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Letter of the day: an emancipated black slave writes to his former master

JOURDON Anderson was an ex-slave writing to his former owner, Colonel P.H. Anderson of Big Spring, Tennessee. The year was 1865. The Colonel had asked Anderson to return to service as a paid worker. The letter is worthy of reading. The letter was, according to newspapers at the time, dictated.


Dayton, Ohio,

August 7, 1865

To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter, and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jourdon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this, for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Colonel Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again, and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me that Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here. I get twenty-five dollars a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy,—the folks call her Mrs. Anderson,—and the children—Milly, Jane, and Grundy—go to school and are learning well. The teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday school, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated. Sometimes we overhear others saying, “Them colored people were slaves” down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks; but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Colonel Anderson. Many darkeys would have been proud, as I used to be, to call you master. Now if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost-Marshal-General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you were disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years, and Mandy twenty years. At twenty-five dollars a month for me, and two dollars a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to eleven thousand six hundred and eighty dollars. Add to this the interest for the time our wages have been kept back, and deduct what you paid for our clothing, and three doctor’s visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams’s Express, in care of V. Winters, Esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past, we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night; but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

In answering this letter, please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up, and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve—and die, if it come to that—than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood. The great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

From your old servant,

Jourdon Anderson.
 
I feel sh*tty lately, but before I start saying it's depression, it's probably dehydration, lack of quality sleep, and coming off what was possibly the flu. So I guess I have to wait and see if things don't get better.
 
I've been feeling sad lately.

I miss my youth. I miss the way we were growing up. I miss having the interests I had then, and having interests at all. I miss getting excited about things. I miss being hopeful for the future and thinking things were going to turn out OK. I wish I hadn't spent so much time complaining and angry, back when things were still pretty good. Today is so much worse. I wish I'd enjoyed it while it lasted.

I miss the family members I had then, that were always in my life, that are now gone. I wish I could talk to them again. These last few years, going to the mid-late 2010s, have been very painful for me.

I miss hanging out with my friends. I rarely see them anymore, and now that they are moving on with life, it probably won't be like it was anymore.

Finally I miss some of the folks from here, that don't post much anymore. For the time they were here, they made me feel better.
 
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I've been feeling sad lately.

I miss my youth. I miss the way we were growing up. I miss having the interests I had then, and having interests at all. I miss getting excited about things. I miss being hopeful for the future and thinking things were going to turn out OK. I wish I hadn't spent so much time complaining and angry, back when things were still pretty good. Today is so much worse. I wish I'd enjoyed it while it lasted.

I miss the family members I had then, that were always in my life, that are now gone. I wish I could talk to them again. These last few years, going to the mid-late 2010s, have been very painful for me.

I miss hanging out with my friends. I rarely see them anymore, and now that they are moving on with life, it probably won't be like it was anymore.

Finally I miss some of the folks from here, that don't post much anymore. For the time they were here, they made me feel better.
I've been having similar feelings lately man. I wish there was a way to know you were IN the good old days before you left them.
 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World's_Billionaires#Statistics

~0.000033% of the worlds estimated population in 2023, are billionaires, with a combined net worth of $12.2 trillion
~0.0000076% of the worlds estimated population in 2000, were billionaires, with a combined net worth of $898 billion (~$1.588 trillion (inflation adjusted for year 2023)).

So, the wealth of billionaires has increased by about ~7.5x fold in about two decades.
From 2020-2021 it seems we saw the largest increase in billionaire wealth. --> +$5.1 Trillion

2000 ($898 billion) --> 2001 = ~ +$902 Billion [increase]
2001 ($1.8 trillion) --> 2002 = ~ -$300 Billion [decrease]
2002 ($1.5 trillion) --> 2003 = ~ -$100 Billion [decrease]
2003 ($1.4 trillion) --> 2004 = ~ +$500 Billion [increase]
2004 ($1.9 trillion) --> 2005 = ~ +$300 Billion [increase]
2005 ($2.2 trillion) --> 2006 = ~ +$400 Billion [increase]
2006 ($2.6 trillion) --> 2007 = ~ +$900 Billion [increase]
2007 ($3.5 trillion) --> 2008 = ~ +$900 Billion [increase]
2008 ($4.4 trillion) --> 2009 = ~ -$2 Trillion [decrease]
2009 ($2.4 trillion) --> 2010 = ~ +$1.2 Trillion [increase]
2010 ($3.6 trillion) --> 2011 = ~ +$900 Billion [increase]
2011 ($4.5 trillion)--> 2012 = ~ +$100 Billion [increase]
2012 ($4.6 trillion) --> 2013 = ~ +$800 Billion [increase]
2013 ($5.4 trillion) --> 2014 = ~ +$1 Trillion [increase]
2014 ($6.4 trillion) --> 2015 = ~ +$700 Billion [increase]
2015 ($7.1 trillion) --> 2016 = ~ -$600 Billion [decrease]
2016 ($6.5 trillion) --> 2017 = ~ +$1.2 Trillion [increase]
2017 ($7.7 trillion) --> 2018 = ~ +$2 Trillion [increase]
2018 ($9.1 trillion) --> 2019 = ~ -$400 Billion [decrease]
2019 ($8.7 trillion) --> 2020 = ~ -$700 Billion [decrease]
2020 ($8.0 trillion) --> 2021 = ~ +$5.1 Trillion [increase]
2021 ($13.1 trillion) --> 2022 = ~ -$400 Billion [decrease]
2022 ($12.7 trillion) --> 2023 = ~ -$500 Billion [decrease]
2023 ($12.2 trillion) -->
 
