Grad School Issues

I've decided that I like my privacy.

Good for you for sticking to your guns & believing in yourself with this Soph!

I hope things work out with the most recent video you've done & it sounds like some of the handling of this has been a little unprofessional, is there some way you can bring it to the attention of someone that can advise & help with it all?

I'm so sorry, Soph. *hug*

I honestly think that it's not the way to help someone improve by telling them all the negative things. They should be encouraging and wanting to see you improve and trying to help you instead. I personally believe in your abilities, Soph, and I'm pretty sure, no, I'm definitely certain that you'd make an amazing counsellor - after all this time talking to you. You don't know how much you've helped me through some of my days, so I can totally vouch for you!

I'm not exactly sure what they are looking for in their assessment for this class you're taking, but do they have like a check list of it or what they are looking out for in order for you to pass the class? Maybe they are focusing on certain aspects of counseling and perhaps you can hone in on those areas? Again, I'm not too sure about how they are assessing you or what areas exactly, but this is what I used to do when I try to pass a class.

With that said, let me know if I can be of any help with this, okay? I think you've worked way too hard to fail this just cos they refuse to see how awesome you are. I got your back, so I'll try my best to help where I can, if I can. *hugs*

I'm just having the worst semester I've had in years. My coping skills for my depression have collapsed. I've been unloading on people randomly and crying for days on end.

I'm completely unbalanced at the moment. I've asked for counseling from my counselor back home. For those that have to deal with me in this state, I'm completely apologetic. I wish I was more stable at the moment, but I'm not.

The mounting stress from this semester and the amount of things that have gone wrong (me being sick repeatedly, the stress of having to deal with a stupid decision on my part, trying to deal with insurance issues, paying the mortgage on my mom's house, having negativity thrown at me whenever I enter my classroom…being told I don't have the proper dispositions for the program after I was already told I had good dispositions, having a classmate literally roll her eyes and throw her hands up at me today in class…lack of sleep, an overdue assignment….the **** just keeps coming), plus the lack of support/encouragement has just broken me down.

I try so hard to be stable. I try so hard not to tell others in real life I feel sad inside. I try so hard, just to keep it together. I feel dissapointed that my coping mechanisms have failed and I'm reduced to this negative piece of **** that can't hold it together anymore. :< This is not what I want.

The last thing I want is to fail out of this program I'm in, and I may fail a course this semester. I am hoping I don't.

Everything feels …so….so…screwed up.

SophiaGrace said:

I'm just having the worst semester I've had in years. My coping skills for my depression have collapsed. I've been unloading on people randomly and crying for days on end.

I'm completely unbalanced at the moment. I've asked for counseling from my counselor back home. For those that have to deal with me in this state, I'm completely apologetic. I wish I was more stable at the moment, but I'm not.

The mounting stress from this semester and the amount of things that have gone wrong (me being sick repeatedly, the stress of having to deal with a stupid decision on my part, trying to deal with insurance issues, paying the mortgage on my mom's house, having negativity thrown at me whenever I enter my classroom…being told I don't have the proper dispositions for the program after I was already told I had good dispositions, having a classmate literally roll her eyes and throw her hands up at me today in class…lack of sleep, an overdue assignment….the **** just keeps coming), plus the lack of support/encouragement has just broken me down.

I try so hard to be stable. I try so hard not to tell others in real life I feel sad inside. I try so hard, just to keep it together. I feel dissapointed that my coping mechanisms have failed and I'm reduced to this negative piece of **** that can't hold it together anymore. :< This is not what I want.

The last thing I want is to fail out of this program I'm in, and I may fail a course this semester. I am hoping I don't.

Everything feels …so….so…screwed up.

Click to expand...

*BIG Hugs*
Sometimes, unloading it is a good way to cope with it. Yes, things are tough at the moment, but I know you can do this. Remember, no matter how it feels now, things WILL get better. Hang in there dear.

Now you said you haven't been getting much sleep? Despite how stressful things are at the moment, a good night's sleep can not only reduce stress, but can also help you think clearly.

I'm sorry all of this is happening to you. I hope the time when things get better comes soon.

At this point I'm thinking I will fail it. I handed in the last assignment for the borderline course…late, and other things were screwed up with it that I had to redo and submit today (it's too late to beat myself up over it, what's done is done…). The reviewer's tone of voice doesn't sound very pleasant through email. If she asks me why things were late and why the submitted material was screwed up, I won't really have a response. I know it was my fault.

