You’re single because you’re ugly

[ardour]

That assumes those women were familiar enough with him beforehand to reject him over an attitude. It's more likely the basics: lack of social skills/charisma, plus maybe not looking so good that led to the rejections. Misogynists get into relationships all the time.

 

[TheRealCallie]

That assumes those women were familiar enough with him beforehand  to reject him over an attitude. It's more likely the basics:  lack of  social skills/charisma, plus maybe not looking so good that caused him to get rejected.  Holding negative attitudes doesn't  help but at the same time it's not like people can mindread.

Perhaps they can't read minds, but I've said it before I will say it again.  Negative attitudes send out a vibe.  People can sense them.  You don't have to believe me, if you don't want to, but it's true. You can typically tell by looking at people what kind of outlook on life they have.

 

[mgill]

Maybe that they aren't serial killers?  And again, NOT because of looks.....Not sure what you aren't getting about that. 

And your friends likely wouldn't say anything about it because they aren't dating you so it's not their problem.  I bet they have noticed it.  And yes, I am well aware what you believe your problem is....

they would certainly let me know-either directly or indirectly-if they felt my attitude was a problem.

---

That assumes those women were familiar enough with him beforehand  to reject him over an attitude. It's more likely the basics:  lack of  social skills/charisma, plus maybe not looking so good that led to the rejections.  Misogynists get into relationships all the time.

some were, some were not.  the whole charisma/social skills thing is just another name for physical attractiveness-or in my case, an extreme lack thereof.

---

That assumes those women were familiar enough with him beforehand  to reject him over an attitude. It's more likely the basics:  lack of  social skills/charisma, plus maybe not looking so good that caused him to get rejected.  Holding negative attitudes doesn't  help but at the same time it's not like people can mindread.

Perhaps they can't read minds, but I've said it before I will say it again.  Negative attitudes send out a vibe.  People can sense them.  You don't have to believe me, if you don't want to, but it's true. You can typically tell by looking at people what kind of outlook on life they have.

so is this vibe similar to the one's sent out by abusive men? it would seem if this were the case then there would rarely or never be cases of spousal abuse as the women would never get involved with men like this in the first place.  could Lacy Peterson sense that her husband was going to murder her? what about men who scam women out of their money by seducing them? if not, why is this sixth sense somehow limited to negative attitudes and not these other, far more dangerous hidden attitudes?

 

[TheRealCallie]

See, this is why I refuse to do any kind of real research and provide you with articles and studies. Partly because I actually know how to research and look for things that are TRUE and not just what I want to believe and partly because you will somehow find it not good enough or this or that because you seem to have no real desire to change anything and of course, because I'm not going to waste even more time on someone that clearly doesn't want help. You seem to like being negative too much. You seem to enjoy telling other people that they don't have a right to complain because you have it worse than they do.

There are studies and lots and lots of articles about sensing good and bad vibes. Look it up yourself.

 

[mgill]

See, this is why I refuse to do any kind of real research and provide you with articles and studies.  Partly because I actually know how to research and look for things that are TRUE and not just what I want to believe and partly because you will somehow find it not good enough or this or that because you seem to have no real desire to change anything and of course, because I'm not going to waste even more time on someone that clearly doesn't want help.  You seem to like being negative too much.  You seem to enjoy telling other people that they don't have a right to complain because you have it worse than they do. 

There are studies and lots and lots of articles about sensing good and bad vibes.  Look it up yourself.

fair enough.  of course i have a tremendous desire to change things but the truth is the things which matter most cannot be changed of improved. i don't enjoy being negative but that's the way the world works, like it or not, and one has to have something to be positive about which is almost always based on having success.  i don't recall ever telling anyone they have no right to complain or that i have it worse than anyone either but am merley relating my own personal experience of being a lonely, short, ugly bald man in a world which operates so strongly on physical apperance.

 

[TheRealCallie]

See, this is why I refuse to do any kind of real research and provide you with articles and studies.  Partly because I actually know how to research and look for things that are TRUE and not just what I want to believe and partly because you will somehow find it not good enough or this or that because you seem to have no real desire to change anything and of course, because I'm not going to waste even more time on someone that clearly doesn't want help.  You seem to like being negative too much.  You seem to enjoy telling other people that they don't have a right to complain because you have it worse than they do. 

There are studies and lots and lots of articles about sensing good and bad vibes.  Look it up yourself.

fair enough.  of course i have a tremendous desire to change things but the truth is the things which matter most cannot be changed of improved. i don't enjoy being negative but that's the way the world works, like it or not, and one has to have something to be positive about which is almost always based on having success.  i don't recall ever telling anyone they have no right to complain or that i have it worse than anyone either but am merley relating my own personal experience of being a lonely, short, ugly bald man in a world which operates so strongly on physical apperance.

