What Is Life Without A Friend?

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Life without a friend has been my lot for many years. I have a close relationship with my sister, however, as a male there are obviously a number of things that will not be talked about. And I'm not saying a male friend is the solution, for a few personal reasons. There are just things you should never talk about with family, and female ones to boot. After many years of working on myself with various therapists and psychiatrist, I can more readily see there may be some advantage to having someone else to talk to. But in person I am so self conscious and awkward, and I thought this was as good of place as any. Will it help? No clue. But can't be worse than my present situation.
 
Feeling truly lonely. Sad, forgotten and alone. Not one person to talk to or to be with. No one to comfort me and to tell things will be ok. I just want to eat my feelings but I've done so well in losing 14lbs I don't want to gain them back. I quit drinking and going to the pubs and right now I can't remember why I quit, I at least got attention and could talk to others and share a giggle. I day dream of having a friend to share things with and more importantly, someone who thinks enough of me to share their things with.
I am in my 60's and can honestly say I've never had a "friend" in my life. I truly do not know the meaning of that word. Could not begin to define "friendship."
 
My friends are everything to me, can't imagine life with no friends, that has got to be difficult. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a lonely wreck when it comes to any so called "love life", just another dime a dozen middle aged guy that did nothing with his life other than simply exist to this point...I suppose I'm one of the many men that believe nature just dealt us a cruel hand (lack of any physical attractiveness) and tried in vain for decades but just couldn't overcome the hand I was (nt) dealt.

That said, it's not all bad! Friends can fill the void and just about be enough to make it through life without romance. A few years back after experiencing yet another "no thanks" moment when asking a lady out I finally saw the light bulb come on (that I think many of us ultimately do), and had my "I'm done with that" revelation. It finally became clear to me, I'm only good enough for "friend material" when it comes to women, never been seen as bf or husband material and never will - and I'm ok with that. If the friend zone with women is all I'm cut out for than so be it! I embraced that and stopped fighting it. Now I have so many friends, many of them women, that I barely have days/nights/weekends when I'm alone. It seems like I'm always going on trips, doing things, etc with people. My friends are everything to me. No romance of course, and that sucks, but it has always been that way and at least now I have a life where I feel it's worth continuing (haven't always felt that way).

A great dog and a **** ton of good friends is damn near good enough to get a guy through life I'm convinced. I just had to toss out the idea of any of those women being into me beyond friendship and make no advances to screw anything up and boom - I'm hanging in there now. Friends are where it's at for me.
 
No friends are better than bad friends. "Better alone than with fools." That's at least one possible consolation. I've had plenty of bad friends who I've cut ties with because they gradually made my life miserable. Some of them started out as close friends as well. Friends can come with blessings and curses. That said, one should continue to seek out good friends. They give you something to lose, but they also remain worthwhile for the time that you know them.
 
Life without a friend is very calm with zero drama. It's also empowering knowing that I'm the only one that will ever help me. So it forces me to become wiser and more knowledgable in many areas then I would otherwise need to be.
 

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