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Well, at least somebody understands. <3

And you talk about food so often, we must love food as much too. :p
 
mass effect 3 trailer and gameplay demo! i love E3, its like my real christmas every year. lol

lmao... sony was hacked again. this time it was their film company website.
 
My hands smell like smoked paprika and dried chipotle. Still. I scrubbed them God knows how many times. For God's sake, don't let me rub my eyes!
 
what should i wear tomorrow? (debating between two different skirt / top combinations)
and
what should i eat right now? (ice cream or cheese and crackers?)
 
Yea I missed the sony one I think, there's still nintendo in 6hours, I'll be there! (there behind my computer watching that is).
 
FFFFFfFFFFfFfFFFFFFfUUuUUUUUUUuUUUUUUUU

I want to HEADBUTT contract law. ------_____-------
 
i really need some stress free down time. unfortunately down time for me usually means lonely time. so it ends up not being very relaxing or fun. i feel like life is constant stress, all the time.
 
why does it always come to.... that? i dont get it. the more people i get close to and the more people i meet, the more i am disappointed. maybe there is something ******* wrong with me. the more interaction i have with people the more i think i am truly alone in this world.
 
I'm so unbelievably annoyed! It's 2am, I went out to practice driving with my mom an hour ago because during this time there aren't many cars. Every single time I go out practicing with my mom, she ends up angrily yelling at me for no ******* reason, I always ask her,"What? What's the problem? What am I doing wrong? and she always says,"Nothing, you're not doing anything wrong, you're driving well." and yet every time she opens her ******* mouth she talks in such a bitchy angry voice! I'm so angry right now.

I was driving straight, that was all I was ******* doing, I just wanted to drive straight until the end of the ******* road but nooooo she told me to do a U-turn instead because she didn't want me continuing going straight because she didn't know that area and she kept yelling at me that there are probably a bunch of traffic if I keep going straight and that we might go to the ******* freeway and omg ******* hysteria and I kept telling her,"No, if I keep straight, I'll just meet the end of the road, there are no cars there!" but no she ******* didn't believe me, I kept telling her,"Just let me keep going straight until the end of the road, there aren't any cars there, it's FINE." but no she kept yelling at me to make a U-turn because she was freaking out that I might be wrong and that if I keep going straight I'm going to go in an area with high traffic when NO I KEPT TELLING HER, THERE ARE NO CARS THERE BECAUSE IT'S THE END OF THE ROAD but noooooo she just didn't ******* believe me!

Of course, I kept going straight and what did ya know, it's the ******* end of the road! SEE? But no she's so bitchy! Something as simple as going straight, she doesn't even let me. I wasn't feeling comfortable enough making a ******* U-turn, just let me go straight first *********!

The thing that pisses me off the most is that whenever she gives me driving practice, she freaks out for nothing! She just freaks the **** out, starts angrily yelling at me, her bitchiness makes me angry and loses my concentration and I start not driving well because of her fault! Even though I'm driving well, she STILL FREAKS OUT and so we start arguing because she's too ******* paranoid, even when there's a car behind me she freaks the **** out!

And then when I'm telling my sister about what happened, my mom twists the events to go against me, she starts acting all "innocent" and she starts talking in an unnatural calm voice saying that she was "calm" all along and that all she was said,"Oh you want to go straight, okay." when THAT IS A LIE! SHE'S A LIAR! When I told her I wanted to keep going straight, she kept BITCHING and telling me that NO I shouldn't go straight because she doesn't know where the road will lead whether to the freeway or whatever even though I kept telling her that it's the ******* end of the road and that there are no cars there but she wouldn't ******* believe me, she just continued bitching. Even when I got to the end of the road, she still kept bitching, bitching, bitching she's ALWAYS BITCHING. She can never give me driving practice without freaking the hell out! Even though I'm driving well, even though I'm not doing anything wrong, she still yells and freaks out and she makes my head hurt and my concentration all scattered!

On top of that, the brakes are probably not even working! The brakes kept making a loud noise and my dad doesn't even care! The brakes need to get checked and fixed, there's something wrong with the brakes and my dad just goes,"If you crash, it's okay because we have car insurance." he doesn't even care about our well being, to him it's okay if we crash because the insurance can pay for the car but my dad doesn't even care about what might happen if we crash and we are injured, he couldn't care less! That pisses me off, I couldn't even concentrate worrying so much that the brakes would ******* fail on top of that my mom bitching for NOTHING, my head freaking hurts and I'm pissed. Every single time I go practicing with her, we always argue like this, it pisses me off and I end up feeling like I just wasted my time, that I went through all that drama yet I didn't accomplish anything productive!

I already spent a year trying to learn how to drive but parents can't even be bothered, my dad is never around and my mom never feels like giving me practice and the very rare occasions that she does give me practice, she always makes me angry! Always starts an argument with me, always starts freaking out and getting things waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of proportion with EVERYTHING, even when I'm just driving and there's a car behind me....SO WHAT? No she starts freaking out when there's no ******* reason to.
 
thinking about the fight of finding my way

I've been so lost out here. I'll be 30 soon and I still don't know what I want to do with myself career wise. My current job feels so unstable now, and I have no one to lean on financially. I think I know I want my own business, but I can't come up with any feasible ideas that I'd actually be passionate about. If I could just get to that point, then I think the passion alone would drive me to figure the rest out. I know I'm capable of doing the research and getting things flowing... but WHAT?!?!?!


And I'm thinking about love. This situation I'm in comes with a sickening combination of highs and lows. Before coming here just now, I was imagining our wedding...

...wow!
But long before that can happen, I'll need to get over this hump of finding out if she's even interested in me beyond friendship. For all the positive signs, there are some signs that, while not completely negative, definitely constitute pessimism.
 

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