why, why do "nice guys" do this?

[Triple Bogey]

Whoa, a lot has gone on here since I last stuck my head around the door and had a look in!

We seem to have gone from Peaches asking how to gently discourage a guy she was not interested in, without hurting his feelings, into some rather murkier waters.

However I think we have some interesting tips here, on how to be yet another lonely bloke, . What you have to do is simple, chaps. . .

You get a chip on your shoulder about your looks, and you allow it to get nice and big.

Then, you present yourself to women with a jerkish attitude, which will piss off any half way decent woman.

You do a bit of this until your shoulder chip is huge, blaming the women you encounter as being the problem, and becoming angry, bitter and misogynistic.

If you do have a relationship with a woman who is attracted to being emotionally abused by misogynistic jerks (probably because she is neurotic and has daddy issues or other issues with men and relationships) you will use her then despise her as needy, clingy, neurotic and whatever.

After a number of years around the hamster wheel, you are rather older, and have enough money to go to Thailand or Russia (or another country with a lower standard or living than yours), for a bride, where, unlike the materialistic girls in the West who are only after handsome men, or men with money, you will find a decent simple girl. She will of course be clear that she doesn't like the men of her own age in her own country, and, providing you send her money and/or marry her to get her out of her country of origin to a golden future, will truly love you...... Of course she may bilk you of your cash and disappear, but hey, just confirms your opinion of women, so that's all good, then.

So now you know how to be a bitter, miserable, old, lonely misogynistic git. Any takers?

that doesn't describe all lonely men.
Some of us don't get a chance.
And what are we supposed to do / feel when we see complete ********* with 2 or 3 women on the go at the same time ?
Just shrug our shoulders and carry on ?

A lot of men do have chips on their shoulders though. Your right about that. Mine fell off about 15 years ago !

---

I think 'wanting a girlfriend' can become dominant in some men thinking. And then they become jerks or whatever.
And they have no idea how they come across, all bitter and twisted. And of course women rightly don't want to know.

I don't think I fall into that category. I do have a few female friends.

 

[jaguarundi]

TripleB ..

Some of us don't get a chance.
And what are we supposed to do / feel when we see complete ********* with 2 or 3 women on the go at the same time ?
Just shrug our shoulders and carry on ?

No, what you could try is asking one, nice lady out - like half of ALL have been practically begging you to do for weeks now!!

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

=)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[MTrip]

Peaches - Just face up to facts & keep a few cats instead. Really. You do have high standards...& there's nothing wrong with that. Never compromise your standards for anyone. Period. Quite frankly I was in the same boat for a while: After a few different girlfriends either being dull average, or having emotional issues & a couple of them turning out to be hysterically insane (& violent, in one case), I finally realized: You know what? It ain't gonna happen. (These days it's because of health issues as much as anything else.) I resigned myself to bachelorhood a ling time ago.

What you are asking for is a very rare kind of man. The fact is that most men, as part of the vast majority of the human race, don't do much more with their lives than consume, pollute, & take up space. For those with high standards for a mate, singledom & misanthropy are often the only realistic options.

Peaches reticence with these guys seems to be more about self-preservation than particularly high standards (can't blame her.) By the way, do you think you could make your comments sound even more arrogant? Think of it as a challenge.

I could, yeah, but only if I'm getting paid for that. And yes, I know I'm arrogant & by Loki's bronzed codpiece I am proud of it.

 

[MrPaul]

TripleB ..

Some of us don't get a chance.
And what are we supposed to do / feel when we see complete ********* with 2 or 3 women on the go at the same time ?
Just shrug our shoulders and carry on ?

No, what you could try is asking one, nice lady out - like half of ALL have been practically begging you to do for weeks now!!

Was thinking Yeah... but, I wouldn't know how to approach someone or what to say without feeling like I'm being weird xD

Apart from that you do have a point madam.

 

[MTrip]

So what's left ? Cats and bitterness. And misandry.

---

---

Misandry? Was it implied somewhere that she hates men?

Or are you saying she should? Really, a lot of men make it awful difficult to do.

---

I'm talking about MTrip, not about Peaches.
Peaches seems to be cute and innocent, albeit maybe too demanding in the looks department. But then again, ALL women are, otherwise I wouldn't be single.

---

Now that's not accurate. First off, I'm a man. Secondly, it is human beings I despise, not just women. Misandry doesn't just involve hatred of men, but an affinity toward women. Misanthropy doesn't make exceptions for gender, race, creed, or shoe style.

 

[Triple Bogey]

TripleB ..

Some of us don't get a chance.
And what are we supposed to do / feel when we see complete ********* with 2 or 3 women on the go at the same time ?
Just shrug our shoulders and carry on ?

No, what you could try is asking one, nice lady out - like half of ALL have been practically begging you to do for weeks now!!

I know, I know, I am pathetic
I should have asked that woman on the bus for a date.

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

I thought you were a woman. You sure sounded like one. Well, whatever makes your boat float, I don't care anymore.

