Why Do Good Women Stay With Bad Men?(Seriously)

[LoneKiller]

**** Me. What Have I Started Now?

 

[Ghost Boy]

The answer is not simple. Sometimes they feel it's their fault that their spouse is the way they are or that if they stay with that person, they can fix them. They might even have children with said person and they feel if they leave that person and take the children, it would be breaking up the family.

 

[blackdot]

Some of it might be that when the person is normal, they are nice and fun to be around. It's when they get angry that they get abusive. The person being abused either concludes they did something wrong to make that person angry or that it's just something that they need to change and it will be fine.
A lot of relationships start with one person believing they can change things about someone else. They know it's something they don't like but they figure they will just "fix" the person and then they will be perfect. So they continue to be abused all while thinking that they just need to find a way to "fix" them. Unfortunately you can't just change/fix someone. Some people get it, others never figure that out.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

ITS NOT GENDER ESPECIFIC DUDE.....

JUST LIKE SOMEONE PIONTED THE OUT TO YOU,
IT STILL WENT OVER YOUR HEAD....

KINDA LIVING IN DENIAL.

---

Just like Stockholm syndrom....

Gettung held nentally and emotionally hostage.
The victims felt guilty and sorry for the bank robbers.

---

Nobody is perfect Lonesome Crow.
With all due respect to you're being a member a lot longer than I. Don't ever talk that way to me again. Next time you type in caps to get my attention, learn how to spell.

---

Eerr....here we

Did you even bothered to view
The diagram i posted....

It gose into not being perfect after that facts..
Now, your going get assertive with me?
Notice how it alsp say blame or blameshifying.

And whst did i write that hitted your nerves?

 

[LoneKiller]

ITS NOT GENDER ESPECIFIC DUDE.....

JUST LIKE SOMEONE PIONTED THE OUT TO YOU,
IT STILL WENT OVER YOUR HEAD....

KINDA LIVING IN DENIAL.

---

Just like Stockholm syndrom....

Gettung held nentally and emotionally hostage.
The victims felt guilty and sorry for the bank robbers.

---

Nobody is perfect Lonesome Crow.
With all due respect to you're being a member a lot longer than I. Don't ever talk that way to me again. Next time you type in caps to get my attention, learn how to spell.

---

Eerr....here we

Did you even bothered to view
The diagram i posted....

It gose into not being perfect after that facts..
Now, your going get assertive with me?
Notice how it alsp say blame or blameshifying.

And whst did i write that hitted your nerves?

---

Hi Lonesome. It's just that in some other forums I used to attend. When someone types in caps it means that the member is yelling. I might owe you an apology with respect to your grammar. Where are you from if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Then...
The beat me down?
Always the same old **** with my spelling.lmao
Jesus mother fucken chirst....

Bwt....the damn keys on my android touch screen
Be touchy...lol

Hint......
Yhe lines u c on post r poeple using their cells

---

Go on.....go gather your crew....

 

[oopsiedoop]

If I said chirst and yhe instead of the in real life you'd think I was weird and would have trouble understanding me. The same applies to writing.

What yehhee * do you want?

 

[LoneKiller]

Then...
The beat me down?
Always the same old **** with my spelling.lmao
Jesus mother fucken chirst....

Bwt....the damn keys on my android touch screen
Be touchy...lol

Hint......
Yhe lines u c on post r poeple using their cells

---

Go on.....go gather your crew....

---

Well either way, it was disrespectful of me. When you typed in caps, I thought that you were yelling at me. I still shouldn't have insulted your grammar.
I was just pissed off because I thought that you were yelling at me.

No hard feelings?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Beats the hell out of me what poeple are
Conditioned or programmed to give meanings
To whatever the **** ideas and beliefs they buy
Into....

---

Im not trying to argue with you.

The caps is s good example.
Pepple the get imvolved in abusive relationships
had been conditioned all their lives.
From earily childhood they had been abused.
Its normal or comfortable to them as inhealhty
As it may be.

 

[LoneKiller]

Beats the hell out of me what poeple are
Conditioned or programmed to give meanings
To whatever the **** ideas and beliefs they buy
Into....

---

Im not trying to argue with you.

The caps is s good example.
Pepple the get imvolved in abusive relationships
had been conditioned all their lives.
From earily childhood they had been abused.
Its normal or comfortable to them as inhealhty
As it may be.

---

I gotta tell you. I never imagined that this thread topic could get so deep and involved. WOW!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It gets even deeper.....the princople of it.

Living a lonely life or life style
The samething happens.
We got programmed or programmed ourselves
Into living a certain way.
Our minds and body adjust to whatever conditions.
It dosnt happen over night...but we will develope
Certain patterns or behaviors over time.
We get comfortable with that.

