Well, that's the thing, they're not fine either, none of us are, save for maybe my brother, but he doesn't live here anymore and has difficulties of his own to deal with (though vastly different than our own difficulties).
Our lives were never awesome, but were at least livable before, and got a little better (though not as much as most other people around here, it seemed) as the '90s went on.
After that, apart from a few exceptions, it's almost only gotten worse, to the point that if something were to get better now, it would feel weird, like some kind of cartoon or dream, like this doesn't happen to us, it can't be real.
I feel bad arguing with my parents and draining their health. I don't really want to do it.
But at the same time, I feel like I have no outlet for my bad feelings.
And it frustrates me that, it's like, I can't say anything is wrong. I get shouted down immediately.
It's really frustrating that people would rather go with the narrative that I'm lazy, than acknowledge that I feel despair.
I wish I was just born good at things. Then I wouldn't have any of these problems at all. And maybe even those around me would have less problems too.
and i never talk like that ever
