Well, I guess it's not straightforward rejection, but that's how I feel. Rejected.
Since I started college this year, a social group of friends have shown a lot of interest in me, and I'd often be invited to their parties and turn up on my own.
So there's this guy who's always at the parties. Somehow he got my number (as did, actually, practically all the guys there, and I have no idea how). He'd often text me little things bringing up things I'd mentioned in passing. For example, once, a half hour before my favourite show was on, he texted me to remind me. Just little things like that. We'd often talk on FB chat and it wasn't hard like when I talk to other people, I didn't have to try and think of things to say. I just spoke, we'd always talk about loads of weird stuff and soon had a variety of in-jokes no one else would understand. Despite this, at that point I didn't think of him as anything more than a friend.
Anyway, I'll mention here that I had a little thing with his hot best friend at one of these parties. But just because I was extremely drunk and bored. A few months ago (feels much more recent!) I was at one of these parties, and we (guy I first mentioned, not friend) were having a good time. He always asks questions, and just seems really interested in me. Like he'll just ask me really straightforward questions, and I'd either answer with simple one word answers, 'yes/no's or something vague (this is if I wasn't keen on answering, I'm a very guarded and private person). And then he'd try and work me out..he'd relay everything he'd learnt back to me, and when I tried to deny it he wouldn't believe me. What I'm trying to say is, it was intense. I had this feeling like he was just bringing the walls down. So, at this party, I suddenly realised we were gravitation towards each other, and that I wanted to be near him. We were more touchy-feely (then again, neither of us was sober) and when we spoke, or one of us asked a question, we'd look each other straight in the eye. It was so intense. And at that moment, looking each other in the eye, I suddenly felt something, but I wasn't sure what. I still thought of him as a friend at this point you see. It was also at this point that he asked me if I liked his friend, said he thought his friend liked me, and that I should make a move. I wasn't particularly bothered because, actually, at this point I was more interested in his friend than him romantically, but I did feel a kind of uneasiness...slightly hurt, and I couldn't understand why.
Since then, we'd started texting each other a lot. As usual, we got on really well, a lot more in-jokes developed and our texts became increasingly flirty. We'd both suggest hanging out just us, but never seriously, just jokily. (Although I was insinuating seriously, can't be sure about him). It wasn't I started really looking forward to his texts, waiting for them, leaping on the phone as it buzzed and smiling to myself as I read them, that I realised, oh ****, I like him. I really like him.
So we continued talking. Then I saw him at college (we don't see each other around much) and he kind of glanced at me, and even though I smiled, did nothing else. We were in an exam and I caused a bit of commotion (won't go into it, nothing that you'd notice really) and no one bothered looking round except him. I could see him turning round looking at me out of the corner of my eye, so I looked up at him in a kind of cheeky way, and he just turned around.
A week after that and he still hadn't made any contact. I realised it was also him that texted first so thought maybe he was waiting for me. I texted something jokey. It's a week later and he hasn't replied or spoken to me in any way. So, we havn't spoken for 2 weeks. Might not sound long, but it is when we used to speak non-stop.
I was beginning to let him in, he made me feel different, didn't let me hide away. I needed that. And I thought he was interested in me as a person. I thought he cared. And now I just feel so (perhaps irrationally) angry, hurt.....rejected. I'm putting the walls back up, but I can't stop thinking about him.
Sorry, this was really long, and a bit off the point. I kind of just felt like I need to write it all.
