Worst experience asking somebody out

[ardour]

Debate requires genuine contemplation of another perspective while being open to modifying ideas. Clearly that isn't you either. It's the same sort of answer no matter the circumstances.

 

[Locke]

Debate requires someone to genuinely contemplate another perspective and be open to modifying their ideas. Clearly that isn't you either. It's the same sort of answer no matter the circumstances.

Unlike yours, my debate doesn't revolve around "Wahhhh! Women all hate me 'cos I'm ugly! Also FEMINISTS! RUN!!!!!"

All this crap is in your head. Grow the hell up. Take responsibility for your issues instead of blaming others.

 

[ardour]

Oh, does it now? How exactly is it bizarre for me to tell him that he shouldn't blame an entire gender for his problems?

The anti-misogynist warrior is up on his soap box. More rep points coming your way.

The analogy to racism and homophobia was way off the mark. I don't resent women because they're women. If I resent them its because of the *chosen* attitudes of some and I have every right to feel that way just as women who've been groped, seriously assaulted or treated as disposable naturally loathe men (I"m not saying my experiences are anything like as bad but you wouldn't dare question them over it) If someone views me with contempt I'm not going to feel well-disposed towards them. That simple.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Doesn't matter if you've never been rejected or have been rejected all your life. It IS on you to decide how YOU let it shape your thoughts and emotions.
It's not about what's happened to you, it's about how you deal with it. Regardless of what you've been through in life or haven't been through, doesn't change that fact. If you want to be negative and only see bad, you will. If you focus on more positive things and you don't let the negative invade your life to the point of being misogynistic about everything, you CAN be content with who you are and what you have.

You don't need to have been through a horrible life of rejection to understand this, you just have to WANT to understand this. However, it's easier for people to blame others for their problems than to look at themselves, so there you go. It can be equated to living in denial.

---

I don't resent women because they're women, if I resent them its because of the *chosen* attitudes of some.

Wait, so you resent ALL women because SOME women are *******?

 

[Locke]

Oh, does it now? How exactly is it bizarre for me to tell him that he shouldn't blame an entire gender for his problems?

The anti-misogynist warrior is up on his soap box again....

Your analogy to racism and homophobia was way off the mark. I don't resent women because they're women, if I resent them its because of the *chosen* attitudes of some.

Right. I guess your attitude is excusable because you think you're unattractive. =/ My post wasn't off the mark at all. You're scared to death of women, and instead of dealing with your fear, you hate them for it. All you do is post about how women have it easier than you do, but I seriously doubt you've asked a woman out in years.

Your chosen attitude stinks of despair and anger.

I have to go talk to a girl now =) Feel free to keep crying and wallowing in your self-defeating thoughts. Good luck with all that, really. Lol.

 

[ardour]

Wait, so you resent ALL women because SOME women are *******?

"*******" - basketcases is more accurate.

Some people appear nice enough on the surface until you finally realize all sorts of nasty judgements have been made that you've been totally unaware of.

The smile is often a defensive thing. They smile because they're worried about how you might otherwise respond. Or it's the complete opposite polite but cold attitude in case you "get the wrong idea". A bit of radical feminist/prog politics influence on an already neurotic person is a toxic combination.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I personally think Locke and Callie made some good points here. I didn't read earlier in this thread so forgive me if others have also pointed out similar things. Also, I can see where both ardour and TB are coming from, because of the constant rejections / failed attempts at women. It's easy to just fall into the category of thinking that if something keeps happening to me, then it will just be the same way. I, too, am guilty of this mindset at times, even now. But then really, do you think life is all about surrendering to what you think might happen just because it did happen before? Don't you think that there are a lot of unpredictable moments and opportunities in life that will only uncover if you try and take that risk?

They always say that for some people, you have to fail a lot of times before actually succeeding, and when you do, it's well worth it because along the journey, you've picked up and learnt so much just getting to where you are.

I kinda agree with Locke when he said this:

If you believe that all women are going to reject you, you are rejecting them first. It's as simple as that. If you spend all of your time coming up with wild theories claiming that women are all out to get you, you judge them all. Again, self-induced rejection. If you tell yourself that you are too ugly to be loved several times a day, you're not only hurting yourself, you are making the decision for every women that you're too ugly to be loved. Rejection, all of it. Only women aren't the cause.

I believe I have experienced this myself. Thinking this way, and thinking otherwise. And they both gave me different outcomes, and proves to me that if I have some self-confidence and think just some good of myself, good things will come my way.

I really don't see what there is to debate here, between anyone in this thread. It's a matter of perspectives, and if someone just prefers to continue to dwell and sit in their negativity in life, then so be it. They will likely not see much change in their future. But if they are willing to be open minded and consider what others are saying, and realise that the reason why people even bother to respond and explain and discuss this is because they care, and they actually do try to look at others positively, despite such horrible experiences from before, than I'd say they are rising above and should continue to do good and think good because then good things will come their way.

Anyway, this is just what I believe. Of course this doesn't have to mean anything to anyone, but I'm just saying what I've experienced and what I know.. from these experiences. I'm not siding anyone on here, but I realise that Locke is really trying to help more than he is trying to debate.. I'd hate to see my dear forum members arguing on this topic. We each have different opinions.. but we grow and develop by acknowledging and understanding other's opinions as well.

 

[Badjedidude]

I ask a fier hydrant on daet one tim..
when eth fire came,
and it suck someonne else's hosre..
kimmy asking me about it
I laughed and said...
...you never knwo who is trsutsworthy,
even a fire hydrent lol

that was teh worst time..
..to ask out for me.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I ask a fier hydrant on daet one tim..
when eth fire came,
and it suck someonne else's hosre..
kimmy asking me about it
I laughed and said...
...you never knwo who is trsutsworthy,
even a fire hydrent lol

that was teh worst time..
..to ask out for me.

