Need help coping with being ugly.

It is official I am cursed. I am stuck being the ugly Black girl for the rest of my life. I tried getting a weave, lightening my skin, and changing my wardrobe but nothing works. I got a weave but it just looked fake on me because of my face structure. I got these creams and remedies to lighten my skin but my skin tone has not changed. I know that White girls like to tan to get darker but their goal is to get nice light brown skin nobody wants dark brown skin. Anyway, I also got a different style but pretty clothes on an ugly body is not really pretty at all. I wanted to change my style simply to have more confidence but my body is so ugly that the clothes did not draw attention away. I wanted to lighten my skin because dark skin is considered a masculine trait which is why dark skin is claimed to be only attractive on men. I wanted to get a weave because as you all know being Black my hair is coarse/kinky and a nightmare to look at and maintain. If I had the money I would have also gotten plastic surgery to fix my hideous full/broad facial features that are looked at as unfeminine since they are so huge. I really hate the fact that I was born Black. I would have been happy if I were born any other race (Mixed, White, Asian, Latina or Indian) since they tend to have light colored skin, more feminine/delicate facial features and nicer manageable hair. If I was born a different race or was at least mixed I would have had more of a chance at looking decent.

In this world light skin is prettier than dark skin, delicate facial features are prettier than huge/broad facial features, and straight/curly hair is prettier than coarse/kinky hair – that’s just the way it is. Of course not everybody thinks this way but a vast majority of people do. Black girls being the complete opposite are deemed the least attractive because of their dark skin, coarse/kinky hair, and full/broad facial features. This is why men, even a majority of the Black men, usually are with lighter skinned girls. People always say “It’s hard to find a pretty Black girl…she usually has to be mixed to be pretty”. I am so jealous of those light skinned sleek haired girls. Why couldn’t I have been one of them? Maybe even just for a day so I know what it feels like to be pretty/beautiful. I am cursed being born both ugly and as the least attractive race. Many people who are pretty/beautiful always tell me “to love myself” like it is so simple. Obviously it is easy for them since they are attractive but they have no idea how it feels when you are the two worst possible things – ugly and Black. I am sick of being bullied because how awful I look. I will never love myself being this ugly but at the same time I need to cope with ugly. What are ways coping with this curse? I know people say stuff like “everyone is beautiful in their own way”, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, “it is what’s on the inside that counts” and they are nice comments but don’t help in the real world.

Uh.... If it helps, I like black chicks? They totally give me boners.

Well... Just one boner, I only have one penis.

I dunno, when I was in Jamaica I saw plenty of attractive native women there and Jamaican's are pretty dark skinned. Not all clothes look good on all people, you have to find the right fit for your body type that will look good. Lots of black women with kinky hair just wear wigs and are proud of their wig collection. Some just grow it out and put it into dreads which looks cool on black women.

As an African-American male myself, I will go ahead and say that most light skinned women are attractive. But just know that I saw plenty of dark skinned women that were just gorgeous. White women are pretty much the standard of what is considered beautiful, hence because there are more white people than black people. You are probably over compensating with the weaves and lighten creams. I suggest that you look up styles for natural hair. I approached a woman with hair just like mine one time. There are times where I felt insecure with my skin tone. My skin is pretty neutral to the poit where a farmers tan is noticeable.

I'm sorry you feel this way about yourself, I think a lot of people would disagree with you about how you look. Some of the most beautiful women are darker African Americans. I've seen some I truly felt were drop dead gorgeous. I hope you learn to love yourself and stop picking yourself apart. Beauty is about more than physical features. Some of the most attractive people are people so confident and charming in person that they simply shine from an inner light that people gravitate towards in droves. A magnetic personality is far more important than appearance in the grand scheme of things.

Hey I am NOT picky, don't have many criteria
Legal age
Breathes on her own
Conscious
Was born a woman
and Thinks I'm HOT, and then were good to go !!

I know some truly ugly people and it has nothing to with how they look. It has to do with how they are.

I believe everyone looks their best when they are healthy and fit, regardless of physical characteristics. Posture and demeanor also go a long way. This year I've been working on my physique and feel better about myself. I think this might work for you too.

Enough self loathing and paranoia over self image to challenge even I? Had to reply because I've been (and still pretty much am) there.

Obviously I don't know what you look like, but I think you're putting waaaayyyyy too much emphasis on race/skin tone and hair. I've never heard of anyone finding women with dark skin unattractive but I have heard the opposite (women not liking white men) so I guess it could vary from place to place. Do you live somewhere with a lot of racists or something?

you said you were bullied about your looks, was that something that happened when you were younger or is it still happening?

And as far as I can tell no guys really care how straight your hair is, I'm sure you'd look great with your natural hair.

And if you ever wanna talk to someone about anything you PM me anytime.

