She wants to bring a friend along??

[Seeker]

I never look for a mattress rodeo, I will never take advantage of a woman like that. Guess I'm looking for some casual dating, and if it gets serious then so be it

 

[ForGrantedWife]

Well that makes me feel better about it. I was starting to lose faith

 

[ardour]

That's what I mean about patience. Some women are worth the time it takes to win them and you have to be patient and be willing to go through some stuff for awhile. Think of yourself and your own bad qualities. Some men don't seem to realize how much a woman will have to put up with over them It's a two-way street, hon, as the saying goes.

Obviously it's not a two-way street if he's doing the winning over (in the more general sense of that statement, not speaking to your own past where you clearly weren't as into him as he you).

The idea that men should pursue with little-to-no positive feedback is sexist, dated and reveals indifference towards them personally. If you like a man aren't you supposed to care? It also leads to situations where men inadvertently persist with women who really don't want them around.

 

[Sterling]

Tell us how it went when you're back.

Your wish is my command

Well, I just came back, but I'm a little confused to be honest. Well, generally it went good, I mean she opened up pretty fast, we were comfortable, the conversation never died, and she even kept most of the focus on the two of us, only occasionally talking to her friend, who was mostly listening.

The problem is, I felt her friend's presence to the extent that i couldn't bring myself to flirt or even tease her, I just felt awkward about that. In the end i kissed her goodnight (on the cheek ), told her I had a great time, to which she replied an obscure "yeah, me too" and left with her friend.

So yeah, I do think that bringing her friend along only served to shield me instead of her, and now I don't even know if I want to see her again, I mean I couldn't get any actual signs that she liked me because her friend was there.

Thinking if I should confront her about that or just not talk to her again.

You could ask again, but what she did the first time around was inconsiderate. It was bound to be awkward with her friend around, it must have felt like she was there as a judge and from the moment you parted they would be talking about you.

That's what I mean about patience. Some women are worth the time it takes to win them and you have to be patient and be willing to go through some stuff for awhile. Think of yourself and your own bad qualities. Some men don't seem to realize how much a woman will have to put up with over them It's a two-way street, hon, as the saying goes.

Obviously it's not a two-way street if he's doing the winning over (in the more general sense of that statement, not speaking to your own past where you clearly weren't as into him as he you).

The idea that men should pursue with little-to-no positive feedback is sexist, dated and reveals indifference towards them personally. If you like a man aren't you supposed to care? It also leads to situations where men inadvertently persist with women who really don't want them around.

Andddd the second post. Blame media and whatnot that states "Men like having a chase. No chase = boring".

 

[ForGrantedWife]

"Obviously it's not a two-way street if he's doing the winning over (in the more general sense of that statement, not speaking to your own past where you clearly weren't as into him as he you).

The idea that men should pursue with little-to-no positive feedback is sexist, dated and reveals indifference towards them personally. If you like a man aren't you supposed to care? It also leads to situations where men inadvertently persist with women who really don't want them around."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hon, then you don't live in the world I live in because this is how it is, like it or lump it.

This is as old as time. Most women deal daily with men hitting on them constantly everywhere they go, and if we responded to every man who did this we'd be very busy girls indeed. Not in a good way, mind you. From the time I developed breasts I had men coming at me left and right, from old men to very young ones. When you're under a constant barrage of sexual innuendo and proposition from the time you're 12 years old, you get a little immune to it and shun the attention of males (deleted). And if there weren't men willing to put in the time to work on a relationship with a woman who at first resists him, there would be a few less of our species around. (Deleted). There are exceptions to the rule of course, but it's the usual thing. Males usually chase females and vie for their attention and partnership. This is true from the smallest creature in the animal world right up to us human beings. Watch nature shows, and you'll see males pursuing females in droves. Whales do it, sharks, foxes, birds, everything. Dated? Yep, from the beginning of time. Sexist? Sure, if you want to see it that way go ahead.

