Lucylou
Member
Hi everyone. I'm new here, signed up not long ago but have just been reading posts for a few days. I have already felt such a sense of relief knowing as I read the stories that I am not alone out here. I'm a 54 year old single female living close to Charleston, SC. All of my life I've felt like I am the odd person out, never having any friends and having such low self esteem any man that paid any attention I clung onto even though they always mistreated me, but I guess in my mind any attention was better than none. I have been married 3 times, my last husband passed away over a year ago and not to sound callous but I didn't shed a tear. His own daughter told me she was glad he was dead so he couldn't hurt anyone else, profound. I had a nervous breakdown 5 years ago and ended up losing my business which should have been my retirement, so I had to start over again broke, ashamed of myself and isolated from my family because I'm the "crazy." In my family you never let anyone on the outside know what's going on in the inside. My only child, a son 26 years old, no longer speaks to me because he doesn't think mental illness is a real thing and I just make him angry. I suffer from social anxiety and depression. The only thing that keeps me from driving my car into the lake sometimes are my 2 rescue dogs Lucy and Josie who I know if I weren't here no one would love them like I do. The real reason I haven't posted yet is the fear that no one out there will even respond but since reading along it seems there are some really great people here. Thanks for reading and being here!
