A Question for the Guys...

[VanillaCreme]

I can say one good thing, that in all committed relationships, I never cheated. Only when it was "officially" over did I start looking again. But I have been cheated on, which was a mystery since most of the women in my "heyday" said that they could not keep up with me(in the way that you think, yes). I could only come to the conclusion that it was like shoplifting when you have the money.........just for the thrill of knowing you got away with it.
Once, in 1990 I met a married woman. She was separated and living with a girlfreind. To make a long story short, I got involved with her, she divorced her husband then we got married. My life was buried by my mistake to get involved with her. Disaster followed this woman like a magnet. Her insanities and problems led to me dropping out of nursing school when I was very close to finishing. Acedemically I was fine, she just...made sure I could not afford tuition. She cheated too. In 1994 I finally got a hold of a phone conversation between her and a male security guard, discussing his "anatomy" and arranging to get together. That's when I let her go for good. She made a horrible comment to me once that in the future, my "next one" would be worse than her and do more damage than she did.
She was right. From 1994 to 1998 I had a few relationships, but the one in 1998 was far worse and led to 10 years of hell. Another story for another time(the one from 1998 to 2008), but the one I divorced in '94 was right. If I could go back to 1990 and avoid meeting her, I would not be living in a vacuum with not one phone number I can call. Single men should stay away from married women even if they are separated. The resulting baggage will drag you down permanently.

Why put up with it? Why deal with it? I don't understand for the life of me why people allow themselves to be dragged in the mud. That was horrible she made the effort to make sure you couldn't afford your Nursing school. Just horrible. Mean, vicious person she was. I'd never make that much of an effort to tear someone down. I'd rather leave someone alone than to make such an effort.

She knew your future relationship would be bad, because somewhere in your mind - in the back of your mind, but still there... what she had done to you would be there. And it's almost like a game she played with you. It's almost like she set you up for failure, and then to cheat on you... She really didn't care. Why put up with a person like that?

 

[WHY]

Girls are attracted to the bad guys because it's a nurturing feeling they have. Women have this need to take care of someone...to help them. They feel that if they show love and caring to a guy who just does so much awful that he will change. It's just the way women are. They need to be needed by someone with problems and they feel they can make everything better for a guy. That's why if a guy is too perfect we're not attracted because what can we possibly offer this guy??

A guy just wants to have sex whether it's a good girl or not. The easier the better. They pay a little more attention when choosing a wife but afterwards they think the wife should just give him what he wants and when she doesn't ... he looks elsewhere. Women can't just have sex...they need to belong and to be wanted. It's like this feeling where the guy needs to show you that you are needed and that you mean the world to him. A woman like that will give anything to a guy like that (I'm not saying a guy who acts like a 15 year old kid who needs a mommy though, he still needs to be a man). But to many man once they conquer the woman once...they don't feel the need to do it all the time so they just find an easy fix.

That's how I explain it. Correct me if I'm wrong anyone!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Just incase i was miss understood or dance around the issues...

I cheated on my ex-wife when i was married. It's something I'm not proud of.
It definitely tainted our relationship...I nevered wanted to lie to my wife.
I always thought I could talk to her about anything...but after that..i felt weird and guilty.
we were young..My ex-wf was beautiful and was the woman of my dreams.

I wanted her..I needed her, but we were always fighting about something.
I felt she was using sex as a weapon or with holding her love from me...
In someway..I felt she was trying to control me or change me.
She wasn't like that when we were going out...After we got married..she changed, changed.
Of couse i like sex...but I also wanted her to hold me, love me and be with me.
Talk to me..share her life with me. I felt she was withdrawn from me.
We didn't have sex everyday...yes ture sometimes I would get fustrated if she didn't want to
have sex with me...but I never forced her. i can go a couple if weeks withou sex...it was more than
sex that i wanted from her...I wanted she to love me too.
For the most part..i just wanted us to stop fighting and love each other.
No matter what I did, say or do for her...she was unhappy.
I had to go to work and couldn't be there for her 24/7 ...

After our second seperation...after i asked her to come home...i waited 60 days.
She freaken ignored me, I beg her to come home. She treated me like ****...
I ask her specifically if she wanted to end..she hung up on me...I took it as a yes.

As i say...she didn't **** it up right enough...I went out with another woman.
Eventaully I moved in with her and her roomate and had sex with both of them...
Fucken insane ....the entire time i was thinking about my wife...The 2 women
**** my brains out thinking they could cure me or fixed my broken heart.
I had no responsiblities...The 2 women did everthing for me ...I didn't even have to
pay rent or any bills...They ****** me, fed me, clean for me...anything and everything.
All I had to do was go to work and party my *** off....

