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I remember my mother she was a lovely woman and most likely the most caring soul I have ever come across sadly she suffers from being bipolar and schizophrenic. She took her own life about 6 years ago.

Mother/mamma I miss jou to this day still and I wish you are in a better place now!
 
zwan said:
I remember my mother she was a lovely woman and most likely the most caring soul I have ever come across sadly she suffers from being bipolar and schizophrenic. She took her own life about 6 years ago.

Mother/mamma I miss jou to this day still and I wish you are in a better place now!

Hi Zwan -- Wondering how you're doing today & sad for your loss. LG:)
 
*hugs zwan*

I'm sorry, I'm sure she's at peace now



I'm feeling kinda of the mid week blues,
man I've been working sunday monday and tuesday had classes all day

I don't want to edit my essay I don't want to write another essay


it's a hard and sad realization that I'm pretty much always going to be writing essays for at least the next 3 years :(
 
I feel bored and restless I wish I dind't have to get up at 7 for work tomorrow, but it'll be good to have something to do I hope,

when do we get our paycheck I would very much like my checky
 
dude nightquill always does great for me when I need to sleep

i mean it's probably not a good habbit to get in to, but if you're desparate
 
What a different thread!

Right now?

Listening to schmaltzy country music through my tiny laptop speakers. It's old stuff... Really old stuff...

The music - any music - takes me back in time more easily than anything else. The recording playing right now is a sad old thing called "Hello Walls" by Faron Young.

The tune takes me back to a drive through the Great Dividing Range in Victoria, Australia. The year is 1962. President Kennedy is all in the news, and the Australian Prime Minister has been reiterating his undying love for the British sovereign, Queen Elizabeth II. He said of her, "I did but see her passing by, and yet I love her 'til I die..." He wasn't kidding!

This record was playing on 3UZ a popular station back in the sixties, and before anyone ever heard of FM. The car was a white 1960 FB Holden sedan that belonged to my aging great aunt. She thought she was being "hip" because she was playing this new, nonsensical music with words that were impossible to understand. That was 48 years ago, and "Hello Walls" was an "Oldie" even then.

The road, known as the Acheron Way, wove its way across the Range for eighty odd miles through fern forests similar to those you would see in The Hobbit. There were fords through shallow streams that ventured across the gravel highway, and the road alternated across the ridge across the top of the low mountains. As we crested the mountains and started a long, very slow descent, a valley appeared. It was as green as I imagined Kentucky Blue Grass would be. Old cabins dotted the valley, and a few sat precariously on the steep sides of the mountains on the far side of the valley. There, at that point, the song "Wolverton Mountain" came on. We were on our way to Warburton, and I thought the song might be about one of those cabins. My aging aunt didn't put a pin in my bubble, she encouraged the thought. In my child's young mind I imagined someone setting out right there, in that valley, to rescue his fair mountain maiden from her tyrant father.

The songs kept playing, and my mind kept wandering. I remember being sad when the gravel road ended and a sealed road with white lines and traffic replaced it. It ended my idyllic reverie...

I visited there again twice more. Once in 1980, and again in 1986. The road then was much as I had remembered, but the cabins were gone, replaced by huge homes with expensive outbuildings and landscaped gardens. They all seemed to have sweeping driveways where before they were little more than tracks cut by the wheels of wagons and narrow-tracked cars.

The last time I was there, in '86, as we neared the main highway, and I knew the gravel was about to end, an old man driving a horse-drawn dray blocked the road. He had hand-sawn timber on the dray, and he had a cat riding with him. A huge ginger tabby cat. It just sat there with its tail flicking from side to side and staring ahead. They were a pair to behold. On that trip I played cassettes of those old songs. It was nice...
 
ah man got sick this morning, had to leave work early :(

ca,e home and took a long nap, I'm feeling better now although I haven't eaten anything
hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow I feel bad for missing work though,

we were shelving the books, my favorite part
lol

have you ever felt too lazy to get out of bed to eat?

*sighs* I wish I had my own cateor I hate having to make my own food,

I mean do you have any idea how much effort goes into making a pb&j

I mean you have to get a plate, the bread pb&j, silverware then open everything and bread the pb&j on the bread,

oh god I'm tired just thinking about it,...............................


I also think I found the solution to nation wide obesity,

I should patent this!

lol jk ( sorry if I offended anyone)
 
I'm bored.
I'm feeling kind of creative, so maybe tomorrow I'll get my paints out again.
I'm lonely.
I'm tired, not just in the physical sense, but tired of everything, I don't want to live but I don't want to die either.

I don't know, I feel kind of blank/empty today, and not the good kind of emptiness.
 
i don't feel like a new year has just started.
you know it's like the feeling when you have a birthday and you feel the same at 23 years old as you felt a day ago at 22? just nothing happens..
so this christmas had zero affection on me.

broken_doll, blank and empty will fit me too right now
 
Wonderin' about the past year. Was a tuff one, and even 'tho I thought I'd have some proper rest and respite, I feel exhausted mentally and physically tired. Not that there weren't some good things thrown into the mix as well, it wasn't all bad...just mostly some very trying times. *Sigh*

Still, things have been on the up and up since December. My mood is finally out of the gutter, and I'm anxious to celebrate my not-dying-for-another-year soon. Gonna make a cake. Watch my favourite movie. Maybe indulge in some daydreamin', who knows. Hopin' I'll manage to have myself a good time on one of the very few festive occasions during the year that I actually feel are worth celebrating.

I wish I could offer some encouraging words to Sunny, but I've never been good at that sort of thing.
 
broken_doll & bread
thank you both
just knowing that someone notices is encouragement by itself
 
I am angry that I am lonely and bored much of the time, and I am hoping that someday my life will change...maybe I will meet someone after grieving my Husband for over 6 years of being without a long-term relationship.
 
i'm feeling kinda sad atm, i'm tired of working,

and why is it at 6pm i just want to go sleep but not at 10,11, 0r 12
 
i've been thinking of the past 24 years of having a family and kids. so many activities. life was so very busy. i thought this time of my life would be slow, but it was the busiest it ever was. and i loved it. then suddenly nothing. i have people, but i don't like to burden others, so i've been keeping to myself. i'll get past this and live again. then when i'm about to post here, my estranged wife texts me a link to a garth brooks video of "the dance". what do you do?
 
I'm feeling pretty sad right now

it was suppose to be sunny but it's cloudy

i've got another scheduling error i have to fix but the guy i have to met with hasn't been in his office the damn last two days,

and there is a solid 50 mile radios surrounding IC which is completely devoid of hot of gay chicks, I am ******* serious

I'm a geography major and i have mapped the coordinates the closest one is 51 miles away

seriously what is it with rock island IL?

ehh this isn't the worst I've felt, I'm just tired of the un-eventfulness and mediocracy of everyday

and i use to be a huge gammer, but I'm actuaully thinking of seeling most of my games, but I'm far too sentamental to sell my ps2,

but I don't play games much anymore, it's been a long time since I've really gotten into a game, I have no urge to play videogames nor do i really find much hedionsim inn playing them anymore

I always considered myself a huge hardcore gammer, and most of my friends in hs were gammers and we would game together and what not

but somehow without even trying that part of me has faded away i never though this would happen

but since I'm in colelge I'm moving a loot, I may have to move twice this summer, so if I sold a bunch of my games, it would be less i would have to pack and unpack and a chance to get some more needed money
 

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