Worst experience asking somebody out

[ardour]

deleted..

 

[Triple Bogey]

Being mocked comes second to a hyper-anxious reaction. It makes you feel like a predator, like there's something very wrong with you. if someone gets upset what does that say? Women don't understand that.

Are you a woman? I didn't realize that you were. Of course, even if you are, you still wouldn't have a clue how every woman feels and reacts to any given situation. You could have years of university certified gender-based psychology knowledge, and you still wouldn't have a clue how half the human population feels or thinks.

You know what? I'll do you a favor and not comment much on the "witch hunt" post, even though it was offensive. I'll just say this:

You've posted your pic, no one but you thinks you're unattractive. Your problems with women lie elsewhere, within you. if you stopped being a judgmental misogynist and spent less time thinking up ridiculous crap like the witch hunt thing, maybe you could get to your real issues.

Totally disagree with that.
Even if he is a judgemental misogynist (I don't think he is), it's only because he has been rejected so much. I am sure he didn't start out with the attitude he has now. It's easy to criticize from a far when it isn't happening to you.

 

[Locke]

Being mocked comes second to a hyper-anxious reaction. It makes you feel like a predator, like there's something very wrong with you. if someone gets upset what does that say? Women don't understand that.

Are you a woman? I didn't realize that you were. Of course, even if you are, you still wouldn't have a clue how every woman feels and reacts to any given situation. You could have years of university certified gender-based psychology knowledge, and you still wouldn't have a clue how half the human population feels or thinks.

You know what? I'll do you a favor and not comment much on the "witch hunt" post, even though it was offensive. I'll just say this:

You've posted your pic, no one but you thinks you're unattractive. Your problems with women lie elsewhere, within you. if you stopped being a judgmental misogynist and spent less time thinking up ridiculous crap like the witch hunt thing, maybe you could get to your real issues.

Totally disagree with that.
Even if he is a judgemental misogynist (I don't think he is), it's only because he has been rejected so much. I am sure he didn't start out with the attitude he has now. It's easy to criticize from a far when it isn't happening to you.

A great many horrible things have happened to me. I know exactly what it's like to be treated poorly by people, as ardour says he has been treated by women. I grew up in an abusive home, and I've been rejected by women before. The difference is that I don't blame an entire gender for all of my problems. I don't continually label and generalize women.

Ardour has low self-esteem because of the way he's been treated, and that's understandable. What's not understandable is why he constantly speaks as if he knows everything about women. He is the one who rejects them. They're all pitchfork and torch wielding crazy people who are out to get him, in his opinion. Why should they give him a chance?

If he said half the crap he does about minorities or gay people, he'd get banned instantly. Of course he edits and changes almost every post he writes, so he can hide what he really thinks and who he really is. I guess he doesn't realize that people notice, but they do.

If you want to think I'm criticizing him, fine. He would get a lot further if he stopped blaming women for how *he* feels about himself though.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I wasn't aware that being rejected made someone entitled to be a "judgmental misogynist." It's not about what's done to you, it's about how YOU deal with it. That is no one's fault but your own, if you choose to be negative and judgmental...

 

[ardour]

He is the one who rejects them.

I have an assignment to finish, but that's a ridiculous statement.

 

[Locke]

Every time you approach a woman with a heart full of fear and anxiety, you reject them. Every time you come up with some crazy theory like the witch hunt thing, you reject them. Every time you think to yourself that you're too hideous to be accepted or loved, you reject them. Every time you put a woman under a microscope and examine every little thing she does and says, you reject them. You can complain all you want about how women made you feel this way, but these are your thoughts and feelings. It's up to you to deal with them. You can also claim that you do your best to hide these thoughts and feelings when you're around a woman. The way you think and feel has a direct effect on how you act around other people, and you aren't winning any acting awards.

But don't bother replying if you're busy, I won't be around much for a few days anyway. I hope you stop looking at me like I'm out to get you too, and think about what I said.

 

[Triple Bogey]

He is the one who rejects them.

I have an assignment to finish, but that's a ridiculous statement.

Yes it does sound ridiculous, bizarre even.

 

[blackdot]

How does this whole asking someone out thing work?

