What life lessons did you learn the hard way?

[user 139760]

Careful not to fall *** first on a broom.

That's a hard lesson.

 

[user 139760]

Careful not to fall *** first on a broom.

That's a hard lesson.

This may have come out as more serious than as jokish as I intended

 

[Adamridge79]

For me. I just hi jack any mediocre thread. And just say...'for the any whatever...post something'

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

- Solidarity is more viable when you're introverted than chronic conflict for the sake of survivalism.
- Basically nobody has your best interest in mind in life, except you.
- Fear and Pain are what dominate and rule over peoples lives, and while this should not be, it is unfortunately the factor that makes people make decisions.
- Peace is only ever temporary, but learning to choose what is and is not worth your battles is very damned important.
- Alcohol absolutely has long term effects on the body.
- If you think "that won't happen to me," so does everybody else, and in all actuality it can and does happen to people. Don't let it happen to you.

 

[Unsigned]

- Basically nobody has your best interest in mind in life, except you.

- 100% agree

- Alcohol absolutely has long term effects on the body.

- Unfortunately it affects the mind even worse. And I know this first hand.

 

[user 139760]

- Solidarity is more viable when you're introverted than chronic conflict for the sake of survivalism.
- Basically nobody has your best interest in mind in life, except you.
- Fear and Pain are what dominate and rule over peoples lives, and while this should not be, it is unfortunately the factor that makes people make decisions.
- Peace is only ever temporary, but learning to choose what is and is not worth your battles is very damned important.
- Alcohol absolutely has long term effects on the body.
- If you think "that won't happen to me," so does everybody else, and in all actuality it can and does happen to people. Don't let it happen to you.

Actually, I'll put some bemols on the second. But that might be just because I'm a notable *****. I've been self-sacrificing with some people in the past to wonder if I'm wired wrong. Must be a side effect of the Superman Syndrome.

And that last one really hits home. Though that last part, don't let it happen to you, is sometimes out of your hands. It makes dealing with the fallout much more complicated.

If I may add something of my own unrelated to the above post, an actual life lesson that I try to hold true that's benefited me in the past, sometimes caused problems, but has helped me pull through many things. It's actually a quote from a movie, but I still find it to be true.
"Never give up. Never surrender."

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

- Unfortunately it affects the mind even worse. And I know this first hand.

I know. I'm a recovered alcoholic. But does effect the mind and brain badly as well. My immune system is totally blown out by the heavy drinking I did in my 20s. It's frustrating, because I couldn't drink like that if I tried to these days. But yeah, there's a blues guitarist who used to drink a lot when she played, in part because she was really influenced by Janis, and everybody knows Janis was on her So.Co. Anyway, the lady slipped one day in her living room while practicing and hit her head on the corner of her fireplace. But because of the amount of alcohol in her system, her brain actually swelled and she had to have the fluid drained and have a metal plate surgically put in. I'm really fortunate nothing like that ever happened to me. I get sick two or three times easier than I used to, so I have to keep up with my flu shots and whatnot, but otherwise I'm alright.

Actually, I'll put some bemols on the second. But that might be just because I'm a notable *****. I've been self-sacrificing with some people in the past to wonder if I'm wired wrong. Must be a side effect of the Superman Syndrome.

And that last one really hits home. Though that last part, don't let it happen to you, is sometimes out of your hands. It makes dealing with the fallout much more complicated.

If I may add something of my own unrelated to the above post, an actual life lesson that I try to hold true that's benefited me in the past, sometimes caused problems, but has helped me pull through many things. It's actually a quote from a movie, but I still find it to be true.
"Never give up. Never surrender."

"Every man can be a Superman" is actually written on my office wall at work, in a drawing my employee did of Superman.
I am not.
I just have ironic luck.
This is how my luck goes.

 

[Kar]

1. You can't fix other people.
2. Focus on what you can do.
3. Be more accepting of yourself and your flaws. I'm not saying ignore them, but try your best to overcome them but accept where you are at in the journey.
4. Pay off your debts sooner
5. Don't be so afraid of failing. Take more risks in life and especially socially.

 

[TheSkaFish]

That a male, especially, has to achieve. A guy has to get good at something.
It's OK to not worry about it that much in boyhood, and to just enjoy being a kid while you can - another life lesson in and of itself.
The only penalty you'll suffer is that you probably won't be "cool", but if that doesn't bother you, it's not a big deal.
However, as soon as you reach adolescence, you really need to start being concerned with achieving, if you haven't already.

It is not optional.
It is not only for people with certain interests, cultural or educational backgrounds, body types, brain/mind types, or personality types.
It is not an extra, a "bonus level", or "nice to have or to do if you can, but OK if you can't".
It is required.

I'm not saying that women can't, or shouldn't achieve, or "back in the kitchen", or anything stupid like that either. Achieving is good for anyone, men or women, kids or adults, it makes you more capable and also more interesting, it gives you identity and personality/makes you one clear type of person or another, or at least makes you distinctly something, and it makes you feel better about yourself, more confidence, self-esteem, pride and dignity, interest in and liking yourself instead of only being interested in other people and things outside of yourself and your life, and wishing you could be someone else who could think and do more interesting things.