I'm dreading the review session that is (hopefully) coming up soon for this assignment. There's a tiny bit of me that's hoping I will pass, but not much.

Maybe I'm just going to get kicked out of the program.

I'm tired…I have no more tears. Gonna go to bed soon and then wake up and continue working on my paper.

---

Mr Seal The Albatros said:

*BIG Hugs*
Sometimes, unloading it is a good way to cope with it. Yes, things are tough at the moment, but I know you can do this. Remember, no matter how it feels now, things WILL get better. Hang in there dear.

Now you said you haven't been getting much sleep? Despite how stressful things are at the moment, a good night's sleep can not only reduce stress, but can also help you think clearly.

I'm sorry all of this is happening to you. I hope the time when things get better comes soon.

Click to expand...

(hugs) You're great.

Be ready for anything, but if worst comes to worst, remember it's not the end of the world. I'm guessing you would feel bad if that happens. By all means, feel free to vent if it helps let it out. When you're feeling a bit better, try to think things through carefully, and try to come up with a plan in case things go south. Make sure you're not feeling sad as you do this though, or making a plan will be difficult.

If you need to vent, well, venting can help let out a rough mood. While it's probably a good idea to post whatever happens on this thread for advice and support, PM me if you feel like you want to vent for a bit. Don't worry, I don't bite.

Awww, you can do it! Hang in there! Never give up! From what I can tell, you're a GREAT person with admiring energy and determination. Yes, you're also human, but your innate diligence is too supremely positive for you to give up!

Look at how many supporters you have!

Warm and encouraging hugs to you! *.* ((((((((((SophiaGrace))))))))))))

*hughughug*

Soph,

A voice of support: I've been back in school for just about four years now - pursuing two degrees from two different institutions.

My life hasn't existed since I don't know when. I forget to eat or even to drink water. I sleep 3 to 4 hours per night, if lucky. My hobbies and passions have been entirely abandoned.

This last semester was also my worst. I bordered on nervous breakdown territory and still am not far off from it. A professor accused me of plagiarism because of the "uncustomarily high level of writing" in a research paper I submitted. I aggressively pursued that and won, the son-of-a-bitch...

Allow yourself to feel like you are falling apart without thinking that feeling that way makes you inferior or weak. It doesn't. It merely makes you human. You can fall to pieces and still be an amazing, worthwhile person. The two are not linked.

You can do it, one day, one hour at a time...

SophiaGrace said:

I'm just having the worst semester I've had in years. My coping skills for my depression have collapsed. I've been unloading on people randomly and crying for days on end.

I'm completely unbalanced at the moment. I've asked for counseling from my counselor back home. For those that have to deal with me in this state, I'm completely apologetic. I wish I was more stable at the moment, but I'm not.

The mounting stress from this semester and the amount of things that have gone wrong (me being sick repeatedly, the stress of having to deal with a stupid decision on my part, trying to deal with insurance issues, paying the mortgage on my mom's house, having negativity thrown at me whenever I enter my classroom…being told I don't have the proper dispositions for the program after I was already told I had good dispositions, having a classmate literally roll her eyes and throw her hands up at me today in class…lack of sleep, an overdue assignment….the **** just keeps coming), plus the lack of support/encouragement has just broken me down.

I try so hard to be stable. I try so hard not to tell others in real life I feel sad inside. I try so hard, just to keep it together. I feel dissapointed that my coping mechanisms have failed and I'm reduced to this negative piece of **** that can't hold it together anymore. :< This is not what I want.

The last thing I want is to fail out of this program I'm in, and I may fail a course this semester. I am hoping I don't.

Everything feels …so….so…screwed up.

Click to expand...

I'm going to write an update. (sorry, don't have time to respond to everyone just yet. My days are blurring.)

Yesterday, I went to my academic advisor and just cried in her office, and told her how I'd been feeling and what was going on. I felt safe enough to do that with her. Afterwards, I felt like maybe I made some mistake. I always get this fear response after I release tears in front of a person. I hope I didn't make the wrong decision. She seemed to offer me some encouragement and support, suggesting ways where I may improve. She also seemed to give me a concerned-look, which I wasn't quite sure what it meant. I hope it doesn't backfire on me.

If it does, well, I'll just have to suffer the consequences of a sit-down-and-talk-it-out.

