What would you do if your boyfriend played video games all day long

[TheLonelySkeptic]

In that sense, boys don't just "turn off" to a woman that they love, or at least I don't. When he comes home from work, how do you treat him? Do you have the compulsion to complain as soon as he steps foot in the house? Do you nag about things any objective person would find minuscule? Or do you wrap your arms around him and thank him for hauling his *** out of bed every day and going to work?
But from what I've read, all you do is expect to receive, but what have you done to give? Boys don't just need to be turned on sexually, we need to be turned on EMOTIONALLY too!

Well one thing I've learned is it's hard to judge someone through ink. Am I one who talks about what is bothering me. Yes, sorry I wasn't raised in the stone age where it was acceptable for women to be seen and not heard. Quite the contrary of what you think. As mentioned,,again..I JUST recently stopped working. So the only thing different is I don't work. I still do everything else I was doing then now...Again the only change is I'm not leaving my home to punch a clock. I still wash the clothes, cook dinner, clean the house, feed the dogs, fold the clothes, mow the lawn (yes, I mow the lawn) even when I was working ( I was the one mowing the lawn) I fix the things in the house when they break.. and if I can't fix them I call someone in who can. I handle the phone calls whether it be to our utility companies or making appts. So how am asking for a little undivided attention nagging? Seriously.... I get his clothes ready for him for work every night and even bring him his towel.

When he arrives in the a.m. from work I kiss him, tell him I made coffee, ask would you like some..and what would you like to have for breakfast. I by no means am a slacker. If I happen to be asleep at night or know that I'm tired I make sure he has all the items he needs to get ready to leave for work..his glasses...which he constantly looses...his badge to get in the door at work..(he looses that all the time too)..and his keys.. I also leave him notes stating how he is appreciated for all he does..and all he does is work..again..my million dollar duties still remain...except I am not bringing in my 900 dollar paychecks anymore. I am constantly giving.. this is why I am hurt so much about him giving back. He only does one thing and that is work. Everything else I do. Again, before I stopped working and now that I'm not. Have I been guilty of flying off at the handle and getting upset. You're damn skippy I have. Why? Well ****, glad you asked....I'm ******* hurt. So please...excuse the fact that I forgot to sound sensitive during my posting...

He has said that he has a problem conversing with anyone. That even knowing he has to his face turns red and he can feel it as its about to happen and when it's in full bloom. He's not outgoing and again quite the contrary...I am. He hates that about me and loves it at the same time. He told me the other day that I'm everything he's not. He tells me over and over that he will do whatever is necessary to keep me because he knows he procrastinates everything...but it only lasts for a day or two and back to reality....There was so much more involved when I posted this post. When you are looking for people to talk with and have a bit of stress taken off, you try to narrow it down.

The job he has he was fired from also. He's now been with them for three years. But in the beginning when he first started they fired him for stuff he did when he was just a teen. I told him that it was unacceptable for them to pass judgment on him for what he did in his past. So, I wrote a letter to the owner of the company explaining the mistake they made and gave an outline of his many accomplishments since that unfortunate time in his life. They hired him back... So yea my friend..I'm a woman who is in her mans corner. Working against him is only me working against myself. I may not have the answers right now...but that doesn't make me stupid...

I guess if you heard me talk and my accent you would really think I was a *****. Most people do until they get to know me. I say that because I have a very thick New York accent.. and that is not embraced well in the south.. In New York no prob...everyone sounds the same..so I guess at times when I write...I sound the same.. Hope that clears up a few things for you.

It's more than just the video games here...it's about him being there period.

There's no need to get upset; I merely asked you questions, I didn't accuse you of anything. By your description of your boyfriend, I said before, he sounds a lot like your typical case of clinical depression. Is he on medication? Has he seen a psychiatrist (NOT a psychologist -- those guys are jokes) recently? If not, perhaps it's time he go to one. And perhaps you and he should both see a relationship councilor, if you can afford it.

From your description, your boyfriend shows a few tell-tale signs of a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with borderline personalities have trouble expressing their feelings through voice or text, and this can often be misconstrued as apathy or outright resentment. It's not. I think you should consider all the options, here, is what I'm suggesting. You sound like a very strong and determined woman. That's good. But there may be some serious underlying psychological issues here that go deeper than just "laziness." I suggest you consult a professional, talking to a ****** bag like me can only do so much over the internet.

P.S. I'm not entirely sure how implying your lack of a job makes me out to be a guy who believes a woman should be "seen and not heard." I'm not a chauvinist. But there is a particular way that men respond to women: most men enjoy knowing that their women think them the greatest thing in the world.

