What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[9006]

Motivation is becoming a problem lately!

 

[Serenia]

Feeling like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders, making that turn around has given me a freedom I never knew existed.

 

[Peaches]

feeling hopeless, since two weeks I feel much better but this extreme insomnia is not a good sign, and the headache, how do I get a normal life?

 

[J.Osterman]

Demoralized, lost. Trying not to compare myself to others, but looking at my other friends who have finished or are wrapping up their graduate degrees while I'm here having withdrawn from my own program earlier this year doesn't help. I did get hired last week for a part-time job, so that along with volunteering will keep me busy at least and put a little money in my bank account. Even so, feeling a little down today.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I wish I could see myself the way others see me.

 

[ladyforsaken]

What a ride it's been. Well, time to get back up and trudge on along. Slow and steady....

 

[Tealeaf]

It's ironic that by the time I find true friendship, I'm too jaded to understand it.

I had someone say they're not friends with me because I'm friendly or funny, but because they like me and my flaws. It's a beautiful thing to say to someone. Maybe it's because I'm so used to being viewed as nothing more than my sympathy, my gender, or my body, but I don't even understand what it means on an emotional level. That's just not how people treat me.

I withdrew from bullying, neglect, and being my mother's emotional outlet into an online world where I was still only the sum of what I could do for others. I didn't matter if I wasn't listening to someone vent or the right gender to date. If picking fights with me made me react and show I cared, then hurting me was fine by their standards. I was still only as good as my ability to fill someone else's void or take a punch.

I don't think treating people as the sum of what they can give whether it's sex, money, or just an ear is the way to treat people, but I struggle not to think of myself in those terms. I struggle to see what anyone sees in me if it's not filling their voids, and trying to understand it just makes me confused and angry. I'd never treat my own friends that way, though, or hinge our friendship on them making me laugh, being a potential mate, listening to me complain, or anything else like that.

 

[WishingWell]

Feeling anxious

 

[sth]

Somehow lonely, but otherwise ok, I suppose. Or at least as "ok" as I can be in my situation.

 

[BeyondShy]

I wish I could see myself the way others see me.

I always give you two thumbs up!

 

[Serenia]

Feeling tired, weary, tearful, grateful. I am never enough.

I don't know what to hope for anymore.

Thinking is it selfish of me to want to be hugged.

My mind won't quit remembering walking in.

 

[Wayfarer]

I wish I could see myself the way others see me.

If they all agree then maybe yes, otherwise you'd end up with multiple personalities @__@

 

[user 115627]

There a probably a dozen ways self-control can be mistaken for actual goodwill, just as matter-of-fact manners can be mistaken for deadpan humor.

 

[WishingWell]

Relieved (I don't have to attend)

 

[Peaches]

utterly scared about the future

 

[Shinobi]

Wow Peaches, i came here to type the same thing. So yeah... copy/paste ^

 

[Serenia]

Feeling not so good, I think I better ring the Dr in the morning, it feels like my yearly bout of Bronchitis.

 

[Aisha]

You're very blessed and lucky to have it, but I don't envy your perfect health. I accept my body and my mind as they are, and even though it has taken a long time to get to this point, I appreciate everything they've done to get me here. I would not change a thing, I would not trade what I have for anything else. There are many going through far worse than me, but diminishing or dismissing my own troubles will not help me help them. Illness is alien to you, and I hope for your sake it stays that way. But some of us have to pick up the pieces of ourselves while holding other people together. I have watched enough people suffer not just because of poor health, but with poor body image and self-esteem to understand how much a little empathy can help. It is never okay to say the things you said about anyone.

 

[Serenia]

Feeling quite apprehensive about what might happen. Hoping for the best. Thinking about how to handle it, without taking something away.

 

[ladyforsaken]

It's been a week back at work. Not too overwhelming, things came back to me faster than I thought and as naturally as if I hadn't stopped working for 8 months. Only differences to adapt to are the staff in my team now and the manager's style. Gotta keep my pace so I don't over-push myself.

The clients I used to work with still remember me and even bothered to spend some time talking to me to catch up. It wouldn't have been the same if I was still teaching in that school. To think I've worked in this company only for 3 months before I got cancer and more than 3 years in the school before I got cancer as well. Just goes to show how poor the management and welfare was in the school.

Thankfully too, having had that experience in teaching in that school just made me appreciate the support and kindness I get from this current job. I'm always so grateful for this and the people in it. So I can't let a rotten apple or two ruin it for me.