Wish you had siblings ?

[sothatwasmylife]

Or alternatively someone to abuse you in the most despicable way, desert you and take absolutely no responsibility until they are faced ultimately and eventually with the consequences of thier actions and then in a final act of cowardice throw themselves under a train..rot in hell you piece of ****.

Wow ! I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm also glad you and I aren't siblings !!!

I'm no one to judge your family, because I don't know y'all. And, I know that s**cide is such a sensitive topic, that most people steer clear of it. But, sorry, I have to say ... what your sibling did (train) ... the action, not the person ... demonstrates neither cowardice nor bravery, and it doesn't have to be classified as either of those two extremes. Another dichotomy I often hear associated with s**cide is selfishness and selflessness ! Why does it have to be one or the other ? Why can't it be neither ?

From my personal experience with s**cide, I can tell you that a lot goes on inside the mind of someone who takes such an action ... and trust me, very rarely is the person thinking, "Oh, this will earn me a headline tomorrow." Usually, they just want their pain to end.

I doubt your sibling (or anyone else who has completed the act) cares what anyone thinks of him/her.

I didn't mean for this to be abrasive or offensive to you in any way. I'm just telling you what I think about s**cide.

I've no idea all I can say is I feel it is an older brothers role to nurture a younger brother I was aged four my brother around 15...He was entirely absent for my remaining childhood ..not there to support in any way...he committed suicide when their appeared to be a likelihood of us meeting and was aware at that time just how much damage he had caused...I would possibly have had some respect for him if he had been able to apologise...but he choose instead to take an easier route and I will always dispise him for that

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Or alternatively someone to abuse you in the most despicable way, desert you and take absolutely no responsibility until they are faced ultimately and eventually with the consequences of thier actions and then in a final act of cowardice throw themselves under a train..rot in hell you piece of ****.

Wow ! I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm also glad you and I aren't siblings !!!

I'm no one to judge your family, because I don't know y'all. And, I know that s**cide is such a sensitive topic, that most people steer clear of it. But, sorry, I have to say ... what your sibling did (train) ... the action, not the person ... demonstrates neither cowardice nor bravery, and it doesn't have to be classified as either of those two extremes. Another dichotomy I often hear associated with s**cide is selfishness and selflessness ! Why does it have to be one or the other ? Why can't it be neither ?

From my personal experience with s**cide, I can tell you that a lot goes on inside the mind of someone who takes such an action ... and trust me, very rarely is the person thinking, "Oh, this will earn me a headline tomorrow." Usually, they just want their pain to end.

I doubt your sibling (or anyone else who has completed the act) cares what anyone thinks of him/her.

I didn't mean for this to be abrasive or offensive to you in any way. I'm just telling you what I think about s**cide.

I've no idea all I can say is I feel it is an older brothers role to nurture a younger brother I was aged four my brother around 15...He was entirely absent for my remaining childhood ..not there to support in any way...he committed suicide when their appeared to be a likelihood of us meeting when I was aged 18 and was aware at that time just how much damage he had caused...I would possibly have had some respect for him if he had been able to apologise...but he choose instead to take an easier route and I will always dispise him for that

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Or alternatively someone to abuse you in the most despicable way, desert you and take absolutely no responsibility until they are faced ultimately and eventually with the consequences of thier actions and then in a final act of cowardice throw themselves under a train..rot in hell you piece of ****.

Wow ! I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm also glad you and I aren't siblings !!!

I'm no one to judge your family, because I don't know y'all. And, I know that s**cide is such a sensitive topic, that most people steer clear of it. But, sorry, I have to say ... what your sibling did (train) ... the action, not the person ... demonstrates neither cowardice nor bravery, and it doesn't have to be classified as either of those two extremes. Another dichotomy I often hear associated with s**cide is selfishness and selflessness ! Why does it have to be one or the other ? Why can't it be neither ?

From my personal experience with s**cide, I can tell you that a lot goes on inside the mind of someone who takes such an action ... and trust me, very rarely is the person thinking, "Oh, this will earn me a headline tomorrow." Usually, they just want their pain to end.

I doubt your sibling (or anyone else who has completed the act) cares what anyone thinks of him/her.

I didn't mean for this to be abrasive or offensive to you in any way. I'm just telling you what I think about s**cide.

