ardour
Well known loser
However the entire situation wasn't as clear cut as you make it out to be. With one woman her response was enthusiastic the first time. After we traded numbers that same night we texted for 4 hours. Later she actually texted me first inquiring about my life, so I started doing the same with her. We actually had a couple more long text sessions but something was off - she was always texting me like a friend, which only increased my hesitancy to ask her out. Again, this didnt come off as shyness or trying to hide a crush. It came off as very intentional so as for her not to give the wrong idea.
You didn't do anything wrong in that instance, things just fizzled out.
Another reason for my hesitancy in asking her out was that I had did that with the other woman pretty early, and was rejected. So I reverted to being more cautions this time, attempting to understand if she was really interested in me - and I dont think she ever really was.
Either they're interested or they aren't. If they aren't then the chances of you changing their feelings via the indirect approach are low-to-none, and least of all through text messages.
Also, Im introverted and introverted intuitive. My mind works in the way where I try to figure things out through patterns, hints, the abstract. In more simpler terms, I'm not very direct because I don't take things at face value. I like to understand something first before proceeding
No offence but this is irrelevant to how the other party feels or reads the situation. Worst case, they could read this behaviour as an attempt to weazel into their lives under the guise of platonic friendship. Then the Nice Guy accusations start.
In the end, if the person is right for you, it won't be a game that you can win or lose.
If someone is genuinely interested in getting to know you, they won't have an issue showing a little patience with you or even overlooking a few small missteps. There's people who will crush on someone for years, let alone a few weeks. If they read you as 'low value' and dismiss you because you took some time to talk to them over text, then well, they aren't for you. Would they dismiss Harry Styles if he did the same? We all deserves someone who perceives us as high value because of who we are, not because of how good our 'game' is.
But if someone were genuinely interested you wouldn't have to spend months texting them your life story, trying to know everything about them, making effort to 'put them at ease' and convince them you're a great guy. They would make it easy for you, be more engaged, ask to meet.
This isn't some alpha tactic, it's showing that you have self respect, that your time is valuable. An incidental effect is that some women may find that more attractive, but even if they don't it lets you leave these situations feeling better.
We've all been there, kept sending messages when we shouldn't have, tried to keep some hope alive, but it almost never works.
Last edited: