What I want from 2023

[CenotaphGirl]

I have been home for 30 mins, thank you NHS.
I am back with a new diagnosis to add to my extensive list...
Not sure if I should just laugh at this point lol

I decided I want 2023 to be the year I explore every corner of my heart and mind. I want to be an absolute saint. I wont hurt a single person, I wont have an opinion (yeah me… we’ll see how that goes lol) but honestly, I just want one year of my life where I live it solely for everyone else. Not me. No mirrors, no pictures, no nothing (okay hair extensions…. I must at least have that) but hair colour and length aside, I want a year to get to know myself.

Sometimes I feel like I am just a rabbit in a factory, covered in labels, pumped full of medication. But… still cute… (okay, okay, being serious this time) still afraid, afraid of the damage I can do when left to my own devices, my own choices.

Christmas is that time of year I wish they had an adoption support group, it’s hard to talk to people that have a family sometimes, they complain about Christmas with the parents when you would give your vital organs to have that, to have somewhere you are welcome on Christmas. I dont know… it’s tough. I hate making my friends feel like they cant vent to me, but sometimes I wanna scream "you have everythinggggg but you look at pointless ****, and want that… designer bags, clothes, guys, will all still be here when your parents are bones… in the graveyard". Too much? Yeah.. too much. So instead I say, what.. no way… must be so hard… eating with your family… I cant imagine…

Honestly you really do not need to respond to these ramblings (but I appreciate every response), this site it my open diary/ place to be a little mischievous and well… just putting it out there incase there is anyone that feels like me. It’s easy to feel alone on this ball…

Random question of the day, if sea water was not salty, and was pure, could 7 billion people drink all of it at once?

 

[user 135067]

The volume of the sea is more than that of the land, So no. (It's 8 billion now) We donot cover the land complete. We could not drink the oceans.

As for the other stuff, good for you. I find self reflection upon me often. Be kind and kindness will find you. Sometimes that's even true.

Happy New Year. I wish 2023 to be your best year so far.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

If you haven't heard of Joseph Campbell, you may enjoy his, "The Hero With a Thousand Faces," if you're up for some... intellectual introspection.
There is also several books by Russ Harris, one of his books is called, "The Happiness Trap," I believe. I haven't finished it, myself...

Be kind, and gentle with yourself. It's tough enough out there, some times.

We're all still learning, one day, at a time.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

The volume of the sea is more than that of the land, So no. (It's 8 billion now) We donot cover the land complete. We could not drink the oceans.

As for the other stuff, good for you. I find self reflection upon me often. Be kind and kindness will find you. Sometimes that's even true.

Happy New Year. I wish 2023 to be your best year so far.

See my facts and stats are out of date! But I just think, if we all gave it our best effort, could we not just drink it all, crazy to think! lol

If you haven't heard of Joseph Campbell, you may enjoy his, "The Hero With a Thousand Faces," if you're up for some... intellectual introspection.
There is also several books by Russ Harris, one of his books is called, "The Happiness Trap," I believe. I haven't finished it, myself...

Be kind, and gentle with yourself. It's tough enough out there, some times.

We're all still learning, one day, at a time.

2023 is the year of kindness and everything but love and men lol The happiness trap sounds really good actually, I shall read that in Starbucks

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

View attachment 6509

I have been home for 30 mins, thank you NHS.
I am back with a new diagnosis to add to my extensive list...
Not sure if I should just laugh at this point lol

I decided I want 2023 to be the year I explore every corner of my heart and mind. I want to be an absolute saint. I wont hurt a single person, I wont have an opinion (yeah me… we’ll see how that goes lol) but honestly, I just want one year of my life where I live it solely for everyone else. Not me. No mirrors, no pictures, no nothing (okay hair extensions…. I must at least have that) but hair colour and length aside, I want a year to get to know myself.

Sometimes I feel like I am just a rabbit in a factory, covered in labels, pumped full of medication. But… still cute… (okay, okay, being serious this time) still afraid, afraid of the damage I can do when left to my own devices, my own choices.

Christmas is that time of year I wish they had an adoption support group, it’s hard to talk to people that have a family sometimes, they complain about Christmas with the parents when you would give your vital organs to have that, to have somewhere you are welcome on Christmas. I dont know… it’s tough. I hate making my friends feel like they cant vent to me, but sometimes I wanna scream "you have everythinggggg but you look at pointless ****, and want that… designer bags, clothes, guys, will all still be here when your parents are bones… in the graveyard". Too much? Yeah.. too much. So instead I say, what.. no way… must be so hard… eating with your family… I cant imagine…

Honestly you really do not need to respond to these ramblings (but I appreciate every response), this site it my open diary/ place to be a little mischievous and well… just putting it out there incase there is anyone that feels like me. It’s easy to feel alone on this ball…

Random question of the day, if sea water was not salty, and was pure, could 7 billion people drink all of it at once?

Don't do that to yourself.
It's one thing to give back, especially if you feel either guilty or disconnected, but it's another thing entirely to just leave yourself wholly open for a year for others to casually walk into your life and take advantage of you. So, don't drop your walls, but maybe install a door instead. I call it the 60/40 Ratio: Where you make the honest effort to put yourself into it, but also at the same time you hold a percentage of yourself back in case someone has some less than stellar malign agendas to approach you with so that you can quickly exile them.

Traditionally, I hate the holidays.
I usually have to be drunk, stoned, or tripping or some combination thereof just to be around my family for that long. I'm glad they're alive though. We fight like the Titans and the Olympians, to a point that it puts the finality itself at question, but I'm glad that I have them even if they're super incredibly ****** up and are responsible for a great deal of my personal traumas. Because what I have come to learn to understand with time is that people on average do not explore the depths of themselves to the fullest extent that they can the way that I try to do. And in all actuality, most of the time a person's inner workings will usually send them running scared in the exact opposite direction. Doesn't matter if that person is young or old, fat or fit, man or woman, black, white, asian, or latino. That's just how the human mind works beneath the stresses of our social constructionism.

This is, actually probably the first Christmas in 20 years that I'm less bothered by Christmas. I think in part that has to do with my age and growth, as well as a bunch of family **** hitting the fan and well, when the cat is out of the bag, the cat is out of the bag. I intend to do it stone cold sober. Might have a single small victory drink, purely in celebration as a retail manager that the Category 5 Shitstorm is finally over and I can resume a more constructed yearly planning again, but otherwise, yeah, a drive for more frequent sobriety is why I don't partake or bend under stress to my indulgences anymore.

 

[Finished]

It's good to set goals. I hope you include becoming healthier as a long term strategy. It can make your other goals easier to achieve. As always I wish you well!

 

[BeyondShy]

View attachment 6509


I decided I want 2023 to be the year I explore every corner of my heart and mind. I want to be an absolute saint. I wont hurt a single person, I wont have an opinion (yeah me… we’ll see how that goes lol) but honestly, I just want one year of my life where I live it solely for everyone else. Not me. No mirrors, no pictures, no nothing (okay hair extensions…. I must at least have that) but hair colour and length aside, I want a year to get to know myself.

Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? You make it sound noble but you and no one else would last a day.

Random question of the day, if sea water was not salty, and was pure, could 7 billion people drink all of it at once?

7 billion minus one. I'll stick to bottled water.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Christmas is that time of year I wish they had an adoption support group

https://consideringadoption.com/adopted/adoptee-support/adoptee-support-groups/
Maybe you mean local support groups, but this is a start. I would look around. They have support groups for everything these days, I bet there is something in your area.

 

[user15010]

Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? You make it sound noble but you and no one else would last a day.

Cenotaphgirl doesn't sound ridiculous at all. But I guess you know her better.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Random question of the day, if sea water was not salty, and was pure, could 7 billion people drink all of it at once?

Okay, so, apparently each person, on average needs about 5 liters of water a day. So that would mean the world population would need at least 35 billion liters of water every day.
As there are about 1233.91 quintillion liters of water in the world, the answer is no. I mean, I used "need" instead of "able to" but I think the difference in the two numbers shows it would not be possible.

Clearly you can see I didn't use American sources for my information because if I had, the amounts would be in gallons. lol

 

[TheRealCallie]

Cenotaphgirl doesn't sound ridiculous at all. But I guess you know her better.

I think he means that it's ridiculous to expect to live 100% selflessly and not hurt anyone. It's not possible for anyone.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Okay, so, apparently each person, on average needs about 5 liters of water a day. So that would mean the world population would need at least 35 billion liters of water every day.
As there are about 1233.91 quintillion liters of water in the world, the answer is no. I mean, I used "need" instead of "able to" but I think the difference in the two numbers shows it would not be possible.

Clearly you can see I didn't use American sources for my information because if I had, the amounts would be in gallons. lol

Now you’re going to think im being sarcastic but lol I genuinely thought Americans used Gallons to refer to hats I cant be the only oneeee, i worked out there and everything never once noticed the word Gallon

Cenotaphgirl doesn't sound ridiculous at all. But I guess you know her better.

Honestly maybe some of it is lol My sense of humour falls flat on ALL. They must read my posts in the most monotone way of all time

 

[TheRealCallie]

Now you’re going to think im being sarcastic but lol I genuinely thought Americans used Gallons to refer to hats

Only in Texas.

 

[Black Rose]

It would be great if there were a simple heart emoji here. That aside, I think you are a beautiful person for wanting to give so much to others. It sounds like you have been through a lot. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I do know that some of the most beautiful people I know have gone through a lot of extraordinary pain and loss. Sometimes that pain can catapult someone into being a great light for humanity.
The part you wrote about being left to your own devices reminded me of something someone once told me. Sometimes we learn ways to help us survive, and later those ways hurt us more than they help. It may not speak to you, but it was a reminder for me. Thank you.
I wish you well on your journey of 2023 and I will be watching for updates. I believe a few are gathering her for Christmas in chat. I hope you can, too.

 

[maybetrollingmaybenot]

Many of the things I'm planning for next year can easily kill me and backfire (literally sometimes) but I'm still doing them, just ordered several lasers for example. None of them is immoral though and shouldn't harm others so it's ok.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It would be great if there were a simple heart emoji here. That aside, I think you are a beautiful person for wanting to give so much to others. It sounds like you have been through a lot. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I do know that some of the most beautiful people I know have gone through a lot of extraordinary pain and loss. Sometimes that pain can catapult someone into being a great light for humanity.
The part you wrote about being left to your own devices reminded me of something someone once told me. Sometimes we learn ways to help us survive, and later those ways hurt us more than they help. It may not speak to you, but it was a reminder for me. Thank you.
I wish you well on your journey of 2023 and I will be watching for updates. I believe a few are gathering her for Christmas in chat. I hope you can, too.

Wow that was so powerful, spoke loads to me, thanks for taking the time to write something beautiful you are a kind soul

Many of the things I'm planning for next year can easily kill me and backfire (literally sometimes) but I'm still doing them, just ordered several lasers for example. None of them is immoral though and shouldn't harm others so it's ok.

Please be careful! Btw are you American?

 

[maybetrollingmaybenot]

Please be careful! Btw are you American?

I am not but it sounded kind of like "Since you're stupid, are you American?" . Kidding.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I am not but it sounded kind of like "Since you're stupid, are you American?" . Kidding.

If I unintentionally imply one more thing on this site im gonna dye my hair green

 

[BeyondShy]

Cenotaphgirl doesn't sound ridiculous at all. But I guess you know her better.

No I don't and I don't want to either.

I think he means that it's ridiculous to expect to live 100% selflessly and not hurt anyone. It's not possible for anyone.

And that is all I meant. I am sure she will live the best way she can but achieving this is impossible.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

No I don't and I don't want to either.


And that is all I meant. I am sure she will live the best way she can but achieving this is impossible.

Lol hmm…thats just what someone who wants to know me would say… well that and constantly try to engage with me… good thing you aren’t doing the latter as people would start to talk…