Social Crisis

[geordy70]

Hello again forums, comming back again for a simpler problem, i hope.

People have been opening up to me and trying to befriend me recently, which actually came as an extremely huge shock because this is the first time in years that people started actually wanting to be friends with me.

The problem now is that im really scared to open up to anyone. Im a normally quiet person, and i am alone nearly all the time. I never express any emotion around anyone and just keep a blank face all the time. Im afraid that if these people see me for who i really am then they will be dissapointed and leave me all alone again.
Just today my emotions leaked a little during my Track and Field practice.

The only person i have ever been mad at in my life was myself, especially when i cant seem to do things right. I felt so weak during practice today, that i started getting frustrated and litterally beat myself up in public. Everyone saw me getting frustrated, especially the people who were trying to be my friend.

Since then i isolated myself because i was scared of what they would say to me. My coach and my sister said i was over reacting, which in my eyes makes me feel like i threw a temper tantrum. Now im even more scared because i must of looked like an anger management retarded child.

Im totally scared of what these people who finally are in my life think of me. What do i do? I dont want to lose the only people who have communicated with me

 

[Tiina63]

Hi geordy70, I am dealing with same issues right now. It is very difficult when you have been hiding your true self for so many years to suddenly find that you are starting to 'leak.' Are there any support groups you could join where you could start to say what you are really thinking and feeling in an accepting environment, where you could make friends with people who have similar difficulties? When I say 'support groups' please don't think that I am implying that you are strange or anything. It's just that it CAN be hard in western society to show true emotions and some people will recoil because they don't know how to handle it. I go to two groups, a reading group and a writing group, which are also support groups, and I know I can cry there if I need to without anyone condemning me. I also go to another couple of groups which are not support groups and I am far more 'unreal' there, because I feel I have to hide behind a mask. Hopefully one day I will be real there as well.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Why are you afraid to let people see who you really are?

Personally I think your coach and sister we being insensitive, which tends to happen. It might have been true in their eyes you were overreacting, maybe you were, but you were frustrated so to you it was normal reaction. What would have been nice if one of them took you aside and talked to you to understand why you were so frustrated.

It is scary to open up to people, but if you really want them to get to know the real you, you'll need to. Baby steps, not like you want to unleash the flood out all at once, right. By opening up you can learn which ones have more friend potential and you might be able to trust.

And like Tina suggested, if there are support groups around give them a try.

 

[geordy70]

Why are you afraid to let people see who you really are?

Personally I think your coach and sister we being insensitive, which tends to happen. It might have been true in their eyes you were overreacting, maybe you were, but you were frustrated so to you it was normal reaction. What would have been nice if one of them took you aside and talked to you to understand why you were so frustrated.

It is scary to open up to people, but if you really want them to get to know the real you, you'll need to. Baby steps, not like you want to unleash the flood out all at once, right. By opening up you can learn which ones have more friend potential and you might be able to trust.

And like Tina suggested, if there are support groups around give them a try.

Where do i find support groups? I'm not really sure where to look

 

[Tiina63]

I don't know where you live, so can only make general suggestions re finding support groups. Your local library or church may know of some. Also, if there is a mental health drop in centre in your town, they may either have a group you could join, or be able to give you information on a local group. Your doctor is another possible source of information.
The writing group I go to is at the local mental health drop in centre and my reading group is at the local library.

 

[Sci-Fi]

(lol) ^ What she said.

Sometimes you can find them in the yellow pages. In mine there is actually a stress management listing.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

You're not crazy, geordy. Just try to relax the next time you're in a social environment like that and breathe. Remember that these people are interested in getting to know you which likely indicates they accept you. So why stress out? Just be yourself, but stay calm and collect, and take that opportunity to make friends while it's still there. Good luck to you.