey guys,

Have you ever been attracted to a woman but was too intimidated by her to pursue her? What were you intimidated by?

Hasn't happened so far. I always shoot my shot eventually.

 

[ardour]

Hey guys,

Have you ever been attracted to a woman but was too intimidated by her to pursue her? What were you intimidated by?

It's the fear of being judged once they realize you see them in a romantic way.

Agree with MisterLonely, I'd be hard not to be intimidated by the disparity in experience and social life as well.

 

[Xpendable]

Financial status is a big one; more than anything else.