Time running out on finding the one?

[ardour]

I'm still (relatively?) young, but I imagine there are still pickings in the 30's, 40's, and 50's onward. Many people will have had serious relationships or a marriage before, is all, but the first one they chose won't necessarily last and they'll look for someone who's a better match or just plain better to them.

That's the problem though isn't it, the difference in experience, and the fact that you're possibly not their first choice, second or third choice.. Nobody wants to be the 'fall back', "if no-one better has come along by age__" person.

 

[Tealeaf]

I'm still (relatively?) young, but I imagine there are still pickings in the 30's, 40's, and 50's onward. Many people will have had serious relationships or a marriage before, is all, but the first one they chose won't necessarily last and they'll look for someone who's a better match or just plain better to them.

That's the problem though isn't it, the difference in experience, and the fact that you're possibly not their first choice, second or third choice.. Nobody wants to be the 'fall back', "if no-one better has come along by age__" person.

Not necessarily. I imagine people who've been married or have raised children have massively different life experiences from those who haven't, but it's not like the ones who haven't are doing jack **** in terms of personal development.

There's no accounting for how experienced the ones leaving their long-term arrangements are, either, the years they spent with their spouse or significant other aside. My mother married the first man she seriously dated, for example, but down the road she was still a divorced woman in her 40's. I guess that comes down to what counts for experience... time or number? The gap would be larger between some people than others.

People have fallbacks that in their teens and 20's, too, so it's something for all ages to be wary of. In fact, it's a common complaint in some circles online...

 

[Alonewith2cats]

Is it possible to find friendship later in life? If the answer is yes, then it's possible to find love. I think making friends is the beginning and a love connection would be something that can happen naturally between two people. Age is just a number, if you're not done living then you're not done.

 

[Peaches]

Has anyone here found love late in life?

I recently met one of my friend's uncles. He is in his 60s, is a Vietnam vet, and has always been a hard man to deal with. Then, he met a woman who is also in her 60s, and my friend's uncle is so much in love with this woman that he has turned into a softy. They are such a lovely pair, and it was great seeing how much they love each other.

I told them that if they can find each other and be so much in love, it gives me a massive amount of hope for myself.

mmm, ok, let's go with first hand knowledge:

this guy I know, at some point they even set me up to go out with him but there was zero sparkle, at age maybe 54 he found this woman of similar age, they have the same smile it's freaky, and for three years now he posts all the time pictures of them doing things and being happy, I guess he found love, good for him.
My uncle was a likable guy and handsome too, but after his divorce he didn't see anyone for maybe eight years, and he was nearing 60. One day in the doctors office he happened to feel this irresistible urge to pick up a newspaper and read the dating section, and he got really lucky, with an adorable chubby 50+ lady with three children in another country - they got married and were very happy for some years until he passed away.

 

[Alma lost her spoon]

I'm 43, only fairly recently I found potentially 'the one' but have had to let him go.

It has brought me to understand that I would sooner spend the rest of my life alone than to be with the wrong person.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I don't even try to find love any more. Nobody is ever interested in a fat pig like me with no job and no money. People often say I look fine - Funny how those people are always in a relationship or live in another country! No single woman would dare compliment me just in case I asked to meet them. Not that I would meet them, as then they'd find out how pathetic my life is and would run a mile. People say, "I'm sure there's someone out there for you". Yea, right, they've been saying that for years. So I just don't bother looking any more and know I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I can't even find local friends less than 60 years old for goodness sake.

that's all fine but you shouldn't give up on life.
What about losing some weight ?
Finding work ?
Earning some cash and spending it on yourself.
There is so much to do and so much to see !

You make it sound so simple. Don't you think I try every day to lose weight and that most my life is spent thinking about how to get a job and earn money? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but it's very irritating when I talk about my problems and people suggest I do the obvious, as if I wouldn't think of those things. We don't all find life so simple I'm afraid.

Small steps every day, little things to improve your life.
If you want friends or people to like you. Take a step back and think 'will they like me as I am ?'

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I don't even try to find love any more. Nobody is ever interested in a fat pig like me with no job and no money. People often say I look fine - Funny how those people are always in a relationship or live in another country! No single woman would dare compliment me just in case I asked to meet them. Not that I would meet them, as then they'd find out how pathetic my life is and would run a mile. People say, "I'm sure there's someone out there for you". Yea, right, they've been saying that for years. So I just don't bother looking any more and know I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I can't even find local friends less than 60 years old for goodness sake.

that's all fine but you shouldn't give up on life.
What about losing some weight ?
Finding work ?
Earning some cash and spending it on yourself.
There is so much to do and so much to see !

You make it sound so simple. Don't you think I try every day to lose weight and that most my life is spent thinking about how to get a job and earn money? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but it's very irritating when I talk about my problems and people suggest I do the obvious, as if I wouldn't think of those things. We don't all find life so simple I'm afraid.

I was down all the way thru my twenties. I spent 11 years or so fed up. I know what it's like.