I've no idea all I can say is I feel it is an older brothers role to nurture a younger brother I was aged four my brother around 15...He was entirely absent for my remaining childhood ..not there to support in any way...he committed suicide when their appeared to be a likelihood of us meeting when I was aged 18 and was aware at that time just how much damage he had caused...I would possibly have had some respect for him if he had been able to apologise...but he choose instead to take an easier route and I will always dispise him for that and I can assure you Im no stranger to suicidal thinking and suicidal action...I think your remark about being " glad your not a sibling of mine " is at best thoughtless

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Yep at best thoughtless..but hey I wasn't looking for a solution but I also wasn't looking for a negative pronouncement and now I 'm less affected by your remark I'll let it go into the ether where it belongs

 

[Somnambulist]

I think your remark about being " glad your not a sibling of mine " is at best thoughtless

Ok, I understand. First off, I apologize if that comment of mine rubbed you the wrong way. It was NOT a judgment about your character, at all. It was purely in response to what you said. I think I was responding to you telling your sibling to "rot in hell, you piece of s***". For two reasons, that made me respond the way that I did, 1 - If I were your sibling who had committed s**cide, would you say the same about me ?, and 2 - I felt a sadness for your brother, because of what he clearly went through, causing him to take his own life, given my own experience. I was kind of like saying that we wouldn't be a good fit for each other as siblings, not that you are not good enough or anything like that.

I also feel sad whenever I hear people cursing at the dead, in general. I don't know why. Maybe it seems unfair because the dead can't respond. I just know that whenever I have cursed at people no longer in my life, I've always felt incredibly guilty and sad later.

I think it was also meant to be like what people sometimes say ... "I hope you never get mad at me !" when they observe someone losing his/her temper. I was kind of saying something similar ... hope you never call me a rotten piece of s*** for taking my life. Hope this makes sense.

Again, sorry about that ! No hard feelings ?

Now, getting back to your anger at your brother for deserting you, yes, it makes perfect sense, and I empathize with you 100%. He left you at a vulnerable time, and I'd be angry too.

 

[BadGuy]

I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers ....what do you have to trade lol

LOL is right !!! Right now, nothing ... I'm broke as broke can be.

Assuming I had the goods, which ones would you trade and why ?

the oldest sister ....she thinks that being oldest makes her always right and more important
a PBnJ sandwich might be a fair trade some days LOL

 

[Paraiyar]

I can donate a sister

You really should mention the high maintenance cost that would come with said "donation."

 

[Paraiyar]

Yep, I'm a 25 year old male and wish I'd had an older sister. Think I'd have an easier time with women. Wouldn't mind an older brother in someways as well since it probably would have helped me adapt better to the world.

Thank you so much for sharing, Paraiyar ! This helps validate my own feelings about the matter.

Why do you feel an older brother would have helped you adapt better ?

It would have probably hardened me a little and made me mature faster.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I can donate a sister

I can donate a brother if anyone wants one.

So yeah, Amy and I have you all covered. 

 

[constant stranger]

I have 2 older brothers who were useless in our dysfunctional family.  One of them talked his way to living with our grandmother when he was 14 and I was 6.....he's still a stranger to me and I never missed him.  The other one hid in his room whenever he could and lived his own fantasy life until he talked his way into going to boarding school when he was 16 and I was 12.  I don't really blame them....escaping was a good way to survive our family.  I've been the caregiver for our mood disordered mother since I walked in on a suicide gesture when I was 5 and she was out on a ledge.  I'm still her care giver.  It would have been nice to have older brothers who looked out for me and contributed to the family somehow.  They weren't just absentee big brothers....they had anger issues later in life that they ventilated on the family.  Dad had his career and his hobbies.  And I'm the one who's been keeping things together in the family.  Forgot to mention the 2 brothers enjoyed bullying me.  Would have been better being an only child.  What a ****** family life.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I can donate a sister

You really should mention the high maintenance cost that would come with said "donation."

That's just bad advertising

 

[MisterLonely]

I have 2 older sisters whom i love very much and thankfully have a great relationship with, i was the result of a twin pregnancy where one fetus didn't come to term, I often wished i would have had a brother so i could have mooched off of his social circle a bit

 

[Somnambulist]

I have 2 older sisters whom i love very much and thankfully have a great relationship with, i was the result of a twin pregnancy where one fetus didn't come to term, I often wished i would have had a brother so i could have mooched off of his social circle a bit

Dank je, MisterLonely ! That is wonderful to hear, and a bit sad too.