It kind of ****** my up in the head or heart...
I love my ex-wf every, every much.
I actaully move out from the 2 women after living with them for 3-4 months
One of girls even came after me...
I remember that day very will...She came over wanting to have sex with me..
I refused her...she cried....then she left...I felt like **** seeing her cried.
She got attached to me or started falling in love with me...
My wife knocked on the door 5 mins later...probably saw the other women in passing
or in the parking lot....Out of the fucken blues my wife wanted to get back with me...wtf ???
No phone calls..no nothing...just out of the fucken blues she knocked on my door.

well after we got back togther again...and ex-wife went into her fantacy world again...
And off I went living with another woman...A nurse as matter fact.
She took me in like a lost puppy to try to heal me back to life...( i didn't really know wtf ??)
I was only 21 or 22...It was weird . She loved me and cared about me and did everything for me.
She spent time with me everyday..she held me as i cired my heart out.
She acted like what I though my wife would be like...It scared the **** out of me.
It was too good to be true..it was too good to be true...
I remember getting up on midnight one night...I packed all of my belongings and drove
1600 miles away fucken away . I watched her cried her heart out...asking why ? why ? why ?
i was so thorn up about my wife still. I wanted my wife not another woman..
Why couldn't my wife be like that...??? wtf ???
And i was also afraid she would turn on me just like my wife...
My wife was the most loving nicest person I ever met when i went out with her. That's why I married her.

I knew my ex-wf cheated on me too....that's her story.
Some dude knock on our door @ 2 am one night...Errrr ???.lol
She actaully never came right out and said it...but she told she was sorry if she hurted me in anyway and
half of the trouble we were having was also her fualt as much as mine.
She also told me she will always love me no matter what happens....it ment a lot to me..I love her very much.
I was on a run and on a drinking and druging benge. A month after that i got clean and sober.
I still love my ex-wf today..I'm not in love with her..and moved on with my life.
I have no ill feelings for her. Inspite of it all at the end she and I love one another...maybe not as lovers but
as humans. We both had to make peace within ourselve and one another.

i never expected this to happen in recovery...
mmmm...I did bacailly the sametime with my ex-gf...
I fucken told her to stop drinking, using and gambling...she didn't give a rats ***.
She was having a god damn relationship or an affair with the booze,drugs and slot machine as far as I was consern.
I didn't hear from her for almost 3 months...She didn't **** it up enough...
If you wanna **** things up....do it right...really, really **** it up.
As soon as she found out I was seeing other women....here she fucken comes.
No fucken phone calls ..no nothing. I had one on the phone. Then one showed up, I let her in.
Then my ex-gf knocks on my damn door 10 mins later.
wtf ???? i couldn't even planed it like that...lmao

The women i get involved with are phyco....
They don't love me or care when I'm with them...but fucken no other women can have me either.

No more fucken headgames...
[youtube]wfgGUlBryeM[/youtube]

 

[TheLonelySkeptic]

Girls are attracted to the bad guys because it's a nurturing feeling they have. Women have this need to take care of someone...to help them. They feel that if they show love and caring to a guy who just does so much awful that he will change. It's just the way women are. They need to be needed by someone with problems and they feel they can make everything better for a guy. That's why if a guy is too perfect we're not attracted because what can we possibly offer this guy??

A guy just wants to have sex whether it's a good girl or not. The easier the better. They pay a little more attention when choosing a wife but afterwards they think the wife should just give him what he wants and when she doesn't ... he looks elsewhere. Women can't just have sex...they need to belong and to be wanted. It's like this feeling where the guy needs to show you that you are needed and that you mean the world to him. A woman like that will give anything to a guy like that (I'm not saying a guy who acts like a 15 year old kid who needs a mommy though, he still needs to be a man). But to many man once they conquer the woman once...they don't feel the need to do it all the time so they just find an easy fix.

That's how I explain it. Correct me if I'm wrong anyone!

You're wrong.

 

[kelthuzad]

I was reading Liapos' thread about a question to us ladies on why women cheat.... And another question arose in me... Something I've always had in the back of my mind...

Why do men pick cheating whores?

No, not the woman that would never do that to you... Not the woman who would treat you with respect...

Men pick the girls that are just plain no good. I don't get it. And then, that gives the rest of us decent women a bad name.

Hi

that's a good question. i dont know about the cheating, but i seem to be having a pattern of picking out girls who are always somehow messed up (cold and emotionless, flakey, just plain evil)

granted, ive never had any success in these matters but somehow i always land on the ones who are messed up...

i have no idea why this happens, perhaps you could suggest a way for me to avoid this and learn how to pick better

 

[Caesium]

She's a WITCH! She CURSED you! Women are NOT to be trusted - that woman should be BURNED at the stake!

