why, why do "nice guys" do this?

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

It doesn't matter, I was just proving a point. Every woman either has someone, either wishes me the best. None have the courage to say something like "I don't like how you look ".

 

[ladyforsaken]

^Your point was to say that all women on earth are too demanding on the looks department. Your point was not what you stated above.

 

[ShybutHi]

Same here, personality is far above looks with regards to attraction for me, looks are subjective.
I see myself as a very ugly and unattractive guy but it would be silly to believe that it was impossible for a woman to find me attractive... I find some women attractive that other people don't and vice versa.

 

[Peaches]

the point I wanted to make with that guy is that after knowing him better probably his looks wouldn't have mattered, so unless one is Hugh Jackman (and even then) it's not wise to come on too strong too early

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

Point proven

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^Your point was to say that all women on earth are too demanding on the looks department. Your point was not what you stated above.

Even if the don't have someone they say they do. See what I mean?

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Coming on strong? It depends on how the guy doing the coming on looks. I can't believe that even in this day and age people can't be honest about this.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Now you're the one just going around what you said.

Peaches seems to be cute and innocent, albeit maybe too demanding in the looks department. But then again, ALL women are, otherwise I wouldn't be single.

I can only understand what you meant exactly from this statement. I wasn't pointing out anything else that you might have thought about based on previous posts or your own opinions. I was just referring to this one statement you made.

Coming on strong? It depends on how the guy doing the coming on looks. I can't believe that even in this day and age people can't be honest about this.

Seriously?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Knock of the insults and gender stereotyping.

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

My blunt truths tend to be brutal and heartless, but honest.

 

[ladyforsaken]

My blunt truths tend to be brutal and heartless, but honest.

You speak for yourself then. I'll just say it again. Not EVERY woman is like that.

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

Knock of the insults and gender stereotyping.

I wasn't aware I insulted anyone. Since I haven't, and since I don't believe I ueed any stereotype by stating all women like good-looking men, but a mod says I'm doing this, it means this is not the right place for me. See you around!

 

[ladyforsaken]

Unbelievable. How can that not be a stereotype?! Ugh..

 

[Sci-Fi]

Did I say it was you or just you? No I did not. I never mentioned anyone by name but seeing as you think I was that should tell you a lot about your own posts.

Just to be clear though, you are not the only person I was referring to. And to be specific to you, ALG, your comments are classes as gender stereotyping, you are making a sweeping statement claiming ALL are how you claim them to do, you are gender stereotyping, which we do not allow here.

So I will say this ONE last time, and it is NOT up for debate, and applies to EVERYONE. KNOCK OFF THE INSULTS AND GENDER STEREOTYPING!

 

[CHSlater]

I used to think "all I have to offer in terms of personality in order to get a girlfriend doesn't matter, because it always end up being a matter of 'who is more attractive'" until I "lose" girls for guys even uglier than me.

(but still, is foolish for us to deny that appearance is the key to make someone give you a chance to prove that you worth a shot).

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

Women want men with kind souls, looks don't really matter, as long as there is kindness and love. Here, I gave you a stereotype.

I'm just expressing an opinion. It may be wrong, but it's my belief. If I am not allowed to say that, although it's nothing offensive, I guess I will nowbe hunted until I am suspended or banned.

I find nothing offensive in saying all women like good-looking men, it's like saying all people like beauty.

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I used to think "all I have to offer in terms of personality in order to get a girlfriend doesn't matter, because it always end up being a matter of 'who is more attractive'" until I "lose" girls for guys even uglier than me.

(but still, is foolish for us to deny that appearance is the key to make someone give you a chance to prove that you worth a shot).

That is what I am trying to say! Thank you! No one will give a crap about your personality if you don't look good, 'cause tjey don't want to know you.

 

[CHSlater]

That is what I am trying to say! Thank you! No one will give a crap about your personality if you don't look good, 'cause tjey don't want to know you.

I agree. Me, for example: if someone introduce to me a pretty girl, I naturally become more interested in her, and yeah, it's just because she is pretty. But if this girl is not so pretty or ugly (physically), it will take more than just an "introduce" to make me as the same interested in her as if she was pretty, but not saying it's impossible. IMO it happens the same way with any other girl or guy.

I hope I'm not posting something out of the rules, because I love this forum.

 

[murmi97]

I find nothing offensive in saying all women like good-looking men, it's like saying all people like beauty.

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Well assertions worded that way certainly make me (and presumably many women) defensive, because of the assumptive thought behind it that I shouldn't go on attraction (to whatever extent) while men do, with little backlash. I normally feel like female androsexuality and sexual agency are being attacked to be honest. But of course you mentioned that you were voicing opinions, so I'm just saying how I feel about it.

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

Good, so I won't be hunted and banned

 

[user 115627]

Though this thread has gone a little off track from the original 'Nice guys' topic, I still want to give my opinion...

The whole desperate/creepy routine is known to me because I struggled with similar behavior in the past. When I still thought a relationship was the core ingredient for future happiness and I would just be half a person without it. Thankfully I left that behind.
So sometimes it clears itself up - but for others it intensifies with age. And I'm talking about men and women alike. In some circles society and/or family puts a lot of pressure on folks when they reach a certain age and still haven't found the right partner (or haven't even started searching). People start getting nervous which eventually might lead to desperation. And when they finally get an opportunity - a chance for a 'good catch' - they're not letting loose easily.

There's no use in denying that the first impression has a major impact on the attraction people feel towards each other. And the physical impression is the more prominent factor contributing here. Personality comes afterwards because it necessarily is connected to actually talking to a person. Unless you're some sort of psychic who grasps looks and personality with the first glance...

Beautiful people look for beautiful people. That's something natural I think. But people have different preferences. There's a lot of room between beauty and 'I wouldn't even poke that with a stick'. It's in the eye of the beholder. But I wouldn't blame anybody for not wanting me.

 

[Zett]

The biological clock sure is a big culprit for desperation. Especially with the timer on fertility for women which hits around 35 if I understand right.

Having been attracted to a woman who I thought was not physically appealing due to her amazing aura of positivity and passion I've adjusted my own standard for appearances and tweaked its importance far down the list.

If you're still in the boat that thinks appearance is king, you probably need to meet someone who shines more brightly than their appearance. There are plenty of charismatic people without great looks.

 

[ShybutHi]

Yeah Zett. An example is charm. That which makes someone charming is not necessarily their looks... It depends on how the person presents them self and their personality to match. There are lots of guys out there who can get beautiful women but are just average looking themselves.