seem to make a mess of every interaction i have

[holsten1]

I'm beginning to feel like I'm utterly ****** in the head in a way that I'm just unable to see or something. Aside from my social problems in real life, which I assumed until recently were down more to confidence, demeanor etc than my actual personality, I can't even maintain a friendship, let alone a conversation, with someone on the internet. Everyone I speak to is fine up until a certain point, and then they just instantly lose interest and dissapear/block me or whatever.

I'm aware of how this sounds, if someone else were to post the same thing I'd assume it was their own doing, and that they were hassling people, being overly miserable etc. In various instances in the past, when I've been in really bad depressions, I completely understand people not wanting anything to do with me, as I can become extremely weird/difficult. However, recently, I feel like social standards have somehow changed massively in the past few years and I'm just not aware of it..? Certain things I do that to me seem so reasonable, just seem to put people off. Like certain really standard conversational things(i.e, when someone asks you a question, answer it and generally ask them the same about themself.), seem to make certain people think you're a freak or something. Often it's pretty baffling to me what puts other people off a person. People can be incredibly thoughtless and just make sweeping assumptions about people based on nothing.

As far as I'm concerned, I'll happily talk to pretty much anyone online as long as they're not a total ****. I don't expect amazing things from everyone I talk to, it's just nice for people that don't have a social life to be able to talk to eachother online.

Anyways I'm really just posting this to know if this is a common thing, or if I'm right in thinking that I'm somehow doing this myself in a way I'm not aware of. I know that some of the time, it's my fault, yes. But for the most part it doesn't seem that way.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Calling me a 'friendly-firing thug' and insulting the people who die to give you the freedom to say such things might have something to do with pissing me off. I do think that you have anger issues, and misplaced ones at that.

 

[holsten1]

Calling me a 'friendly-firing thug' and insulting the people who die to give you the freedom to say such things might have something to do with pissing me off. I do think that you have anger issues, and misplaced ones at that.

I'm incredibly surprised you thought I was talking about you with this post, I couldn't really have cared less about my minor and fleeting interaction with you. Also nobody died to give me the freedom to say anything, please don't talk such nonsense. Not to mention I didn't call you that, I was talking in general. As far as anger issues? Yes, of course I have anger issues(although I'm not sure what you mean by misplaced, most anger is misplaced), I'm miserable and angry half the time. That doesn't mean I inflict it on other people in every conversation I have with them. It seems like you may have some anger issues yourself if you felt the need to comment in this thread about that. For the most part if I'm talking with someone one to one I'll avoid going into any of that sort of ****. What I said to you was a result of my opinions on the war in general, and in response to some pretty preposterous and offensive **** you said about the war. It wasn't a personal thing, and I even apologised for the way I phrased it later on, and said you seemed like a pretty legit guy despite obvious differences. Either you didn't see this or you chose to ignore it because I don't support the war or something.. If you hadn't have brought up your own invalid opinions about the war, I wouldn't have said anything. I said what I said because you had an air of self righteousness about you and seemed to think the fact that you were in the military commanded respect.

If you had some kind of problem accepting my initial apology, then you're obviously pretty difficult and just want to argue, so please just ignore my threads.

 

[Rolo]

I'm aware of how this sounds, if someone else were to post the same thing I'd assume it was their own doing, and that they were hassling people, being overly miserable etc. In various instances in the past, when I've been in really bad depressions, I completely understand people not wanting anything to do with me, as I can become extremely weird/difficult. However, recently, I feel like social standards have somehow changed massively in the past few years and I'm just not aware of it..? Certain things I do that to me seem so reasonable, just seem to put people off. Like certain really standard conversational things(i.e, when someone asks you a question, answer it and generally ask them the same about themself.), seem to make certain people think you're a freak or something. Often it's pretty baffling to me what puts other people off a person. People can be incredibly thoughtless and just make sweeping assumptions about people based on nothing.

Well, I dont know if its common but it happens to me as well! Il be chatting away and then suddenly they stop talking forever. Like you i often answer questions and direct them back at the asker or expand on things etc but either way it doesnt really do well! Thing is i dont know what has happend- I dont know if i have said something what i thought was a joke but was offensive to the other person or if i just talk too much for their liking or whatever.....It is like im missing some aspect of conversation though- i think i am being nice and all that but the fact that people stop speaking says that im not! Or maybe people dont talk for long and im expecting things that are not normal?

Guess Ill never know

---

War, huh, yeah..what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

That song is really true.... I gues that in that instance there could have been some reason for a converstaion ending, but in other cases there must be something else? Unles thats just me

 

[holsten1]

Well, I dont know if its common but it happens to me as well! Il be chatting away and then suddenly they stop talking forever. Like you i often answer questions and direct them back at the asker or expand on things etc but either way it doesnt really do well! Thing is i dont know what has happend- I dont know if i have said something what i thought was a joke but was offensive to the other person or if i just talk too much for their liking or whatever.....It is like im missing some aspect of conversation though- i think i am being nice and all that but the fact that people stop speaking says that im not! Or maybe people dont talk for long and im expecting things that are not normal?

