Well, the 21st was the one year mark since she left the first time........
Really don't know what I think or feel anymore......nothing.....but not the numbness like before.........it's just.......nothing.
I wish she would come back....but that will never happen.
Not once during that five month period did she ever initiate any conversation or anything, so why would she now? after I said goodbye.......but she knows how i feel. pfft, and still lied to and decieved me
The point is, she'd never take the chance I took.
But I can't help but hope that one day all that will mean something to her.
If I had a job a lot of things would fall in place and bills need to be paid or.......i don't know what'll happen.
At least I am consistently dragging my ass out of bed at 730 in the morning, except for the weekends, that needs to change
what else........i'm becoming extremely annoyed with my hair, i'm happy white collar, leverage, and burn notice are back so i have something to watch tues-thurs........brutal legend is an awesome game, especially for a metalhead like muh.
i crave so badly some female companionship, affection, intimacy, something to make me feel alive again......