What's the Most Desperate Thing You've Done Out of Loneliness?

[HellsLittleAngel]

As the title implies, what's something low/desperate you've done out of loneliness?

 

[okidoke]

I'm not sure how others will answer, but I'm certainly not comfortable answering this.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I'm not sure how others will answer, but I'm certainly not comfortable answering this.

That's fine, to each their own.

 

[wolfblood]

I got married out of loneliness. Now I'm happily divorced and in a healthy relationship.

 

[Abstamyous]

It's a toss up between too many nights in the bar until closing, or helping the wrong people get off.

 

[TheSkaFish]

In the past, just trying way too hard to connect with people that weren't compatible with me, and that I shouldn't have talked to in the first place.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I got married out of loneliness. Now I'm happily divorced and in a healthy relationship.

I'm happy that you're finally happy!

 

[Unsigned]

I started going to prostitutes at 19.
And I've been doing it ever since.
I was desperate at that age, but I didn't consider it "low", and I still don't.

 

[wolfblood]

I'm happy that you're finally happy!

Thank you!

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Thank you!

You're welcome.

 

[Running Alone]

At my loneliest (or lowest) I'd say I g00gle searched for the easiest (least amount of pain) way to punch my time card out of this place (relax, I did that many years ago and despite narrowing the choices down to a couple of doable options, I'm still here years later...so I got that going for me.)

 

[Murakami_1]

Sex with an abusive ex, sex with a teacher, sex with a coworker who wasn't very nice.....I am noticing a reoccurring subject here lmao

 

[constant stranger]

Drinking to drunken oblivion with derelict type winos and sleeping in alleys wrapped in newspapers to try and ward off the cold.
But I haven't sunk quite that far in many years.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Drinking to drunken oblivion with derelict type winos and sleeping in alleys wrapped in newspapers to try and ward off the cold.
But I haven't sunk quite that far in many years.

I'm glad to hear you haven't gone back to that old familiar place.

 

[Papagenox]

in early youth I was so ashamed of not having a gf that I claimed I was gay

 

[Murakami_1]

in early youth I was so ashamed of not having a gf that I claimed I was gay

oh jeesh, this is a first for me. Interesting though, you thought being single was more emberassing than being gay.
(1+ win for not being homophobic!)

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

in early youth I was so ashamed of not having a gf that I claimed I was gay

Back in the days, when I used to work at a local convenience store, we had a creepy guy that use to hang around, and he had a restraining order in several other locations, but not our store. He would never get the hint or leave. I was hoping not to resort to other methods. He kept asking me out, and I wasn't interested. I was also seeing someone at the time. The next day I went to work, I put on a ring. He assumed I was engaged, but still asked if my man was okay with us hanging out. I told him my man was not someone he'd ever want to mess with, and he finally got the hint. He never came back after that day.

 

[kinzeUK]

At my loneliest (or lowest) I'd say I g00gle searched for the easiest (least amount of pain) way to punch my time card out of this place (relax, I did that many years ago and despite narrowing the choices down to a couple of doable options, I'm still here years later...so I got that going for me.)

Same.

 

[Riven]

In my desperation...

At one stage, and usually during the summer, I would sit in the garden in the shade of a tree my ex and I planted ten years ago. Unlike our love it grew and grew into a mighty tree. I try not to think about her since she hurt me so much, but I close my eyes and imagine another woman there with me. This one loves me and she's dressed in a summer dress and straw hat. She walks about the garden looking at the flowers and smiles at me from under the rim her hat now and then, just to remind me I'm still there. Sometimes I imagine a child playing on the grass to one side with their toys, or that the three of us have a picnic with drinks, sandwiches, ants and bees and fun. The vision draws out a long forgotten happiness that somehow still lives in the recesses of a scarred heart, a feeling that can somehow crawl up and out of the darkness and live and breathe for a moment, if only a fleeting one. Such daydream days, even though objectively delusion, pitiful and slightly sad are subjectively happy days.

I tend to listen to Heat Waves by Glass Animals while I sit there, and strangely the following part of the lyrics make me sad:

I just wonder what you're dreamin' of
When you sleep and smile so comfortable
I just wish that I could give you that
That look that's perfectly un-sad

Sometimes loneliness is not about what you can get from someone, but what you miss giving or need to give I guess. Maybe love, or self sacrifice, I don't know. Maybe its just a feeling of regret for not being or doing enough; that somehow it could have been different but you missed the opportunity.

I haven't done anything strange, which is probably what you are looking for for this thread. I just daydream a bitter sweet vision of bliss now and then. It is nonetheless embarrassing to admit, so hopefully on topic.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

In my desperation...

That's very beautiful @Riven. Thank-you for sharing your vision. (None of the 'like' buttons seemed to suffice; so, responding this way.)