the ugly friend

[Sanja]

Hi, everybody!
I'm new here, but I've been reading the threads for a while now.
I'm a 22 year old girl and there is something I would really like to get off my chest - I seriously hate being the ugly friend!
I'm not even that bad-looking, but most of my female friends (I have some 5-6 of them) are absolutely gorgeous, some are model-material. I can't really take it against them, and they are all lovely people (that's why I choose to be friends with them), but it can be depressing. And it's killing my self-esteem. I've found recently that I avoid going with them to clubs, because all it comes down to there is checking other people out and flirting (and dancing provocatively of course, but in such company I can't feel that anyone wants to see me dance in such a fashion, so I just feel awkward).
I wonder if anyone can relate to this....

cheers,
Sanja

 

[lonelyloser]

I know what you mean. Post some pictures of your friends and we will decide whether you have reason to feel insecure.

 

[Presence]

You could always take up dance lessons, you don't have to tell your friends either, it will help you meet new people and get you physical and make you the sexist girl on the dance floor.

 

[Qui]

lol. I'm the chick friend. That's pretty awkward too. All my friends girlfriends are jealous of me and no matter what I say they think there is something going on between me and whoever. That sucks. And all the guys quote Eurotrip to say that I'm just a cool guy with long hair... That doesn't help much. It sucks being a girl and being "one of the guys". But yes, I can also relate to being the ugly friend... I used to hand with a bunch of highly intellectual and very pretty girls where as I am fairly intellectual I am not pretty and I'm also tall which makes everything more complicated... And I can be shy sometimes. So yup, I know what you mean and it sucks.

 

[Arianna]

Hi, everybody!
I'm new here, but I've been reading the threads for a while now.
I'm a 22 year old girl and there is something I would really like to get off my chest - I seriously hate being the ugly friend!
I'm not even that bad-looking, but most of my female friends (I have some 5-6 of them) are absolutely gorgeous, some are model-material. I can't really take it against them, and they are all lovely people (that's why I choose to be friends with them), but it can be depressing. And it's killing my self-esteem. I've found recently that I avoid going with them to clubs, because all it comes down to there is checking other people out and flirting (and dancing provocatively of course, but in such company I can't feel that anyone wants to see me dance in such a fashion, so I just feel awkward).
I wonder if anyone can relate to this....

cheers,
Sanja

1. Anybody that basis their opinion about you on just your looks..is not worth having. Kick 'em to the curb..as we say in N.C.
2. Act confidently..and smile. You'll be amazed what happens.
3. If possible...treat yourself to a new 'look'..like a new haircut that
becomes you. Do it for yourself...not for others.
4. You never said if nobody danced with you..you just said that you thought people wouldn't want to see you dance in that fashion. The heck with other people..dance the way you want to!
6. Coming from a girl that was made fun of for the way she looked for years..I learned one thing. LOVE YOURSELF MORE!!

 

[NewBirth]

i want 2c the friends 2 LoL

 

[mink]

Hi Sanja, welcome

 

[Bluey]

Hi, Sanja and welcome.

I can relate to that. I am not ugly I would say but I haven't got the perfect body as its slightly deformed.

I also have done my far Sher of clubbing and with out much look on the getting a girl All my mates seem to have no problems with it tho. I have lets say got off a few times lol But You can be to good looking you know. I think its all about confidence. Like I know some guys that I would say are real good looking but well not approach a girl cos the think they wont stand a chance. I my self do look at girls and think err there no way she is ever going to look at me twice. I have one mate that never fails when hes out and he is differently nothing special and I would say that am a much bigger Cathe but I never go up to girls he dose and that's why he always pulls. If a really good looking girl come up to me and started talking I would be so intimidated. But at the same time love it of course lol

Don't think what your friends are doing. Be your own person and try and not hang in groups with you in the middle of all your friends. That way you leave your self moor open for say a guy like me to come over and start charting. Lads get embarrassed to you know and most lads I know would certainly not wont to take any chances in there pride getting hurt and be knocked back. So I think if your not quite as good looking as your friends and your moor of a normal girl then that most definitely can be worked to your advantage.

Also I know of one girl from when I was at school and she was like ext=re good looking and no one ever asked her out cos no one thought they would stand a chance. She got asked out by a guy that most thought was fat and not the greatest guy in the world and know there marred. She said yes cos finally some one did ask and the guy is a good person just not the best looker. I cent tell you how many lads at the time was kicking them self for not asking her be for he did. This I think is a good story and should teach us something about how looks don't really matter. Its all about the person and the older you get the less looks mater.

Hi, everybody!
I'm new here, but I've been reading the threads for a while now.
I'm a 22 year old girl and there is something I would really like to get off my chest - I seriously hate being the ugly friend!
I'm not even that bad-looking, but most of my female friends (I have some 5-6 of them) are absolutely gorgeous, some are model-material. I can't really take it against them, and they are all lovely people (that's why I choose to be friends with them), but it can be depressing. And it's killing my self-esteem. I've found recently that I avoid going with them to clubs, because all it comes down to there is checking other people out and flirting (and dancing provocatively of course, but in such company I can't feel that anyone wants to see me dance in such a fashion, so I just feel awkward).
I wonder if anyone can relate to this....

cheers,
Sanja

 

[mimi38]

i think self confidence plays a big role in the dating department,,,,my best friend is a bit overweight like me,,and we are not knock outs but we doo turn heads occasionally,,,,,she gets much more attention then i do though,,,cause she has what i am missing,,,the self confidence and that is the key i think...

oh and if you guys want to know,,,theres this guy that i know,,,man he is ugly,,,but all the girls i know absolutely love him,,,i do too actually

so the thing is be confident and you will come out a winner,,,,oh i know its easier said then done,,,i haven't got there yet

 

[Sanja]

Wow, thank you, everyone!