 

[Lippy_Kid]

In my experience a modern woman is just as capable of pursuing a man as vice versa, many female friends down the years I've known, if they see a guy out who they like, have no qualms about initiating things and they can be pretty direct about it! Anyway recent studies show women are just as unfaithful within marriage as men. It seems you ladies have been dragged down to our level and we're all just a bunch of unscrupulous nymphos now.

So expecting feedback.. hmmmm well I think leading someone on when you're not interested isn't very fair but then theres the thrill of the chase. I dont know, all's fair in love and war as they say but there should be a bit if room for play boring decency now and then if someone is making a fool of themselves.

 

[Triple Bogey]

In my experience a modern woman is just as capable of pursuing a man as vice versa, many female friends down the years I've known, if they see a guy out who they like, have no qualms about initiating things and they can be pretty direct about it! Anyway recent studies show women are just as unfaithful within marriage as men. It seems you ladies have been dragged down to our level and we're all just a bunch of unscrupulous nymphos now.

So expecting feedback.. hmmmm well I think leading someone on when you're not interested isn't very fair but then theres the thrill of the chase. I dont know, all's fair in love and war as they say but there should be a bit if room for play boring decency now and then if someone is making a fool of themselves.
[/quote

 

[EveWasFramed]

.... you know exactly what they're after and it's usually not your friendship.
Because men are more often the more sexual of the two sexes, as a rule.

Im sorry, but if that was a male saying something similar about a female, this thread would likely have erupted by now. I will no more allow these kinds of stereotypes about men than I would women.
Maybe your own personal experiences fall under what you're described above but that kind of stereotyping simply isn't acceptable here. Thank you for understanding.

 

[ForGrantedWife]

Deleted.

 

[EveWasFramed]

It must be different here then, because it's usually the other way around and men are the pursuers. This is going to sound awful but it's how I saw it and simply a fact of life (here anyway). The pretty girls didn't have to pursue anyone, because they were being pursued by so many different men that there was no need. So I guess it would depend on the woman in question. The prettier the girl, the more male attention surrounded her. I've seen it my whole life. My Mother was a beauty, she could walk into a random restaurant and suddenly the one running the place at the time would be at our table. Like magic, it was amazing to my young mind how fast men tried to get near her. Without her saying a word, he'd be lighting her cigarettes, giving her a free meal pass and we'd eat there for free. All from a man she didn't know from anyone else on the street and wouldn't see again unless we returned to eat there. I remember we were walking up to a courthouse to pay our taxes one time and she and I were dressed up. I think I was 13 at the time. There wasn't a man who didn't whip around to watch her walk by. One actually tripped a little on the sidewalk, lol. There was always someone there to get the door, pull out chairs, etc. So this is my view of it, and the way it always was around me and where I live. Which would be why I have the opinion I have I guess. Makes sense from my perspective, doesn't it? The women in my family were beauties, the majority of my friends were pretty girls. So from where I sit, this is what happens.

Well, in case you haven't noticed, you are clearly the exception, not the rule.
Also, expecting a man to run around after you without giving him any kind of feedback is ...well just rude. Tell him to get lost or return his interest. It's really not that difficult to let someone know where they stand. I will have to agree with rdor on this particular issue. No one, male nor female should EVER feel like they have some sort of God-given right to be "chased" by the opposite sex.

 

[Lippy_Kid]

Oh I don't doubt it, attractive women attract, but the same could be said of men also, they can also turn heads too and of course society is changing so quickly even in the last 20 years so what may have been the case when we were younger has also moved on. To me it seems anything goes and women are happier to seal the deal and fair play to them. I blame the diet coke break man myself.

 

[ForGrantedWife]

.... you know exactly what they're after and it's usually not your friendship.
Because men are more often the more sexual of the two sexes, as a rule.

Im sorry, but if that was a male saying something similar about a female, this thread would likely have erupted by now. I will no more allow these kinds of stereotypes about men than I would women.
Maybe your own personal experiences fall under what you're described above but that kind of stereotyping simply isn't acceptable here. Thank you for understanding.

