VanillaCreme
Well-known member
How much I love you. And miss you. You're still here and we don't talk.
ewomack said:Just curious, what kind of electronics project? I've messed around with Arduino, Raspberry PI and other micro-controllers, but so far I'm managed to avoid soldering.
TheSkaFish said:Maybe the flipside is, avoiding this competition and unpleasantness and reality makes you unattractive. I sometimes wonder if part of my difficulty here is having a foot in both worlds, instead of putting both feet in the adult world, the world of competition, seriousness, reality, not fantasy. It's almost like time grabbed one of my feet and put it in the serious world, while I try to hold one of my feet in the world I don't want to leave behind, but it is drifting away.
ewomack said:Just curious, what kind of electronics project? I've messed around with Arduino, Raspberry PI and other micro-controllers, but so far I'm managed to avoid soldering.
AmyTheTemperamental said:TheSkaFish said:Maybe the flipside is, avoiding this competition and unpleasantness and reality makes you unattractive. I sometimes wonder if part of my difficulty here is having a foot in both worlds, instead of putting both feet in the adult world, the world of competition, seriousness, reality, not fantasy. It's almost like time grabbed one of my feet and put it in the serious world, while I try to hold one of my feet in the world I don't want to leave behind, but it is drifting away.
I was thinking about this, while cleaning at work. My thoughts have nothing to do with the thread it was posted in, so I am just going to post my thoughts here (sorry Ska, if this is weird lol).
The last few days, I've thought a lot about when I lived on a farm when I was 5 and younger. I spent the first few years of my life, away from people. I had my family, but there was no civil expectations. Sure, people visited. But my days were spent, carefree and just enjoying the world around me. There was no end to the things that I could explore. There was no end to where my imagination could go. I don't even remember watching movies at that time. I was so entranced with outside. I remember sitting in the barn, when Donna Lewis' "I Love You, Always Forever" played on the radio, and I thought that was the song of my life haha.
Of course, my parents occasionally brought the reality of the world in with their arguments. And their arguments were pretty **** bad. But there was always a place to escape.
When we moved, into the town where I would go to school, I didn't have that escape anymore. I went to school, where I mostly felt sick to my stomach. I wasn't a normal, socialized person. I laughed too loudly, I fidgeted. Most days, I would call home and beg my mom to come pick me up. She did for awhile, but then the school cut off my phone privileges. Evenings at home, were spent listening to my stepfather get drunk and fight worse than he ever had.
A little excitement returned to me, when he announced that we would be moving to the prairies, to start over. We did end up on an acreage for awhile, but everything felt so much more serious. My parents didn't have a lot of money, but my stepfather drank more than he had previously. He seemed to fight everyone. And small town Sask is unforgiving to drunks who fight everyone. I still didn't feel normal at school.
I think I have been searching for that escape for the last 23 years. I think I have realized, very painfully, that I'm not going to find it. Even in hobby attempts, and things that take my mind away momentarily, it's just not the same. I guess ignorance really was bliss.
Some days, I think I would be better off if I woke up in a LOTR movie. Life is tough.
TheSkaFish said:^I think he'd better demand his money back, and take it up with the Better Wizards Bureau! That wizard's license to do magic needs to be revoked.
AmyTheTemperamental said:TheSkaFish said:^I think he'd better demand his money back, and take it up with the Better Wizards Bureau! That wizard's license to do magic needs to be revoked.
I am looking for a business partner. I think both of us could figure out the "turn people invisible" part.
After full payment received, of course.
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