It's been great to hear your experiences and advice. I mean, I know nothing will change in an instant, but you did give me some food for thought.

And, of course, I will not post my friends' pictures on the internet

 

[broken_girl]

I used to hang out with my cousin when we were like 16/17. Every time a hot guy would look in our direction she would always yell "Ooh, he's checking me out!"
I don't think I'm that great looking, but it was so rude of her to assume that only she was worthy of being looked at. It made me feel awful. Plus, she was way more outspoken than me so even if they weren't interested in her, she'd but into the conversation to get their attention.

Now she's way overweight, loud and obnoxious & I haven't seen a guy look in her direction in years. Karma......

 

[Bluey]

That dose sound like karma sounds like your cousin was and still is a bit to full of her self. maybe that's just a cover for how she actually feels inside?

 

[LostButton]

wow, I read what you put and its almost exactly what I feel when I'm with my friends. And from what I can see, we're not alone here.
I have a friend that is ACTUALLY a model so walking next to her makes me feel a little self conscious. Whats important to remember is that we cant all be super models (besides that, I think most men like women with breasts, lol). Don't get to down about the men at clubs because chances are, you're not gonna find your soulmate getting hammered at a bar and grinding you on a dance floor.

 

[SophiaGrace]

ugliness. Hmn there is beauty and potential in everything so that word...it shouldnt even exist.

dumb word-maker-uppers got it all wrong!

 

[Paradiddle]

Well at least you can appear the most unique, that alone can get you a big attention boost in a group and it's not like every guy is craving for a model, in fact it can be a kind of a turn off, trust me, we see hot models all over everything and everywhere, but its mainly just advertisements, industries, and exploitation and it can get boring. and what kind of guy goes into a relationship with a girl who can get any guy she wants, its just a recipe for suspicion and infidelity. If you are interested in real relationships (not just physical), then you should be glad to know that every guy who comes up to you isn't just looking for a good time that he can brag about to his other identical guy friends later. Just be confident, and do what you really want.

 

[MountainTop]

Hi, everybody!
I'm new here, but I've been reading the threads for a while now.
I'm a 22 year old girl and there is something I would really like to get off my chest - I seriously hate being the ugly friend!
I'm not even that bad-looking, but most of my female friends (I have some 5-6 of them) are absolutely gorgeous, some are model-material. I can't really take it against them, and they are all lovely people (that's why I choose to be friends with them), but it can be depressing. And it's killing my self-esteem. I've found recently that I avoid going with them to clubs, because all it comes down to there is checking other people out and flirting (and dancing provocatively of course, but in such company I can't feel that anyone wants to see me dance in such a fashion, so I just feel awkward).
I wonder if anyone can relate to this....

cheers,
Sanja

I have it backwards but the same.... My friends, which are really just acquaintances not real friends, are the less attractive ones, but i'm still ALWAYS the odd man out. they dance, have fun and flirt with women, while im alone, because chicks just blow me off, just wondering what in the heck is up with the world. No i'm not stuck up, its just the truth. my buddies are mostly under the 5'11" category, im 6'2", they are all either very thin or kinda flabby looking, and i'm football player muscular.... Its weird.. maybe it's my glasses? Or maybe it's that I have a spanish accent and people really dont like that...

 

[LUCK]

Hi, everybody!
I'm new here, but I've been reading the threads for a while now.
I'm a 22 year old girl and there is something I would really like to get off my chest - I seriously hate being the ugly friend!
I'm not even that bad-looking, but most of my female friends (I have some 5-6 of them) are absolutely gorgeous, some are model-material. I can't really take it against them, and they are all lovely people (that's why I choose to be friends with them), but it can be depressing. And it's killing my self-esteem. I've found recently that I avoid going with them to clubs, because all it comes down to there is checking other people out and flirting (and dancing provocatively of course, but in such company I can't feel that anyone wants to see me dance in such a fashion, so I just feel awkward).
I wonder if anyone can relate to this....

cheers,
Sanja

I can't relate, because my friend is only a bit more attractive than me, but he doesn't get any female attention either way.

But all I can suggest to you - get fit and get plastic surgery.

There are no other ways.

Make up can help, but people will see you are hiding your deficient face structure.

 

[Callie]

Hi, everybody!
I'm new here, but I've been reading the threads for a while now.
I'm a 22 year old girl and there is something I would really like to get off my chest - I seriously hate being the ugly friend!
I'm not even that bad-looking, but most of my female friends (I have some 5-6 of them) are absolutely gorgeous, some are model-material. I can't really take it against them, and they are all lovely people (that's why I choose to be friends with them), but it can be depressing. And it's killing my self-esteem. I've found recently that I avoid going with them to clubs, because all it comes down to there is checking other people out and flirting (and dancing provocatively of course, but in such company I can't feel that anyone wants to see me dance in such a fashion, so I just feel awkward).
I wonder if anyone can relate to this....

cheers,
Sanja

I can't relate, because my friend is only a bit more attractive than me, but he doesn't get any female attention either way.

But all I can suggest to you - get fit and get plastic surgery.

There are no other ways.

Make up can help, but people will see you are hiding your deficient face structure.

Yes, don't HIDE, just get surgery and be a complete fake