short guys at a real disadvantage?

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LostInside said:
freedom said:
LostInside said:
freedom said:
unfortunately, height is a major player when it comes to getting dates... but hey, so are big ****s.

what i'm saying is, these things don't really matter. sure, they'll attract more mates, but what women are really attracted to is self-confidence. don't let your insecurities get the best of you. dating is a mind game. women don't really care about height, or personality, or looks, or even social status. all those things mean nothing if you have no confidence in yourself, and those "strict" requirements will be waived if you can be (you guessed it) confident in yourself and your ability to win them over.

GOOD LUCK!

If they don't matter why do so many women have artificial cut offs for height? Very few will consider dating a man who is shorter than them, if these women consider them men at all. I've heard it from all women before 5'4" is too short, anything under 5'10" is too short. I've had women straight up tell me I was too short. I've had women tell me I am half-a-man because of my height. Men do not completely disregard women because of the size of their breast. Men do not have an artifical cut off limit with regards to females height or cup size. Google personal ads, I bet you will not see a single ad posted from a male that has a cup size exclusion, but you will see dozens upon dozens upon dozens upon dozens of women say "must be this height".

Confidence matters but that line is extremely thin, if a short man strays one tenth of one hundredth of one inch to one side he will be classified as having short man syndrome. That is a line I have had to walk my entire life. It is something no one understands except short men.

I am not saying it is impossible, I am simply a realist, and I know that 98% of women reject me instantly for no reason beyond my height.

you're not seeing my point...

unless you're only into dating supermodels and a-list actresses, then yes, the line of confidence is very thin.

i can tell just by reading your post how badly you lack it.

You're not seeing reality. The evidence that height is one of the most important factors women look at is incontrovertible.

As for you being able to make such judgments about people you have never met that is really cool! I wish I had that magic power :)

Women also look for people who are pretty, low fat percentage and on goes the list. Yeah sure, being tall is a good thing when it comes to attraction, but attraction doesn't work as a list of things that they cross off. If you believe that you've got it wrong. It is just not how it works. If you say that your height limits you when it comes to women, IT WILL, even though its friggin bulls#"!)t.
 
Lonesome Crow said:
we all already know COMPETING and COMPAIRING behaviors isnt healty
or dont we?lol
**** like thats **** a persons esteem...
It thread is just another example of that.....

The competitive aspect of masculinity is not only one of the most defining traits of males anywhere in the animal kingdom, but also one of the most beneficial for the entire species. I add, then, also for society.
 
trZ said:
Women also look for people who are pretty, low fat percentage and on goes the list. Yeah sure, being tall is a good thing when it comes to attraction, but attraction doesn't work as a list of things that they cross off. If you believe that you've got it wrong. It is just not how it works. If you say that your height limits you when it comes to women, IT WILL, even though its friggin bulls#"!)t.

Body fat is something that people have control over to a certain extent. Height is a thing that women cross off a list. I am on a dating website and have been rejected because of my height. I have been told right to my face that I am "half a man". I've been told right to my face that my height is unacceptable. I've been told that I am good looking and I would be a 10, but because I am half a man I am only a 5.

Whether I say my height limits me or not is irrelevant, because it does no matter what I say; yes it is bulls#"!)t but that is how the world works.
 
LostInside said:
Body fat is something that people have control over to a certain extent. Height is a thing that women cross off a list. I am on a dating website and have been rejected because of my height. I have been told right to my face that I am "half a man". I've been told right to my face that my height is unacceptable. I've been told that I am good looking and I would be a 10, but because I am half a man I am only a 5.

Whether I say my height limits me or not is irrelevant, because it does no matter what I say; yes it is bulls#"!)t but that is how the world works.

What is your height anyway? If you're actually below 5'4", then you will face difficulties and obviously no one is going to dispute that. But you can overcome it - to an extent, with confidence and a good attitude. In the long run, I do think that leg lengthening might be a promising aspect for you.
 
IgnoredOne said:
LostInside said:
Body fat is something that people have control over to a certain extent. Height is a thing that women cross off a list. I am on a dating website and have been rejected because of my height. I have been told right to my face that I am "half a man". I've been told right to my face that my height is unacceptable. I've been told that I am good looking and I would be a 10, but because I am half a man I am only a 5.

