So, having given up on women, what do you do instead?

[IgnoredOne]

Women are definitely less judgmental of looks; they might talk about how they find someone 'cute', but my experience is that they actually do tend to feel attraction based on overall personality much more so. The things that women might find attractive about a guy tend to be to be things that he can change, as well.

 

[putter65]

Women are definitely less judgmental of looks; they might talk about how they find someone 'cute', but my experience is that they actually do tend to feel attraction based on overall personality much more so. The things that women might find attractive about a guy tend to be to be things that he can change, as well.

well it is what I have seen and heard. Maybe women will say one thing and actually think something else ? Or when a group of women are together, they say things to show off etc. And of course, looks are subjective.

I think 'looks' give you that initial chance. A woman will walk across a room to meet a guy at a party because of his looks but after that he has to impress her with his personality and charm.

 

[IgnoredOne]

You should never make a woman walk to you to meet you.

 

[putter65]

You should never make a woman walk to you to meet you.

the sky is blue and water is wet

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I think 'looks' give you that initial chance. A woman will walk across a room to meet a guy at a party because of his looks but after that he has to impress her with his personality and charm.

You hit the nail on the head, buddy!

As Randy Quaid said in Independence Day...

"I've been sayin' it for 10 damn years!"

 

[ardour]

Over big guys moaning, what a waste of potential - get a haircut and make sure you're clean and tidy (often an additional problem), stop eating rubbish - I mean look at that diet! Excercise a bit and in a few months bam. You. Have. Life.

Youngish women sure as hell judge by appearance, just that a good deal of the hate is focused on the worst looking 5-10% of men who end up walking around with their heads down, ashamed to live.
People can spot these guys easily (insta mutual recognition for me). Count yourselves lucky you're probably not one of them.

 

[AngryKoreanMan]

Nice way to stereotype women.


You can always fill your hole with men.

OP, perhaps you're looking in all the wrong places

 

[putter65]

I think 'looks' give you that initial chance. A woman will walk across a room to meet a guy at a party because of his looks but after that he has to impress her with his personality and charm.

You hit the nail on the head, buddy!

As Randy Quaid said in Independence Day...

"I've been sayin' it for 10 damn years!"

I'm glad somebody actually agree's with me for once !

---

Over big guys moaning, what a waste of potential - get a haircut and make sure you're clean a tidy (often an additional problem), stop eating rubbish - I mean look at that diet!, excercise a bit and in a few months bam. You. Have. Life.

Youngish women sure as hell judge by appearance, just that a good deal of the hate is focused on the worst looking 5-10% of men who end up walking around with their heads down, ashamed to live.
People can spot them easily (insta mutual recognition for me). Count yourselves lucky you're probably not one of them.

yes, agree. I am probably in the 5% - 10%. And I do walk with my head down most of the time.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

You have to see yourself in the picture....
See yourself ******* her brains out or whatever...but you must see and feel yourself doing it.
It's not exclusive to just sex. Its impartial.

It's the same as picturing or day dreaming about driving a new car....
You imagine the car but you never imgain yourself experincing driving the car from the inside.
You never imgain yourself holding the title to that automobile or taking a road trip in it...ect.
Then you'll notice that automoblie manifest itself in your life...but someone else is driving it.

It's not any different than people picturing themselves winning or loosing wieght.

You're still gonna believe in yourself...no matter what.
It's what you believe in what you can do or cant do.
What you focus upon is impartial.....

It's the same with your motive or motivations.
None of us lack motivations...we're either more motivated to get off of our ass or sit on our ass.
It's in the pay offs...We justify, reasons or make excuses accordingly.

Its the same with faith...we all have faith. It's what we have faith in.
It's the same with beliefs.

If you run with other peoples negativities and your own negativities...what else would you expect????
You gather evidence accordingly. It's what you focus upon. Tunnel vision. Closed minded.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Over big guys moaning, what a waste of potential - get a haircut and make sure you're clean and tidy (often an additional problem), stop eating rubbish - I mean look at that diet! Excercise a bit and in a few months bam. You. Have. Life.

Youngish women sure as hell judge by appearance, just that a good deal of the hate is focused on the worst looking 5-10% of men who end up walking around with their heads down, ashamed to live.
People can spot these guys easily (insta mutual recognition for me). Count yourselves lucky you're probably not one of them.

I shower ever day, have a business exec cut, eat no junk food, have a green smoothie every day, watch my diet, hike 10+ miles a week. Still get rejected.

 

[putter65]

Over big guys moaning, what a waste of potential - get a haircut and make sure you're clean and tidy (often an additional problem), stop eating rubbish - I mean look at that diet! Excercise a bit and in a few months bam. You. Have. Life.

Youngish women sure as hell judge by appearance, just that a good deal of the hate is focused on the worst looking 5-10% of men who end up walking around with their heads down, ashamed to live.
People can spot these guys easily (insta mutual recognition for me). Count yourselves lucky you're probably not one of them.

