TropicalStarfish
Well-known member
Alright, I suppose maybe this will help some one some day.
A simple and often overlooked fact of life is the following: people want what they don't have.
Straight haired people want curly hair. Curly haired people want straight hair. The rich say: "More money more probems." The poor say: "If I was a rich man, all day long I'd biddy biddy bum." You get the point.
Now, consider some one who is single. Most people tend to look at it from the angle of: "I must be missing something."
I don't make enough money.
I'm not attractive enough.
I'm not a doctor or a lawyer or whatever.
Maybe the problem of your singledom, is simply that you are... single! You could be single, because you are single.
Now if you have a friend, or have the means to pay, you could have some one be your, 'fictitious significant other / fictitious boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever.'
People want what they don't have. And people tend to assess others by association.
You become acquainted with some one who is famous: bingo, by association, you become a bit famous.
You know some one who is wealthy: bingo, by association, you can find yourself in some high-society places/circles.
I see a lot of guys in this forum that spin themselves in circles, trying to think, their way out of a problem. Well, as a thinker myself, I can tell you, sometimes the simple but clever solution will elude even the most stoic, hardy, and fiercly intellectual minds.
Why? Because a hammer is good for hammering nails, but not much else.
Clever people are different than intelligent people. A clever person sees a long line to a restaurant and a 50 minute wait to sit down, and thinks to themselves: "I can offer the hostess a $20 dollar bill to seat me immediately, if I do it when no one is looking." Bingo, a 50 minute wait, turns into being seated immediately, and if you are with some one, it's likely they will be impressed as well.
An intelligent person sees a problem like that and parses it out mechanically: A: I can wait if it's worth it, B: I can leave if it's not. Then they can judge those two variables against the weights, and make a decision (assuming they aren't terrible at making decisions). They'll either leave for some other joint, or wait the 50 or so minutes.
Now, a clever person can get themselves into different kinds of trouble than the kinds of trouble a thinker might, but, that's a whole different digression. Back to the point.
So, one unconventional way to attract a mate is to: make yourself appear to be taken.
Getting yourself a semi-long-term fake boyfriend or girlfriend has several advantages.
1: the first is obviously you are now something others don't have: taken (or at least on superficial scrutiny, you appear to be taken). And people often tend to want what they don't have. You have something new about you that is attractive now.
2: whether be it by money, or through friendship, you have some one to go on dates with, talk to, and get to know, simply as a person: practice with being out and about and socializing. Bingo again, a regular, no pressure, way to go out, and practice those possibly atrophied social skills, as well as a way to get to know some one besides yourself and stimulate new neural pathways.
3: visibility: you are spending time with some one who likely spends time with other people, and you are in public spaces with the chance to meet other people. You have the chance to enlarge your world here, and assuming you are judicious in who you associate with, you could meet some new people who could be anything from interesting, to a boon and asset to your interests.
4: two heads are somtimes better than one: You'll be out and about spending time with some one else who thinks differently, has different experiences in life, and if they are worth spending time with at all, and a decent person, may be capable of offering different points of view, advice, possess different experiential wisdom, or simply has opinions that differ for interesting reasons.
So, that's my unconventional idea on how to attract a mate.
So , what's your unconventional idea to attract a mate?
I had (nm'd) this post, but apparently some people can't leave well enough alone!
A simple and often overlooked fact of life is the following: people want what they don't have.
Straight haired people want curly hair. Curly haired people want straight hair. The rich say: "More money more probems." The poor say: "If I was a rich man, all day long I'd biddy biddy bum." You get the point.
Now, consider some one who is single. Most people tend to look at it from the angle of: "I must be missing something."
I don't make enough money.
I'm not attractive enough.
I'm not a doctor or a lawyer or whatever.
Maybe the problem of your singledom, is simply that you are... single! You could be single, because you are single.
Now if you have a friend, or have the means to pay, you could have some one be your, 'fictitious significant other / fictitious boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever.'
People want what they don't have. And people tend to assess others by association.
You become acquainted with some one who is famous: bingo, by association, you become a bit famous.
You know some one who is wealthy: bingo, by association, you can find yourself in some high-society places/circles.
I see a lot of guys in this forum that spin themselves in circles, trying to think, their way out of a problem. Well, as a thinker myself, I can tell you, sometimes the simple but clever solution will elude even the most stoic, hardy, and fiercly intellectual minds.
Why? Because a hammer is good for hammering nails, but not much else.
Clever people are different than intelligent people. A clever person sees a long line to a restaurant and a 50 minute wait to sit down, and thinks to themselves: "I can offer the hostess a $20 dollar bill to seat me immediately, if I do it when no one is looking." Bingo, a 50 minute wait, turns into being seated immediately, and if you are with some one, it's likely they will be impressed as well.
An intelligent person sees a problem like that and parses it out mechanically: A: I can wait if it's worth it, B: I can leave if it's not. Then they can judge those two variables against the weights, and make a decision (assuming they aren't terrible at making decisions). They'll either leave for some other joint, or wait the 50 or so minutes.
Now, a clever person can get themselves into different kinds of trouble than the kinds of trouble a thinker might, but, that's a whole different digression. Back to the point.
So, one unconventional way to attract a mate is to: make yourself appear to be taken.
Getting yourself a semi-long-term fake boyfriend or girlfriend has several advantages.
1: the first is obviously you are now something others don't have: taken (or at least on superficial scrutiny, you appear to be taken). And people often tend to want what they don't have. You have something new about you that is attractive now.
2: whether be it by money, or through friendship, you have some one to go on dates with, talk to, and get to know, simply as a person: practice with being out and about and socializing. Bingo again, a regular, no pressure, way to go out, and practice those possibly atrophied social skills, as well as a way to get to know some one besides yourself and stimulate new neural pathways.
3: visibility: you are spending time with some one who likely spends time with other people, and you are in public spaces with the chance to meet other people. You have the chance to enlarge your world here, and assuming you are judicious in who you associate with, you could meet some new people who could be anything from interesting, to a boon and asset to your interests.
4: two heads are somtimes better than one: You'll be out and about spending time with some one else who thinks differently, has different experiences in life, and if they are worth spending time with at all, and a decent person, may be capable of offering different points of view, advice, possess different experiential wisdom, or simply has opinions that differ for interesting reasons.
So, that's my unconventional idea on how to attract a mate.
So , what's your unconventional idea to attract a mate?
I had (nm'd) this post, but apparently some people can't leave well enough alone!
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