Whether I say my height limits me or not is irrelevant, because it does no matter what I say; yes it is bulls#"!)t but that is how the world works.

What is your height anyway? If you're actually below 5'4", then you will face difficulties and obviously no one is going to dispute that. But you can overcome it - to an extent, with confidence and a good attitude. In the long run, I do think that leg lengthening might be a promising aspect for you.

Leg lengthening is unfortunately an option for people, at $80,000 with months of pain simply to be treated on a more equal playing is really a testament to how far people will go. One of the things I don't get about this thread is the failure to acknowledge that height is a limiting factor.
 
LostInside said:
trZ said:
Women also look for people who are pretty, low fat percentage and on goes the list. Yeah sure, being tall is a good thing when it comes to attraction, but attraction doesn't work as a list of things that they cross off. If you believe that you've got it wrong. It is just not how it works. If you say that your height limits you when it comes to women, IT WILL, even though its friggin bulls#"!)t.

Body fat is something that people have control over to a certain extent. Height is a thing that women cross off a list. I am on a dating website and have been rejected because of my height. I have been told right to my face that I am "half a man". I've been told right to my face that my height is unacceptable. I've been told that I am good looking and I would be a 10, but because I am half a man I am only a 5.

Whether I say my height limits me or not is irrelevant, because it does no matter what I say; yes it is bulls#"!)t but that is how the world works.

My cousin is 5'5. He works out a whole lot. He dresses nicely, he is very confident and has very good personal hygiene. These are traits that girls like. His height might not be one of them. But he gets girls. Hot ones. With ease. Who are also taller than him. He is the reason why I really don't buy into the whole "THE ONLY REASON IS BECAUSE I'M SHORT". Its just not true. What certain women say to you is one thing, dismissing your chances with almost all women is just stupid. I don't believe that your height limits you in such a way, but I'm again sure that if you choose to believe that because of your height, you can't be with someone you like, then it will have a huge impact.
 
trZ said:
LostInside said:
trZ said:
Women also look for people who are pretty, low fat percentage and on goes the list. Yeah sure, being tall is a good thing when it comes to attraction, but attraction doesn't work as a list of things that they cross off. If you believe that you've got it wrong. It is just not how it works. If you say that your height limits you when it comes to women, IT WILL, even though its friggin bulls#"!)t.

Body fat is something that people have control over to a certain extent. Height is a thing that women cross off a list. I am on a dating website and have been rejected because of my height. I have been told right to my face that I am "half a man". I've been told right to my face that my height is unacceptable. I've been told that I am good looking and I would be a 10, but because I am half a man I am only a 5.

Whether I say my height limits me or not is irrelevant, because it does no matter what I say; yes it is bulls#"!)t but that is how the world works.

My cousin is 5'5. He works out a whole lot. He dresses nicely, he is very confident and has very good personal hygiene. These are traits that girls like. His height might not be one of them. But he gets girls. Hot ones. With ease. Who are also taller than him. He is the reason why I really don't buy into the whole "THE ONLY REASON IS BECAUSE I'M SHORT". Its just not true. What certain women say to you is one thing, dismissing your chances with almost all women is just stupid. I don't believe that your height limits you in such a way, but I'm again sure that if you choose to believe that because of your height, you can't be with someone you like, then it will have a huge impact.

I also have dated women who are taller than me, what's your point? Not all women fall into the same neat box, but that does not preclude the reality that women overwhelming ignore shorter men and overwhelming have a strong desire for tall men. I don't dismiss my chances with nearly all women, they dismiss their chances with me. I fail to see how acknowledging that reality is the same as "dismissing your chances with almost all women" (your words). You're cousin at 5'5" has most likely had women reject him because of his height whether he sees it or not.

Failure to acknowledge an issue does not make it nonexistent. The mere fact that you don't acknowledge this shows you must have never experienced being a short man. I'd have to guess you are at least 5'11" minimum. I do find it amusing that tall men try to tell me about life as a short man.
 
LostInside said:
Leg lengthening is unfortunately an option for people, at $80,000 with months of pain simply to be treated on a more equal playing is really a testament to how far people will go. One of the things I don't get about this thread is the failure to acknowledge that height is a limiting factor.