I shower ever day, have a business exec cut, eat no junk food, have a green smoothie every day, watch my diet, hike 10+ miles a week. Still get rejected.

put women to the back of your mind and start enjoying yourself. Looking for a girlfriend and not finding one is depressing. Give it a rest for awhile. Do other stuff.

I am. It is great to wake up in the morning and not have a woman on my mind. No more waiting for emails or texts or snooping on facebook. No more of that crap !

 

[LonelyInAtl]

put women to the back of your mind and start enjoying yourself. Looking for a girlfriend and not finding one is depressing. Give it a rest for awhile. Do other stuff.

I am. It is great to wake up in the morning and not have a woman on my mind. No more waiting for emails or texts or snooping on facebook. No more of that crap !

It would be nice to have a date to the various events that happen around this time of year. Jazzoo, The Nutcracker, corporate Holiday parties, some fundraiser formals, etc.

 

[putter65]

put women to the back of your mind and start enjoying yourself. Looking for a girlfriend and not finding one is depressing. Give it a rest for awhile. Do other stuff.

I am. It is great to wake up in the morning and not have a woman on my mind. No more waiting for emails or texts or snooping on facebook. No more of that crap !

It would be nice to have a date to the various events that happen around this time of year. Jazzoo, The Nutcracker, corporate Holiday parties, some fundraiser formals, etc.

it would be very nice !

But if it's getting you down then stop looking for awhile and you might feel better about things !

 

[lolgirl]

No wonder you don't have a gal with that attitude of women.
You must have really been hurt bad to feel that way about us.
But we aren't all like that.

 

[putter65]

No wonder you don't have a gal with that attitude of women.
You must have really been hurt bad to feel that way about us.
But we aren't all like that.

Ive had that many disapointments over the years - it's no wonder I have an attitude. There are so many I have forgotten most of them !

I wish I could tell you all a nice story. Even a relationship that didn't last long but was nice. I have a few female friends kicking around and I have had some nice friendships with women over the years. This married woman about 10 years ago, we went over 50 times to the cinema together. That was nice, I always enjoyed her company.

But romantically ? Nothing. The two women I have been out with both cheated on me with other men. And weren't very nice people either.

I wanted a girlfriend when I was 16. So I have suffered 28 years of disapointments. I do prefer to be single. It's alot less stress !

 

[Walley]

I wanted a girlfriend when I was 16. So I have suffered 28 years of disapointments.

disappointments comes from high expectations. maybe if you lower expectations, or at least try to open yourself up to types of personalities that you may have not been interested in before.. maybe you will break the cycle of poor relationships?
but really, i think the key to meeting someone is to be aware, but not on the hunt.
the harder you try, the harder it is to attract the right person.
if you are approachable and pleasant while being yourself and not seeming like a single on the prowl then the right girl will eventualy come to you.
(speaking from expirience)

 

[putter65]

I wanted a girlfriend when I was 16. So I have suffered 28 years of disapointments.

disappointments comes from high expectations. maybe if you lower expectations, or at least try to open yourself up to types of personalities that you may have not been interested in before.. maybe you will break the cycle of poor relationships?
but really, i think the key to meeting someone is to be aware, but not on the hunt.
the harder you try, the harder it is to attract the right person.
if you are approachable and pleasant while being yourself and not seeming like a single on the prowl then the right girl will eventualy come to you.
(speaking from expirience)

yes definately agree with the 'be aware, but not on the hunt' bit. That sort of sums me up at the moment.

When I was younger, I did make the mistake of only taking notice of girls I was interested in. I tended to ignore all the others and fixate on one particular girl. That was stupid and foolish.

 

[beermaestro]

I wanted a girlfriend when I was 16. So I have suffered 28 years of disapointments.

disappointments comes from high expectations. maybe if you lower expectations,

Lower his expectations? How much lower is he supposed to go? He's basically been a human doormat.

I usually lurk, but I've been following his posts because we are around the same age and facing the same predicament. I'm not a woman-hater but the fact is, there is a lot of bad behaviour by women that we alway mitigate or excuse because, after all, they're the 'fairer sex'. So, when we have expectations for at least a little honesty, are we setting our expectations too high?

but really, i think the key to meeting someone is to be aware, but not on the hunt.
the harder you try, the harder it is to attract the right person.
if you are approachable and pleasant while being yourself and not seeming like a single on the prowl then the right girl will eventualy come to you.
(speaking from expirience)

I've never understood what being 'myself' means, as if being myself is some mystical state we never quite attain, and thus that is why we never attract decent, reasonably attractive women. The fact is, being myself is being a constantly horny, "on the hunt", middle-aged heterosexual male. Sex is always, always on my radar, from the time I wake up, until I go to sleep, and in my dreams. So I guess I'm not truly being myself because I'm not sublimating my almost-feral sex drive until just the right moment, thus coming off as a creep or unattractive.

 

[Walley]

I wanted a girlfriend when I was 16. So I have suffered 28 years of disapointments.

disappointments comes from high expectations. maybe if you lower expectations,

Lower his expectations? How much lower is he supposed to go? He's basically been a human doormat.

