Apathy being a problem

[Wayfarer]

The issue is simple, the solution probably a bit less.
I've got no drive, no desire, no goals. Or at the very least nothing definite. I mean, anyone would want their life to be good/better.

Most probably I'll just choose some goal at random just to try and work towards something. I have some random hobbies, but well, I don't care specifically about them either... They are just a way to kill time somewhat constructively and hopefully feel good about observed improvement if present.

But yeah... Any advice? Introspection really doesn't help at all.

I'd really like to have goals, or dreams or any strong feeling towards anything. I guess I can settle with less.

I'll add, just to make the post complete, that I have gone to a couple psychologists before, although this wasn't the central issue that was discussed. So yes, maybe trying again could work I guess. I just wondered if any of you had other advice... And hopefully some advice I can implement on my own.

 

[Finished]

I'd like to give you some advice. But, honestly it really depends what started your apathy or if it has always been with you. There really is no magic. You have to find out / figure out what started it all and deal with that otherwise you are just going to keep temporarily covering it up in order to feel better sometimes. My advice, which will sound typical and meaningless, is to go to a psychologist. HOWEVER, tell them this is my goal XXXXXXXX. This is what I want to work on. I want to find out what started this feeling. Lots of people go to professionals without any specific goals so they bounce around from one area to another never really accomplishing anything.

 

[4No1]

It soynds like a kind of depression. But I'm not a professional.

A daily routine helps me a little bit.
Wake up not late, go to bed early, do some exercises and walk - smth like this.
It's not a good advice and I don't know if it can help you, just a thing I've noticed is working for me.
I think it increases a level of serotonin(or whatever) or decreases a stess level.

However the problem can also be a chemical. So if you can go to a good psychologist, I think I'd try.

 

[Sarah G]

A daily routine helps me a little bit.
Wake up not late, go to bed early, do some exercises and walk - smth like this.

Very good advice

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Perhaps you need a muse, or a raison d'etre.

As for me, lately I just try to force myself. It's no fun when you have to force yourself to do something you once loved to do though, and were easily compelled to just do, with not only no effort, but great interest...

To my disdain, perhaps when you lose the ability to walk, it's just a matter of re-learning...

...grab the rails and get those legs back in order, hopefully with a little of the right help along the way, if needed and/or available...

I don't think you can purchase a muse or a reason to be; and if you could, I couldn't afford, and if I could afford it, it'd probably be a scam. I can't afford to be bilked out of my money!

Your film recommendation: The Dark Knight Rises
Your TV series recommendation: Lodge 49

gl..

 

[ewomack]

Keep exploring for things that excite you, something probably does and maybe you haven't found it yet? You can do this by trying things that you wouldn't normally consider doing. I keep apathy at bay by reading and trying to figure out what it's all about. I never will, so it keeps me thinking and moving. You didn't mention diet, but sometimes dietary changes can help with energy. This will sound strange, but I felt better and "more alive" after cutting bread out of my diet. I'm not saying that will work for you, but eating habits can have a huge effect on your energy levels as well. It might be worth experimenting with?

 

[sniffles]

I am going through something similar, which I have found to be called existential angst. You may not be at the anxiety stage yet, questioning your purpose in life may eventually lead you here.

As you have already mentioned, distractions such as hobbies will help put your mind off wondering what your purpose is.

You may find this page useful, which towards the bottom lists tools to help fight this. https://www.supportiv.com/tools/inner-tools-existential-crisis

 

[Wayfarer]

It soynds like a kind of depression. But I'm not a professional.

A daily routine helps me a little bit.
Wake up not late, go to bed early, do some exercises and walk - smth like this.
It's not a good advice and I don't know if it can help you, just a thing I've noticed is working for me.
I think it increases a level of serotonin(or whatever) or decreases a stess level.

However the problem can also be a chemical. So if you can go to a good psychologist, I think I'd try.

I have been depressed in the past. Undiagnosed. My last psychologist doesn't think I am, and I probably wasn't and am not now.
This thing has been going on more or less for most of my life. I can't even remember when it started. Maybe in middle school? Last year of elementary school? No idea.
However it used to be real depression starting when I was in high school, getting much worse when I was in uni. Now I'm mostly ok, or at least I can function in everyday life.

Perhaps you need a muse, or a raison d'etre.

As for me, lately I just try to force myself. It's no fun when you have to force yourself to do something you once loved to do though, and were easily compelled to just do, with not only no effort, but great interest...