I think that black women are very attractive. Light skin is not more attractive than dark skin, delicate facial features are not more attractive than stronger facial features and black hair is beautiful and springy. It is so heartbreaking that you feel so badly about yourself instead of seeing your natural beauty. A lot of what you say, I think, comes from racist remarks and attitudes of stupid and bigoted people which you have picked up on and taken to heart. I hope that you can work through how you are feeling and come to take pride in your appearance.

Sci-Fi said:

Lots of black women with kinky hair just wear wigs and are proud of their wig collection. Some just grow it out and put it into dreads which looks cool on black women.

Click to expand...

He's right you know

ForGrantedWife said:

I'm sorry you feel this way about yourself, I think a lot of people would disagree with you about how you look. Some of the most beautiful women are darker African Americans. I've seen some I truly felt were drop dead gorgeous. I hope you learn to love yourself and stop picking yourself apart. Beauty is about more than physical features. Some of the most attractive people are people so confident and charming in person that they simply shine from an inner light that people gravitate towards in droves. A magnetic personality is far more important than appearance in the grand scheme of things.

Click to expand...

She's right you know!

Blue Bob said:

I know some truly ugly people and it has nothing to with how they look. It has to do with how they are.

I believe everyone looks their best when they are healthy and fit, regardless of physical characteristics. Posture and demeanor also go a long way. This year I've been working on my physique and feel better about myself. I think this might work for you too.

Click to expand...

He's right you know!

Someone out there finds you irresistable. If you really think you're ugly go find the "Let's see the faces" thread and post your picture. I for one promise to be honest (and I don't make promises I have a chance of breaking)

You sound like a nice person that's been caught up in this beauty myth, trying to be like all those women (and men, it happens with men too!) on the covers of magazines. Here's a fact for you: Even the model in the photo doesn't look like the model in the photo! They get photoshopped to hell and back!

DeadSun said:

I've never heard of anyone finding women with dark skin unattractive but I have heard the opposite (women not liking white men) so I guess it could vary from place to place.

Click to expand...

A lot of black men openly say that dark skinned women are unattractive. Even the ones with the same or similar complexion. Those people obviously have not seen a black dark skinned woman from the islands. They are just stunning.

I've always hated the fact that so many people dislike dark skin. Bah. As the saying goes, "The darker the berry the sweeter the juice!" Look at Oluchi Onweagba, Alek Wek, and Ajuma Nasenyana. They're not light skinned, and they're gorgeous.

Anyway, skin lighteners are really more for getting your skin more even. Back when I cared more, I used it to fade my freckles out. It can only do so much. You could get your face peeled if it bothers you that much, but it will eventually go natural again.

About your hair- have you considered getting skinny locks? Then you won't have to use chemicals or buy hair. My daughter is every-racial, and her hair is coarse and kinky. We didn't want to use chemicals on it, so for a long time, we just kept her hair in a mini afro... but then people kept thinking she was a boy! So we grew her hair out and I put her hair in 300 braidlocks. She is always being complimented about how pretty her hair is.

As somebody else said, you have to find clothing that works with your body. You have to consider your body type and coloring when you shop for clothing. Something that looks hideous on one person might look fabulous on you, and vice versa.

Ooh that's a good idea, have an afro and go full on disco style! That would be truly fan-freaking-tastic.

Haters gonna hate anyway, but I'd be proud to have someone on my arm that's going full on with their style

Hey.
I may be stepping over the line with this, but maybe you can do a little survey.
Post a photo of yours. Let men (and lesbians) in here tell you if they find you attractive.
You may look at what they write now as something dishonest a bit, as they want to make you a bit more happy. But if you want real answers, there is no way going around it, then see the real results. People here are not liars from what I have seen.

Other than that, I´ve seen many attractive black females, and many unattractive white females. I think you have issues with your skin tone. But the skin tone is not the issue.

She's only made that one post... I hope she comes back!

dark brown skin is HOT, the darker the better, personally I dislike the brownish tan look, the point is that you've got to work with what you have, so if you have nice dark skin why don't play that up. Spend that money in hair products and facials instead of skin lightening stuff.
I don't know where you are from, maybe they brainwashed you to think that black is ugly, black is quite beautiful, I am always a bit jealous when I see nice dark skin, a really big afro (I understand that is very difficult to maintain, but still, it's beautiful) and the awesome bone structure and muscle that often go together with really dark skin.

Maybe you are not a supermodel, but please don't blame the skin, think about WHY you don't like it, and if the guys you know are basically brainwashed to like only white girls (and racist! maybe because they also hate their own skin), it's their problem

Look that this, some of these girls are really really black black beautiful

Also, at the risk of sounding like an ass, Africa is the origin of the human species. You're the original!

Hello Briana, from the previous posts before this, you can already tell that there are definitely people who don't discriminate or dislike people with darker skin tone. I'm sorry you feel badly about this.. but I do really hope that you can learn to accept and love you the way you are.. I believe that for others to love and accept you properly, you have to start with yourself first. *hugs*

No one is ugly, no one!