Valentine's Day is starting to bring the monster out....

[Finished]

To be honest we use people all the time without realizing it. I'm using all of you to make myself feel like I have other humans to interact with. If I had people IRL to interact with I probably wouldn't be on this site. I would be interacting with them instead.

Many people actually like to take others to lunch or dinner so they don't have to dine alone. Co-workers used to tag along with me when I went to lunch. One even told me I should be grateful for her coming with me so I wouldn't have to eat alone. She really believed that. Unfortunately for her that was the last time I ever took her anywhere due to her remark. Ha! ha! I was and still am totally find eating alone. I don't mind if others stare at me for being the only person at a four or five person table. Ha! Ha!

Seriously, how many on here would like to go to dinner or even a date with someone of the opposite *** even if that's all that would ever come out of it? People use each other all the time. IMO, it's very much human nature to be selfish.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Seriously, how many on here would like to go to dinner or even a date with someone of the opposite *** even if that's all that would ever come out of it? People use each other all the time. IMO, it's very much human nature to be selfish.

Just some random person? No, I would not. I would go with a friend, but definitely not a random person.

 

[U-122]

I just want chocolates everyday, not only Valentines. I go and buy it))
And I want to be loved also everyday.

Seriously I just take this day as a reason to take money off people. Nothing more.

Correct. I don't even know when v day is and don't care. Wouldn't care if i had someone. I don't do commercialized holidays or any holidays. I don't remember the origin of it without googling and don't know if it's for women only or both genders. Don't care for it, don't feel like googling. To me it's the same as crismust or black friday/cyber monday - ******** created by corporations to make me spend money. I don't need anything special to buy something for someone. I can do it any day.

 

[U-122]

Pfff...I worked in client service for years. Even Christmas has a faded teste of over-commercialisation in my mouth. Valentine's Day? Real love shouldn't be celebrated one day a year, more like every day. Valentine is just a day mass consumeurism created to lighten your wallet some more. It's not different than Easter or Halloween. Caching!

So I can't speak for everyone, but I for one wouldn't feel comfortable being with someone that doesn't recognise that obvious cashgrab. We'll celerate the 16th instead with Post-Aftervalentinesday

Exactly!

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Hmm I see...


What I should have posted is the following:

I noticed Valentines Day is coming up, however, I am way too smart to care about such a commercialised holiday, and obviously do not date anyone who likes valentines day, because... how could I, am I right? Also, I usually spend the day feeding the homeless with no desire to be spoilt and romanced at all because i'm a saint.

I am such a strong woman that I am thinking of taking myself on a spa day, who needs a man anyway. I will also throw in some chocolates because I love myself so much, I just want time alone, not like im suffering with PTSD and cant be on my own or anything.

Also, all the guys that have offered to take me out on valentines day, I rejected them on the spot, why would I let someone take me on a date, I know 100% for a fact that... that is clearly using them, how could I be confused about that. It's not like we'd both want to spend time being less alone on Valentines day, no one wants that, because no one cares about it, or even knows when it is. No one celebrates it, obviously.

If you like lies, then here ya go. Other wise the original post is my truth, but to me, I still sound like a jerk with the lies lmao which is actually concerning... yikes..

 

[Colster]

Hmm I see...


What I should have posted is the following:

I noticed Valentines Day is coming up, however, I am way too smart to care about such a commercialised holiday, and obviously do not date anyone who likes valentines day, because... how could I, am I right? Also, I usually spend the day feeding the homeless with no desire to be spoilt and romanced at all because i'm a saint.

I am such a strong woman that I am thinking of taking myself on a spa day, who needs a man anyway. I will also throw in some chocolates because I love myself so much, I just want time alone, not like im suffering with PTSD and cant be on my own or anything.

Also, all the guys that have offered to take me out on valentines day, I rejected them on the spot, why would I let someone take me on a date, I know 100% for a fact that... that is clearly using them, how could I be confused about that. It's not like we'd both want to spend time being less alone on Valentines day, no one wants that, because no one cares about it, or even knows when it is. No one celebrates it, obviously.

If you like lies, then here ya go. Other wise the original post is my truth, but to me, I still sound like a jerk with the lies lmao which is actually concerning... yikes..

Time to put this convo to bed. conclusions have been drawn, sides taken. There's a JCB parked outside for those who want to dig themselves deeper.

when are you taking me out to dinner? ✌❤

 

[U-122]

Hmm I see...


What I should have posted is the following:

I noticed Valentines Day is coming up, however, I am way too smart to care about such a commercialised holiday, and obviously do not date anyone who likes valentines day, because... how could I, am I right? Also, I usually spend the day feeding the homeless with no desire to be spoilt and romanced at all because i'm a saint.