I usually lurk, but I've been following his posts because we are around the same age and facing the same predicament. I'm not a woman-hater but the fact is, there is a lot of bad behaviour by women that we alway mitigate or excuse because, after all, they're the 'fairer sex'. So, when we have expectations for at least a little honesty, are we setting our expectations too high?

but really, i think the key to meeting someone is to be aware, but not on the hunt.
the harder you try, the harder it is to attract the right person.
if you are approachable and pleasant while being yourself and not seeming like a single on the prowl then the right girl will eventualy come to you.
(speaking from expirience)

I've never understood what being 'myself' means, as if being myself is some mystical state we never quite attain, and thus that is why we never attract decent, reasonably attractive women. The fact is, being myself is being a constantly horny, "on the hunt", middle-aged heterosexual male. Sex is always, always on my radar, from the time I wake up, until I go to sleep, and in my dreams. So I guess I'm not truly being myself because I'm not sublimating my almost-feral sex drive until just the right moment, thus coming off as a creep or unattractive.

to reply to your first comment.
what I mean by expectations wasnt by expecting to be treated right or expecting to have feelings reciprocated, but more talking to his expectations of the type of women he may go after. some people are just attracted to the wrong kind of people or ones that are not attracted to them. I had a friend like that who always seem to get crazy for models or girls way out of his l;eague, yet ignored and pushed away girls that he would have had a chance with (and they weren't bad either.. if you arent comparing them to Charlize Theron)

as for being yourself..
it may be that you are focused on your urges, but you can't always be like that right?
like when you might be with other male friends or family.. you arent focusing on pitching a tent 24/7 surely..
so THAT is the person you want to let shine.
take away all the sex drive. take away all the negative thoughts and/or needy feelings and what you are left with is.. yourself.

 

[putter65]

I wanted a girlfriend when I was 16. So I have suffered 28 years of disapointments.

disappointments comes from high expectations. maybe if you lower expectations,

Lower his expectations? How much lower is he supposed to go? He's basically been a human doormat.

I usually lurk, but I've been following his posts because we are around the same age and facing the same predicament. I'm not a woman-hater but the fact is, there is a lot of bad behaviour by women that we alway mitigate or excuse because, after all, they're the 'fairer sex'. So, when we have expectations for at least a little honesty, are we setting our expectations too high?

but really, i think the key to meeting someone is to be aware, but not on the hunt.
the harder you try, the harder it is to attract the right person.
if you are approachable and pleasant while being yourself and not seeming like a single on the prowl then the right girl will eventualy come to you.
(speaking from expirience)

I've never understood what being 'myself' means, as if being myself is some mystical state we never quite attain, and thus that is why we never attract decent, reasonably attractive women. The fact is, being myself is being a constantly horny, "on the hunt", middle-aged heterosexual male. Sex is always, always on my radar, from the time I wake up, until I go to sleep, and in my dreams. So I guess I'm not truly being myself because I'm not sublimating my almost-feral sex drive until just the right moment, thus coming off as a creep or unattractive.

to reply to your first comment.
what I mean by expectations wasnt by expecting to be treated right or expecting to have feelings reciprocated, but more talking to his expectations of the type of women he may go after. some people are just attracted to the wrong kind of people or ones that are not attracted to them. I had a friend like that who always seem to get crazy for models or girls way out of his l;eague, yet ignored and pushed away girls that he would have had a chance with (and they weren't bad either.. if you arent comparing them to Charlize Theron)

as for being yourself..
it may be that you are focused on your urges, but you can't always be like that right?
like when you might be with other male friends or family.. you arent focusing on pitching a tent 24/7 surely..
so THAT is the person you want to let shine.
take away all the sex drive. take away all the negative thoughts and/or needy feelings and what you are left with is.. yourself.

now were talking about 'leagues' - As I got older I did 'lower' my expentations. At first it was women I fancied, the pretty ones, the blond hair, blue eyed ones. When I got to 30, I had gone to women who looked liked they didn't get much attention from men. The shy ones, the ones who didn't get asked out. The ones who complained about being single. The ones who said they wished a man would ask them out for a date. Guess what ? These women rejected me as well !

One in particular at work, this single lass who I liked the look of. Nobody had a good word to say about her but I thought she was nice enough and may be a nice person behind all her front of frostiness and aloofness etc. I asked her out and she went nuts, reported me to the manager for harrassment and I had alot of explaining to do.

So you see I have tried lots of different types of women, I don't just shoot for the super models. I am in no one's league. That is the sad fact. Every woman I ask out is 'out of my league' - I try to keep positive and dress nice. One woman developed this crush on me years ago. She was alot older than me, had learning difficulties and was (according to everybody else) an utter ****, who would go with men (have sex !) in their cars in exchange for a lift home. So as you can imagine, I wasn't interested. There was another woman 10 years ago, who seemed to be a complete nutcase. She was again alot older than me and her personality was dreadfull. (She may have been on drugs !) - She had this crush for about a month until a workmate told her I was married. So I haven't been pushing women away. Some men have not much going for them for whatever reason. I am one of them.