 

[flaneur]

Most women are in prison for KILLING their abusive husbands. Learn your facts. Yes, women are just as violent as men -- they just don't get a chance to express it. Even if she did try to use a weapon to merely hurt you, you could easily defend yourself. Are you saying you wouldn't out of fear of legal repercussions? GOOD. That's what they're there for, to have some kind of power. How ridiculous is this argument. COMPLETELY. It's a disgrace to the people who make it who know there's no truth to it and to women who are all at risk. It's the same argument abusive parents make about their children -- that the children were so bad. But how can a child be so strong that that much force is required? It doesn't make any sense. Only parents and only men can truly be physically abusive. And few men get slapped. It's not the same kind of problem in any way but if I heard you were getting slapped I wouldn't be too bothered about it because you outweigh her by 60 lbs. at LEAST and usually much more. It's just a joke to cry about it.

There are more bad men than bad women. Women in general have to settle. Most men are not willing to do anything to build a relationship. They're more interested in masturbating to porn. It's pathetic.

Men also don't get raped except by straight men (in jail).

No one said anything about prison. The mental trauma is far worse, I would imagine, than any physical blows, so your argument about men being "stronger" and therefore immune is just null.

Your second part just betrays your own prejudices, which probably stem from bad relationship experiences.

The last part shows you don't know what you're talking about, as that's generally known to be false. You just never hear about it, because men would never admit it due to embarrassment (from people like you, who think "it's a joke to cry about it" if it's the other way around).

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Since ive been with my fiancee...
Ive changed in many ways because
Of beimg with her.
Yes, children are involved.
Family...

Shes been in abusive relationships.
The turamma she experienced from that.
The conditioning or programming from that.
Shes also became abusive herself so that she
May survived. Argumentative and combative.
The mental and emotional baggages from that.

The cops frisk me first and ask questions later.
No, she can never hurt me physically mote than
my love for her. I had 2 mother fucken black eyes.lol

I love her very very much....
I know she needs help and lots of therapy.
I also know i cant fix her. As poeple wrote.

---

I pretty much lived the gammit of what poeple
Posted on here...
Wtf would i know?

Ive also been in a relationship that got toxic prevoously.

 

[SophiaGrace]

The question people should be asking is why men are abusive to their women, not why women do not leave their abusers.

 

[annik]

Oh please. Women are smaller than men so physical abuse is not in the same league. What claptrap. The only people who say that are man pleasers. That's why your sister said what she did. I see it in you too. You'd defend guys to the ends of the earth.

To be frank thats bollocks. Women are not always smaller than men for one and whether they are or not they are still very capable of inflicting horrific injuries on their male partners. Plus this question is about mental abuse as well which women are totally capable of. Abuse comes in many forms and can be inflicted by or on anyone by anyone.

I am not a "man pleaser" I just hate the notion that this is even a gender issue.

I couldn't care less what you think you see in me, quite frankly you know not one thing about me so your "opinion" is meaningless.

 

[Felix]

The question people should be asking is why men are abusive to their women, not why women do not leave their abusers.

Thats an even more interesting question, it s not discussed enough.

The first time I was in love I remember wanting to beat up every man that talked to her for more than 2 mins... But I would never act on it and I never wanted to hit her at all...

But I ve felt just how powerfull and angry jealusy can make you feel. Its scary. It can make you wanna kill.

My guess is that abusive men see their woman as an object that belongs to them, thats why they treat them like a slave and make them fear them. Add to this the paranoia of a jealous man and you will most likely get a woman whos being beat up as a punishment to stablish that she belongs to her.

The woman has to deal with ambivalence... he hurts her but she still loves him.

 

[oopsiedoop]

The last part shows you don't know what you're talking about, as that's generally known to be false. You just never hear about it, because men would never admit it due to embarrassment (from people like you, who think "it's a joke to cry about it" if it's the other way around).

How is it generally known to be false if they don't talk about it?

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The question people should be asking is why men are abusive to their women, not why women do not leave their abusers.

Good point.

 

[flaneur]

The last part shows you don't know what you're talking about, as that's generally known to be false. You just never hear about it, because men would never admit it due to embarrassment (from people like you, who think "it's a joke to cry about it" if it's the other way around).

How is it generally known to be false if they don't talk about it?

Because a few people do admit it and the word 'never' is seldom used literally.

 

[oopsiedoop]

So you are the one who is making that argument up.

 

[flaneur]

Um, no. Even a simple Google search would yield results that prove otherwise. Here's the first one that popped up, but do more research on your own if you're not convinced: http://www.aest.org.uk/survivors/male/myths_about_male_rape.htm