Would you consider a matchmaker?

[Alonewith2cats]

I might do it. The worst that can happen is the dates don't work out. No different than the dates that didn't work out from OK Cupid. I think I'll put it off until after my trip to Germany in September and maybe even after Christmas. I want to make sure I have enough money.

 

[ladyforsaken]

A matchmaker to set up dates, or an arranged marriage?

Not the arranged marriage kind of matchmaking. I was only referring to the kind where you hire someone to set up dates for you.

Ooh. Hmm if I was single and bored, and looking for someone like that, and when I feel brave and confident enough, maybe. Otherwise, I don't think I'd be confident enough for it. :\

 

[Triple Bogey]

it could be a big waste of money.

I remember seeing this advert in my local paper years ago. Called 'Introductions' - the deal was you went to see them and then they matched you with suitable people.
This was before online dating. Sounds good in theory but like most things, I feel it would be a struggle for me to be matched with anyone.

 

[sk66rc]

On few occasions, I went out on a date with a woman that a friend of mine set me up with... Does that count as match making? I'm not really against the idea but once the whole situation put my friend on an awkward situation because woman & I didn't work out...

 

[Solivagant]

Just curious if there were any other opinions on this, since we seem to have some new regulars about?

 

[h3donist]

I don't see anything wrong with a friend knowing you are single and helping introduce you to potential dates, as long as they agree not to meddle once the date has been arranged.

But a professional service where, let's be honest, they're trying to make money, then I'd be extremely wary. After all as far as they are concerned, they just want to put two people together then collect their bill - they don't care if it doesn't work out, in fact it probably generates more money by putting two incompatible people together so that the date is a disaster and the two parties have to start all over again (with another fee of course).

At least with web dating you can choose not to pay until you spot somebody you want to communicate with on your terms. I think matchmaking/introductory agencies belong to a bygone era.

Plus whenever I think about matchmaking agencies, I just think of this scene from BBC's "Bottom" [video=youtube]

 

[Triple Bogey]

I know a lot of women mostly thru work. They all have friends and some of them will be single women. Do any of them try and match make with them ?
No. It's a clear sign they don't see me as dateable.

 

[looking glass]

When I brought that up with my friends and said that I'd be nice if I was introduced to someone my friends declined. One said that he doesn't know any single women who he likes enough to introduce me to them, another said that he'd feel very bad if it didn't work out and I guess that was kind of the general consensus there.

I don't know whether they really mean it like that or whether there are some other hidden motives.


So since I cannot meet any women through work (since there are no single women there) I'd actually consider paying someone to do the matchmaking. It depends on the price, of course, because I couldn't afford paying a lot of money so I'd have to first find out what it costs.

Though I guess I'd try speed dating before I'd consider a hire matchmaker as a last resort after joining clubs and doing online dating didn't work out.

 

[Solivagant]

I'm kind of surprised there aren't more people here who like this idea. I see so many worries and complaints about making the first approach, and a matchmaker essentially eliminates that step.


One advantage I could see over a setup is that you can be completely upfront with a matchmaker about what you're looking for and what you find attractive (and in fact it's in your mutual best interest to do so), probably more honest than you'd be with someone in your social circle who might want to set you up. A matchmaker may also be able to analyze your needs more objectively. A neutral party can often see things about you that you don't see yourself. (And personally, my family and acquaintances don't know me that well at all, not to mention having fewer people in their acquaintance to introduce me to, so a matchmaker would have at least as good a chance at finding me a compatible match. I'm only speaking for myself there, but I think the case is the same for a lot of people.)

I don't agree that it would benefit a matchmaker's business to put incompatible people together just to collect a bill. For one thing, no one would suggest or refer their services if they did that. For another thing, people tend to get frustrated and give up easily when it comes to unsuccessful dating. Hardly anyone would continue to pay for a service that wasn't working for them. Some people would give up after the first try if they didn't get it right. It's in the matchmaker's best interest to be helpful, and overall I think the kind of people who choose that profession genuinely want to do that. They find it rewarding and take pride in their work, as much as anyone else who starts a business.

 

[BeyondShy]

Honestly, I'd do it. I just do not know of any local matchmakers. I do not like how I am right now and I really believe some companionship and someone to talk to would help me be more like the person I know I am.

 

[TheSkaFish]

At this point I would consider it.

I'm curious to see who anyone would match me with anyway.
I have no idea what kind of person would like me.
What would my matches even be like?
Would I have any at all?

I also wonder, if I knew what my full potential was, and actually achieved it, would it have any effect on my matches?
Would I have any more matches, and would I like them any more?
Would it be the same?
Would it still be none at all?

I don't know.

I wish I knew what missing pieces I needed to find, and where to look for them, to make myself into someone that was actually the match that someone was looking for. Instead, all I know is it's not me, not how I've lived, not what I'm thinking/doing. All I know is that I have to be someone else.

 

[okidoke]

The service would have to be very thorough and intimate with its questions. It's all very well ticking the same boxes for "love walking on the beach", "holding hands", "going to the movies", etc, but if there's a sexual disparity, forget it.

 

[4No1]

I wound't trust people such a sensitive thing. But I think an ANN(or AI) can do it, I would consider it then, why not.

 

[user 135671]

Yeah, why not. I'm not fussy if they're fit there's a good chance I'll roger 'em regardless of occupation.

 

[Minus]

I tend to doubt it but couldn't really say.