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World's_Billionaires#Statistics

~0.000033% of the worlds estimated population in 2023, are billionaires, with a combined net worth of $12.2 trillion
~0.0000076% of the worlds estimated population in 2000, were billionaires, with a combined net worth of $898 billion (~$1.588 trillion (inflation adjusted for year 2023)).

So, the wealth of billionaires has increased by about ~7.5x fold in about two decades.
From 2020-2021 it seems we saw the largest increase in billionaire wealth. --> +$5.1 Trillion

2000 ($898 billion) --> 2001 = ~ +$902 Billion [increase]
2001 ($1.8 trillion) --> 2002 = ~ -$300 Billion [decrease]
2002 ($1.5 trillion) --> 2003 = ~ -$100 Billion [decrease]
2003 ($1.4 trillion) --> 2004 = ~ +$500 Billion [increase]
2004 ($1.9 trillion) --> 2005 = ~ +$300 Billion [increase]
2005 ($2.2 trillion) --> 2006 = ~ +$400 Billion [increase]
2006 ($2.6 trillion) --> 2007 = ~ +$900 Billion [increase]
2007 ($3.5 trillion) --> 2008 = ~ +$900 Billion [increase]
2008 ($4.4 trillion) --> 2009 = ~ -$2 Trillion [decrease]
2009 ($2.4 trillion) --> 2010 = ~ +$1.2 Trillion [increase]
2010 ($3.6 trillion) --> 2011 = ~ +$900 Billion [increase]
2011 ($4.5 trillion)--> 2012 = ~ +$100 Billion [increase]
2012 ($4.6 trillion) --> 2013 = ~ +$800 Billion [increase]
2013 ($5.4 trillion) --> 2014 = ~ +$1 Trillion [increase]
2014 ($6.4 trillion) --> 2015 = ~ +$700 Billion [increase]
2015 ($7.1 trillion) --> 2016 = ~ -$600 Billion [decrease]
2016 ($6.5 trillion) --> 2017 = ~ +$1.2 Trillion [increase]
2017 ($7.7 trillion) --> 2018 = ~ +$2 Trillion [increase]
2018 ($9.1 trillion) --> 2019 = ~ -$400 Billion [decrease]
2019 ($8.7 trillion) --> 2020 = ~ -$700 Billion [decrease]
2020 ($8.0 trillion) --> 2021 = ~ +$5.1 Trillion [increase]
2021 ($13.1 trillion) --> 2022 = ~ -$400 Billion [decrease]
2022 ($12.7 trillion) --> 2023 = ~ -$500 Billion [decrease]
2023 ($12.2 trillion) -->
Here's a frightening stat:

The world’s eight richest individuals have as much wealth as the 3.6 billion people who make up the poorest half of the world, according to the latest Oxfam report.
 
I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm restless but have no energy, keep having fast emotional and mood swings and this ever present brain fog with only short moments of clarity. I'm eaten by insecurities. My memory is literally like a sieve. I can't recall names and whether I had something to eat or not. I and my self-pity :p
 
Actually ideas are everywhere. It's the paperwork, that is, sitting down and thinking them into a coherent story, trying to find just the right words, that can and usually does get to be labor

Fred Saberhagen
 
Depressed. I feel like I'm worse off than ever, having suffered multiple losses as well as several layoffs in the last few years but only now it's next to impossible to find a job in my field. I don't know why i even wake up and get out of bed when there's nothing worth waking up for.


I've been gone for several years and I don't know why I even came back here.
 
Feeling so tired, after moving mine and my brothers' stuff to the basement to avoid the heat, and I also ran a 3 miler today. And I slept poorly because of the heat.

Then I might have to move my stuff around again downstairs to keep my stuff out of the stupid sunlight coming in through the window wells. I'm too tired to deal with that right now.
 

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