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Listening to music and trying to keep my wits about me.

I have to lave for an appointment in 15 minutes and can barely breathe. I thought I was done with this stupid, pointless anxiety. Watching the minutes tick by is like waiting for a death sentence.

Maybe I'll go dunk my head in water.
 
ladyforsaken said:
Peaches said:
last year I was really better and I had 9/10 hours of activity per day almost like normal people - then I relapsed, and now I am back to 8 hours per day, so for 8 hours I can go to work, see people (not walk a lot, unfortunately) without being sick the following day. It is almost a life, even if I miss being able to just go to the beach or have a day trip somewhere, or talking and holding hands until 4 in the morning.
I can go to the beach, if I am ready to spend the following day sick.

I'm sorry.. It sucks that your body can't keep up :\ I know how that feels. But you're a strong lady, you really push your way through the day and it's amazing, really. I always admire that of you. :)

fishing for encouragement ;) actually I wanted to cancel that comment later on, but then it was too late
 
Waiting on help from the anti-virus forums. It's going okay (I think?) but taking forever. So far I've only been receiving one bit of help per day. Unfortunately, this means I can't send sensitive info (for applications) until it's over. So I have my parents constantly giving me **** about it but there's nothing I can do.

Lesson - avoid putting yourself in situations where you are at the mercy of experts. They will either take forever to get back to you, it will be ******* expensive, or both.

So that brings me to the other thing I'm doing - just trying to stay the hell out of everyone's way while I wait for the OK from the forum. That's another thing that sucks about living in a small house - staying out of the way is very hard to do. I basically have no choice but to stay in the basement all day. Can't open a window for the breeze or anything. This sucks. I can only go for one walk per day without there being a problem with that. I save my walks til 8 o clock or so, because then the fireflies come out and sometimes now crickets as well. It's soothing to watch the fireflies glow and to listen to the chirp of the crickets. My one walk a day is what gets me through it.
 

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