What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[TheRealCallie]

Don't encourage me.

But but but.....

 

[Claudia1794]

But but but.....

Thanks for that...now I will have him in my head all day...."its me Jessica"

 

[TheRealCallie]

Thanks for that...now I will have him in my head all day...."its me Jessica"

At least I didn't ask a question.

But seriously, just keep being you, not everyone is going to like you or what you say/ask, but at least you will continue being yourself and trying to get to the root of it.

 

[Claudia1794]

I can't be me though because that will blow my experiment. Im trying to be a nice person. In my mind nice is trying to learn about other people. Its hard to learn about people when they don't like to answer questions. I tell a good bit about myself so maybe people will get to know who I am by what I say/ask. Im not quite ready to throw in the towel. Its only been 2 months. If at any point you or anyone else doesn't like what I say/ask I'm fine with some constructive criticism. Actually all feedback is better than none.

 

[TheRealCallie]

To me, asking questions and saying what you think isn't necessarily bad. Aside from a few things you posted when you first joined (nothing too horrible and I would have to look to know what they are) I haven't seen anything wrong with anything you post. It's not about people not wanting to answer questions, IMO, it's about them not getting the answers they wanted. A lot of people seem to want people to tell them they are justified in whatever it is. Not even just here, but everywhere these days. You can't disagree with anyone anymore without getting attacked for it. I've been getting that since I joined back in 2010. Granted, I really was a combative ***** when I first joined, but not since I came back.

It's refreshing to find another person who would rather tell it like it is. We are a dying breed, never change that about yourself. It makes you unique and plenty of people will thank you for it, even if there are some who will hate you for it.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I can't be me though because that will blow my experiment. Im trying to be a nice person. In my mind nice is trying to learn about other people. Its hard to learn about people when they don't like to answer questions. I tell a good bit about myself so maybe people will get to know who I am by what I say/ask. Im not quite ready to throw in the towel. Its only been 2 months. If at any point you or anyone else doesn't like what I say/ask I'm fine with some constructive criticism. Actually all feedback is better than none.

Claudia as the queen of questions I sayyy if anyone dont like it they can simply.... not answer lol I'm soo tired of people policing questions, Whats the point of being on a forum and not asking questions? uh oh... theres another question I simply cant help myself lol

 

[Rohini]

If people are going to ask for advice, questions will follow... usually.

 

[user 135671]

Im trying to be a nice person.

I reckon you're already a nice person no trying needed. You keep being you, like Ceno says if people don't want to answer a question then that's fine, doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't ask it.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I appreciate the Q&A.
But, that's because I don't overthink it.
It's a time-filler, usually over breakfast and coffee, or after I get in from work.
I generally don't believe that this is such a thing as a stupid question, in part because everyone's subjective reality experience is different.
Over the years of just casually talking to people both online and offline it's really helped me better cement the uniqueness of everyone's subjective experience.
I see no point in faulting the genuinely ignorant, that's a totally normal thing, that's how you learn, through inquiry and trial and error.
Context can get lost through the medium of text, however. Due to the lack of tone and inflection.
Which is actually the entire technical reason why in the internet era we created emojis, to try to help define that more.
Nobody knows everything, only a fool thinks that they do, and in all actuality on a philosophical level we're kind of meant to spend our entire lives learning from and teaching each other things.
While I can understand and appreciate the concern for the moral ambiguity of the path of knowledge, simultaneously it's also, kind of like being a little kid that's afraid of the dark because the shadows are scary, until the kid learns what the shadows actually are, then it's not as scary.
And in such a simple innocence of a metaphor, basically, all of life is like that.
Fear is what drives aspiration to manifest and appear.
The most basic understanding of that is our survival instincts.
Humans fear dying, so we aspire to acquire resources to keep us alive.
We fear being alone and having no help because the world is scary and we are social animals on an evolutionary level of psychology, so we aspire to be socially agreeable even if we naturally aren't by default.
It's also through this same process of fear driving aspiration to manifest that people learn to master their insecurities and cope with their flaws and find meaning and happiness in life in sometimes the most unlikely of places.
Fear is not necessarily a bad thing, because without it we would remain stagnant, and likely die from a lack of aspiration to acquire resources to live.
And so I think that if we allow it to teach us that it teaches us what we need to know.
FDR was kind of right, "the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
Plus it's a Hell of a lot less taxing to just let yourself be humbled in life than it is to keep holding on to something that's upsetting. My argument to that, is that I am no longer in my early 20's and so feelings add weight to thought that I prefer not to have because much to my dismay, I've still got to get up and go to work in the morning.
I wonder if it transcribes through text as a medium that most of my writing is entirely from a stream of consciousness. I have thoughts and then I just improvise a biblical-sized post.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I appreciate the Q&A.
But, that's because I don't overthink it.
It's a time-filler, usually over breakfast and coffee, or after I get in from work.
I generally don't believe that this is such a thing as a stupid question, in part because everyone's subjective reality experience is different.
Over the years of just casually talking to people both online and offline it's really helped me better cement the uniqueness of everyone's subjective experience.
I see no point in faulting the genuinely ignorant, that's a totally normal thing, that's how you learn, through inquiry and trial and error.
Context can get lost through the medium of text, however. Due to the lack of tone and inflection.
Which is actually the entire technical reason why in the internet era we created emojis, to try to help define that more.
Nobody knows everything, only a fool thinks that they do, and in all actuality on a philosophical level we're kind of meant to spend our entire lives learning from and teaching each other things.
While I can understand and appreciate the concern for the moral ambiguity of the path of knowledge, simultaneously it's also, kind of like being a little kid that's afraid of the dark because the shadows are scary, until the kid learns what the shadows actually are, then it's not as scary.
And in such a simple innocence of a metaphor, basically, all of life is like that.
Fear is what drives aspiration to manifest and appear.
The most basic understanding of that is our survival instincts.
Humans fear dying, so we aspire to acquire resources to keep us alive.
We fear being alone and having no help because the world is scary and we are social animals on an evolutionary level of psychology, so we aspire to be socially agreeable even if we naturally aren't by default.
It's also through this same process of fear driving aspiration to manifest that people learn to master their insecurities and cope with their flaws and find meaning and happiness in life in sometimes the most unlikely of places.
Fear is not necessarily a bad thing, because without it we would remain stagnant, and likely die from a lack of aspiration to acquire resources to live.
And so I think that if we allow it to teach us that it teaches us what we need to know.
FDR was kind of right, "the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
Plus it's a Hell of a lot less taxing to just let yourself be humbled in life than it is to keep holding on to something that's upsetting. My argument to that, is that I am no longer in my early 20's and so feelings add weight to thought that I prefer not to have because much to my dismay, I've still got to get up and go to work in the morning.
I wonder if it transcribes through text as a medium that most of my writing is entirely from a stream of consciousness. I have thoughts and then I just improvise a biblical-sized post.