 

[SophiaGrace]

How does this whole asking someone out thing work?

I think what happens is that you just hang out with someone until you both are like "So....are we dating?"

or you ask someone to dinner that you like.


I think...

 

[Pike Creek]

Totally disagree with that.
Even if he is a judgemental misogynist (I don't think he is), it's only because he has been rejected so much. I am sure he didn't start out with the attitude he has now. It's easy to criticize from a far when it isn't happening to you.

I agree that a person's experience shapes their attitudes and actions. But I also think everyone has the responsibility to make themselves happy, nobody else can really do that for us. Generally speaking, if we continue to see the opposite sex in a negative way, it really does project out to them and they perceive it.

My example of that is I had a really bad upbringing which made me fear any man who became angry in the least with me. My solution was to avoid the situation and men in general, and because of this, it made me fearful of all men and I didn't ever want to show vulnerability around them, which of course, was obvious to them, and rendered my love life nil for many years. When I decided to face that fear I had lots of ups and downs, but I found that the dating world did open up to me. I had a lot of good and bad dates, but I decided not to hold anything against a new man I met because of the experiences I had with abusive men in my past. It wasn't easy, but I trained myself to be baggage-free...well, as much as one possibly can be, I think we all hold some baggage, but I managed to keep it separate from my new relationships.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

How does this whole asking someone out thing work?

I think what happens is that you just hang out with someone until you both are like "So....are we dating?"

or you ask someone to dinner that you like.


I think...

Naw, go up to random stranger and say your place or mine

Sometimes it works

 

[Triple Bogey]

How does this whole asking someone out thing work?

You invite a person somewhere and they say either 'yes' or 'no'
It sounds easy but it isn't for some people.

---

Totally disagree with that.
Even if he is a judgemental misogynist (I don't think he is), it's only because he has been rejected so much. I am sure he didn't start out with the attitude he has now. It's easy to criticize from a far when it isn't happening to you.

I agree that a person's experience shapes their attitudes and actions. But I also think everyone has the responsibility to make themselves happy, nobody else can really do that for us. Generally speaking, if we continue to see the opposite sex in a negative way, it really does project out to them and they perceive it.

My example of that is I had a really bad upbringing which made me fear any man who became angry in the least with me. My solution was to avoid the situation and men in general, and because of this, it made me fearful of all men and I didn't ever want to show vulnerability around them, which of course, was obvious to them, and rendered my love life nil for many years. When I decided to face that fear I had lots of ups and downs, but I found that the dating world did open up to me. I had a lot of good and bad dates, but I decided not to hold anything against a new man I met because of the experiences I had with abusive men in my past. It wasn't easy, but I trained myself to be baggage-free...well, as much as one possibly can be, I think we all hold some baggage, but I managed to keep it separate from my new relationships.

Yes I agree. Negative people are such a turn off.

The past has it's place is a good saying.

 

[Locke]

He is the one who rejects them.

I have an assignment to finish, but that's a ridiculous statement.

Yes it does sound ridiculous, bizarre even.

Oh, does it now? How exactly is it bizarre for me to tell him that he shouldn't blame an entire gender for his problems? That how he thinks effects the way he acts? Do you have an explanation, or just pointless, absurd comments? Care to explain at all?

But this is coming from a guy who pretends to be nice to a girl at work, and then comes here and talks complete **** about her. A guy who drones on about golf, while complaining that other people are boring. A guy who earlier claimed in this thread that it's all right to be a misogynist, as long as you've been rejected enough. I guess hoping that you would understand why treating women with respect was far too much to hope for.

You want to have an actual debate about what I said, I'm all for it. But if you want to insult my posts...well, there's a hell of a lot more to insult in yours.

 

[Triple Bogey]

He is the one who rejects them.

I have an assignment to finish, but that's a ridiculous statement.

Yes it does sound ridiculous, bizarre even.

Oh, does it now? How exactly is it bizarre for me to tell him that he shouldn't blame an entire gender for his problems? That how he thinks effects the way he acts? Do you have an explanation, or just pointless, absurd comments? Care to explain at all?