 

[SighX99]

you can try to arouse him sexually, if he doesn't even look at you, threaten to dump him.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

In that sense, boys don't just "turn off" to a woman that they love, or at least I don't. When he comes home from work, how do you treat him? Do you have the compulsion to complain as soon as he steps foot in the house? Do you nag about things any objective person would find minuscule? Or do you wrap your arms around him and thank him for hauling his *** out of bed every day and going to work?
But from what I've read, all you do is expect to receive, but what have you done to give? Boys don't just need to be turned on sexually, we need to be turned on EMOTIONALLY too!

Well one thing I've learned is it's hard to judge someone through ink. Am I one who talks about what is bothering me. Yes, sorry I wasn't raised in the stone age where it was acceptable for women to be seen and not heard. Quite the contrary of what you think. As mentioned,,again..I JUST recently stopped working. So the only thing different is I don't work. I still do everything else I was doing then now...Again the only change is I'm not leaving my home to punch a clock. I still wash the clothes, cook dinner, clean the house, feed the dogs, fold the clothes, mow the lawn (yes, I mow the lawn) even when I was working ( I was the one mowing the lawn) I fix the things in the house when they break.. and if I can't fix them I call someone in who can. I handle the phone calls whether it be to our utility companies or making appts. So how am asking for a little undivided attention nagging? Seriously.... I get his clothes ready for him for work every night and even bring him his towel.

When he arrives in the a.m. from work I kiss him, tell him I made coffee, ask would you like some..and what would you like to have for breakfast. I by no means am a slacker. If I happen to be asleep at night or know that I'm tired I make sure he has all the items he needs to get ready to leave for work..his glasses...which he constantly looses...his badge to get in the door at work..(he looses that all the time too)..and his keys.. I also leave him notes stating how he is appreciated for all he does..and all he does is work..again..my million dollar duties still remain...except I am not bringing in my 900 dollar paychecks anymore. I am constantly giving.. this is why I am hurt so much about him giving back. He only does one thing and that is work. Everything else I do. Again, before I stopped working and now that I'm not. Have I been guilty of flying off at the handle and getting upset. You're damn skippy I have. Why? Well ****, glad you asked....I'm ******* hurt. So please...excuse the fact that I forgot to sound sensitive during my posting...

He has said that he has a problem conversing with anyone. That even knowing he has to his face turns red and he can feel it as its about to happen and when it's in full bloom. He's not outgoing and again quite the contrary...I am. He hates that about me and loves it at the same time. He told me the other day that I'm everything he's not. He tells me over and over that he will do whatever is necessary to keep me because he knows he procrastinates everything...but it only lasts for a day or two and back to reality....There was so much more involved when I posted this post. When you are looking for people to talk with and have a bit of stress taken off, you try to narrow it down.

The job he has he was fired from also. He's now been with them for three years. But in the beginning when he first started they fired him for stuff he did when he was just a teen. I told him that it was unacceptable for them to pass judgment on him for what he did in his past. So, I wrote a letter to the owner of the company explaining the mistake they made and gave an outline of his many accomplishments since that unfortunate time in his life. They hired him back... So yea my friend..I'm a woman who is in her mans corner. Working against him is only me working against myself. I may not have the answers right now...but that doesn't make me stupid...

I guess if you heard me talk and my accent you would really think I was a *****. Most people do until they get to know me. I say that because I have a very thick New York accent.. and that is not embraced well in the south.. In New York no prob...everyone sounds the same..so I guess at times when I write...I sound the same.. Hope that clears up a few things for you.

It's more than just the video games here...it's about him being there period.

There's no need to get upset; I merely asked you questions, I didn't accuse you of anything. By your description of your boyfriend, I said before, he sounds a lot like your typical case of clinical depression. Is he on medication? Has he seen a psychiatrist (NOT a psychologist -- those guys are jokes) recently? If not, perhaps it's time he go to one. And perhaps you and he should both see a relationship councilor, if you can afford it.

From your description, your boyfriend shows a few tell-tale signs of a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with borderline personalities have trouble expressing their feelings through voice or text, and this can often be misconstrued as apathy or outright resentment. It's not. I think you should consider all the options, here, is what I'm suggesting. You sound like a very strong and determined woman. That's good. But there may be some serious underlying psychological issues here that go deeper than just "laziness." I suggest you consult a professional, talking to a ****** bag like me can only do so much over the internet.

P.S. I'm not entirely sure how implying your lack of a job makes me out to be a guy who believes a woman should be "seen and not heard." I'm not a chauvinist. But there is a particular way that men respond to women: most men enjoy knowing that their women think them the greatest thing in the world.

