When does a boy become a man?

[Lonely Shadow 000]

I've been thinking about this one for a while and feel this is probably the best place to pose this question about guys and consequently the corresponding question about girls.

We all know about the legal definition about being an adult, at least in the US it is 18 years old. We also know about how different religions and cultures describe a boy's rise into manhood. Society has different perceptions of what being a man or woman means. So let me ask all of you what you think.

When does a boy become a man? Equivalently, a girl become a woman?

1. At 18 years old? 21?
2. When their sexual organs fully develop? (complete puberty)
3. When they've been in a relationship?
4. When they are able to live and support themselves? (Job and House)
5. When they've had sex?
6. When they marry?

Or something else?

When I ask this, I don't want your answers to be affected by your current status. Obviously if you are a virgin in your 20's you won't pick 5, or if you are living with your parents you won't pick 4. Let's try to be completely objective and put ourselves out of the equation. So whatever you pick it's okay if it reflects poorly on yourself. Think about how society views manhood or womanhood.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

When they are able to live and support themselves, I think.

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

LOL @ objectivity.

One can became a woman when they:
have the sexual characteristics of woman
have the coming of age ceremony
are born
wave a wand and say "ta da!"
when they turn 13, 16, 18 . . .
walk into the washroom where the person has an umbrella for legs
when they move out of their parents house
when they get married and/or have children
feel like it
when they put on a pair of heels or MAC lipstick for the first time
get into their first fight
get their first job
can't get their first job
when they cover up their heads
someone forces it on them
when they decide to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions . . . .

Everyday, I'm made into a woman. Everyday, I'm usually defined as "woman".
And then sometimes, I'm thrown out of the category of "woman" because of what I say, look like, do and/or think. Sometimes, I'm not a "real" woman.

 

[aspalas]

When you don't feel like a boy anymore I guess.

 

[perfanoff]

The way I see the milestones: a guy most often becomes a man when he starts supporting himself and others.
And a girl most often becomes a woman at childbirth.

---

when they decide to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions . . . .

Exactly.

 

[ajdass1]

As soon as you identify as a man or woman. It doesn't make any difference to me; what really matters is whether you're a good person. It's not like being a "man" or a "woman" gives you any sort of innate superiority.

And honestly, most little kids are better at being accepting and tolerant of other people - and treating them with basic human decency and respect - than the vast, vast majority of adults I know.

Like Sarah said, there are plenty of people who will decide that you are not a woman based on some ******** arbitrary criteria.

Also lol at the "at childbirth" remark.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What if a boy is asexual? Is he then not a man?

 

[Cavey]

I don't think it's ANY of the things listed above.

1. You may legally be considered a man at 18, but I've not met many 18 year olds that actually act like an adult.

2. Passing through puberty may signal biological adulthood, but I don't think it has anything to do with becoming what we as a species like to consider 'being a man'.

3. Being in a relationship has absolutely nothing to do with whether you're a man or not.

4. This one is closer than most, but I've known an awful lot of people that own houses and can support themselves who still throw fits, fight in the street, drink until they're unconscious, neglect their children and take no responsibility for anything. If that's a man, then I will gladly hand back my membership.

5. Having sex has bugger all to do with anything either. There are 10 year olds that are quite capable of that and they're definitely still kids. Any idiot with the right equipment can do it...

6. Getting married? Again, nothing to do with becoming a man.

I don't think there is any particular experience that makes us a man, nor is there any set time period during which you reach manhood; it's just a convenient label for males as a whole. What I consider to be a man may differ wildly from what you consider to be a man.

 

[Peaches]

http://www.artofmanliness.com

 

[Evil_Genius]

When they live their entire lives with a sense of grace and nobility.

You can never become a man during your own lifetime. It's assessed in retrospect.

 

[Lady X]

It's nothing to do with sexual function, reproduction, legal recognition, relationships or property ownership.

To me it's pretty simple really - A man becomes a man, and a woman becomes a woman, at the point where they can take full responsibility for themselves and their actions as an adult.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

How about what makes us a human being? That is something that sadly a lot of people wouldn't qualify for.

 

[Aihpames]

A boy becomes a man when he's entirely self sufficient, and able to provide for those under him.

How about what makes us a human being? That is something that sadly a lot of people wouldn't qualify for.

I think you're wrong.

We're animals, and as such, we act that way. Emotions have a time and a place, but they're not the most important part of our make-up. If the overwhelming majority is at times brutal, at times caring, and at times without care, then those are the real human beings.

Passion and emotion take a backseat, and have little to do with being human, in my opinion. We're no better than any other animal on this planet, so I don't expect miracles from other people - if you do, then I can see why you might expect more from people to qualify them as human.

 

[Rosebolt]

When one stays true to his ideals, no matter the rage and dissaproval thrown at him. He stays strong no matter what happens to him.

 

[Felix]

When you become independent.

 

[Naleena]

I'm not sure how you define man or boy.

 

[perfanoff]

When silly feelings like shame, shyness, discomfort etc don't factor in what he has to do and what he has to say.

In other words, "what has to be done has to be done"

 

[Bones]

When they are able to live and support themselves. (House and Job)

 

[painter's radio]

When you cut down your first tree with a chainsaw.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Kinda hard to say, isn't it.

But I'd think a real man is someone who is mature in his thinking (sure he can be youthful and jokable / immature at times), respectful towards himself and others regardless of any differences.