But this is coming from a guy who pretends to be nice to a girl at work, and then comes here and talks complete **** about her. A guy who drones on about golf, while complaining that other people are boring. A guy who earlier claimed in this thread that it's all right to be a misogynist, as long as you've been rejected enough. I guess hoping that you would understand why treating women with respect was far too much to hope for.

You want to have an actual debate about what I said, I'm all for it. But if you want to insult my posts...well, there's a hell of a lot more to insult in yours.

thanks mate.

 

[Locke]

thanks mate.

We are not mates. Enjoy your golf game today though.

And again, no explanation. You're disappointing.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Somebody who has suffered rejection all their lives : You can't turn around and say there is nothing wrong with you apart from your attitude. Wrong ! Wrong ! Wrong !
Photos are misleading. A cherry picked photo on a good day doesn't really represent what that person really looks like or how they act.
Some people aren't necessary ugly, they have miserable looking faces, have poor body language, they have dreary sounding voices, wear drab clothes. Don't keep themselves clean etc.
And yes attitude does come into it. A lot of people are just plain miserable and it isn't fun to be around them. And they probably don't realize what they are like or how they come across to people.
It is no wonder they don't get many dates.

That is what I meant. I have heard that about me from people on forums. They don't realize because they don't know me. They say I am normal and I look normal. They are wrong. It isn't my attitude that's the problem. It's how I appear to people, it's what they see and hear. I don't blame them.

 

[Locke]

Somebody who has suffered rejection all their lives : You can't turn around and say there is nothing wrong with you apart from your attitude. Wrong ! Wrong ! Wrong !
Photos are misleading. A cherry picked photo on a good day doesn't really represent what that person really looks like or how they act.
Some people aren't necessary ugly, they have miserable looking faces, have poor body language, they have dreary sounding voices, wear drab clothes. Don't keep themselves clean etc.
And yes attitude does come into it. A lot of people are just plain miserable and it isn't fun to be around them. And they probably don't realize what they are like or how they come across to people.
It is no wonder they don't get many dates.

That is what I meant. I have heard that about me from people on forums. They don't realize because they don't know me. They say I am normal and I look normal. They are wrong. It isn't my attitude that's the problem. It's how I appear to people, it's what they see and hear. I don't blame them.

Oh, okay. Now you want to talk.

Rejection isn't an excuse for misogyny. if you think it is, then your attitude is the problem.

How you act is far more important than what you look like. Firstly, there's very little you can do about your physical appearance, and dwelling on it for years on end will not help you. But you can change your attitude. If you believe that all women are going to reject you, you are rejecting them first. It's as simple as that. If you spend all of your time coming up with wild theories claiming that women are all out to get you, you judge them all. Again, self-induced rejection. If you tell yourself that you are too ugly to be loved several times a day, you're not only hurting yourself, you are making the decision for every women that you're too ugly to be loved. Rejection, all of it. Only women aren't the cause.

 

[Ymir]

Dude just ignored me. To this day, when we meet he acts like it never happened and still has the balls to complain when I don't want to hug him or kiss him like before.

NO JOKE MATE.

 

[ardour]

A cherry picked photo on a good day doesn't really represent what that person really looks like or how they act.
Some people aren't necessary ugly, they have miserable looking faces...

YUSS.

That was the best photo of the lot. Yet it's still kind of shocking to look back at it; such a nasty expression in complete contrast to most people's effortlessly pleasant ones in that thread.

You know what Locke's going to say before he says it, it's really just a pointless sort of debate. May as well just skip to the part where it descends into insults and mutual antipathy.

 

[Locke]

A cherry picked photo on a good day doesn't really represent what that person really looks like or how they act.
Some people aren't necessary ugly, they have miserable looking faces...

YUSS.

That was the best photo of the lot. Yet it's still kind of shocking to look back at it; such a nasty expression in complete contrast to most people's effortlessly pleasant appearances in that thread.

You know what Locke's going to say before he says it, so it's really just a pointless sort of debate.

You know that Locke isn't the one who calls himself ugly on a daily basis, and not the one who pretends that the world is against him, right?

You don't want to debate, then don't. Continue to wallow in your low self-esteem, bitterness and despair. Because it's done so much for you up until this point, right?