FFS Kevin

She said she wants to made love to passionately by the man.
Evidently there's sometype of EMOTIONAL LOVE she asking for.
Evidently there's some kind of disorder and issues in paradize.
She said she has *** with the man already.

Read again...She said she's HURT. She's not angery. She's HURT
HURT is a simple direct answer.
HURT is a four letter word.
HURT emotionally is tourment.
HURT is PAIN

BTW...wine is alcohol.
Alcohol is a depression. Let me think ???? A person gets clynically depressed after drinking wine all night ?
Let me think ???? when a person gets drunk...they get fucken NUMB and can't feel a damn thing.

You can suggest she gently runs her hand or finger tips up and down his back or give him a back rub while he's obsessiving over
his vedio game. Study had shown children with OCD calms down or relax if you rub their backs.
mmm...but she's tried of give...give...give
Maybe if he wasn't so catch up into himself.
He might take the lead,...be a man...take the lead and rub her back first.

It dosen't matter...My first GF in recovery was a home maker. She took care of our children.
She held a part time job. Extra money she used to spend for me and our children.
I'd come home and make her a bubble bath and wash the dished if I had to...it's not a big deal.
We were closed...real closed. We used to just wrestle on the living floor or have water guns
fights in the house...it didn't matter...LOVE. Our house was a HOME.


Trouble begin when I started obsessiving over my work. I became a workaholic to make more money.
We already had 3 fucken cars in the garage..for **** sake.
To add more fuel to the fire...I started obessiving in the computers writing programs all night in Qbasic
until 2 A.M. everynight. She used to tell me all the time..."come **** me" or did all kind of stuff to get
my attention to pull me away from the stupid computer.
I started missing our children's activities and events...My duaghter would asked me to attend thier plays
or gymnastic competitions....My GF warned me...She tried to help me for over 6 months to get me back into
recovery again. I simply substitude my addictions for another. i stopped atttending my meetings and stopped
working my program. I missed our duahgters play again....that was her last straw.
I hurted her...I hurted our children. I wasn't there for her as her lover and partner, anymore.
I wasn't there for the children as a daddy anymore.
She purchased me a fucken 4x4 truck a week before she left me...for **** sake.
It wasn't about the money...It was about LOVE

Btw...step#9 in the 12 step program...a very, very important step that most recoverying addicts will try to dodge.
"MAKE AMENDS TO PEOPLE WE HAD HARMED".
Let me think ???? Holy Crap...WISDOM
HARMED=HURTED

 

[SunWeb]

to Eternal flame

May I ask you ? If you knew about his hobby and still went for him why do you complayning now ? It was obvious from the beginning that he wont change until he'll desire it. Its the same problem as smoking, if he won't want then he won't quit.

P.S. Women always found someone who treat them like ****/noone and still have feelings for them when there are normal people around, wtf?

 

[TheLonelySkeptic]

In that sense, boys don't just "turn off" to a woman that they love, or at least I don't. When he comes home from work, how do you treat him? Do you have the compulsion to complain as soon as he steps foot in the house? Do you nag about things any objective person would find minuscule? Or do you wrap your arms around him and thank him for hauling his *** out of bed every day and going to work?
But from what I've read, all you do is expect to receive, but what have you done to give? Boys don't just need to be turned on sexually, we need to be turned on EMOTIONALLY too!

Well one thing I've learned is it's hard to judge someone through ink. Am I one who talks about what is bothering me. Yes, sorry I wasn't raised in the stone age where it was acceptable for women to be seen and not heard. Quite the contrary of what you think. As mentioned,,again..I JUST recently stopped working. So the only thing different is I don't work. I still do everything else I was doing then now...Again the only change is I'm not leaving my home to punch a clock. I still wash the clothes, cook dinner, clean the house, feed the dogs, fold the clothes, mow the lawn (yes, I mow the lawn) even when I was working ( I was the one mowing the lawn) I fix the things in the house when they break.. and if I can't fix them I call someone in who can. I handle the phone calls whether it be to our utility companies or making appts. So how am asking for a little undivided attention nagging? Seriously.... I get his clothes ready for him for work every night and even bring him his towel.

When he arrives in the a.m. from work I kiss him, tell him I made coffee, ask would you like some..and what would you like to have for breakfast. I by no means am a slacker. If I happen to be asleep at night or know that I'm tired I make sure he has all the items he needs to get ready to leave for work..his glasses...which he constantly looses...his badge to get in the door at work..(he looses that all the time too)..and his keys.. I also leave him notes stating how he is appreciated for all he does..and all he does is work..again..my million dollar duties still remain...except I am not bringing in my 900 dollar paychecks anymore. I am constantly giving.. this is why I am hurt so much about him giving back. He only does one thing and that is work. Everything else I do. Again, before I stopped working and now that I'm not. Have I been guilty of flying off at the handle and getting upset. You're damn skippy I have. Why? Well ****, glad you asked....I'm ******* hurt. So please...excuse the fact that I forgot to sound sensitive during my posting...