I'm sorry Eve, but this is what's happened to me my whole life. It's my experience and it hasn't been a good or safe one. The women in my family are pretty women, and it's led to big trouble for nearly all of them. My Grandmother was ***** and murdered and left in a ditch naked and dead when I was a baby because she was a pretty woman and went for an exercise walk after dinner. She never made it home alive. We were told there were three of them. That kind of thing leaves a mark on a whole family, as you can imagine. I can't even begin to tell the tale of what all has happened to the women in my family. From murder to ****, and not just her, not by a long shot. This is my own experience with it and for that I've developed this opinion. I'll keep it to myself from now on. But if you had seen what all I've seen in my life I doubt you'd be feeling any different than me.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Oh I don't doubt it, attractive women attract, but the same could be said of men also, they can also turn heads too and of course society is changing so quickly even in the last 20 years so what may have been the case when we were younger has also moved on. To me it seems anything goes and women are happier to seal the deal and fair play to them. I blame the diet coke break man myself.

LOL!!!!!

---

But if had seen what all I've seen in my life I doubt you'd be feeling any different than me.

Not to discount the horrid things that you have seen or has happened to women in your family (or any women) but I have not only seen, but experienced the horrors that are sometimes inflicted on women. You will get no argument from me on that issue.

I wasn't really speaking of this issue, but on the issue of letting someone know where they stand. Perhaps people who get that kind of attention might be better served being honest right up front and letting someone know they aren't at all interested.

 

[ForGrantedWife]

I wasn't talking about me, but my Mother. And I've seen it time and time again with my pretty girlfriends. If it makes you feel better to try and berate me for my own personal observations on my own little world, I guess it just does. I can't control the world, it is what it is here. I have no control over what I've seen and heard and I was stating facts from my own corner of the world. It may be completely different somewhere else. But this is the way it is here, as I said. I live in a very small community, surrounded by farms and churches. Our way of life is more traditional. The protocol for dating is different, women (HERE where I live) are not usually the pursuers. I made the point I was trying to make for what it was worth to general readers. I'm sure there are other women who have seen something similar in their own lives, I can't be the only one. Just because I am in a discussion pool of two men and one woman, doesn't mean the entire world would agree. I'll drop it now.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Wtf are you talking about? I didn't berate you in any way, shape or form.
You made a stereotypical assessment of men in general and I pointed it out.
I disagreed with the notion that men should feel obligated to "chase" women.
How that turned into a convo about attractive women being targets for rapists and me "berating" you, I have no idea.

Edit: ps. I have nothing I need to "make myself feel better about" either.

 

[ForGrantedWife]

Alright Eve, sorry if I misunderstood. I felt you were. I'm sorry talking about my own personal experiences is angering you. I did say I'll drop it, and so I shall.

 

[Seeker]

Wow, my thread has evolved a lot since i started it, there is no point in arguing about it people, it depends on the woman's character really, some pursue, some don't. Nevertheless, I do appreciate women who show me where i stand in their mind interest-wise more than those who don't give me anything to work with. If the woman doesn't show me the slightest sign of interest, you can't really blame me for losing my interest in her too, can you? Last time i checked i wasn't a psychic, so i can't read her thoughts and know whether she's interested or not, she will have to show it to me, at least through body signals.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You talking about your own personal experiences doesn't anger me in the least.
You taking pot shots at my character DOES.
If anything, I was acknowledging that the horrors you wrote about most certainly exist and in a previous post, I acknowledged that you were drawing from your own experiences.

I honestly have no idea why you got so upset, but you're right - best to drop the matter.

Back to the topic....

I will totally let a guy know I'm interested.

 

[constant stranger]

Dialogues and sentiments like this, when I was still a young man, was contributory to my choosing to live like a monk.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I will totally let a guy know I'm interested.

Yes! Wouldn't want to lose that opportunitiy. Hehe.