38 male virgin - Pros and Cons of paying for sex

[Unsigned]

I wasn't referring to people who live in small towns but people with very simple mindsets caused by a lack of intelligence, emotional ripeness or a combination of both. Such people can be found everywhere. An example for the first case would be people who have the bright idea to put their dog in the washer to clean it or in the microwave to dry it. An example for the second case would be people who get annoyed by the barking of their dog, and instead of calming it down they kill it without any empathy and remorse (Shutting it off like an object - sociopaths and psychopaths are known for such behavior).

I see.
Yeah those things are horrible.
Just abandoning a dog is pretty horrible too. Not sure how people can do that.

But I think those people are simply sadistic rather than "unintelligent'.
I disagree that lack of intelligence leads to being evil.
I've known plenty of people who weren't the "brightest bulb", yet they were kind and considerate.

I believe sociopaths & psychos usually have average to somewhat above average intelligence. Like Ted Bundy.

 

[user 191197]

I disagree that lack of intelligence leads to being evil.
I've known plenty of people who weren't the "brightest bulb", yet they were kind and considerate.

I'm not talking about "not the brightest bulb" (which is rather average) but about severe lack of intelligence. Think like Monalisa Perez and Pedro Ruiz. An ordinary "not the brightest bulb" might not be able to calculate the physics behind such a stunt but would still not have done it thanks to a "bad feeling" (Intuitive intelligence) or at least tested the stunt first without a person behind the book.

 

[user 191197]

I believe sociopaths & psychos usually have average to somewhat above average intelligence. Like Ted Bundy.

Don't forget emotional intelligence which sociopaths and psychopaths have a severe lack of. Empathy is part of it. In this sense, sociopaths and psychopaths count as severely disabled.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Why do you say that?
People who live simple lives (small town, farms, dairies, etc..) are usually very happy & friendly, IMO...

As far as the sex robots...pass...no thanks...

The only farm that is still simple is an Amish farm.
Nothing about a farmer's life is simple. Whether it's their day to day activities or their machines.

Also, they typically are friendly, yes....but appearances can be very deceiving on the happy part.

 

[user 191197]

I would rather get a pet from an animal shelter to cuddle with and care for. Helps against loneliness and causes feel-good hormones to be released. It's a win-win situation. Of course does a pet not replace a human being but it's enough to conserve your sanity (in case you might find a partner some day).

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

when the sex robots become available, that will be a game changer.

Glad I'm not that desperate. Could care less.

 

[Lonely virgin]

It’s illegal and you can get STDs.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

It’s illegal and you can get STDs.

Some just don't care about that, they're desperate. I'm glad I'm not that bad. I'd never pay for no ****.

 

[TheSkaFish]

@Lonely virgin

That's 100% correct. Not worth the risk or humiliation.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

^ That's 100% correct. Not worth the risk or shame.

I don't get what's funny about that, though?

I find it funny that people will go to extreme and desperate measures. I'd never do something of that nature and it's silly to me for those who stoop to that level of desperation for sex and companionship.

 

[TheSkaFish]

It's funny, because some go to extreme and desperate measures. I'd never do something of that nature and it's silly to me for those who stoop to that level of desperation over sex and companionship.

I don't find it funny, I find it tragic.
It causes a lot of unnecessary physical and mental/emotional misery.

I very much want romantic/intimate companionship but I hate with a passion anything that would confirm that I am in fact inferior.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I don't find it funny, I find it tragic.
It causes a lot of unnecessary physical and mental/emotional misery.

Not me. I find it absolutely desperate. Why does someone need to stoop down to that level just for that? It's out there in the world for free. Also, even if someone couldn't get that for free, why not try to look within oneself for self-validation and happiness. Never wise to depend on another for happiness. But, to each their own. Just how I feel about it. It's a topic that's regularly discussed amongst other people I know.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I don't find it funny, I find it tragic.
It causes a lot of unnecessary physical and mental/emotional misery.

I very much want romantic/intimate companionship but I hate with a passion anything that would confirm that I am in fact inferior.

Stop looking at yourself as inferior. Learn some confidence and look at yourself in a different perspective. The fact that you already look at yourself that way, is what's going to cause your own misery in finding someone.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Stop looking at yourself as inferior. Learn some confidence and look at yourself in a different perspective. The fact that you already look at yourself that way, is what's going to cause your own misery in finding someone.

I see myself that way because I don't have muscles, money, been bad at everything I tried, and lack the instincts for knowing how to think, talk, do things, and act in the "right"/"cool" way.

It was more damaging to me than I realized, to be in an environment where lots of people were born on at least second base (if not third), while I was on the bench.

I felt like I held no cards, other than a mildly boosted memory.

I'd like to stop seeing myself this way. I'd like to get out of BEING that way.
And I know what I'd need in order to do just that - learn some confidence and see myself differently.

However, these things aren't easy to get (if they're possible at all, or if you have to be born with it).

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I'd like to.
And I know what I'd need in order to do just that - learn some confidence and see myself differently.

However, these things aren't easy to get (if they're possible at all, or if you have to be born with it).