Apparently, I won't get kicked out of the program if I fail this course. I'll just have to repeat it. Unfortunately my Reviewer has gone MIA. She told me that we may be able to meet yesterday, but then never got back to me, after I checked up on her twice. I've given her my availability next week. I hope she isn't trying to screw me out of my last counseling review session, which…honestly I feel was my best counseling tape yet. She sounds as if she doesn't like me now due to her tone in her emails, but, I hope she's professional enough to be fair with me.

Last night I did a 10 page term paper that was to be due at 9pm tonight. It got handed in at 4am this morning after several rounds of caffeine. I was very happy about that.

Then, I got an email at 3am from the professor whose assignment I've been avoiding because it intimidated me for some reason. I was frank with her and told her that I'd been struggling with it, and she immediately became flexible with me, much to my relief. So I told her my update on what I've been doing with the assignment, and I was honest about it. I'm currently taking a lunch break right now before going back and tackling it again. It still scares me but I feel motivated to just get it out of the way.

After that…2 more assignments down.

I have goals now, instead of feeling so much despair. Finishing some assignments has given me hope. But, I'm strongly considering perhaps switching to another program at another school, because I feel like I've just…not been treated welll this semester by both my classmates and this professor/reviewer for my counseling course. Or, just switching to a degree in writing, because, based on the feedback from my classmates and professors, I'm socially awkward (not in a mean way), and "I should have had good social skills before I went into the program."

I guess I just expect more support and encouragement instead of all the negative feedback I've been getting. If I fail something, I need encouragement that I can do it, instead of being torn down further. I haven't been getting this re: my counseling skills.

Soph - we all have limitations. Sometimes, others can see this when we can't. Often people choose the wrong major, or don't choose the one that suits them best.
If you think you've chosen the right major, then stick with it. If you think you'd do well at something else, don't be afraid to switch.
If you choose to keep doing what you're doing now, make use of any and all help that is available to you.
No matter you choose to do, just make sure it's something that you WANT to do, but also something you can excel at. Good luck - I'm sure all the work is very overwhelming at the moment.

Well, at least it's a step up from before. Goals are a good way to keep you focused, and when you find the one that gives you a boost of confidence, well, there's another step up. On a side note, only 2 assignments left! YAYS!

Now, here's a word of advice. I know it sounds silly, but don't forget to reward yourself when they're done. Yes, you may feel worried about how it goes, but look back for a second and remember no matter how it will turn out, you certainly put a lot of effort into this.

I don't have much in the way of advice for switching degrees, or even if you should but I know you can do this. Hang in there Soph.

EDIT: Actually, Eve has some good advice.

Well, I handed in my video essay.

*exhausted*

*APPLAUDS*

*Joins applause*

You know what this means? I can actually sleep tonight.

SophiaGrace said:

You know what this means? I can actually sleep tonight.

Click to expand...

And I'm glad that you actually are doing that right now, without having to worry about waking up and continuing the work with the lack of sleep.

ladyforsaken said:

SophiaGrace said:

You know what this means? I can actually sleep tonight.

Click to expand...

And I'm glad that you actually are doing that right now, without having to worry about waking up and continuing the work with the lack of sleep.

Click to expand...

Unfortunately this is what I am doing now. Lack of sleep homeworking.

However, I will say I just handed in my Treatment Plan part of the takehome exam.

And I"m studying now for the multiple choice section which is in 4 hours.

Please pray for me that I do well on the multiple choice section. Alternatively, you may wish me well.

A fire has been lit under my butt and I'm kicking down assignments one by one it seems.

Edit: Ingested too much coffee. Must be careful today with myself. Drinking water.

SophiaGrace said:

ladyforsaken said:

SophiaGrace said:

You know what this means? I can actually sleep tonight.

Click to expand...

And I'm glad that you actually are doing that right now, without having to worry about waking up and continuing the work with the lack of sleep.

Click to expand...

Unfortunately this is what I am doing now. Lack of sleep homeworking.

However, I will say I just handed in my Treatment Plan part of the takehome exam.

And I"m studying now for the multiple choice section which is in 4 hours.

Please pray for me that I do well on the multiple choice section. Alternatively, you may wish me well.

A fire has been lit under my butt and I'm kicking down assignments one by one it seems.

Edit: Ingested too much coffee. Must be careful today with myself. Drinking water.

Click to expand...

You can do it Soph! So close now!