What are you thinking right now?

[TheSkaFish]

Sick of using  this moral good guy facade to hide my boring, banal personality.

I'm in a similar boat.  I don't think it's a facade for me though.  For me it's more like, being a moral good guy doesn't work, but I don't know what to replace it with, I don't know how to be anything else while still being "myself".  It's like they say, being nice isn't enough anymore.  But I can't get into being macho, "hard", or rebellious even if I wanted to.  I know better than that, so I don't have an excuse.  

I feel like "nerdy" isn't enough either, even though it's more acceptable now than it used to be not that long ago.  And simply working and going home is also not enough.  You need to work, but you also need to have a personality, and these things seem almost opposite.  Being timid, meek, and mild as a guy gets  you nowhere, but most occupations don't help you cultivate much of a personality.  I'd say most of them all but stamp it out.  

And then to be anything more than nice, "nerdy", and just another guy that works and goes home, you need to actually be able to do something else.  I don't know if I even can do anything else no matter how hard I try, or if I just don't have enough natural ability to be anything more than nice, "nerdy", and normal. That's the question I worry about the most.

 

[kamya]

If you really think you need to work 2x harder than everyone else why not just do it then?

Being a moral nice guy isn't your problem. You have to know deep down what the real problem is. Do you really honestly think youve put in a ton of action and effort? Do you really honestly think everyone else out here has it easy? No setbacks or dead ends?

I just never sense any determination or drive in anything you write. I've never had the impression that you really have any kind of work ethic. I think you really need an underdog mentality to make it out here. For most of us mere mortals it seems to take a lot of resourcefulness, planning, adaptability, hard work, time, drive, and determination. Some of us are really sacrificing too much out here to make it work for you just come along and say "I could be there too but life hates me."

I definitely feel you have a lot of self limiting beliefs combined with an inability to adapt. I would say a serious lack of work ethic but I can't say for sure without really knowing you. It does seem that way.


I dunno man. You gotta figure something out soon. I definitely don't think being nice is the problem though.

Why does my font keep suddenly changing?

 

[ardour]

Sick of using  this moral good guy facade to hide my boring, banal personality.

I'm in a similar boat.  I don't think it's a facade for me though.  For me it's more like, being a moral good guy doesn't work, but I don't know what to replace it with, I don't know how to be anything else while still being "myself".  It's like they say, being nice isn't enough anymore.  But I can't get into being macho, "hard", or rebellious even if I wanted to.  I know better than that, so I don't have an excuse.  

I feel like "nerdy" isn't enough either, even though it's more acceptable now than it used to be not that long ago.  And simply working and going home is also not enough.  You need to work, but you also need to have a personality, and these things seem almost opposite.  Being timid, meek, and mild as a guy gets  you nowhere, but most occupations don't help you cultivate much of a personality.  I'd say most of them all but stamp it out.  

And then to be anything more than nice, "nerdy", and just another guy that works and goes home, you need to actually be able to do something else.  I don't know if I even can do anything else no matter how hard I try, or if I just don't have enough natural ability to be anything more than nice, "nerdy", and normal.  That's the question I worry about the most.

 "Just another guy that works and goes home" would be a step up for you. It's better than where you are, and it would improve your self-esteem.

 

[Wayfarer]

Hello, my friend ..

We write back to our past cause maybe we need some closure, or we expect things to be different this time. In a way, this is better for you cause now there is no doubt in you that person hasn't change and will not change and you will allow yourself to move on as you did everything you could to change things.

What I am thinking right now? I have progress in a positive way (still very slow) with my relationships with people. But my love life is worse than what it was years ago. But I don't know why I'm feeling so positive this time of taking all the time in the world  in other to begin a new relationship and just focus about my other passions.. School, hobbies, cooking, etc.

Oh hey, long time Hope you're doing ok, overall, still.

 

[TheSkaFish]

"Just another guy that works and goes home" would be a step up for you. It's better than where you are, and it would improve your self-esteem.

Some things would improve my self-esteem, while others would completely destroy it. But no matter what I do, as long as I'm just a normal person, it won't be enough. Nobody wants to hear about average stuff, that's boring like you said. They want stimulation and thrills.

Why do you feel your personality is "banal and boring?" If you don't want to be a moral good guy anymore, what do you want your personality to be like instead?

 

[Paraiyar]

"Just another guy that works and goes home" would be a step up for you.  It's better than where you are, and it would improve your self-esteem.

Some things would improve my self-esteem, while others would completely destroy it.  But no matter what I do, as long as I'm just a normal person, it won't be enough.  Nobody wants to hear about average stuff, that's boring like you said.  They want stimulation and thrills.

Why do you feel your personality is "banal and boring?"  If you don't want to be a moral good guy anymore, what do you want your personality to be like instead?

I dunno man, Einstein has that saying attributed to him that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a result is the definition of insanity. I just don't see what you're trying to accomplish and I really agree with Kamya at this point.

 

[ardour]

"Just another guy that works and goes home" would be a step up for you.  It's better than where you are, and it would improve your self-esteem.

Why do you feel your personality is "banal and boring?"  If you don't want to be a moral good guy anymore, what do you want your personality to be like instead?

 
Not sure but it feels false.

Plenty of average people working average jobs get into relationships. They developed other aspects to themselves others value, apart from seeming nice or decent. This ‘I’m outside of banal/everyday society’ thing you’ve concocted is another excuse.
Edit: Kamya's right...

 

[evanescencefan912]

oh great now my shoulder's hurting too, I feel so old

 

[VanillaCreme]

Why can't people do what they're supposed to... Oh, here's a number, but the person won't answer. Ever. So sick of people.

 

[Eliraven]

That maybe we are overthinking life too much.

 

[Volt]

I don't think i'm thinking enough.

 

[kamya]

I don't think i'm thinking enough.

Gotta think smarter not harder =p

 

[Volt]

I don't think i'm thinking enough.

Gotta think smarter not harder =p

That might be the problem.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Maybe you're thinkin too much.

 

[Yukongirl]

Well, there certainly are some angry people here...

 

[VanillaCreme]

I still want to go swimming.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

Maybe you're thinkin too much.

Wrong thread for that thought!  :club:

 

[TheRealCallie]

I still want to go swimming.

It's a refreshing 30 degrees out here.  C'mon over, I'll fill up the pool.  lol

 

[VanillaCreme]

I still want to go swimming.

It's a refreshing 30 degrees out here.  C'mon over, I'll fill up the pool.  lol

The pool is still filled here. I'm not sure if they drain it or not. They should to clean it. 45 degrees here right now. I'd still swim.

Oh no, 60 degrees. Phone didn't update quick enough.

 

[zibafu]

catching up on the walking dead... on season 5... dem beth feels man :'(