A notice to yall women (I'm done hating I swear)

[Anten]

AJR I think you would get more support if you were a woman and some man did this to you.

 

[floffyschneeman]

AJR I think you would get more support if you were a woman and some man did this to you.

It's not about women being more cruel or equally cruel compared to men. As people, we all have the ability to love another person or to hurt them as we have the ability to also hurt ourselves

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As for AJR, there is no greater way to get to know someone on a deeper and more intimate level than through friendship. In a bar or in a dating site/place, you can show off yourself as someone appealing to the opposite sex, but when you sit down and talk and just be yourselves is how you can get to know one another in a more natural way. Being too eager to find a woman to marry or court is almost always a negative thing, because you have to ask yourself each time you meet someone, Do I really love this person that I want to be with her or I love the idea of having someone to love? A lot of people always neglect that. I suggest you start with places where you can easily make friends.

Also, in order to find someone to love and who would love you in return, in my opinion, the most effective way to get that is learn how to be comfortable with being with yourself and enjoy your own company. I have said this before and I really believe this with all my heart, don't find someone to complete you, complete yourself first so you would be able to love the right person wholly and completely.

good luck

 

[Anten]

That wasn't really the point of the comment. It was that it was a man who got burned so no one treats it the same as if a woman was burned.

 

[SophiaGrace]

That wasn't really the point of the comment. It was that it was a man who got burned so no one treats it the same as if a woman was burned.

From what he said i thought it was a positive experience for him?

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Sadly many of the replies here missed my point. Yes I had sex but as I said it didn't change anything. If I allowed it, and I did for a little while, she would renforce my distrust in women. She told me she loved me and I believed it. Sometimes our own desires blind us to the truth. Looking back on it I knew that she was a liar and a fake but I guess I really was that desperate and ignored what my intuition told me.

Okay so the experience wasn't positive. (and i'm sorry for thinking you were the perpetrator, after you set me straight i really didn't know what to say. )

I seem to remember another thread where you were at the end of your rope, so you being desperate, isn't very surprising to me.

Do you feel abandoned or "had"? It's kind of hard to get an emotional read on you.

I don't think you even trust life itself, let alone women.

The title of the thread is this "I am done hating" <= or at least that was part of your title, which implies to me that the experience wasn't so negative, as to be traumatizing and, well, you are now willing to be more emotionally open and trusting?

So i guess you don't feel abandoned or "had" if this is the case.

 

[AJR]

Well I dont trust many folks, this is apparent from my other threads that I have been through a thing or two and in those travels the ones you trust are the ones that hurt you the most. Over this past year I have tried really hard not to live my life that way. When I was in school I had many friends and was quite well recieved by my peers but after that I just got lost in the wash of life. While the experience with this girl(and I say girl because anyone who ignores you as a way to tell you they are done with you is not an adult imo) was not possitive on the surface I try to find possitive things to consider. Sometimes what we want is not what we need and I didnt realize it then but she gave me what I needed. I needed a reminder not to put myself so far out that I need a hand to get back. Reaching out and finding friends is something I know how to do and can do moderately well. Im not interested any longer in the romantaized version of love but I am interested in finding a woman to spend my life with. I am 27 and I want children and a family. I have no intention of settleing on the first woman I see either lol. I guess I just decided Ill open myself to the rejection of dating in order to get what I want.

I just wanted to say in refrence to Ant's comment about gender discrimmination that I personally think it is worse for such things to happen to women than men. I have always thought, when it comes to relationships, that I have a more femine view of how things should go. I was vunerable to a women telling me she loved me just like many women are made vunerable to a man saying the same thing.

Alright so this post is a bit all over the place and long lol. The point is this girl was a wake up call for me, so yes it was possitive, though only after wading through the murky waters of self reflection. I still love women almost each and every one of them is a possible Mrs. Rannow so what is not to love? [/align]