What's the Most Desperate Thing You've Done Out of Loneliness?

[ardour]

I was so socially isolated at university, I'd come up with questions in a class or tutorials just to have an excuse to talk to someone - essentially just for attention.

 

[Riven]

That's very beautiful @Riven. Thank-you for sharing your vision. (None of the 'like' buttons seemed to suffice; so, responding this way.)

I appreciate your reply, thanks!

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

In my desperation...

At one stage, and usually during the summer, I would sit in the garden in the shade of a tree my ex and I planted ten years ago. Unlike our love it grew and grew into a mighty tree. I try not to think about her since she hurt me so much, but I close my eyes and imagine another woman there with me. This one loves me and she's dressed in a summer dress and straw hat. She walks about the garden looking at the flowers and smiles at me from under the rim her hat now and then, just to remind me I'm still there. Sometimes I imagine a child playing on the grass to one side with their toys, or that the three of us have a picnic with drinks, sandwiches, ants and bees and fun. The vision draws out a long forgotten happiness that somehow still lives in the recesses of a scarred heart, a feeling that can somehow crawl up and out of the darkness and live and breathe for a moment, if only a fleeting one. Such daydream days, even though objectively delusion, pitiful and slightly sad are subjectively happy days.

I tend to listen to Heat Waves by Glass Animals while I sit there, and strangely the following part of the lyrics make me sad:

I just wonder what you're dreamin' of
When you sleep and smile so comfortable
I just wish that I could give you that
That look that's perfectly un-sad

Sometimes loneliness is not about what you can get from someone, but what you miss giving or need to give I guess. Maybe love, or self sacrifice, I don't know. Maybe its just a feeling of regret for not being or doing enough; that somehow it could have been different but you missed the opportunity.

I haven't done anything strange, which is probably what you are looking for for this thread. I just daydream a bitter sweet vision of bliss now and then. It is nonetheless embarrassing to admit, so hopefully on topic.

No, I don't see anything wrong with that, and I think we all wish for that at times, especially those who have never received it. I do a lot of daydreaming myself about all kinds of different things. Your post here makes life seem much more happier and simple, and it's sad that we live in a world where these things seem to never become achieved for many.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Tried to get my ex back. Thank God it didn't work and I came to my sense. Lol

 

[Hoarse Whisperer]

Allowed myself to be used by people that don't care about me. More than a couple of times. I ignore red flags like a colorblind Formula 1 driver. Whatever you get the point.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Allowed myself to be used by people that don't care about me. More than a couple of times. I ignore red flags like a colorblind Formula 1 driver. Whatever you get the point.

I've been there. Never again.

 

[SlavicNa97]

I kept talking with my online stalker who messed up in my relationships (for a very long time he doesn't show any sign that he is alive so I am lucky), I kept talking with people who were treated me bad, were toxic, were predators etc and I agreed for any type of relationship with everyone who was using me only

 

[ringwood]

That's very beautiful @Riven. Thank-you for sharing your vision. (None of the 'like' buttons seemed to suffice; so, responding this way.)

I agree. I used the ‘love’ emoji as it was closest to my feelings, but ‘care’ or ‘hug’ would’ve been closer, A very lovely sentiment, @Riven, and so eloquently expressed. *hugs*