 

[Bluey]

A Question I really should not be asking on a public forum but am getting a little drunken here.

If there was a girl and she had the harpies and she was nice and good looking and you had not had any for like to many years, **** it I well just say how many years. 16 basted ******* wanking bitching self hating mother ******* years. Any way if she offered and if you stood a chance to get with not a half bad looking girl and she had the harpies, would you risk it?

Plus I can not trust her to stay faithful. But just one night to feel loved and to have a good looking girl next to me. God that would mean so much right now as I type this with my eyes filled with teas at the ******* basted age of 34 years old how ******* sad is this ****. God I wish I had the balls the end this crap.

 

[Caesium]

A Question I really should not be asking on a public forum but am getting a little drunken here.

If there was a girl and she had the harpies and she was nice and good looking and you had not had any for like to many years, **** it I well just say how many years. 16 basted ******* wanking bitching self hating mother ******* years. Any way if she offered and if you stood a chance to get with not a half bad looking girl and she had the harpies, would you risk it?

Plus I can not trust her to stay faithful. But just one night to feel loved and to have a good looking girl next to me. God that would mean so much right now as I type this with my eyes filled with teas at the ******* basted age of 34 years old how ******* sad is this ****. God I wish I had the balls the end this crap.

I'm sorry Bluey, sounds like you're going through a bit of a rough time right now. I just want you to know that everyone here at ALL likes ya, and when you feel under the strain of societal pressures, or feel as though you have no friends in the world, no allies, just think about ALL.com, and all the people here that like ya. You sound like a cool guy, and I'd hang out with you in real life for sure if I lived in the same town, as would many others here at ALL.com. Don't let the system get you down, keep your chin up Bluey.

Listen to music or watch some movies to take your mind off things, that's what I do

 

[Bluey]

A Question I really should not be asking on a public forum but am getting a little drunken here.

If there was a girl and she had the harpies and she was nice and good looking and you had not had any for like to many years, **** it I well just say how many years. 16 basted ******* wanking bitching self hating mother ******* years. Any way if she offered and if you stood a chance to get with not a half bad looking girl and she had the harpies, would you risk it?

Plus I can not trust her to stay faithful. But just one night to feel loved and to have a good looking girl next to me. God that would mean so much right now as I type this with my eyes filled with teas at the ******* basted age of 34 years old how ******* sad is this ****. God I wish I had the balls the end this crap.

I'm sorry Bluey, sounds like you're going through a bit of a rough time right now. I just want you to know that everyone here at ALL likes ya, and when you feel under the strain of societal pressures, or feel as though you have no friends in the world, no allies, just think about ALL.com, and all the people here that like ya. You sound like a cool guy, and I'd hang out with you in real life for sure if I lived in the same town, as would many others here at ALL.com. Don't let the system get you down, keep your chin up Bluey.

Listen to music or watch some movies to take your mind off things, that's what I do

Thanks mate, There is one or two ppl here that have got it has bad has me and have spent has much time alone has me. That dose help a little, And ppl like you, You help with the kindness you have in your hart I have got tears rolling down my face right now. But all be ok, I always am. Just need zak to slap me out of it I Guss lol

 

[Papabear]

I was reading Liapos' thread about a question to us ladies on why women cheat.... And another question arose in me... Something I've always had in the back of my mind...

Why do men pick cheating whores?

No, not the woman that would never do that to you... Not the woman who would treat you with respect...

Men pick the girls that are just plain no good. I don't get it. And then, that gives the rest of us decent women a bad name.

I'm gonna ask you a question that should pretty much sum up the problem...

WHERE ARE THESE DECENT WOMEN?

Seriously... I can't seem to meet any, anywhere. I mean... I don't even find them. I would estimate that about 95% of women I have met are trash.

So, we get stuck picking up cheating whores. If you don't like the bad name they give you then you should go around and beat it out of them.

 

[Nyktimos]

Well, since my dad cheated on my mum when I was a wee kid, I spent most of my life trying to figure out why people do what they do, so desperate was I not to be cheated on.

For what it's worth, it's not always easy to tell the interesting, free spirited but faithful girls from the rather dull ones who are liable to give in to temptation. Or the interesting, free spirited unfaithful ones from the dull ones who can be faithful.

I couldn't commit to the love of my life because, though she was wonderful, I couldn't believe she could resist temptation. But I don't think for a second she would willingly look to be unfaithful to anyone, but being of low self-esteem and a bit of a moody fantasist, I think she would have given in to temptation one day. Now I'm stuck with a dull as ****, but very faithful woman, who sucks the life out of me, while after eight years I still feel incomplete because the woman I love (who now has a family of her own and I wish them the greatest happiness) is not a part of my life.