It's more like, if a woman achieves, that's great, I don't mean to take it away or diminish it, but it's that if she doesn't, it won't be held that much against her.
On the other hand, if a man doesn't achieve, it is held against him, it counts against him a lot, he is punished for it severely and harshly.
If a woman achieves, she is above normal.
But a man has to achieve JUST to be normal - not to win, but just to be in the game/on the board/on the team at all.

I've seen it many times in my life, and in society at large - from popularity in school/with your peers, all the way to business, entertainment, and government - for a man to not achieve, to not have a strength, to be powerless and ineffectual, is considered worse than being EVIL. A strong, capable, but evil person is still seen as strong and capable and given some respect because they have power, even if they aren't liked. A weak, incapable person is not taken seriously, insulted and humiliated, treated dismissively and contemptuously, regardless of how moral they are. I'm not saying this because I think it's right, or that I like that it's this way, I think it's wrong and I hate it - but it seems to be this way regardless.

I used to think it was OK to just be, to just like what you like, to just live your life.
I used to think people just were the way they were, the way they turned out randomly.
I didn't know there were all these unwritten rules you had to follow.

I used to think that most people didn't seem like achievers, most people seemed to just stay stuck at the same level of ability that they were born with year after year, only doing some ordinary job and being a fan of sports and entertainment stars and their achievements, so they wouldn't expect you to do or be more than that either.

Finally I just didn't WANT to believe it - I didn't want to believe life was competition because it seemed dark, ugly, cold, cruel, and sinister. I thought, and still think, that it's morally wrong and uncivilized, savage, backwards, to say that "might makes right", that some people are better than others just because of what they were born with or how much money they have (usually because of what they were born with) and not because of their character. It all seemed like it depended on what you were born with. I was willfully ignorant that life was competition. I didn't want it to be, both because I didn't feel like I could compete, and I didn't think I should have to, I thought we should have outgrown it by now and we should be free to make our lives about what we want to make them about instead of having the purpose of life dictated to us.

I only wish I realized how life really worked at 16, rather than 36 - and I wish I could feel like there was something I could do about it.
But feeling like it's all down to the dumb luck of genetic talent, is what always made me feel like there was nothing I could do.

 

[ardour]

That a male, especially, has to achieve. A guy has to get good at something.
It's OK to not worry about it that much in boyhood, and to just enjoy being a kid while you can - another life lesson in and of itself.
The only penalty you'll suffer is that you probably won't be "cool", but if that doesn't bother you, it's not a big deal.
However, as soon as you reach adolescence, you really need to start being concerned with achieving, if you haven't already.

It is not optional.
It is not only for people with certain interests or personality types.
It is not an extra, a "bonus level", or "nice to have or to do if you can, but OK if you can't".
It is required.

I'm not saying that women can't, or shouldn't achieve, or "back in the kitchen", or anything stupid like that either. Achieving is good for anyone, men or women, kids or adults, it makes you more capable and also more interesting, it gives you identity and personality/makes you one clear type of person or another, or at least makes you distinctly something, and it makes you feel better about yourself, more confidence, self-esteem, pride and dignity, interest in and liking yourself instead of only being interested in other people and wishing you could be someone else who could think and do more interesting things.

It's more like, if a woman achieves, that's great, but if she doesn't, it won't be held that much against her.
But if a man doesn't achieve, it is held against him, it counts against him a lot, he is punished for it severely and harshly.
If a woman achieves, she is above normal.
But a man has to achieve JUST to be normal - not to win, but just to be in the game/on the board/on the team at all.

I've seen it many times in my life, and in society at large - from popularity in school, all the way to business, entertainment, government, politics - for a man to not achieve, to not have a strength, to be powerless and ineffectual, is considered worse than being evil.

I used to think it was OK to just be, to just like what you like, to just live your life.
I used to think people just were the way they were, the way they turned out randomly.
I didn't know there were all these unwritten rules you had to follow.

I only wish I realized this at 16, rather than 36 - and I wish I could feel like there was something I could do about it.
But feeling like it's all down to the dumb luck of genetic talent, is what always made me feel like there was nothing I could do.

This is something I wished I learnt early too. A man needs to be remarkable in at least a few respects just to be considered average overall. Every day I wasted on Final Fantasy games was a day not spent making myself into what was necessary. The odd woman who can accept less than this would appear to have issues and I'm not willing to go with such a person.

Of course people will argue that men should view women similarly, that the obsession with ***/attractiveness is the main reason they don't, but it seems like we're hardwired differently. It would be nice if she had passions and interests and a good career going, but not a requirement.

 

[user 135671]

Drop D isn't the only way to tune a guitar.

 

[Unsigned]

It would be nice if she had passions and interests and a good career going, but not a requirement.

I'd be fine with a HS dropout diner waitress who wants me to completely support her -- as long as she is under 30, petite and has a very pretty face.

But alas...


EDIT:
And doesn't have kids...

 

[August Campbell]

I learned that you can't make someone love you,like you want them to love you.

Important lesson, I agree 100%. In fact, essential. We have to respect differences.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I learned you shouldn't consider just anyone worthy of your time… even worthy of your presence. Me being present is a present You’re welcome

 

[Adamridge79]

Pretty much all of them. I am a stupid, stubborn man