Anybody else bad at making friends?

[leviathan]

I've never really had trouble making friends. It's keeping them that's the hard part.

Most of it is my own fault. I have a tendency to question everything, and can come across as very abrasive. Its only recently that I've stopped doing that and have thus made what I think is the first genuine friendship in a long time. But, knowing my history, I'm completely ready for it to end at any time, which I think puts a pall over everything.

I think the best thing to do is just accept that there's nothing wrong with 'acquaintances'. Not everyone is meant to have loads of friends...some of us are just born deficient I guess.

 

[Van Hooligan X]

i struggle to make a few

i seem to get a ratio of 1 good friend to every 5 failure to make friends :S

 

[nightscribe]

After several bad experiences in college, I just gave up. The last 10 years I've basically kept to myself. If it wasn't for family, I don't think I'd speak at all. And it's not as pitiful as it sounds , I'm pretty content being alone most of the time, but sometimes, it's just a little too quiet. Sometimes it can be a little painful. I've spent quite a few days/weeks pretending it doesn't bother me.

 

[Terminus]

I have been able to connect pretty well with alot of people, but after a while they tend to get bored and either they completely disappear or they start growing away from me. It sucks. Especially if you invest alot in the friendship, and do your best to try to salvage it once it starts to crumble, but the other person just doesn't care anymore. Oh well, what can you do except trying your best?

 

[Solace]

yeah... i'm bad at making friends. I used to have plenty when i was younger but we grew up or grew apart, moved away or got married.

And here I am. It's like my life has emptied out. Just me and my one friend, who has plenty of other friends. But i'm lonley. I can't seem to connect with anyone. People are friendly but not friends. And through it all I feel like i'm missing someone specific. like i'm waiting for them...

And I totally feel lke I was born in the wrong time period or age or something. I just. I feel for this world, for this society. I ache for it's misgivings, but it's not like i'm apart of it.

It's like the poem from ww2.
"I have loved England, and still as a stranger,
Here is my home, and still I am alone.
Now in her hour of trial and danger,
only the English are really her own"

I'm most homesick when I am at home. I live here but I do not belong here.

 

[prd]

I'm unable to make friends. I've always been this way as long as I remember. I am closed, I often feel lonely but I just don't care, too lazy to do anything. Human relations are too painful to me, most of the time. I would like to always have people around, just for the feeling of belonging, but not be hurt by them.

 

[toba122]

I've got friends ,but none of them seem like "real" friends. Like they aren't close and we never do anything outside of school...

 

[ledchick]

Well, all during school I had friends in all different cliques. I made friends easily and kept them. About the age of 18-20, I still knew all of these people and the fun memories and sometimes fun times etc were still there but they were fewer and far between.
As we get older we find that we dont have the time to devote to nuturing that relationship, especially if you already have per say a marriage, a b/f or g/f, child, etc, or sometimes even just a job.
So, I have one good friend and she understands that I am weird about leaving my house sometimes, that I get depressed and that I dont always nurture our friendship and you know what she is alright with that. She loves me anyway.

 

[TheLonelySkeptic]

People suck.

 

[Spare]

People suck.

Yep.

 

[MiKeY]

I'm horrible at making friends. It's weird, because I'm outgoing and all, but I just wind up with acquaintances. I have one r.l. friend, and the rest are internet friends. Thank God for the forum.

 

[ledchick]

It appears I piss people off even on the internet. I should have taken advice and just kept to myself.
It is not good to share too much of yourself it can and will be used against you.

 

[james55555]

I'm fortunate enough to not have moved away from the one real friend I made in middle school otherwise I'd be in the exact same boat. It's like, you grow up and other folks you meet talk about the stupidest honeysuckle sometimes to the point where you want to smash them with a brick or otherwise cannot relate in the slightest to what they are talking about. People your own age are living in a different reality and you feel as if you've been born in the wrong society or time period or something.

It's like, you grow up and other folks you meet talk about the stupidest honeysuckle sometimes to the point where you want to smash them with a brick or otherwise cannot relate in the slightest to what they are talking about. People your own age are living in a different reality and you feel as if you've been born in the wrong society or time period or something.


feel exactly the same way 90% of the time.It like what society wants is mediocrity,anything less is a disability that results in only pity it seems,and and anything more is like a responsibility that people think is odd or bizarre or something.Like you have no need of friends since your not a "normal"human.

 

[Flood]

I'm good at joking around and making people feel comfortable in certain settings like when I was back in school or at work. Also since I try to be polite, I'm a good at listening to other people talk about themselves (also because I will avoid talking about myself). And before I know it I'm being invited to this or that and I'm struggling to come up with excuses not to go out and feeling bad about it. It's hard and makes me want to isolate myself even further.

For the ppl trying hard to make friends, just let these things happen organically. Maybe join a club for your hobby or passion and then enjoy spending time with ppl with similar interests. You might find yourself grabbing a bite to eat or hanging out, outside of the meeting. Whether they are "officially" your friend or not really doesn't matter because keeping company is pretty much what friends do anyways.

 

[nexaddo]

im outgoing and all, but when someone makes an offer like 'come to the bar with us'..i choke and say no

 

[Melanie]

My thought pattern = Oh yeah, here's a new friend, we can go to the mall together, chat, or maybe even catch a sub-par chick flick.
OH JOY! -_-
The "friends" that I have, were from middle school, when I wasn't a miserable loner, and most of them are gone anyways.

I have one person in my life though, who I will always consider to be close with. Only person I've ever felt connected with. Only person I've ever really had the desire to have a relationship with.

 

[frey12]

I have made one friend that I could keep recently. But making friends is hard. I take the term extremely serious. And if I do not respect someone they cannot be my friend. Considering i do not respect most people most people cannot be my friend. My dislike of people is intense and my standards are high. Surrounding myself with people I hate will only enrage me. So no point rather to be miserable then angry. Happy then miserable. Finding a good friend is hard but it is worth it.

 

[wolfshadow]

Making friends can be tough but keeping them is the real trick.

Because I'm not a natural socialite, I find that most of the time, people tend to be friends with me on their terms.

 

[Oceanmist23]

I used to have 3 close/kinda close friends up until we all moved away to go to college.
Then we just drifted apart. I tried to stay in touch with them but I didn't get much response, so I guess I gave up.
Now I don't have any close friends apart from BF. I have my friend Rob in London,
but I don't speak much to him any more either. I try and get no response.. meh.
To be honest I'm pretty sick of having male friends (BF not included lol).
I seriously miss having girl friends to talk to and hang out with. It's what I asked for even when I joined this forum.
It just seems so hard to find any girls to really connect with though. I've never been great at making girl friends.
Guy friends yes, cos it's usually a hell of a lot easier to connect with guys, especially through humour.
But with girls.. meh. There are too many girls around here who are only thinking about kids.
Having kids, babysitting kids, dreaming of having kids.
I just wanna get to know a couple of girls who are not interested in kids in any way,
someone I can talk to about anything BUT kids. Would be nice... *Dreams*

 

[Van Hooligan X]

only1vanh (H)


so hell yeah i struggle