See, this is where you are wrong.  You CAN change ****.  Of course you can't change your looks unless you are willing to get plastic surgery, but you could do other things to improve your appearance, though I still believe you are not as ugly as you claim to be.  I would love to see a picture of you, even via PM, if you prefer. I really don't understand where you are getting your information about bald being a major turnoff to women because there are A LOT of sexy bald men out there.  It is true that only being partially bald can be a turn off, but you could shave it all off if that's the case.  As for the short part, 5'6 is NOT that short and there are plenty of women that are shorter than that and would be willing to date someone who is 5'6.  Yes, a lot of women like taller men, but to say there are none that would date you because of your height is not true. 
Will it be a little harder for you to find someone?  Yeah, probably, but so what.  If that's what you really want in life, why wouldn't you do everything you can to make that happen? 
Tell me a few positive things about yourself and your life.

 

[user 115627]

There are studies and lots and lots of articles about sensing good and bad vibes.  Look it up yourself.

I want to discuss this sometime (but please not here), because that is talked about here so often and it sounds like spiritual gobbledygook when not elaborated on. But from what I understand this is just the combined impressions of facial cues, audible reactions (coughs, breathing patterns) and chemosignals (body odor).

 

[Autumntranspire]

meep

 

[Aardra]

meep

Moop.

 

[Autumntranspire]

meep

Moop.

That's the spirit! X)

 

[mgill]

See, this is why I refuse to do any kind of real research and provide you with articles and studies.  Partly because I actually know how to research and look for things that are TRUE and not just what I want to believe and partly because you will somehow find it not good enough or this or that because you seem to have no real desire to change anything and of course, because I'm not going to waste even more time on someone that clearly doesn't want help.  You seem to like being negative too much.  You seem to enjoy telling other people that they don't have a right to complain because you have it worse than they do. 

There are studies and lots and lots of articles about sensing good and bad vibes.  Look it up yourself.

fair enough.  of course i have a tremendous desire to change things but the truth is the things which matter most cannot be changed of improved. i don't enjoy being negative but that's the way the world works, like it or not, and one has to have something to be positive about which is almost always based on having success.  i don't recall ever telling anyone they have no right to complain or that i have it worse than anyone either but am merley relating my own personal experience of being a lonely, short, ugly bald man in a world which operates so strongly on physical apperance.

See, this is where you are wrong.  You CAN change ****.  Of course you can't change your looks unless you are willing to get plastic surgery, but you could do other things to improve your appearance, though I still believe you are not as ugly as you claim to be.  I would love to see a picture of you, even via PM, if you prefer. I really don't understand where you are getting your information about bald being a major turnoff to women because there are A LOT of sexy bald men out there.  It is true that only being partially bald can be a turn off, but you could shave it all off if that's the case.  As for the short part, 5'6 is NOT that short and there are plenty of women that are shorter than that and would be willing to date someone who is 5'6.  Yes, a lot of women like taller men, but to say there are none that would date you because of your height is not true. 
Will it be a little harder for you to find someone?  Yeah, probably, but so what.  If that's what you really want in life, why wouldn't you do everything you can to make that happen? 
Tell me a few positive things about yourself and your life.

i am pretty ripped from a very clean vegan diet & intense weight training. i am also very healthy (have not been to a doctor in around 20 years), make over 6 figures & have zero debt.  my head is already shaved and has been for a long time. i actually have a pretty good life aside from having zero success with women. i feel i have done just about everything already yet have only had rejections.

 

[Aardra]

As a woman who is 6'4'', really, height is not a deal-breaker. I mean I had a massive crush on Peter Dinklage for the longest time.

Of course looks matter. Women make judgment calls on physical appearance the same way men do. But I guarantee you that I and most other women can start talking to a guy we're not attracted to physically and by the end of the conversation be head over heels simply because he demonstrated basic qualities like kindness, empathy, a good sense of humor, et cetera. I haven't really experienced that kind of dynamic from men towards women.

 

[TheRealCallie]

See, this is why I refuse to do any kind of real research and provide you with articles and studies.  Partly because I actually know how to research and look for things that are TRUE and not just what I want to believe and partly because you will somehow find it not good enough or this or that because you seem to have no real desire to change anything and of course, because I'm not going to waste even more time on someone that clearly doesn't want help.  You seem to like being negative too much.  You seem to enjoy telling other people that they don't have a right to complain because you have it worse than they do. 