Oh Apexie please keep going, hold on wait let me… grab my dictionary. I like a man that likes questions! Didnt think they existed honestly I could asked 1000 questions, phone calls with Ceno… they are not an easy thing to get through

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Sparticus...

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Oh Apexie please keep going, hold on wait let me… grab my dictionary. I like a man that likes questions! Didnt think they existed honestly I could asked 1000 questions, phone calls with Ceno… they are not an easy thing to get through

I can work with whatever. lol.
I think most men appreciate the Q&A.
It's technically a small form of attention, and men don't get much attention.
But also because tone and inflection get lost in text it can kinda jarble it a bit.
"Hi, how are you?" is pretty much universally the same as an inquiry, for example.
But the difference between "what are you doing?" as an inquiry of genuine confusion and "what are you doing?" as a judgmental statement, gets lost because there's no way to discern it without using pre and post text in the post to kind of try to reverse-engineer it back.
It's actually kind of a fundamental problem with writing in general.
Just, now we have the internet, so all humans everywhere can experience this problem pretty much daily in some way.
We do it when reading novels as well, but the way that novels are properly and professionally edited help better to shape a context and give definition to where it is needed...and even then sometimes it's still lost.
Case and point, "Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire, Harry?" Dumbledore asked calmly."

And so what we got in the film was:

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I can work with whatever. lol.
I think most men appreciate the Q&A.
It's technically a small form of attention, and men don't get much attention.
But also because tone and inflection get lost in text it can kinda jarble it a bit.
"Hi, how are you?" is pretty much universally the same as an inquiry, for example.
But the difference between "what are you doing?" as an inquiry of genuine confusion and "what are you doing?" as a judgmental statement, gets lost because there's no way to discern it without using pre and post text in the post to kind of try to reverse-engineer it back.
It's actually kind of a fundamental problem with writing in general.
Just, now we have the internet, so all humans everywhere can experience this problem pretty much daily in some way.
We do it when reading novels as well, but the way that novels are properly and professionally edited help better to shape a context and give definition to where it is needed...and even then sometimes it's still lost.
Case and point, "Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire, Harry?" Dumbledore asked calmly."

And so what we got in the film was:

Ugh made my day lol and okay so what about this, my ex fella would debate with me in the morning on relationship psychology topics, but if I ever started to win he’d get personal and nasty do you think some people cant separate themselves from the topic and debate without resorting to being rude?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Ugh made my day lol and okay so what about this, my ex fella would debate with me in the morning on relationship psychology topics, but if I ever started to win he’d get personal and nasty do you think some people cant separate themselves from the topic and debate without resorting to being rude?

If he was viewing the debate from less of a stance of the debate, and more of a stance of the idea of him being with you, than that would cause an emotionally biased stance, because he's made himself emotionally involved in the subject from his perspective and is thinking about his relationship with you, rather than the subject.

