Time when you dont care about loneliness

[TheSkaFish]

That's true. It's not worth putting in effort in maintaining relationships with people that don't add value to your life, or even make it unpleasant.

^This. I have a very hard time finding people that I would actually like to get to know or hang out with. I've had to stop hanging out with some people before because I wasn't satisfied with the direction that things were going, it just wasn't stimulating enough for me, wasn't giving me the thoughts and feelings I was looking for, and I didn't want to be in the same lifestyle as that group. Not even being elitist or anything...it's more like, it's hard to find people that talk about things I want to talk about, or do things I want to do, or just have this quality to them that makes them endearing. It's hard for me to find people that make me want to know more about them or see where a conversation with them could go. Most people seem "just OK" - not awful, but not great either - they don't make me think or feel too much either way.

The flipside is I'm never enough for those who DO make me think and feel. I feel like I slip through the cracks.

---

As far as times go where I don't care about loneliness, I'd say there's hardly any. I always thought this singledom would just end someday, and I just had to wait...but it hasn't ended, or even given me any indication that it will end, or when that would happen. The longer it goes without any sign of ending (other than with the end of my life) the more impatient I get, the more worried I am that I'll never escape and finally know what it feels like to beat this, to be free of it.

The best I can do to not care about loneliness is watch TV and movies, or drink. That's really all that works for me.

 

[Alyosha]

I have a very hard time finding people that I would actually like to get to know or hang out with.  I've had to stop hanging out with some people before because I wasn't satisfied with the direction that things were going, it just wasn't stimulating enough for me, wasn't giving me the thoughts and feelings I was looking for, and I didn't want to be in the same lifestyle as that group.  Not even being elitist or anything...it's more like, it's hard to find people that talk about things I want to talk about, or do things I want to do, or just have this quality to them that makes them endearing.  It's hard for me to find people that make me want to know more about them or see where a conversation with them could go.  Most people seem "just OK" - not awful, but not great either - they don't make me think or feel too much either way. 

I might be able to relate.  Conversation with so many of the people around me on a daily basis feels unnatural and uncomfortable, like we're not on the same wavelength at all, and I try to avoid such awkward situations.  Frankly, I don't like small talk.  I hate shticks and fronts.  I do my best to remain detached from such nonsense.  Like you, I don't want to come off as elitist, and I'm aware that I may.  But I'm just trying to be as honest as I can about the way in which I perceive things, the reasons why I frequently bear a demeanor that many would consider unsocial.

For a time, I was fortunate enough to have people around me I truly did connect with.  The appreciation and fondness were mutual.  But of course the circumstances of life tend to scatter even the best of groups.  Still, it gives me hope that I can eventually find additional quality connections. 

And I hope you find those sorts of connections too.  Maybe there are pursuits you can undertake involving your interests that can help you cross paths with likeminded people.

 

[MrBurns666]

Alyosha, I want a girl of my dreams to have coffee with me every morning.

 

[Finished]

^ She's in one of the other dimensions wondering why the hell the guy that looks like you is treating her like ****. One of us needs to build a worm hole device so we can make it to the dimensions we are supposed to be in. It's damn sure not this one.

 

[Myra]

Alyosha, I want a girl of my dreams to have coffee with me every morning.

It would get boring soon. Humans always want more.

 

[MrBurns666]

Alyosha, I want a girl of my dreams to have coffee with me every morning.

It would get boring soon. Humans always want more.

Myra, you dont know how pleasant and relaxing it is to spend time with a soulmate who you love and care about.

 

[Myra]

There are no soulmates, Burns.

 

[Finished]

There are no soulmates, Burns.

How dare you say that!!!!! Every time someone says that another heart is destroyed and lives are ruined!!!!

 

[MrBurns666]

I had a soul mate, she visited Israel from US for a short time. Her name was Molly.
I fell in love with her and everything about her.

When I think of her, I feel that I am inside a dream. A dream where there is so much peace and comfort.

 

[Myra]

Maybe you can communicate telepathically with her in your dreams. Have you tried it?

 

[MrBurns666]

Maybe you can communicate telepathically with her in your dreams. Have you tried it?

Just before I die and black out (most probably at the end of my killing spree), I want to remember her talking to me like when we met on the first day.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Maybe you can communicate telepathically with her in your dreams. Have you tried it?

Just before I die and black out (most probably at the end of my killing spree), I want to remember her talking to me like when we met on the first day.

I don't care if this is a fantasy of yours or not talking about killing people is not acceptable, period.  It is sick and you need serious help.  Seeing as you are not taking this seriously and this is the third time you've mentioned it here, you are done.

 

[WanderingInTheWoods]

Maybe you can communicate telepathically with her in your dreams. Have you tried it?

Just before I die and black out (most probably at the end of my killing spree), I want to remember her talking to me like when we met on the first day.

I don't care if this is a fantasy of yours or not talking about killing people is not acceptable, period.  It is sick and you need serious help.  Seeing as you are not taking this seriously and this is the third time you've mentioned it here, you are done.

I'm glad you took care of that, it's very toxic, especially when people are talking like that.