Anyone else tired of others downplaying their lack of a loving relationship?

[ardour]

What I hate the most is those who say I'm unworthy of romantic affections because I have not "earned" one (implying they have).

And by who's standards do you reach that point?

Society's full of people with degrees, good careers, continued learning, never having experienced one bit of affection. Not to say that self-improvement isn't worthwhile, but it's best done for the sense of personal achievement, not with an eye to finding a partner.

 

[Hold_Fast_Hope]

I can definitely relate. I'm turning 28 in a week, and until 2 months ago, I had never been in an intimate relationship or had a significant other my whole entire life. Now I'm in much requited love with a special, awesome girl, and it's a crazy, amazing turn of fortune that is still boggling my mind.

So don't dwell on despair, and don't lose hope! If it can happen to me, then by jove, it can happen to you too. Just stay open to the possible and when the opportunity for love arises, go for it with gusto! You never know where that first step will lead .

 

[Code S.O.L]

For the sake of keeping the friendships I have, I try and hold it all in as best as I can. I can't vent the same way I used to, as my Dad has my facebook under constant surveillance, and won't hesitate to ring me personally to tell me to 'shut up and pull my ******* head in.'

Ultimately, he's right. Anything that could possibly be said to me has already been said. And each time I mope, it's said with alittle less empathy. So I say nothing whenever I'm out with friends. I pretend like everything's OK, and if we're ever all out clubbing or whatever, I leave silently once I see one to many hookups.

Being autistic, I've more or less resigned myself to my fate now. Being unable to express what little empathy means it's next to impossible for me to engage in an intimate relationship. Not only that, but when you consider that empathy is absolutely paramount in a healthy relationship, it also means that I really shouldn't in the first place.

 

[Boring-Weirdo]

Whenever I go out clubbing I say, "Helloooooo Baby!" This is always sure to work on any attractive men, but since I am not gay it's of no use to me. To get womens' attention I'll scream at them that the music is too loud to talk. After that opening I put my lips to their ears and try to have a conversation about whatever pops into my head (anything from theoretical physics to coprophilia). And I dunno, for some reason it's never worked. Sure I've gotten many knees to the hacky-sack, but I only count that as making it to 2nd base; and I want a full home-run.

My advice to myself is to quit being a baby and just go grabby grab for the fun parts. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe as long as I go to church the next morning.

 

[rosa_desértica]

Could you imagine that because social phobia I had my first boyfriend in my early thirties? I lived in despair for so many years and longing for having a relationship since very young age and even I had a few admirers that I was kind of interested in, I just avoided them all. It was crazy and sometimes I regret....

Anyway, in my experience, I would say the key is to make changes in your life. They can be very subtle. I enrolled in a one month computer programming course that changed my life as I had no idea when I met this wonderful man. It is about taking action. I'm pretty convinced that we can make things to happen

 

[EveWasFramed]

Anyone else tired of others downplaying their lack of a loving relationship?

I don't think I care anymore.

 

[Marios]

I don't think I care anymore.

Indifference is a valuable tool for us.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I don't think I care anymore.

Indifference is a valuable tool for us.

In some cases, I totally agree - this particular issue being one of those cases.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Anybody can have a relationship. It doesn't make you better than anybody else.

What makes you a better person is how you treat others, the skills you have, and what you do with your life. Plenty of scientists and artistic people never had a girlfriend and died a virgin, but they managed to bring light into the world, and for that reason I believe they are better than Joe Blow and Sally who has a dozen baby daddies.