I knew there were others who either believed in or experienced great sibling relationships. I envy you. I'm sure your sisters would have taught you a thing or two about how to be good with women

 

[Somnambulist]

I have 2 older brothers who were useless in our dysfunctional family.  One of them talked his way to living with our grandmother when he was 14 and I was 6.....he's still a stranger to me and I never missed him.  The other one hid in his room whenever he could and lived his own fantasy life until he talked his way into going to boarding school when he was 16 and I was 12.  I don't really blame them....escaping was a good way to survive our family.  I've been the caregiver for our mood disordered mother since I walked in on a suicide gesture when I was 5 and she was out on a ledge.  I'm still her care giver.  It would have been nice to have older brothers who looked out for me and contributed to the family somehow.  They weren't just absentee big brothers....they had anger issues later in life that they ventilated on the family.  Dad had his career and his hobbies.  And I'm the one who's been keeping things together in the family.  Forgot to mention the 2 brothers enjoyed bullying me.  Would have been better being an only child.  What a ****** family life.

I'm sorry to hear that. What can I say.

If it's any consolation, family life can be pretty ****** with or without siblings ... at this point, I have even disowned my parents.

 

[ardour]

If nothing else it might have helped me develop better social skills before hitting adolescence.

On the other hand, knowing who and what my father is, it was probably for the best. I really don't envy my two half-brothers (no contact, and don't want any).

 

[Wayfarer]

It's not always what one would think it is. I have two brothers and I don't really get along with them, or talk to them that much (almost never, except now that I'm temporarily living again in the same house :\ ).
But then again, my fault probably. Sorry for raining on your parade, everyone.

I guess it's at least good for my parents as I would be a horrible caretaker.

Thanks for sharing. I understand, I always have, that siblings are not always God's gift.

But, maybe you now have a chance, if you so desire, to mend your relationships with your brothers ?

This must sound cliche to you, but look at it from the perspective of an only child (me, for instance) ... you have a walking talking chance to build and enjoy a good sibling relationship(s). I, on the other hand (along with a couple of others here) don't have that same chance ... and wish I/we did.

No, I know it's still not too late.. but I think I'm just a bad brother. I do try every once in a while but it doesn't always go well. Wish I had better results to showcase.

If nothing else it might have helped me develop better social skills before hitting adolescence.

On the other hand, knowing who and what my father is,  it was probably for the best.  I really don't envy my two half-brothers (no contact, and don't want any).

Well, surprisingly, I've always been worried about that. When we were younger, before I went to university, I was extremely introverted (even more so than now.. I know it's hard to believe) and my brother was becoming more and more like me in that regard :\ Instead it seems all the time alone he had because of me moving away has made him a much more outgoing and better person. Although remnants of my influence can still be seen.
I often think that it would be nice if both of my younger brothers had a better older brother... but well.. the past is the past.. all that one can do is try to improve.. not much more than that.

 

[mari1969]

I have 2 step sisters, our connection is only by phone or msg, they are my only family. When i was a child i wanted to have a big brother, i had the fantasy that he could protect me.
Now i dont know if have a bro or a sis will help with my loneliness. I feel that i only can have a deep connection with a partner.

 

[InfiniteIsolation]

Having sibling to play games over LAN would have been nice.

 

[Somnambulist]

Having sibling to play games over LAN would have been nice.

LMFAO !!!

Ever heard of bots ? Just create a few of those, and you're good to go !

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Ok, I understand. First off, I apologize if that comment of mine rubbed you the wrong way. It was NOT a judgment about your character, at all. It was purely in response to what you said. I think I was responding to you telling your sibling to "rot in hell, you piece of s***". For two reasons, that made me respond the way that I did, 1 - If I were your sibling who had committed s**cide, would you say the same about me ?, and 2 - I felt a sadness for your brother, because of what he clearly went through, causing him to take his own life, given my own experience. I was kind of like saying that we wouldn't be a good fit for each other as siblings, not that you are not good enough or anything like that.

I also feel sad whenever I hear people cursing at the dead, in general. I don't know why. Maybe it seems unfair because the dead can't respond. I just know that whenever I have cursed at people no longer in my life, I've always felt incredibly guilty and sad later.

I think it was also meant to be like what people sometimes say ... "I hope you never get mad at me !" when they observe someone losing his/her temper. I was kind of saying something similar ... hope you never call me a rotten piece of s*** for taking my life. Hope this makes sense.

Again, sorry about that ! No hard feelings ?

Now, getting back to your anger at your brother for deserting you, yes, it makes perfect sense, and I empathize with you 100%. He left you at a vulnerable time, and I'd be angry too.

No you misunderstand I'm angry at his sexual abuse of me which he compounded by his desertion I feel a child of 4 should have somewhat better expectations of an elder brother and his suicide many years later when he was in danger of being confronted by his actions prompted him to commit suicide rather than even attempt to make amends and I do feel entirely justified in feeling that this was the act of a coward but also an entirely deserved fate and would most definitely if it were possible wish on him the torment that he created for me