Virgins

[Gary]

been reading this site for a while and it makes me wonder just how many of us are still virgins - mid 30s & never even had a gf in real life how pathetic is that

 

[Guest]

I'm not a virgin but I'm more pathetic than anyone else here I bet. I won't tell you why but I just know I am. And being a virgin isnt the worst thing in life. There's much more worse things like being a pathetic loser like I am.

 

[lonelygirl]

I think there are many worse things than being virgins.

In retrospect I wish that I had not lost my virginity when I did. I wish I had waited for someone I truly loved!

So be happy and proud that you haven't given in to the temptation to 'just do it'...even if you never had a real relationship or even a chance for a one night stand, you didn't hire a call girl.

If you are in your mid 30's to be honest, if/when you start dating it's perhaps better to keep that private. Not that there is any shame in it. Just the woman might feel a lot of pressure on her because it holds an emotional place.

 

[Lost_N_Alone]

As lonelygirl said you should be proud of yourself. I once knew someone in his 20s who had to resort to getting a girl drunk to finally lose his virginity. The day after it meant nothing to the girl who couldn't care less. To the guy he thought he was all cool now, even though everyone else thought he was pathetic for having to do what he did. Now that's something that's truly pathetic. Being a virgin is not pathetic (this is coming from a guy).

I am not a virgin but the first time I did it, I did it mostly because I was lonely and miserable and wanted to give in to the pressure of losing my virginity. I was 20. So what did I do? I did it with someone who was only using me to make her ex bf jealous and ended up treating me like crap. There was nothing cool about it. If I had waited until I did it with someone who it actually meant someone to, I'm sure it would have been much better. That way I wouldn't look back at the first time with disgust.

 

[Gary]

Thanks a lot man - I appreciate these words of yours and they really do help.

As lonelygirl said you should be proud of yourself.  I once knew someone in his 20s who had to resort to getting a girl drunk to finally lose his virginity.  The day after it meant nothing to the girl who couldn't care less.  To the guy he thought he was all cool now, even though everyone else thought he was pathetic for having to do what he did.  Now that's something that's truly pathetic.  Being a virgin is not pathetic (this is coming from a guy).

I am not a virgin but the first time I did it, I did it mostly because I was lonely and miserable and wanted to give in to the pressure of losing my virginity.  I was 20.  So what did I do?  I did it with someone who was only using me to make her ex bf jealous and ended up treating me like crap.  There was nothing cool about it.  If I had waited until I did it with someone who it actually meant someone to, I'm sure it would have been much better.  That way I wouldn't look back at the first time with disgust.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hey Gary,

I'm glad you're feeling better. I think it's very hard to be a guy these days. Knowing what's expected and desired by women can be a challenge! We want a man who's attractive but not a pretty boy. A guy who's masculine but not a neanderthal. Sensitive but not effeminate. It's a tall order!

If you would like to private message me I would be happy to give you some coaching on the female mind.

 

[Josh]

I am still a virgin at 22 and still really don't see what the big deal is. Most people that know me have found out somehow that I am one. I don't hide it like I am ashamed at all if someones asks or it comes up I will tell people its not like being a virgin is a bad thing atleast to me I guess.

 

[Jeremi]

I think it's really really weird that there's so much pressure to lose your virginity when you're young. What is so important about having sex? I'm 21 and a virgin, and I don't feel that I've missed something. I'm sure it can be wonderful with someone you truly love, but having sex with someone you barely know when you're 15 years old, are you supposed to be some kind lesser being because you haven't done that? That's kind of the feeling I get from todays society

Nah, I'm going to wait until I meet someone I love. Just have to meet her first. I don't see any reason to do it before that. Just for pleasure? No thanks ^^

 

[downgrade]

Hey Gary,

I'm glad you're feeling better. I think it's very hard to be a guy these days. Knowing what's expected and desired by women can be a challenge! We want a man who's attractive but not a pretty boy. A guy who's masculine but not a neanderthal. Sensitive but not effeminate. It's a tall order!

If you would like to private message me I would be happy to give you some coaching on the female mind.

The female mind is the most confusing thing on the face of the Earth. =/

 

[Colette]

What's pathetic about being a virgin in your thirties? Some people may be shy and remember being intimate is a very serious thing, its two people coming together and trusting each other. The question we should be asking is: Is it pitiful that people have sex but are afraid to be open with their partners?