Frankly, I wish I'd taken the girl I couldn't trust but who completed me, and just accepted that we all make mistakes from time to time.

 

[Rusty]

What makes someone, man or woman, throw away something that we've already got goin' good for us and search for something "more". I can't seem to wrap my mind around it's complexity enough to understand the multitudes of possible reasons why. I can understand that one shouldn't keep in their anger, regrets, and disappointments inside of em forever, because it'll eat ya up inside. Surely no one wants to live an unfulfilling life as an embittered soul anchored to a rock of contempt.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

What makes someone, man or woman, throw away something that we've already got goin' good for us and search for something "more". I can't seem to wrap my mind around it's complexity enough to understand the multitudes of possible reasons why. I can understand that one shouldn't keep in their anger, regrets, and disappointments inside of em forever, because it'll eat ya up inside. Surely no one wants to live an unfulfilling life as an embittered soul anchored to a rock of contempt.

LOVE IS NOT A PRISON. That's why...it's simple.
wheather it's the love of god or a woman.

Maloncaly = something about impending doom and living in fear. I can't anchor myself around that **** either.

If LOVE withhold LOVE....that condition is more than i can bare.
Love stravation sucks ***.... I'll **** your sister and hold her *** tight too, if I'm hungry for love. I need that fullfillment.
We all NEED to be love, held and cherish. It's not that complicated.
It's not ALL about me, I know...but some of it is. Don't make promises your body, mind and heart can't keep.
And definitely don't use sex or lack of sex as a weapon. It's when love becomes a battle ground...that is when I want out or more.
Perhapse I might stay and torture myself becuase of the children. I love the children.
Perhapse it might be best that it ends..maybe the children seeing war and torture at home is not such a good idea. They might mistaken that
for love. Children are visual learners.

 

[Rusty]

Yeah, I agree with that. It sucks when kids live in an abusive home and they take after either one of their parents. Even if they swore that they'd never repeat the cycle... just low and behold... they unknowingly repeat the same mistakes as their mother or father. Course, there are exceptions, some individuals do break the cycle of abuse passed down from parent to child. It really does depend on their personality and any other significant factors contributed to their learning environment as children. (I.E. good relatives, grandparents, mentors, education.)

 

[EveWasFramed]

Girls are attracted to the bad guys because it's a nurturing feeling they have. Women have this need to take care of someone...to help them. They feel that if they show love and caring to a guy who just does so much awful that he will change. It's just the way women are. They need to be needed by someone with problems and they feel they can make everything better for a guy. That's why if a guy is too perfect we're not attracted because what can we possibly offer this guy??

A guy just wants to have sex whether it's a good girl or not. The easier the better. They pay a little more attention when choosing a wife but afterwards they think the wife should just give him what he wants and when she doesn't ... he looks elsewhere. Women can't just have sex...they need to belong and to be wanted. It's like this feeling where the guy needs to show you that you are needed and that you mean the world to him. A woman like that will give anything to a guy like that (I'm not saying a guy who acts like a 15 year old kid who needs a mommy though, he still needs to be a man). But to many man once they conquer the woman once...they don't feel the need to do it all the time so they just find an easy fix.

That's how I explain it. Correct me if I'm wrong anyone!

I would say the first paragraph of this is semi-right. I would also say that women are so cliq-esque that they are attracted to the "bad guy" because the "bad guy" is typically the popular, cool, wealthy, power-player, etc....

on the second paragraph... go **** yourself. "a guy just wants to have sex whether it's a good girl... blah blah blah blah blah." - **** off.

It's perfectly fine to disagree with someone and even be offended by their opinions. But let us all be a bit more civil, please?

 

[Zak]

A guy just wants to have sex whether it's a good girl or not. The easier the better. They pay a little more attention when choosing a wife but afterwards they think the wife should just give him what he wants and when she doesn't ... he looks elsewhere. Women can't just have sex...they need to belong and to be wanted. It's like this feeling where the guy needs to show you that you are needed and that you mean the world to him. A woman like that will give anything to a guy like that (I'm not saying a guy who acts like a 15 year old kid who needs a mommy though, he still needs to be a man). But to many man once they conquer the woman once...they don't feel the need to do it all the time so they just find an easy fix.

Well I totally agree with papabear lol wtf?

"A guy wants to have sex whether its a good girl or bad?"

You mean we just want sex?