There are studies and lots and lots of articles about sensing good and bad vibes.  Look it up yourself.

fair enough.  of course i have a tremendous desire to change things but the truth is the things which matter most cannot be changed of improved. i don't enjoy being negative but that's the way the world works, like it or not, and one has to have something to be positive about which is almost always based on having success.  i don't recall ever telling anyone they have no right to complain or that i have it worse than anyone either but am merley relating my own personal experience of being a lonely, short, ugly bald man in a world which operates so strongly on physical apperance.

See, this is where you are wrong.  You CAN change ****.  Of course you can't change your looks unless you are willing to get plastic surgery, but you could do other things to improve your appearance, though I still believe you are not as ugly as you claim to be.  I would love to see a picture of you, even via PM, if you prefer. I really don't understand where you are getting your information about bald being a major turnoff to women because there are A LOT of sexy bald men out there.  It is true that only being partially bald can be a turn off, but you could shave it all off if that's the case.  As for the short part, 5'6 is NOT that short and there are plenty of women that are shorter than that and would be willing to date someone who is 5'6.  Yes, a lot of women like taller men, but to say there are none that would date you because of your height is not true. 
Will it be a little harder for you to find someone?  Yeah, probably, but so what.  If that's what you really want in life, why wouldn't you do everything you can to make that happen? 
Tell me a few positive things about yourself and your life.

i am pretty ripped from a very clean vegan diet & intense weight training. i am also very healthy (have not been to a doctor in around 20 years), make over 6 figures & have zero debt.  my head is already shaved and has been for a long time. i actually have a pretty good life aside from having zero success with women. i feel i have done just about everything already yet have only had rejections.

Okay, I have to ask.  If you haven't been to a doctor in 20 years, how do you know you are healthy?  I mean there are a lot of things you could have and not even know it.  Do you get bloodwork done to know you don't have anything going on?

Aside from that, the rest of it sounds great (other than the pushiness of the vegan stuff. lol)  Now I am even more curious about what you look like.

 

[mgill]

See, this is why I refuse to do any kind of real research and provide you with articles and studies.  Partly because I actually know how to research and look for things that are TRUE and not just what I want to believe and partly because you will somehow find it not good enough or this or that because you seem to have no real desire to change anything and of course, because I'm not going to waste even more time on someone that clearly doesn't want help.  You seem to like being negative too much.  You seem to enjoy telling other people that they don't have a right to complain because you have it worse than they do. 

There are studies and lots and lots of articles about sensing good and bad vibes.  Look it up yourself.

fair enough.  of course i have a tremendous desire to change things but the truth is the things which matter most cannot be changed of improved. i don't enjoy being negative but that's the way the world works, like it or not, and one has to have something to be positive about which is almost always based on having success.  i don't recall ever telling anyone they have no right to complain or that i have it worse than anyone either but am merley relating my own personal experience of being a lonely, short, ugly bald man in a world which operates so strongly on physical apperance.

See, this is where you are wrong.  You CAN change ****.  Of course you can't change your looks unless you are willing to get plastic surgery, but you could do other things to improve your appearance, though I still believe you are not as ugly as you claim to be.  I would love to see a picture of you, even via PM, if you prefer. I really don't understand where you are getting your information about bald being a major turnoff to women because there are A LOT of sexy bald men out there.  It is true that only being partially bald can be a turn off, but you could shave it all off if that's the case.  As for the short part, 5'6 is NOT that short and there are plenty of women that are shorter than that and would be willing to date someone who is 5'6.  Yes, a lot of women like taller men, but to say there are none that would date you because of your height is not true. 
Will it be a little harder for you to find someone?  Yeah, probably, but so what.  If that's what you really want in life, why wouldn't you do everything you can to make that happen? 
Tell me a few positive things about yourself and your life.

i am pretty ripped from a very clean vegan diet & intense weight training. i am also very healthy (have not been to a doctor in around 20 years), make over 6 figures & have zero debt.  my head is already shaved and has been for a long time. i actually have a pretty good life aside from having zero success with women. i feel i have done just about everything already yet have only had rejections.

Okay, I have to ask.  If you haven't been to a doctor in 20 years, how do you know you are healthy?  I mean there are a lot of things you could have and not even know it.  Do you get bloodwork done to know you don't have anything going on?

Aside from that, the rest of it sounds great (other than the pushiness of the vegan stuff. lol)  Now I am even more curious about what you look like.

i get a full blood screen annually at work as part of our wellness program.  a big reason for my great health is due to the diet (been vegan for around 15 years) but the health effects are just a bonus as i went vegan for ethical & moral reasons.  i don't think promoting veganism is any more pushy than trying to stop cruelty to dogs and cats or promoting anti-racsism. it is actually a social justice movement based on non-violence rather than just a mere dietary choice.