:club: That hurt to read (crs)

 

[Triple Bogey]

we should do a 'best experience' asking someone out thread to balance things out

 

[Peaches]

we should do a 'best experience' asking someone out thread to balance things out

definitely

---

don't know if this is in theme but I will never forget how this guy who I really liked and esteemed and with whom I would have wanted to be friends with for a lifetime and maybe something more romantic, how he just deleted me from his life after calling me an arrogant bitch who "made him feel less of a man" through the "sting of rejection", because he asked me out on a date and I dared to reply: "I am going through a really difficult moment, no job, no house, no friends, right now I don't date but I really care about you and would like to know you better".
Now, THAT is rejection, if you ask me.
Sorry about the "parable" approach. But yeah, sometimes people (both women and men) reject themselves/a relationship before others actually do it.

No relation to whatever you guys were fighting about, didn't read the whole thread… hope it's not a real fight, really, we are all in the same boat-forum after all

 

[ardour]

forget it..

 

[Triple Bogey]

we should do a 'best experience' asking someone out thread to balance things out

definitely

---

don't know if this is in theme but I will never forget how this guy who I really liked and esteemed and with whom I would have wanted to be friends with for a lifetime and maybe something more romantic, how he just deleted me from his life after calling me an arrogant bitch who "made him feel less of a man" through the "sting of rejection", because he asked me out on a date and I dared to reply: "I am going through a really difficult moment, no job, no house, no friends, right now I don't date but I really care about you and would like to know you better".
Now, THAT is rejection, if you ask me.
Sorry about the "parable" approach. But yeah, sometimes people (both women and men) reject themselves/a relationship before others actually do it.

No relation to whatever you guys were fighting about, didn't read the whole thread… hope it's not a real fight, really, we are all in the same boat-forum after all

---

I am sure it's not a real fight either.

 

[Locke]

It's a complete waste of time and effort trying to talk sense into people who would rather be miserable and blame others for their problems. They'll still blame others for their misery for years, because they like dwelling on it and avoiding responsibility, I guess. I'm happy, and will continue to be happy for as long I avoid their mistakes (so forever).

It's not worth fighting with people who won't do anything to improve their lives, so no, not a real fight.

 

[Triple Bogey]

forget it..

okay

 

[Rosebolt]

Oh, does it now? How exactly is it bizarre for me to tell him that he shouldn't blame an entire gender for his problems? That how he thinks effects the way he acts? Do you have an explanation, or just pointless, absurd comments? Care to explain at all?

But this is coming from a guy who pretends to be nice to a girl at work, and then comes here and talks complete **** about her. A guy who drones on about golf, while complaining that other people are boring. A guy who earlier claimed in this thread that it's all right to be a misogynist, as long as you've been rejected enough. I guess hoping that you would understand why treating women with respect was far too much to hope for.

You want to have an actual debate about what I said, I'm all for it. But if you want to insult my posts...well, there's a hell of a lot more to insult in yours.

This one bothers me. This post, i mean. While i obviously agree with the statement that hating on women is wrong, no matter what reason, i also believe that hating in general is wrong. The bolded text just does not sit right with me. It does not seem like a discussion you three are having, but just spewing insults back and forth. I highly doubt that is going to be an effective way of trying to convince people that mindset plays such a great role, if your own mindset involves insulting people.

Look, i understand the frustration. I too wish that mysoginy would be wiped from the face of the earth, same goes for hate in general. Fighting fire with fighting has obviously proved ineffective. Try taking an approach of love, it should be far more effective.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Try taking an approach of love, it should be far more effective.

 

[Locke]

Look, i understand the frustration. I too wish that mysoginy would be wiped from the face of the earth, same goes for hate in general. Fighting fire with fighting has obviously proved ineffective. Try taking an approach of love, it should be far more effective.

I was perfectly willing to discuses the issues with them, but he attacked me first by calling my post bizarre. If you want to love a couple of guys who do nothing but talk **** about women they work with (or women in general in ardour's case) you go ahead, but leave me out of it.

Months of love and coddling hasn't done either of them a damn bit of good. One of them continues to post the same hateful crap because he doesn't want to take responsibility for his life and issues. I was being honest, all of it is in his head. I think a lot more honesty and less "It's okay that you're a hateful, delusional misogynist!" would do him some good. If he takes the truth personally, it's on him, not me.

I hope that's clear enough for you. I am not going to stop defending myself when attacked just because you don't like it, and I will not stop standing up for what I believe in. If you have a problem with that, it's purely your problem, and I am not open to debate about the issue.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Look, i understand the frustration. I too wish that mysoginy would be wiped from the face of the earth, same goes for hate in general. Fighting fire with fighting has obviously proved ineffective. Try taking an approach of love, it should be far more effective.

I was perfectly willing to discuses the issues with them, but he attacked me first by calling my post bizarre. If you want to love a couple of guys who do nothing but talk **** about women they work with (or women in general in ardour's case) you go ahead, but leave me out of it.

Months of love and coddling hasn't done either of them a damn bit of good. One of them continues to post the same hateful crap because he doesn't want to take responsibility for his life and issues. I was being honest, all of it is in his head. I think a lot more honesty and less "It's okay that you're a hateful, delusional misogynist!" would do him some good. If he takes the truth personally, it's on him, not me.

I hope that's clear enough for you. I am not going to stop defending myself when attacked just because you don't like it, and I will not stop standing up for what I believe in. If you have a problem with that, it's purely your problem, and I am not open to debate about the issue.

Yup

 

[Badjedidude]

HEY EVERYONE

HERE IS A HAPPY