 

[Triple Bogey]

what happened to the guy who was obsessed with Peaches ?
Did he back off ?

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

I know, I know, I am pathetic
I should have asked that woman on the bus for a date.

Man, what is wrong with you ? Why go to a stranger and ask anything, especially to go out with you ?

 

[MTrip]

Now this thread is getting funny!...

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I could, yeah, but only if I'm getting paid for that. And yes, I know I'm arrogant & by Loki's bronzed codpiece I am proud of it.

lol:club:

 

[NOAH_FX]

I know, I know, I am pathetic
I should have asked that woman on the bus for a date.

Man, what is wrong with you ? Why go to a stranger and ask anything, especially to go out with you ?

Because believe it or not. Most people are just like you, with the same hope's and fears.

Why should you ask a stranger out? because it's the easiest If they say no, you can shrug it off and go about your day knowing most likely you will never see them again.

I think i've been more honest to some complete strangers, than close friends. Because they expect nothing from you, you can't let them down. But maybe, just maybe. You can learn something from this person, and that (to me) is what lifes about. Learning cool new things, as often as possible.

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

You are not part of the global tribe. Probably your parents loved you.

 

[Batman55]

TripleB ..

Some of us don't get a chance.
And what are we supposed to do / feel when we see complete ********* with 2 or 3 women on the go at the same time ?
Just shrug our shoulders and carry on ?

No, what you could try is asking one, nice lady out - like half of ALL have been practically begging you to do for weeks now!!

+1

---

I know, I know, I am pathetic
I should have asked that woman on the bus for a date.

Man, what is wrong with you ? Why go to a stranger and ask anything, especially to go out with you ?

-1

 

[ladyforsaken]

I know, I know, I am pathetic
I should have asked that woman on the bus for a date.

Man, what is wrong with you ? Why go to a stranger and ask anything, especially to go out with you ?

No, what is wrong with you? Asking a stranger out is also taking a chance at finding someone you can connect with and who knows what might come out of it? And it's not easy to ask a stranger out - so rather than putting someone down for trying or at least think of trying to do it, why not motivate and encourage them instead?

 

[Tulip23]

I know, I know, I am pathetic
I should have asked that woman on the bus for a date.

Man, what is wrong with you ? Why go to a stranger and ask anything, especially to go out with you ?

No, what is wrong with you? Asking a stranger out is also taking a chance at finding someone you can connect with and who knows what might come out of it? And it's not easy to ask a stranger out - so rather than putting someone down for trying or at least think of trying to do it, why not motivate and encourage them instead?

+1
ALG your comments are not helpful. Triple if this situation arises again, take that leap of faith and ask the woman out. What have you got to lose.

 

[ardour]

Man, what is wrong with you ? Why go to a stranger and ask anything, especially to go out with you ?

Oh right, because it's better to ask one of the many single female acquaintances in his age group instead.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I could have offered my mobile number to her. That wouldn't have hurt anybody.
If anything like that happens again, I think I will.

---

I know, I know, I am pathetic
I should have asked that woman on the bus for a date.

Man, what is wrong with you ? Why go to a stranger and ask anything, especially to go out with you ?

No, what is wrong with you? Asking a stranger out is also taking a chance at finding someone you can connect with and who knows what might come out of it? And it's not easy to ask a stranger out - so rather than putting someone down for trying or at least think of trying to do it, why not motivate and encourage them instead?

I imagine a lot of people meet like that. She mentioned not having a computer and I didn't see a mobile, so she probably didn't have one. I think it's quite normal after such a long conversation to give the other person the opportunity to 'keep in touch' if they want.

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

No, what is wrong with you? Asking a stranger out is also taking a chance at finding someone you can connect with and who knows what might come out of it? And it's not easy to ask a stranger out - so rather than putting someone down for trying or at least think of trying to do it, why not motivate and encourage them instead?

Because maybe I don't agree with men taking the chance of being rejected. Maybe I think women should start doing that. I am of course speaking in general, I don't want to hear any examples of a friend of yours or of yourself that has asked a man out, thus risking rejection.

People don't seem to understand that for a low self-esteem guy being rejected is much more damaging than never trying at all. Also, many women think that there's no big deal in being rejected. Well, if is such a small deal, then why don't they try it, huh ?

And no, this time I am not stereotyping anything, not all people are alike, but many of them, regardless of gender, fit my description.

---

ALG your comments are not helpful. Triple if this situation arises again, take that leap of faith and ask the woman out. What have you got to lose.

No one seems to understand what I mean. Very well then, continue feeding the meat-grinder.

If it's not a big deal, YOU do it.

I have conversations with people on the train or on the bus whenever I choose to. That doesn't mean anything. So giving a guy false hopes is wrong.

If he would have been attractive to women, he could have picked them up in any situation, not necessarily on that bus. He would have been successful in dating online, in dating the girl next door and so on.

Why give false hope ? Because you, the one giving the advice have nothing to loose ?