---

As a woman who is 6'4'', really, height is not a deal-breaker. I mean I had a massive crush on Peter Dinklage for the longest time.

Of course looks matter. Women make judgment calls on physical appearance the same way men do. But I guarantee you that I and most other women can start talking to a guy we're not attracted to physically and by the end of the conversation be head over heels simply because he demonstrated basic qualities like kindness, empathy, a good sense of humor, et cetera. I haven't really experienced that kind of dynamic from men towards women.

i don't think i've ever met a women who is 6'4.  i know a few who are over 6' and i always feel like a child next to them.  i have stated before the big difference between what women judge as attractive in men and what men judge as attractive in women. women are attracted by the height, face & hair (all of which are purely genetic) of a man while all a women has to do to become highly sought after is to get in great shape & be feminine.  women also have things like wigs, makeup & high heels which can greatly enhance their appearance. on the other hand, when a man wears a toupe or lifts he is considered as pathetic by most women.  i think if the qualities you mentioned were actually important in attracting women, there would be far fewer single, lonely unattractive men in the world-myself included.

 

[TheRealCallie]

fair enough.  of course i have a tremendous desire to change things but the truth is the things which matter most cannot be changed of improved. i don't enjoy being negative but that's the way the world works, like it or not, and one has to have something to be positive about which is almost always based on having success.  i don't recall ever telling anyone they have no right to complain or that i have it worse than anyone either but am merley relating my own personal experience of being a lonely, short, ugly bald man in a world which operates so strongly on physical apperance.

See, this is where you are wrong.  You CAN change ****.  Of course you can't change your looks unless you are willing to get plastic surgery, but you could do other things to improve your appearance, though I still believe you are not as ugly as you claim to be.  I would love to see a picture of you, even via PM, if you prefer. I really don't understand where you are getting your information about bald being a major turnoff to women because there are A LOT of sexy bald men out there.  It is true that only being partially bald can be a turn off, but you could shave it all off if that's the case.  As for the short part, 5'6 is NOT that short and there are plenty of women that are shorter than that and would be willing to date someone who is 5'6.  Yes, a lot of women like taller men, but to say there are none that would date you because of your height is not true. 
Will it be a little harder for you to find someone?  Yeah, probably, but so what.  If that's what you really want in life, why wouldn't you do everything you can to make that happen? 
Tell me a few positive things about yourself and your life.

i am pretty ripped from a very clean vegan diet & intense weight training. i am also very healthy (have not been to a doctor in around 20 years), make over 6 figures & have zero debt.  my head is already shaved and has been for a long time. i actually have a pretty good life aside from having zero success with women. i feel i have done just about everything already yet have only had rejections.

Okay, I have to ask.  If you haven't been to a doctor in 20 years, how do you know you are healthy?  I mean there are a lot of things you could have and not even know it.  Do you get bloodwork done to know you don't have anything going on?

Aside from that, the rest of it sounds great (other than the pushiness of the vegan stuff. lol)  Now I am even more curious about what you look like.

i get a full blood screen annually at work as part of our wellness program.  a big reason for my great health is due to the diet (been vegan for around 15 years) but the health effects are just a bonus as i went vegan for ethical & moral reasons.  i don't think promoting veganism is any more pushy than trying to stop cruelty to dogs and cats or promoting anti-racsism. it is actually a social justice movement based on non-violence rather than just a mere dietary choice.

Okay, that makes sense then, if you are having bloodwork done.  A vegan diet can be just as bad as a non vegan diet.  I haven't eaten meat for 20 years and have been vegan for the last 6, so I know it takes more than just being vegan to be healthy.  You also have to make sure you are getting all the vitamins you need. 
I think, depending on how it's done, it can be just as bad as promoting religion.  I believe it is a choice, not a movement.  Now, I will give you the mass farms where animals are treated with cruelty and all that, but not everyone does it that way.  I know a lot of people who hunt their own meat and use every part of the animal, I don't see that as wrong.  But, just like it's not my place to tell people what religion they should have, it's not my place to tell them what they should eat.

 

[Aardra]

Just mentioning that he's vegan isn't pushy, unless I'm missing something.

Anyway, I think OP is wedded to his situation. Or perhaps OP's standards are too high. My brother has this problem. He's quite "average" on the conventional attractiveness scale, being 40, overweight, bald, and somewhat shorter than average.