One of the central beliefs of modern society is that 'everyone is equal, and therefore, all your gains or losses are because of your own effort, or lack thereof.' Anything that contravenes that tends to be shouted down, no matter how true it is. The central precepts of working hard and doing the best you can, of course, are valid; it is also possible to overexaggerate one's limitations on oneself. Being realistic about things, and you seem like you are, is valuable as well, though.
 
LostInside: I'm 6'4. I can see that you have made up your mind, I wish you the best in life and I sincerely hope that you are very wrong and realize this.
 
trZ said:
LostInside: I'm 6'4. I can see that you have made up your mind, I wish you the best in life and I sincerely hope that you are very wrong and realize this.

If you really want to compare the disadvantages short men have we can do that. You will not find a single scholarly article which says short men are desired by women, not one. You truly have no clue what you are talking about. You have zero experience in life as a short man and you are trying to tell me as a man who is short that I am wrong, that my life is wrong and that dozens of scholarly articles are wrong.

Wake up and read
 
actually, I'd like to stay out of this...
 
LostInside said:
trZ said:
LostInside: I'm 6'4. I can see that you have made up your mind, I wish you the best in life and I sincerely hope that you are very wrong and realize this.

If you really want to compare the disadvantages short men have we can do that. You will not find a single scholarly article which says short men are desired by women, not one. You truly have no clue what you are talking about. You have zero experience in life as a short man and you are trying to tell me as a man who is short that I am wrong, that my life is wrong and that dozens of scholarly articles are wrong.

Wake up and read

Well, dear, if you're here to look for sympathy for your predicament, as it were, you're probably not going to find any. We all have unchangeable things about us that we want to change. You're not special in that regard.
I'm 5'9" and I like to wear high heels. So most days I tower over everyone I meet, men included. About 90% of the men I've dated have been my height or shorter. My child's dad is 5'5".
If you're trying to meet women, why are you focused on a perceived fault of yours instead something positive. If I met a man whose attitude was "women aren't going to like me because short guys are at a disadvantage", I would move onto the next guy. It's not my job to convince a man that he's likeable just the way he is.

Teresa
 
SofiasMami said:
LostInside said:
trZ said:
LostInside: I'm 6'4. I can see that you have made up your mind, I wish you the best in life and I sincerely hope that you are very wrong and realize this.

If you really want to compare the disadvantages short men have we can do that. You will not find a single scholarly article which says short men are desired by women, not one. You truly have no clue what you are talking about. You have zero experience in life as a short man and you are trying to tell me as a man who is short that I am wrong, that my life is wrong and that dozens of scholarly articles are wrong.

Wake up and read

Well, dear, if you're here to look for sympathy for your predicament, as it were, you're probably not going to find any. We all have unchangeable things about us that we want to change. You're not special in that regard.
I'm 5'9" and I like to wear high heels. So most days I tower over everyone I meet, men included. About 90% of the men I've dated have been my height or shorter. My child's dad is 5'5".
If you're trying to meet women, why are you focused on a perceived fault of yours instead something positive. If I met a man whose attitude was "women aren't going to like me because short guys are at a disadvantage", I would move onto the next guy. It's not my job to convince a man that he's likeable just the way he is.

Teresa

Empathy is irrelevant and undesired. Although it would be nice for individuals here to merely admit that short men face disadvantages. Not just romantically, but economically as men are partially paid based on their height. Is it honestly too much to ask people to acknowledge that heightism is real? I acknowledge the fact that women get paid less than men on average, I acknowledge that overweight women and unattractive women do face a more difficult time both in romance and in the workplace. Why is it so difficult to admit something that is universally known? Why is everyone trying to tell me that every scholarly article on this topic is wrong and that my life is wrong? Seriously I'd like to know. In fact, it looks like tall men and women are the ones who are most likely to downplay the significance of height for men, isn't that surprising?

Also it is not my attitude that short men are at a real disadvantage, that is a social and economic fact. I see nothing wrong with learning about how society works, apparently others do.
 
Allright allright you win, there is a disadvantage. I'm not being sarcastic. Its there and there is little to nothing you can do about it. But what you CAN do is get the **** over it, because you are actually powerless. Don't spend all this time pondering about **** you can't do anything about, start using your time and energy on something you actually control.
 
trZ said:
Allright allright you win, there is a disadvantage. I'm not being sarcastic. Its there and there is little to nothing you can do about it. But what you CAN do is get the **** over it, because you are actually powerless. Don't spend all this time pondering about **** you can't do anything about, start using your time and energy on something you actually control.

