Stalking... when is too far, too far?

[TropicalStarfish]

Wow time moves fast. Imagine over a year later and I have an update on this situation!

So….

My stalker has left weird voicemails but they are way less frequent than they were when I first made this post. However he left me a very bone chilling weird voicemail earlier this week… telling me he’s reported me to a bank I use and just went into a few days prior. This is just messing with me. Is it a good guess or he wants me to know he’s watching?

I was invited in branch to sign some documents and a few days after he voicemails me saying he’s reported me to that exact bank. Told them he gave me his card details… (obviously he has not)

I hate being me, whyyy do I attract these creeps constantly now I have to do things I dont wanna do.

Well, seems the proper course of action would be to file a report with the authorities.

Another option is to hire a private detective and find out everything there is to know about the person, and then file a restraining order, let them hang themselves if that's what they want to do (assuming one can afford to do this).

Tough situation.

I think anonymity and privacy, is, an important thing people should not only know how to preserve, but desire to preserve. Society these days is atrocious. People put family photos on the internet, their own pictures, their full names, and more, right out there for everyone to see. I think that's foolish.

If one is famous, they are famous, so, a certain amount of info will be out there; but, even then, there are plenty of famous people who manage to stay out of the spotlight, becuase they actually don't want to be in it, anymore than they have to.

You can't let people play on your mind like that. That's 90-99% of the battle right there. Get them out of your head, and keep them out, and you've already won. The rest is just the unfortunate inconvenience they place upon you. But, that's part of life, sometimes; people inconveniencing us to varying degrees... To put it one way.

Well wishes..

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I hate being me, too.
Why am I not dead yet from alcohol poisoning or cirrhosis of the liver???
Anyways... know the feeling...I hate being me...

Try making ginger and pineapple smoothies, its good for your fertility and you’ll feel healthier than the alcohol be kind to yourself

Well, seems the proper course of action would be to file a report with the authorities.

Another option is to hire a private detective and find out everything there is to know about the person, and then file a restraining order, let them hang themselves if that's what they want to do (assuming one can afford to do this).

Tough situation.

I think anonymity and privacy, is, an important thing people should not only know how to preserve, but desire to preserve. Society these days is atrocious. People put family photos on the internet, their own pictures, their full names, and more, right out there for everyone to see. I think that's foolish.

If one is famous, they are famous, so, a certain amount of info will be out there; but, even then, there are plenty of famous people who manage to stay out of the spotlight, becuase they actually don't want to be in it, anymore than they have to.

You can't let people play on your mind like that. That's 90-99% of the battle right there. Get them out of your head, and keep them out, and you've already won. The rest is just the unfortunate inconvenience they place upon you. But, that's part of life, sometimes; people inconveniencing us to varying degrees... To put it one way.

Well wishes..

ugh honestly I agree, I trusted this person way too much, I treated him differently because he told me he’s disabled and look where that got me we were really good friends and he would send me songs and I would dance to them and you know just light hearted stuff. We stopped talking because he insisted he wanted my address and it all became a bit creepy.

Yeah now I have to report him to the police as my safety feels compromised. I no longer feel sorry for him, I have made peace with whatever trouble he may get in. The whole situation is annoying

 

[Cherubino]

I am (silently) stalked right on this site by a Romanian psychopath and you guys from the advanced world are so lucky that these issues like bullying, harassment, stalking are addressed even by the law in real life ... e.g. believe me or not in my country you are bullied for being disabled and celibate on a site dedicated to disabled, celibate persons and all without any intervention from the admin

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I am (silently) stalked right on this site by a Romanian psychopath and you guys from the advanced world are so lucky that these issues like bullying, harassment, stalking are addressed even by the law in real life ... e.g. believe me or not in my country you are bullied for being disabled and celibate on a site dedicated to disabled, celibate persons and all without any intervention from the admin

awful! And addressed by law is laughable they barely do anything

 

[Cherubino]

awful! And addressed by law is laughable they barely do anything

at least it means the issue is acknowledged by the society ... and being able to just expose the evil in its naked hideousness is a giant leap forward

 

[Kar]

I've had two stalkers. Very creepy and clingy. What makes it challenging is the more you push them away, the more desperate they become to be connected with you.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I've had two stalkers. Very creepy and clingy. What makes it challenging is the more you push them away, the more desperate they become to be connected with you.

Ughh you know its like, mine back off but every now and then dip back into my life to terrorise me and slip away back into the darkness sorry this happened to you, must be awkward

 

[Kar]

Ughh you know its like, mine back off but every now and then dip back into my life to terrorise me and slip away back into the darkness sorry this happened to you, must be awkward

It's more than awkward, it's scary. They are unstable. One of mine had lots of mental issues, jail time, etc., and not sure where the limit is to their madness. I think what people don't understand is it's not at all flattering, it's very unstable, scary, and violating.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It's more than awkward, it's scary. They are unstable. One of mine had lots of mental issues, jail time, etc., and not sure where the limit is to their madness. I think what people don't understand is it's not at all flattering, it's very unstable, scary, and violating.

