Should I change my personnality?

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DakotaDesert said:
Yes it sucks. Do "normal" men exist somewhere?

They do. I even know some. Unfortunately, I am their BuddyGirl or they're taken, or otherwise unavailable to me. I attract the drama-stirring men who eventually leave me for someone else. Oh yay.


DakotaDesert said:
Living in drama make them feel alive? It is not my philosophy of life.

Maybe they're like adrenaline junkies, and they get their rush by immersing themselves in dysfunctionality.

Who knows.
 
cheaptrickfan said:
They do. I even know some. Unfortunately, I am their BuddyGirl or they're taken, or otherwise unavailable to me. I attract the drama-stirring men who eventually leave me for someone else. Oh yay.
So you are in the same situation. How do you manage that? What do you get over the disappointment and the sadness?
One time after another it hurts less and less but it is still painfull. And the feeling that I will never be happy ever again with a man makes things worst.

cheaptrickfan said:
Maybe they're like adrenaline junkies, and they get their rush by immersing themselves in dysfunctionality.
Who knows.
I think that being with someone more miserable than them makes them feel better. It is psychologically proven that the misery of some people makes some other people feeling happier.
 
DakotaDesert said:
So you are in the same situation. How do you manage that? What do you get over the disappointment and the sadness?
One time after another it hurts less and less but it is still painfull. And the feeling that I will never be happy ever again with a man makes things worst.

Well, I never really get over the disappointment and sadness, but I've learned to deal with it. I'm very fortunate that I have two beautiful daughters from my marriage. I'm focusing pretty intently on their well-being and just being a mom.

At some point, thought I know I have to start living for myself, but not just yet. I'm really not in the mood for ******** from men, and yes, I do have a bad attitude just thinking about relationships. In order for me to get over this very bad attitude about the men who like me, I need to expend some effort.

Right now though, I'd much rather spend the time with my kids, so I've come to accept being alone. y roughest times are when the kids are at the father's house. That's when I tend to fall apart. :/


DakotaDesert said:
I think that being with someone more miserable than them makes them feel better. It is psychologically proven that the misery of some people makes some other people feeling happier.

You could very well be right.
 
cheaptrickfan said:
DakotaDesert said:
So you are in the same situation. How do you manage that? What do you get over the disappointment and the sadness?
One time after another it hurts less and less but it is still painfull. And the feeling that I will never be happy ever again with a man makes things worst.

Well, I never really get over the disappointment and sadness, but I've learned to deal with it. I'm very fortunate that I have two beautiful daughters from my marriage. I'm focusing pretty intently on their well-being and just being a mom.

At some point, thought I know I have to start living for myself, but not just yet. I'm really not in the mood for ******** from men, and yes, I do have a bad attitude just thinking about relationships. In order for me to get over this very bad attitude about the men who like me, I need to expend some effort.

Right now though, I'd much rather spend the time with my kids, so I've come to accept being alone. y roughest times are when the kids are at the father's house. That's when I tend to fall apart. :/


DakotaDesert said:
I think that being with someone more miserable than them makes them feel better. It is psychologically proven that the misery of some people makes some other people feeling happier.

You could very well be right.

I am doing the same. I concentrate on my kids, on my work and try to keep myself busy the more I can. It helps to keep my mind away from the sadness. I feel lonely anyway but I have been so disappointed by men that right now I prefer to stay away from them. That's sucks. Your advice helps me. Hope things will be better for you soon.
 
Please don't lose hope. There are decent men out there.
 
DakotaDesert said:
I am doing the same. I concentrate on my kids, on my work and try to keep myself busy the more I can. It helps to keep my mind away from the sadness. I feel lonely anyway but I have been so disappointed by men that right now I prefer to stay away from them. That's sucks. Your advice helps me. Hope things will be better for you soon.

Wow, we are totally on the same page here. It's weird, a lot of people who know me think I'm deranged for just "giving up," as they call it. It's only temporary, but they think that I need to get out there. Ugh.

Not a chance. I'm not in a good place for that.

I hope that things improve for you too.
 

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