That too, is unfortunately also very common. We humans have feelings, our feelings are our default filters of information processing that creates our perceptions of reality. The trouble with having our feelings as filters is, that they are not always accurate representations of a miscommunication. That happens because the brain is more like a receiver, rather than a broadcaster. Your five senses, sight, taste, sound, touch and smell are the basis for your information processing. Your brain receives all of that and then tries to make sense of it emotionally to give you a suggested direction.

The reason it isn't always accurate is because it's such a natural thing that we don't think about it. We are under the assumption that what we feel is what fundamentally IS. But such cannot be the case because it is an automatically generated assumption without taking in the context of rather or not the possibility of the opposite could be somewhat true or have merit to it.

So if a person genuinely believes for example that they'll be absolutely fine if they casually walk off a cliff, they will in fact walk off the cliff and be the farthest away from fine as possible.

In the case of arguing with your ex, he's stuck in his beliefs or convictions and cannot see the other side of it because he is too strongly stuck in his beliefs. Which again, is also actually surprisingly common. Oldest example of that I can think of, is religious debates. Which is why they're not allowed on the forum.

 

[user 135671]

I've always felt a certain affinity with Kali, Hindu goddess of ultimate badassery and demon slaying.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Sometimes in life, when life is kicking your *** enough for a long enough time, you've just gotta throw it, and pick up the pieces either. It's a misconception to think you lost a fight this way. Rather, it didn't actually begin because the fight is putting things back together again in the aftermath, not trying to maintain the structure.

Anyone that is highly creative is also likely highly self critical and somewhat of a perfectionist so it's actually easy to read the situation as to what we SHOULD do totally wrong and incorrectly because of what we WANT TO do.

Sometimes you SHOULD do what you WANT TO do, and if you don't life will likewise punish you for it.

Kind of like how in video games, sometimes there's a boss fight that you can't beat, and you scour the internet after hours of trying to figure it out on your own, just to find out that you're not supposed to win against that boss, you're supposed to lose so that the story can continue. It's scripted.

Life is like that sometimes.
It's just really uncomfortable to swallow that pill, because we're so used to having totalitarian control over life.

Once you realize what you've been doing wrong then everything else falls into place.

It's a very moment of realization.

 

[Claudia1794]

I appreciate the Q&A.
But, that's because I don't overthink it.
It's a time-filler, usually over breakfast and coffee, or after I get in from work.
I generally don't believe that this is such a thing as a stupid question, in part because everyone's subjective reality experience is different.
Over the years of just casually talking to people both online and offline it's really helped me better cement the uniqueness of everyone's subjective experience.
I see no point in faulting the genuinely ignorant, that's a totally normal thing, that's how you learn, through inquiry and trial and error.
Context can get lost through the medium of text, however. Due to the lack of tone and inflection.
Which is actually the entire technical reason why in the internet era we created emojis, to try to help define that more.
Nobody knows everything, only a fool thinks that they do, and in all actuality on a philosophical level we're kind of meant to spend our entire lives learning from and teaching each other things.
While I can understand and appreciate the concern for the moral ambiguity of the path of knowledge, simultaneously it's also, kind of like being a little kid that's afraid of the dark because the shadows are scary, until the kid learns what the shadows actually are, then it's not as scary.
And in such a simple innocence of a metaphor, basically, all of life is like that.
Fear is what drives aspiration to manifest and appear.
The most basic understanding of that is our survival instincts.
Humans fear dying, so we aspire to acquire resources to keep us alive.
We fear being alone and having no help because the world is scary and we are social animals on an evolutionary level of psychology, so we aspire to be socially agreeable even if we naturally aren't by default.
It's also through this same process of fear driving aspiration to manifest that people learn to master their insecurities and cope with their flaws and find meaning and happiness in life in sometimes the most unlikely of places.
Fear is not necessarily a bad thing, because without it we would remain stagnant, and likely die from a lack of aspiration to acquire resources to live.
And so I think that if we allow it to teach us that it teaches us what we need to know.
FDR was kind of right, "the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
Plus it's a Hell of a lot less taxing to just let yourself be humbled in life than it is to keep holding on to something that's upsetting. My argument to that, is that I am no longer in my early 20's and so feelings add weight to thought that I prefer not to have because much to my dismay, I've still got to get up and go to work in the morning.
I wonder if it transcribes through text as a medium that most of my writing is entirely from a stream of consciousness. I have thoughts and then I just improvise a biblical-sized post.

I zoned in on genuinely ignorant

 

[Cherubino]

meow

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I zoned in on genuinely ignorant

Why?? It just means the not knowing of something that you don't know.
There's a lot of stuff I don't know. How I learned the things I do know was I asked people about them or figured it out through trial and error or some combination of both.

 

[user 188685]

That I get better

I hope you get better soon too Roxiee,you stay strong girl,you got this