He gets plenty of responses on dating sites. Many of the women are quite pretty. But my brother always shrugs them off because they don't fit his very narrow ideal of an attractive woman. She's too overweight. She's too short (yes really). Her eyes are too far apart. Whatever it is, he finds some reason to nitpick. He has been single for 10 years.

I'm not saying OP should settle; but maybe OP's horizons aren't as broad as they could be.

 

[mgill]

See, this is where you are wrong.  You CAN change ****.  Of course you can't change your looks unless you are willing to get plastic surgery, but you could do other things to improve your appearance, though I still believe you are not as ugly as you claim to be.  I would love to see a picture of you, even via PM, if you prefer. I really don't understand where you are getting your information about bald being a major turnoff to women because there are A LOT of sexy bald men out there.  It is true that only being partially bald can be a turn off, but you could shave it all off if that's the case.  As for the short part, 5'6 is NOT that short and there are plenty of women that are shorter than that and would be willing to date someone who is 5'6.  Yes, a lot of women like taller men, but to say there are none that would date you because of your height is not true. 
Will it be a little harder for you to find someone?  Yeah, probably, but so what.  If that's what you really want in life, why wouldn't you do everything you can to make that happen? 
Tell me a few positive things about yourself and your life.

i am pretty ripped from a very clean vegan diet & intense weight training. i am also very healthy (have not been to a doctor in around 20 years), make over 6 figures & have zero debt.  my head is already shaved and has been for a long time. i actually have a pretty good life aside from having zero success with women. i feel i have done just about everything already yet have only had rejections.

Okay, I have to ask.  If you haven't been to a doctor in 20 years, how do you know you are healthy?  I mean there are a lot of things you could have and not even know it.  Do you get bloodwork done to know you don't have anything going on?

Aside from that, the rest of it sounds great (other than the pushiness of the vegan stuff. lol)  Now I am even more curious about what you look like.

i get a full blood screen annually at work as part of our wellness program.  a big reason for my great health is due to the diet (been vegan for around 15 years) but the health effects are just a bonus as i went vegan for ethical & moral reasons.  i don't think promoting veganism is any more pushy than trying to stop cruelty to dogs and cats or promoting anti-racsism. it is actually a social justice movement based on non-violence rather than just a mere dietary choice.

Okay, that makes sense then, if you are having bloodwork done.  A vegan diet can be just as bad as a non vegan diet.  I haven't eaten meat for 20 years and have been vegan for the last 6, so I know it takes more than just being vegan to be healthy.  You also have to make sure you are getting all the vitamins you need. 
I think, depending on how it's done, it can be just as bad as promoting religion.  I believe it is a choice, not a movement.  Now, I will give you the mass farms where animals are treated with cruelty and all that, but not everyone does it that way.  I know a lot of people who hunt their own meat and use every part of the animal, I don't see that as wrong.  But, just like it's not my place to tell people what religion they should have, it's not my place to tell them what they should eat.

i eat mostly whole foods and am low sugar/low oil.  i agree that eating vegan junk food is not healthy for anyone-except the animals of course. 

you mention that factory farming is wrong but around 99% of animals are raised on factory farms. in addition, many of the horrible cases of abuse come from so called small, family farms.  i have volunteered at a local farmed animal sanctuary for over a decade and have seen the victims first hand.  even if they do have a good life somewhere, they all end up in the same slaughterhouses with their throats cut so their corpse can be sold for profit.

it's not a matter of what they are eating but WHO they are eating. i see any form of violence which is not self defense as wrong.  i know i would not want to be harmed or killed myself just so someone could take what they want from me so i try and not do this to others, regardless of their species. we tell people what to do and what not to do all the time when there is a victim involved.  it's quite ironic & hypocritical that so many people who get so upset when a puppy or kitten is harmed or killed pay for much worse several times a day when they go to a grocery store or resturant. the real question is, is a momentary taste sensation more important that the entire life of a cow, pig, chicken or fish?  i think this short essay sums up the issues very well-especially considering the current political climate: https://our-compass.org/2014/06/13/slavery-its-still-a-thing-christopher-sebastian-mcjetters/

also, aside from the ethical issue of commodifying sentient beings, raising & killing non-human animals for food has the largest negative impact on the environment & eco systems which affects everyone.  in fact, the current COVID pandemic along with many other past one's are directly related to animal agriculture:  https://freefromharm.org/animal-rights/exploiting-animals-killing-us/

 

[Aardra]

Ok now he's preachy.

 

[Finished]

You guys aren't eating me are you? Ha! ha!

 

[Aardra]

You guys aren't eating me are you? Ha! ha!

Crickets are unironically a sustainable and socially-sound source of protein.