This is so true I think they know its not flattering though… they know they are being a total weirdo

 

[user 188685]

Never. Trust. The. Internet. Ever.
I'd follow U-122's advice to a tee. Also, might be a good idea never to give out your number unless it's someone you actually know and...want to get stalked by.

I agree,there can be a lot of dangerous and fake people on the internet.

 

[user 188685]

This was not online but I have been stalked before,when I was younger.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Perpetual harassment is never fun.
And I'm reasonably sure it doesn't take the entire toolkit of social skills to be able to deduce when you're making another person uncomfortable.

Online stalking is frustrating. It's easier to manage and deal with than IRL stalking, but it's still equally frustrating. It's frustrating because it requires less physical effort so therefore the repetition and repeat occurrences happen more frequently. On the general whole, if someone is too aggressively relentless online, that's usually not a good sign about their mental health and that in its own is a red flag flying around enough to attract even Taurus himself. Online stalking is also not to be underestimated, either. In this modern world where people pay all of their bills online and have online businesses as their primary sources of income, yes, online stalking can indeed destroy a person's life as well.

IRL stalking is much more alarming as it can pose an immediate threat to your actual physical well-being and health. Thankfully, I've only ever had to deal with that once or twice. In both instances, I had to get the police involved. Don't be stupid, is the takeaway. Protect yourself, yes, but always get the police involved first so that you have a built-up case of legal documentation should anything result in the requirement of going to court.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Perpetual harassment is never fun.
And I'm reasonably sure it doesn't take the entire toolkit of social skills to be able to deduce when you're making another person uncomfortable.

Online stalking is frustrating. It's easier to manage and deal with than IRL stalking, but it's still equally frustrating. It's frustrating because it requires less physical effort so therefore the repetition and repeat occurrences happen more frequently. On the general whole, if someone is too aggressively relentless online, that's usually not a good sign about their mental health and that in its own is a red flag flying around enough to attract even Taurus himself. Online stalking is also not to be underestimated, either. In this modern world where people pay all of their bills online and have online businesses as their primary sources of income, yes, online stalking can indeed destroy a person's life as well.

IRL stalking is much more alarming as it can pose an immediate threat to your actual physical well-being and health. Thankfully, I've only ever had to deal with that once or twice. In both instances, I had to get the police involved. Don't be stupid, is the takeaway. Protect yourself, yes, but always get the police involved first so that you have a built-up case of legal documentation should anything result in the requirement of going to court.

Yeah the thing is when I was stalked IRL it was wayyyyy easier to deal with. I knew the guy, could easily report. The bloody internet stalkers are like stranger danger. I’ve had pictures of myself sent to me… ugly ones! lol and voicemails about banks I’ve just been in… so its like im just fed up.

 

[sub5male]

I guess that's the one benefit about being so physically repulsive as sub5 men never have to worry about being stalked or pursued on any level so we have that going for us, which is nice.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I guess that's the one benefit about being so physically repulsive as sub5 men never have to worry about being stalked or pursued on any level so we have that going for us, which is nice.

I never knew that, thought it could happen to anyone. Do you think maybe you are intimidating ?

 

[TheRealCallie]

thought it could happen to anyone.

It can and does.....

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It can and does.....

Yeah, deffo happens to everyone, but I mean I dont know many men who have suffered with stalking in general. But they said they should count girlfriends tracking their phones as stalking too so that might bump the number up

 

[Kar]

Yeah the thing is when I was stalked IRL it was wayyyyy easier to deal with. I knew the guy, could easily report. The bloody internet stalkers are like stranger danger. I’ve had pictures of myself sent to me… ugly ones! lol and voicemails about banks I’ve just been in… so its like im just fed up.

Yikes that's very scary! How did they track you down? Did you know them online or were they complete strangers? That would be very unsettling if someone I never knew or met sent me pictures that were me IRL.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Yikes that's very scary! How did they track you down? Did you know them online or were they complete strangers? That would be very unsettling if someone I never knew or met sent me pictures that were me IRL.

Nooo like literally no total strangers, the only thing is, where one met me most of the active users knew me irl as we attended this group therapy for anxiety together.

 

[sub5male]

I never knew that, thought it could happen to anyone. Do you think maybe you are intimidating ?

No-just far too unattractive for women to be interested at all let alone on the obsessed, stalking level. From my experience stalking only happens to women & attractive men