He has said that he has a problem conversing with anyone. That even knowing he has to his face turns red and he can feel it as its about to happen and when it's in full bloom. He's not outgoing and again quite the contrary...I am. He hates that about me and loves it at the same time. He told me the other day that I'm everything he's not. He tells me over and over that he will do whatever is necessary to keep me because he knows he procrastinates everything...but it only lasts for a day or two and back to reality....There was so much more involved when I posted this post. When you are looking for people to talk with and have a bit of stress taken off, you try to narrow it down.

The job he has he was fired from also. He's now been with them for three years. But in the beginning when he first started they fired him for stuff he did when he was just a teen. I told him that it was unacceptable for them to pass judgment on him for what he did in his past. So, I wrote a letter to the owner of the company explaining the mistake they made and gave an outline of his many accomplishments since that unfortunate time in his life. They hired him back... So yea my friend..I'm a woman who is in her mans corner. Working against him is only me working against myself. I may not have the answers right now...but that doesn't make me stupid...

I guess if you heard me talk and my accent you would really think I was a *****. Most people do until they get to know me. I say that because I have a very thick New York accent.. and that is not embraced well in the south.. In New York no prob...everyone sounds the same..so I guess at times when I write...I sound the same.. Hope that clears up a few things for you.

It's more than just the video games here...it's about him being there period.

There's no need to get upset; I merely asked you questions, I didn't accuse you of anything. By your description of your boyfriend, I said before, he sounds a lot like your typical case of clinical depression. Is he on medication? Has he seen a psychiatrist (NOT a psychologist -- those guys are jokes) recently? If not, perhaps it's time he go to one. And perhaps you and he should both see a relationship councilor, if you can afford it.

From your description, your boyfriend shows a few tell-tale signs of a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with borderline personalities have trouble expressing their feelings through voice or text, and this can often be misconstrued as apathy or outright resentment. It's not. I think you should consider all the options, here, is what I'm suggesting. You sound like a very strong and determined woman. That's good. But there may be some serious underlying psychological issues here that go deeper than just "laziness." I suggest you consult a professional, talking to a ****** bag like me can only do so much over the internet.

P.S. I'm not entirely sure how implying your lack of a job makes me out to be a guy who believes a woman should be "seen and not heard." I'm not a chauvinist. But there is a particular way that men respond to women: most men enjoy knowing that their women think them the greatest thing in the world.

FFS Kevin

She said she wants to made love to passionately by the man.
Evidently there's sometype of EMOTIONAL LOVE she asking for.
Evidently there's some kind of disorder and issues in paradize.
She said she has *** with the man already.

Read again...She said she's HURT. She's not angery. She's HURT
HURT is a simple direct answer.
HURT is a four letter word.
HURT emotionally is tourment.
HURT is PAIN

BTW...wine is alcohol.
Alcohol is a depression. Let me think ???? A person gets clynically depressed after drinking wine all night ?
Let me think ???? when a person gets drunk...they get fucken NUMB and can't feel a damn thing.

You can suggest she gently runs her hand or finger tips up and down his back or give him a back rub while he's obsessiving over
his vedio game. Study had shown children with OCD calms down or relax if you rub their backs.
mmm...but she's tried of give...give...give
Maybe if he wasn't so catch up into himself.
He might take the lead,...be a man...take the lead and rub her back first.

It dosen't matter...My first GF in recovery was a home maker. She took care of our children.
She held a part time job. Extra money she used to spend for me and our children.
I'd come home and make her a bubble bath and wash the dished if I had to...it's not a big deal.
We were closed...real closed. We used to just wrestle on the living floor or have water guns
fights in the house...it didn't matter...LOVE. Our house was a HOME.