LMAO WTF? We 'all' aren't freaking perverts and I could have had sex with trillions of girls if I wanted (yeh its against rule here but stuffs happen backdoors, you know.. or maybe you dont know but thats how it is here lol..) but I m just so freaking choosy (I go for looks and supermodel looks LOL, and most with that looks turns out to be *******, and the decent ones are the ones without these looks LOL I m not generalizing coz I said "most" from my experience) and thats my biggest problem in relationships lol Shame that you generalize it like this and talk like some extermely expereinced person. LOL I will have to disagree from my own experience.

...and yeh lets be a bit more civil lol only a bit more xD

 

[Naleena]

Girls are attracted to the bad guys because it's a nurturing feeling they have. Women have this need to take care of someone...to help them. They feel that if they show love and caring to a guy who just does so much awful that he will change. It's just the way women are. They need to be needed by someone with problems and they feel they can make everything better for a guy. That's why if a guy is too perfect we're not attracted because what can we possibly offer this guy??

A guy just wants to have sex whether it's a good girl or not. The easier the better. They pay a little more attention when choosing a wife but afterwards they think the wife should just give him what he wants and when she doesn't ... he looks elsewhere. Women can't just have sex...they need to belong and to be wanted. It's like this feeling where the guy needs to show you that you are needed and that you mean the world to him. A woman like that will give anything to a guy like that (I'm not saying a guy who acts like a 15 year old kid who needs a mommy though, he still needs to be a man). But to many man once they conquer the woman once...they don't feel the need to do it all the time so they just find an easy fix.

That's how I explain it. Correct me if I'm wrong anyone!

I would say the first paragraph of this is semi-right. I would also say that women are so cliq-esque that they are attracted to the "bad guy" because the "bad guy" is typically the popular, cool, wealthy, power-player, etc....

on the second paragraph... go **** yourself. "a guy just wants to have sex whether it's a good girl... blah blah blah blah blah." - **** off.

It's perfectly fine to disagree with someone and even be offended by their opinions. But let us all be a bit more civil, please?

I agree with being civil (though I'm not a perfect example of that...lol) and I can understand where he was angered. Not all men are geared the same way and while there are some insensitive men who fit that discription, there are a lot of decent men who do genuinely care about women. Whether or not someone is a caring person has less to do with thier gender and more to do with thier personality. This is why I think it's best to not stereotype a whole gender.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Love has nothing to do with personailty...
On a Tuesday I'll have personality for ya.... becuase once a month i get to deal with personalities.

It's all about the ****ies, man...
The bigger they are, the longer I'll stay
Real ones...silicone ones...I don't care, as long as they're big.
It's about assets and liabilites.. You have it the assets and I'm liable to grab them.
I trust in the ****ies...****ies don't lie.
I'm compassionate with the ****ies..I feel the ****ies
I understand ****ies..I'll rest my head on ****ies and listen to them.
I cherish the ****ies...For ****ies brings me happiness
I'm grateful for the ****ies..for I'll handle them and take care of them all the time.
I'll spend quality time with the ****ies.
I'll honor the ****ies..for I'll have a salute for ****ies.
I'm committed and loyal to the ****ies, I'll pray to the ****ies if that what it takes...milk from the gods.
I take responsibitlies for the ****ies...for I'll make them respond.
I'll keep my vows to the ****ies..for I'll hold them close to my heart.

See....it's not about the money. Lets keep it real.
It's about the principles and integrity of the ****ies....man

 

[Caesium]

Wow, Lonesome Crow, wow.

 

[jasmin]

Love has nothing to do with personailty...
On a Tuesday I'll have personality for ya.... becuase once a month i get to deal with personalities.

It's all about the ****ies, man...
The bigger they are, the longer I'll stay
Real ones...silicone ones...I don't care, as long as they're big.
It's about assets and liabilites.. You have it the assets and I'm liable to grab them.
I trust in the ****ies...****ies don't lie.
I'm compassionate with the ****ies..I feel the ****ies
I understand ****ies..I'll rest my head on ****ies and listen to them.
I cherish the ****ies...For ****ies brings me happiness
I'm grateful for the ****ies..for I'll handle them and take care of them all the time.
I'll spend quality time with the ****ies.
I'll honor the ****ies..for I'll have a salute for ****ies.
I'm committed and loyal to the ****ies, I'll pray to the ****ies if that what it takes...milk from the gods.
I take responsibitlies for the ****ies...for I'll make them respond.
I'll keep my vows to the ****ies..for I'll hold them close to my heart.

See....it's not about the money. Lets keep it real.
It's about the principles and integrity of the ****ies....man

hmmm...I think you're trying to tell us something...
I don't understand why men think ****s are so great.