Guess Ill never know

---

War, huh, yeah..what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

That song is really true.... I gues that in that instance there could have been some reason for a converstaion ending, but in other cases there must be something else? Unles thats just me

---

Yeah I think a lot of types of humour just fail on the internet. I'm sure things like that have been a large part of the problem in the past in my case, but recently I figured I was more aware of things like that. I also know that talking too much was definitely a problem I had in the past, but that's also something I've cut down on massively.

And yeah sometimes I think the same, that it's more just that I have overly high expectations of people I meet online and need to care less about it, but it's easier said than done when you have little to no social life in real life.

 

[Rolo]

Yeah I think a lot of types of humour just fail on the internet. I'm sure things like that have been a large part of the problem in the past in my case, but recently I figured I was more aware of things like that. I also know that talking too much was definitely a problem I had in the past, but that's also something I've cut down on massively.

And yeah sometimes I think the same, that it's more just that I have overly high expectations of people I meet online and need to care less about it, but it's easier said than done when you have little to no social life in real life.

Hmm i guess Ill have to cut down on the jokes and the amounts I write and see what happens...its a pain though, I only write a lot because I am genuinley interested in what has been said and what Im writing about.
Yeh I know what you mean-you cnt help but have high expectations when talking online if you dont have many people to speak to in person. Im like that as well.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I'm incredibly surprised you thought I was talking about you with this post, I couldn't really have cared less about my minor and fleeting interaction with you. Also nobody died to give me the freedom to say anything, please don't talk such nonsense.

I did not think that you were referring specifically to me. It was a general observation. I do accept your apology, but not your overall attitude toward the people who did, indeed, suffer and have given more for your ability to ramble than you will ever. Nonetheless, as you feel that it is most productive for me not to respond, I will stand down. Stay safe and have a good life.

 

[holsten1]

I'm incredibly surprised you thought I was talking about you with this post, I couldn't really have cared less about my minor and fleeting interaction with you. Also nobody died to give me the freedom to say anything, please don't talk such nonsense.

I did not think that you were referring specifically to me. It was a general observation. I do accept your apology, but not your overall attitude toward the people who did, indeed, suffer and have given more for your ability to ramble than you will ever. Nonetheless, as you feel that it is most productive for me not to respond, I will stand down. Stay safe and have a good life.

Dude, no one suffered for me. That's such a bizarre attitude, I don't know where you've gotten this from. You don't even know what country I'm from. Even if you did it would be such an insane thing to suggest. As if people that go to war are just instantly entitled to my respect because I was born on the same bit of dirt surrounded by the same ocean? Seriously? None of these people knew me, they go to war for whatever personal reasons they might have for wanting to do so, I didn't ask these people to do ****. They're nothing to do with my life. You seem to think we're constantly under attack from Afghanistan or something? We're not.

Also how would you have even the slightest idea how much I've suffered for my "ability to ramble", or how much I ever will? You don't have a clue about that.

Anyway I pm'd you in chat to clear this up and you ignored it there, I don't really wanna keep posting in this thread about it, because it's gonna just turn into some ludicrous war debate. If you want to continue this conversation then pm me in chat or something.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

Well I've got to go out now, but I do want to reply to this later, if I have the mind to when I get back (hmm)

In short, though, minus a few flaws I noticed in this particular thread, I didn't think you were such a bad guy in chat when I first met you. Maybe that's worth something, if anything.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I like you Holsten. I hope to get to know you better.

 

[holsten1]

Appreciated, rabbit and vanilla.

This thread sort of implies I was referring to people on here. I wasn't really, for the most part everyone on here's really nice. If it came across as some kind of bitter attack on this forum, then it wasn't. Was more just my way of raging about something that happened this morning. I realise now it probably would have been more appropriate for the diary section.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

Well, there are times when you want to make a point and you do so in a rather brusque manner, but I suppose that doesn't bother me since I tend to be the same way. However, I feel that others have a right to feel offended when they are spoken to in that way from people like you or I, just because not everyone is used to being treated harshly or told, "This is how it is, deal with it," as such.
I learned that you have to lighten up a little sometimes. There are some people who don't mind being straight with each other, however blunt and harsh it may be, and those are the people you can bear all your **** to. There really is a time and place for everything.

---

Other than that, I personally don't think you're a bad guy, for whatever it's worth.

 

[holsten1]

Well, there are times when you want to make a point and you do so in a rather brusque manner, but I suppose that doesn't bother me since I tend to be the same way. However, I feel that others have a right to feel offended when they are spoken to in that way from people like you or I, just because not everyone is used to being treated harshly or told, "This is how it is, deal with it," as such.
I learned that you have to lighten up a little sometimes. There are some people who don't mind being straight with each other, however blunt and harsh it may be, and those are the people you can bear all your **** to. There really is a time and place for everything.

---

Other than that, I personally don't think you're a bad guy, for whatever it's worth.

---

Yeah fair enough, I see where you're coming from. It's just how I was raised really, it's hard to be aware of stuff like that most of the time, until you look at it in hindsight. Anyways, I appreciate the input.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You seem fine in chat from what I can tell.