I am such a strong woman that I am thinking of taking myself on a spa day, who needs a man anyway. I will also throw in some chocolates because I love myself so much, I just want time alone, not like im suffering with PTSD and cant be on my own or anything.

Also, all the guys that have offered to take me out on valentines day, I rejected them on the spot, why would I let someone take me on a date, I know 100% for a fact that... that is clearly using them, how could I be confused about that. It's not like we'd both want to spend time being less alone on Valentines day, no one wants that, because no one cares about it, or even knows when it is. No one celebrates it, obviously.

If you like lies, then here ya go. Other wise the original post is my truth, but to me, I still sound like a jerk with the lies lmao which is actually concerning... yikes..

you're funny. made me laugh.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Time to put this convo to bed. conclusions have been drawn, sides taken. There's a JCB parked outside for those who want to dig themselves deeper.

when are you taking me out to dinner? ✌❤

Lol is it bad that im about to google what a JCB is?

I'll take you on Valentines day if ya want, you can use me instead

 

[Colster]

Lol is it bad that im about to google what a JCB is?

I'll take you on Valentines day if ya want, you can use me instead

I pray JCB isn't a euphemism for something that I'm not aware off, else I might have dug my own grave.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I pray JCB isn't a euphemism for something that I'm not aware off, else I might have dug my own grave.

Omg, I didn't even think of that, luckily no one is creative enough to steal JCB just yet lol

 

[Colster]

Well you know the old adage about the differences between a JCB and a giraffe. One has hydraulics, whilst the has high bollocks.

Ahem!

 

[Colster]

I'm taking bookings, with material suitable for christening, bar mitzvah, and funerals.

I'm here all weekend, try the steak!

 

[Colster]

Romance 1-0-1.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Romance 1-0-1.

Lool omg

 

[ewomack]

I haven't seen any of this until now, but when I saw a thread with the words "Valentine's Day" in the title and merged that with the context of a lonely person's forum, I thought "this can't end well."

I have celebrated Valentine's Day plenty in the past. Dinner, theater, roses, a walk around the lake in the moonlight, gifts, sometimes a fancy hotel room even though we lived only 5 miles away. Sure. I've done that. I don't find anything wrong with it, in fact I found a lot of it pretty enjoyable. I only did this with people who I was already in a pretty serious relationship with, but the "friends with benefits" culture could probably find some alternate uses for it as well.

In the end, all of the relationships in which I did those things ended, and sometimes badly. That's not to say that a relationship couldn't work out with such things, that's just my experience. Sadly, the allure of romance can become a little pallid after breaking up nastily with five or six people who pledged eternal love, or who said they wanted to grow old with me, etc., especially if they ended up cheating. You begin to hear "I'll love you forever" and think instantly "I've heard that before." It's sad. Again, in my experience, I found the ones who succumbed the most to romance were the ones most likely to have affairs. They are typically looking for something else besides a solid relationship. They get bored when things "settle down" and they tend to have expectations, sometimes completely unspoken or shared, about their partners. All of that is fine, except for the unspoken parts, as long as it's all on the table and both parties know what they're getting into.

On the other hand, I've known couples who romanced like a Hollywood movie and really have (so far, at least) ended up in a "happily-ever after" scenario. At least as close as one can get in real life. That's pretty rare, but I know of at least two instances. In my own experience, my wife has grown a little tired of Valentine's Day and she asked me to stop buying her roses years ago. So I did. Now we usually go out to eat, maybe on the day before or after so we have a chance of getting a seat in a nice restaurant and just spend time together. Since it's typically agonizingly cold in February where we live a walk is usually completely out of the question. Obviously, someone in a warm climate picked that date for Valentine's Day. We still "celebrate," though it's really toned down now. I like to think that we're past the point where we "need" Valentine's Day, though I don't think we ever really did.

But for lonely people, Valentine's Day, whether you take it seriously or not, can be a day of absolute misery. I've been alone on more than one Valentine's Day and I felt its psychology working on me: "why aren't you in a relationship?" "why are you alone?" "what's wrong with you?" That now feels like nonsense to me, though that's also easy to say from the perspective of a stable relationship.

Some people celebrate Valentine's Day, some people don't. Different people have different thoughts, expectations and opinions about it. None of them are "wrong." Just make sure that you're well matched and that the person you're with isn't seeking marriage while you're seeking just a fine night of spoiling. I've been on the receiving end of that and it's pretty devastating. But if you're both in agreement, then go for it.

 

[Abstamyous]

The older I get, the more I think "Steak and BJ Day" is the better deal.