I spend my time learning about anything and everything I desire to. Got it? You may limit what you are willing to learn but I am not, I will learn about anything and everything I desire to whether you like it or not. And yes there is something short men can do, it is called leg lengthening surgery and it is prohibitively expensive, it takes at least half a year, it adds two to three inches of height, it is incredibly painful. I can't not afford it, partially because short men get paid less, however it is something that at least one other on this forum is considering because they see the importance of height for men.

And yes there is more short men can do, there is legislation in states that would ban discrimination against people based on height and weight. Obviously those who are tall scoff at the idea. There is no reason why short men deserve get paid on average $800 less per inch of height per year simply because of their height, no reason at all. Something I am sure others here will vociferously deny exists despite the unequivocal facts. I also completely support legislation for equal pay for women like SofiasMami, unfortunately she is not even willing to admit what short men have to face and would most likely scoff at legislation saying heightism is wrong.
 
Nope, don't get it. I don't understand what you want from this topic. Ok if it is true as you say that short men get paid less then that sucks, I guess its a psychological thing in humans. If there are actions you are willing to take to get past the problem then I suggest you do so, if not I suggest you move right on with your life. My point is very simple: Don't waste time on being angry at the problem, because it won't get you anywhere, it is utterly pointless. Learn all you can, thats great, but you are clearly angry about this (I'm not saying you can't be angry), and I think it would be wise to just let it go.

I'm glad that I am tall, I've never experienced being a short man, and I admit I wouldn't want to be short my self. But that's life, you just have to accept it and move on.

Oh and don't bother telling me that short men are at a disadvantage, you've made it very clear.
 
I guess it just means I know a lot of people like you. Individuals who aren't willing to read and learn who willingly ascribe themselves to biases. As a tall guy you have never been told you are less of a human because of your height, I have. Since this is a thread about the disadvantages of short men anyone is up to posting their experiences. If you don't want to hear about the disadvantages we face then don't click on the thread! I didn't force you to read a single thing, you openly decided to click on a thread about short men. Having experienced zero of that discrimination in your life you then decide to mock and ridicule me. I have never been overweight, and I never tell overweight people how they should feel or act. Nor with women, nor with anyone of any other physical nature that I am not. In fact a guy were to tell an overweight women to "get the **** over it" as you have told me that would likely end with their face getting slapped. Your attitude truly shows how ingrained heightism is in society.

Here is an idea, if you want to stick your fingers in your ears and sing "lah lah lah i won't acknowledge reality" that is fine. However don't click on a thread about short men and expect there to be no discussion on the topic, savvy?
 
If you are offended by my opinion on your problem, I'm sorry. I just don't think its worth spending energy on. My problem with what you are writing is not your opinion on the topic, it is the fact that there simply is no base of discussion here. I don't see this thread going anywhere. But hey, I might be wrong. I'm tall and I truly do not understand what you go through, so I will leave your thread alone.
 
trZ said:
If you are offended by my opinion on your problem, I'm sorry. I just don't think its worth spending energy on. My problem with what you are writing is not your opinion on the topic, it is the fact that there simply is no base of discussion here. I don't see this thread going anywhere. But hey, I might be wrong. I'm tall and I truly do not understand what you go through, so I will leave your thread alone.


Being on the side of the bell curve that affronts your more respect, more money and more power for no reason other than being lucky obviously lets you outright dismiss any and all discrimination against short men. If you have any real interest in the topic do research, real research with scholarly articles by economist and sociologist. If not and you don't want to hear what the disadvantages of being a short man in the 21st century then don't click the thread title which says "Short Guys at a real disadvantage?"

It is also not up to you to decide which topic should and should not be discussed. Since height is something that affects peoples social and economic well being it deserves to be discussed as much as any other topic. One more, if you think this topic shouldn't be discussed, then don't discuss it! No one is forcing you to continually open this thread. There are dozens of topics here I don't feel like discussing, but I am not arrogant enough to say there is no basis for discussing them.
 
I'm 5'10 (last time I was measured, some-time ago) and I am just 15.

But I can tell you from personal experience, its not "height" per-say; its just that height gives off an aura of confidence and strength. That is what girls/women want. If your smaller and give off the same exact aura of confidence and strength, I believe you should have no problem at all.
 
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