 

[Lifequanta]

Well will sex ever bridge two people ? Its better to be a virgin without having a proper intimate relationship psychologically/emotionally  . I too just passed off the pain of the decision or the peer pressure to lose or not to lose once virginity. I am a virgin still [] Do not worry about virginity . I know its painful but wasting your time over it is of no sense. You can be happy without sex too . But do not hesistate when you know you got the right partner who really care 4 u  

 

[Guest]

been reading this site for a while and it makes me wonder just how many of us are still virgins - mid 30s & never even had a gf in real life how pathetic is that

hey Gary,
You're not alone because i'm a virgin female in my late 30's

 

[Krossknife]

Eh? I admire people who can keep there virginity these days, I let an older women persuade me to take mine when i was 13 and I have always regreted it but at the same time I wanted to know what all of these crazy hormones and topic of almost every conversation was about.. And when it was done and over I was changed good or bad I still cannot say. And all it seemed to do was open up a whole new world of insecurities to me. For love sex is a wonderful thing but sex for sex brings so much politics it makes me sick. Example...Now that I have had sex was I good in the sack did I last long enough was my member big enough, was her climax climactic, will I be a god among men or a man in shame. Well the only sensable stupid solution at 13 was I just need to have lots more sex so that I can be great...Oy man I hate society so much at times..

 

[Guest]

It seems like most of the people wo say being a virgin isnt a bad thing arnt virgins themselves. This seems pretty hypocritical to me. I mean, to look back on retrospect you can find flaws with anything, but how would you feel if you never got that chance or never took i? Or never got anyone to be there with you or anyone never wanted to be with you? Yes, poor you, someone used you, but they used you because they at least saw you worthy to use you for a physical aspect. So what of us that cannot even get used and abused physically even if we seek it out? Let alone ever having a real semi-healthy relationship.....

 

[Guest]

Eh? I admire people who can keep there virginity these days, I let an older women persuade me to take mine when i was 13 and I have always regreted it but at the same time I wanted to know what all of these crazy hormones and topic of almost every conversation was about.. And when it was done and over I was changed good or bad I still cannot say. And all it seemed to do was open up a whole new world of insecurities to me. For love sex is a wonderful thing but sex for sex brings so much politics it makes me sick. Example...Now that I have had sex was I good in the sack did I last long enough was my member big enough, was her climax climactic, will I be a god among men or a man in shame. Well the only sensable stupid solution at 13 was I just need to have lots more sex so that I can be great...Oy man I hate society so much at times..

Am I the only one who sees something wrong here? An "older woman" with a 13 year old boy? I don't know how much older, but I think if she was over, like 16 that's considered child molesting where I come from.

 

[Hypestyle]

been reading this site for a while and it makes me wonder just how many of us are still virgins never even had a gf in real life how pathetic is that

I'm in the club, too..
I wish I could resign..

 

[SadRabbit]

been reading this site for a while and it makes me wonder just how many of us are still virgins never even had a gf in real life how pathetic is that

I'm in the club, too..
I wish I could resign..

Me too. But there is no point for us trying to get a gf if she is not the really true one for us. Trust me, besides love is more than just holding hands, kissing, making mad love to each other. Yes, they are like icing on a cake but love is to care for the other party, see that they are happy...that what love is about.

 

[teach]

Hi guys,

I've been divorced for about 8 years, and have a ten year old daughter, so obviously I'm no longer in the club, but I have been seeing a guy for the last six years who is still in the club at 35. After getting divorced, I found that there was an expectation of once divorced, it's okay to be loose which is a very unfortunate stereotype. The guy I'm seeing never thought he would find someone until we met, and he didn't have those expectations of me. So, you can still find love, even as a 30-something, so I wouldn't put so much pressure on the idea of getting out of the club and let the finding someone you truely care for be what's important.

 

[Guest]

Hi !

I'm in the club too. I'm 26. I've got no friend (i lost them). I've got a kind of schizophrenia (psychiatrics told me i smoked too much weed). I'm now looking for a job that i don't like (i'm finishing my studies). I feel so different from everyone else . It's like i've got to hide what i've been through (i spare you the details). I'm disconnected from this world with my existential questions... Anyway I'm pretty sure i'll have a ****** life (well, i already have but i mean having a job you don't like and being all alone for the rest of your life). I'm a complete loser and it's been two years that everyday i think of death.

Sorry for this useless comment. Ok, it's time for me to listen to the police's "so lonely" lol. Sorry for my mistakes, i'm not an english speaker.

The loser

 

[teach]

Hi Guest,

Welcome. Many of us have shared stories, you may be surprised at how many parts of your story (I'm sure not the whole thing), that others here can relate to. What are you studying and what type of job are you looking in to?

BTW, I really like the Police.