 

[TheSkaFish]

The older I get, the more I think "Steak and BJ Day" is the better deal.

That's like the Guido version of Valentine's Day, of course.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I haven't seen any of this until now, but when I saw a thread with the words "Valentine's Day" in the title and merged that with the context of a lonely person's forum, I thought "this can't end well."

I have celebrated Valentine's Day plenty in the past. Dinner, theater, roses, a walk around the lake in the moonlight, gifts, sometimes a fancy hotel room even though we lived only 5 miles away. Sure. I've done that. I don't find anything wrong with it, in fact I found a lot of it pretty enjoyable. I only did this with people who I was already in a pretty serious relationship with, but the "friends with benefits" culture could probably find some alternate uses for it as well.

In the end, all of the relationships in which I did those things ended, and sometimes badly. That's not to say that a relationship couldn't work out with such things, that's just my experience. Sadly, the allure of romance can become a little pallid after breaking up nastily with five or six people who pledged eternal love, or who said they wanted to grow old with me, etc., especially if they ended up cheating. You begin to hear "I'll love you forever" and think instantly "I've heard that before." It's sad. Again, in my experience, I found the ones who succumbed the most to romance were the ones most likely to have affairs. They are typically looking for something else besides a solid relationship. They get bored when things "settle down" and they tend to have expectations, sometimes completely unspoken or shared, about their partners. All of that is fine, except for the unspoken parts, as long as it's all on the table and both parties know what they're getting into.

On the other hand, I've known couples who romanced like a Hollywood movie and really have (so far, at least) ended up in a "happily-ever after" scenario. At least as close as one can get in real life. That's pretty rare, but I know of at least two instances. In my own experience, my wife has grown a little tired of Valentine's Day and she asked me to stop buying her roses years ago. So I did. Now we usually go out to eat, maybe on the day before or after so we have a chance of getting a seat in a nice restaurant and just spend time together. Since it's typically agonizingly cold in February where we live a walk is usually completely out of the question. Obviously, someone in a warm climate picked that date for Valentine's Day. We still "celebrate," though it's really toned down now. I like to think that we're past the point where we "need" Valentine's Day, though I don't think we ever really did.

But for lonely people, Valentine's Day, whether you take it seriously or not, can be a day of absolute misery. I've been alone on more than one Valentine's Day and I felt its psychology working on me: "why aren't you in a relationship?" "why are you alone?" "what's wrong with you?" That now feels like nonsense to me, though that's also easy to say from the perspective of a stable relationship.

Some people celebrate Valentine's Day, some people don't. Different people have different thoughts, expectations and opinions about it. None of them are "wrong." Just make sure that you're well matched and that the person you're with isn't seeking marriage while you're seeking just a fine night of spoiling. I've been on the receiving end of that and it's pretty devastating. But if you're both in agreement, then go for it.

Out of respect for others who didn't want me to talk about this topic, I'll be brief.

I think its kinda sad the topic went in the opposite way than intended (I think it can have a lot to do with the way I word things, sentence structure and blah blah, im a ranter, not a clear and concise writer, and my thoughts are often as jumbled as they come out on here... no wonder im confused lol ) im not opposed to different opinions though, I just think my point was being missed, but omg so many people messaged me and asked me if im leaving and not to leave that I felt kinda bad to continue talking about this, for the record, I'm here to stay.

I have no hard feelings towards anyone on this forum, but it's kinda weird that it's felt that perfection is demanded. Like people feel unable to post in the main thread due to fear, fear online... I don't like that, feels like bullying. We can do better than that, make all feel welcome, engage in debate if we must, but let's try not to scare anyone away. Im a tough cookie but even I was a little like.. what?!?! Better never say I like valentines day again lol If only I could be that submissive, I'd have a husband by now

I did have to say, brownie points for you seeing through the haze and kinda getting to the meat of what my post was about... to me anyway. I honestly dont know how to make sure a guy wants exactly what I want, I was thinking what do people on here do to kinda ignore the loneliness, but this is a rare place not one other person will feel alone on that day, just little me

The older I get, the more I think "Steak and BJ Day" is the better deal.

Lmaooo you know what, I have never heard this, I wanted to check if it's from a film but i'm too scared to google it loool Call it what you will, as long as I get my teddies and flowers lol

 

[TheRealCallie]

but it's kinda weird that it's felt that perfection is demanded.

Better never say I like valentines day again lol

And again, no one said either of those things and no one expects you to be perfect (though I get accused of being perfect often enough here ) You claim we missed your point, but you missed every single one of ours....either that or you're looking for pity by making us the bad guys. Anything is possible and it has happened here before, so I rule nothing out. lol

 

[Abstamyous]

^it has its own special day on March 14