Trouble begin when I started obsessiving over my work. I became a workaholic to make more money.
We already had 3 fucken cars in the garage..for **** sake.
To add more fuel to the fire...I started obessiving in the computers writing programs all night in Qbasic
until 2 A.M. everynight. She used to tell me all the time..."come **** me" or did all kind of stuff to get
my attention to pull me away from the stupid computer.
I started missing our children's activities and events...My duaghter would asked me to attend thier plays
or gymnastic competitions....My GF warned me...She tried to help me for over 6 months to get me back into
recovery again. I simply substitude my addictions for another. i stopped atttending my meetings and stopped
working my program. I missed our duahgters play again....that was her last straw.
I hurted her...I hurted our children. I wasn't there for her as her lover and partner, anymore.
I wasn't there for the children as a daddy anymore.
She purchased me a fucken 4x4 truck a week before she left me...for **** sake.
It wasn't about the money...It was about LOVE

Btw...step#9 in the 12 step program...a very, very important step that most recoverying addicts will try to dodge.
"MAKE AMENDS TO PEOPLE WE HAD HARMED".
Let me think ???? Holy Crap...WISDOM
HARMED=HURTED

You didn't even understand a word I said, did you? *sighs*

 

[TheLonelySkeptic]

to Eternal flame

May I ask you ? If you knew about his hobby and still went for him why do you complayning now ? It was obvious from the beginning that he wont change until he'll desire it. Its the same problem as smoking, if he won't want then he won't quit.

P.S. Women always found someone who treat them like ****/noone and still have feelings for them when there are normal people around, wtf?

a'cause women are fickle! Tee hee!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

yes. Kevin

I understand that you where drunk out of your god damn mind when you wrote that.
Having a contructive conversation with a drunk is self mutalation.

 

[Van Hooligan X]

Play with him. I love video games.

I've tried playing video games with him before. Truthfully I don't like playing video games. But I did try to show interest way more than dozens of times. Realistically, that is not my idea of a day well spent. I don't care if he plays video games. I do care that the video games consume ALL and every ounce of his time. That is why I stopped trying to play the games with him. Nine hours of gaming is not my idea of foreplay.

make him play only when he's not talking to u, whenever you come back online or see him he's gotta talk 2 ya...if he doesn't wanna do that then dump him

 

[LonelyKermit]

Crescendo is probably more on the mark than any other person here.

Considering the circumstances, I'm sure we're only being told a very small degree as to what is really going on here. We're just taking the womans perspective and not giving any consideration as to why things are the way that they are. Crescendo at least is open minded about the subject and isnt playing the "well you're complaining so I'll have your back to make you feel better" card with this situation, he is actually trying to address the issue and make you look at the other angles so that you can understand and -possibly- resolve the issue.

If you want to dump him, then dump him. Obviously that isnt the case because we are here right now talking about it with a bunch of strangers. So instead of focusing on the one-sidedness, lets ask a few questions that will make you actually take a look at the situation and determine what you want to do with it.


1. How long has he been playing video games?

2. What other hobbies does he have?

3. What hobbies do you have?

4. What does he do for a living?

5. Whats his past like?

6. How old is he?

7. What do yall do together?

8. Do yall get along often times? Do you yell at him a lot? Would you say you are negative or positive? Is he negative or positive?

9. Does he go hang out with his friends?

10. Do you prevent him from seeing his friends?

11. How often does he get to spend with his family?

12. Do you -ever- prevent him from seeing his family?

13. Do you get along with his family?

14. What is his future plans?

With the video game thing and him not getting on it when yall first started dating.. Honestly, he is trying to hook up with you and I'm sure he would have done whatever possible to make you like him. I'm pretty sure he isnt so dumb that he thinks when yall first started seeing each other that you would be comfortable with watching him play his hunter on World of Warcraft, despite that you knew he was a gamer. I could probably guess and say that his house was always clean when you came over also. He probably even cleaned himself up and shaved a lot more when yall first hooked up too.

What it sounds like is that you arnt really in love with him, but you think that you are. The thing is, you cant love someone for "WHO YOU WANT THEM TO BE", you can only love them for WHO THEY REALLY ARE or else you will never truely be able to experience love with one another. Lovers shouldnt have to be someone they are not in order to get love back in exchange. That only leads to misery and pain for everyone.

Reminds me of a song I heard on the radio the other day:
"I'd rather hate you for everything you are, than ever love you for something that you are not. I'd rather you hate me for everything I am, than every love me for something that I cant."

I'm pretty -positive- that a lot of the things you said were not 100% true considering that you were feeling hurt/angry. If you dont provide the people here with correct information, you wont be getting back the feedback that you are seeking. Unless of course the feedback you wanted was to break up with him. In that case, stop wasting time and just dump him so both of yall can heal & move on with your lives instead of wasting time.

 

[jjam]

I wish I had the desire and means to enjoy videogames most of the day the way I did when I was a child. I still consider it my primary hobby (well, #2 to music listening), but I worry that it is slipping away. Nevertheless, it's one of the few things in my life that puts a smile on my face.

What would I do if my girlfriend played videogames all day? I'd tell her to be ready for an *** whoopin in _______ (insert title some 2 player game) when I get off from work.