Trust me, I know all about low self-esteem and such. But, I do have confidence in some areas, and working on the rest. Little by little. I never advise anyone to get into a relationship, unless they see themselves in a positive way and are healed from past trauma. It'll only bring more trauma and drama to a new relationship. Granted, we can't fix everything, but we have to have some areas where we value ourselves, before anyone else can. But, looking to pay for sexual relations is inferior to me. You're stooping below your level to get it. Look at yourself as you're better than that. I know I'm above & beyond paying for companionship and sex, yet I know I could if I really wanted to. But, I don't want or need to. I've had people ask me in the past if they could pay for companionship, and other things, but I rejected their proposals.

 

[Papagenox]

the film The Sessions (2012) depicts an extreme but compelling situation in favor of the moral and social value of this kind of service

 

[TheSkaFish]

Trust me, I know all about low self-esteem and such. But, I do have confidence in some areas, and working on the rest. Little by little. I never advise anyone to get into a relationship, unless they see themselves in a positive way and are healed from past trauma. It'll only bring more trauma and drama to a new relationship. Granted, we can't fix everything, but we have to have some areas where we value ourselves, before anyone else can. But, looking to pay for sexual relations is inferior to me. You're stooping below your level to get it. Look at yourself as you're better than that. I know I'm above & beyond paying for companionship and sex, yet I know I could if I really wanted to. But, I don't want or need to. I've had people ask me in the past if they could pay for companionship, and other things, but I rejected their proposals.

That's the thing, I'm not sure if I can be fixed -
or if I'm too old/starting too late,
or just wasn't born with the talent and it doesn't matter when I started, I wasn't going to be able to do it at any time regardless.

But yeah. Just to be clear, this isn't my thread, by the way.
I wasn't considering paying for it.
I have germophobic tendencies to begin with, and also I wouldn't be caught dead paying for sex.
It would be so humiliating to me to have to pay for what others get for free just for existing, because I'm really that inferior.
I'd feel like I really was accepting the insulting way others treated me, like I was inferior for not having anything going for me. I feel like it would be taking it. "Knowing my place".
I'd hate myself if I did that.
I'll be damned if I let the way I was treated as a kid become my life story, become who I am. No way.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

That's the thing, I'm not sure if I can be fixed -
or if I'm too old/starting too late,
or just wasn't born with the talent and it doesn't matter when I started, I wasn't going to be able to do it at any time regardless.

But yeah. Just to be clear, this isn't my thread, by the way.
I wasn't considering paying for it.
I have germophobic tendencies to begin with, and also I wouldn't be caught dead paying for sex.
It would be so humiliating to me to have to pay for what others get for free just for existing, because I'm really that inferior.
I'd feel like I really was accepting the insulting way others treated me, like I was inferior for not having anything going for me. I feel like it would be taking it. "Knowing my place".
I'd hate myself if I did that.
I'll be damned if I let the way I was treated as a kid become my life story, become who I am. No way.

We're all able to change ourselves, even if we're born with things we're not happy with. There are still parts of ourselves we're able to fix/change if we want.

I'm aware it's not your thread, but the original author of the thread hasn't been active since 2024, so I responded to something on it a while back, and you had commented on some of my posts, so I'm just responding to them. I too, am germaphobic. Don't let anyone insult or talk down to you. Learn boundaries and learn to stand up for yourself.

 

[Unsigned]

Why does someone need to stoop down to that level just for that?

Honestly I've never felt that I was "stooping down".
I absolutely do not recommend young guys to take the path I took, but I never once felt I was lowering myself.

It's out there in the world for free.

Yes, but what might be available "out there for free" may not be appealing to a guy.
Physicality is important.
Some people can looks past the outside to see "inner beauty", but a lot of us need the outside to be attractive as well.

I see myself that way because I don't have muscles, money, been bad at everything I tried, and lack the instincts for knowing how to think, talk, do things, and act in the "right"/"cool" way.

I have always had money, always have been in shape (not a bodybuilder, but a decent physique) worked with Wall St firms for nearly 40 years, and I still
have somewhat of an inferiority complex. I also sometimes have a superiority complex. I think everyone kind of does. We're all messed up.
But I have never thought that seeing escorts makes me inferior, or even reaffirms it.

Anyways, I gave my pros and cons on the first page.
And my recommendations to the OP.
Just figured I would pipe up to address the above points.
Have a good week everyone.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Honestly I've never felt that I was "stooping down".
I absolutely do not recommend young guys to take the path I took, but I never once felt I was lowering myself.


Yes, but what might be available "out there for free" may not be appealing to a guy.
Physicality is important.
Some people can looks past the outside to see "inner beauty", but a lot of us need the outside to be attractive as well.


I have always had money, always have been in shape (not a bodybuilder, but a decent physique) worked with Wall St firms for nearly 40 years, and I still
have somewhat of an inferiority complex. I also sometimes have a superiority complex. I think everyone kind of does. We're all messed up.
But I have never thought that seeing escorts makes me inferior, or even reaffirms it.

Anyways, I gave my pros and cons on the first page.
And my recommendations to the OP.
Just figured I would pipe up to address the above points.
Have a good week everyone.

I need the whole package deal with a man. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. If someone has all that, sexually will be great too. But, I'm very attracted to the first 3 the most. I still see it as stooping low. I'd never do such a thing. There are millions of fish in the sea. I'm definitely not paying for one! That's my opinion though.