To my disdain, perhaps when you lose the ability to walk, it's just a matter of re-learning...

...grab the rails and get those legs back in order, hopefully with a little of the right help along the way, if needed and/or available...

I don't think you can purchase a muse or a reason to be; and if you could, I couldn't afford, and if I could afford it, it'd probably be a scam. I can't afford to be bilked out of my money!

Your film recommendation: The Dark Knight Rises
Your TV series recommendation: Lodge 49

gl..

Well yes, a raison d'etre is literally "meaning". I do force myself to work and try to do stuff like other people. What makes me feel worse is that I get absolutely nothing out of many experiences, so it all feels like a waste. So I may go out of my way and go to a museum, or to a restaurant, a walk, whatever. But rarely do I feel like I wouldn't have felt better home alone.

Keep exploring for things that excite you, something probably does and maybe you haven't found it yet? You can do this by trying things that you wouldn't normally consider doing. I keep apathy at bay by reading and trying to figure out what it's all about. I never will, so it keeps me thinking and moving. You didn't mention diet, but sometimes dietary changes can help with energy. This will sound strange, but I felt better and "more alive" after cutting bread out of my diet. I'm not saying that will work for you, but eating habits can have a huge effect on your energy levels as well. It might be worth experimenting with?

Conveniently, I've visited parents for christmas holidays. I'm leaving today. Yesterday I was sick all day. Food related. So yeah, I do try and eat differently, but at this point I think my way of cooking is the best for me. Simple, few ingredients. My stomach is really picky.

I am going through something similar, which I have found to be called existential angst. You may not be at the anxiety stage yet, questioning your purpose in life may eventually lead you here.

As you have already mentioned, distractions such as hobbies will help put your mind off wondering what your purpose is.

You may find this page useful, which towards the bottom lists tools to help fight this. https://www.supportiv.com/tools/inner-tools-existential-crisis

Anchoring: I guess it's what I do when I think logically about how to live in a decent way.
Isolation: I do am on my own most of the time.
Distraction: basically gaming and hobbies.
Sublimation: Yeah I fail hard at this. Unless writing stuff counts.

Reflecting: done that for years, no luck.
Setting goals: well, I have none. Should I just choose some at random? I've never had any of my own. I don't think I've ever chosen something for myself that I really wanted. I just let either others choose for me, or chose what reason hints being a logical choice or a decent one. But _wanting_ something? Food at best.
Finding hobbies: I have tried a lot. Atm I have about 5 of them I do every day.
Talking to someone: I do so on some discord servers, and I used to go to a therapist.

 

[M_also_lonely]

I think this is how life is supposed to be lived.

 

[Wayfarer]

I think this is how life is supposed to be lived.

What do you mean? Also not sure if related but your comment here https://www.alonelylife.com/threads/7-years-of-depression-i-want-change.42011/ I agree more. It could be maybe I'm unconsciously doing this to myself in order to not have to do things. Although it doesn't change that whatever the case, I still have no idea what I want. Not even for the smallest thing.

Been reading, yesterday, and it seems I have anhedonia too. I guess it comes under apathy though? Because, can one be apathetic without feeling anhedonia?

 

[U-122]

It soynds like a kind of depression. But I'm not a professional.

A daily routine helps me a little bit.
Wake up not late, go to bed early, do some exercises and walk - smth like this.
It's not a good advice and I don't know if it can help you, just a thing I've noticed is working for me.
I think it increases a level of serotonin(or whatever) or decreases a stess level.

However the problem can also be a chemical. So if you can go to a good psychologist, I think I'd try.

I'm in the same situation. it's a very good advice. I do exactly that. Except no psychologists. They themselves need therapy. I can't always get enough sleep because of my "wonderful caring loving friendly empathetic" asswipe neighbor who makes my existence even worse, but i do my best.

 

[Melli12]

What do you mean? Also not sure if related but your comment here https://www.alonelylife.com/threads/7-years-of-depression-i-want-change.42011/ I agree more. It could be maybe I'm unconsciously doing this to myself in order to not have to do things. Although it doesn't change that whatever the case, I still have no idea what I want. Not even for the smallest thing.

Been reading, yesterday, and it seems I have anhedonia too. I guess it comes under apathy though? Because, can one be apathetic without feeling anhedonia?

You don't feel any desires or wishes or something like a curiosity at all? Do you have problems to feel something?
What about that hobbies you have, do you enjoy them in a way?

 

[Wayfarer]

You don't feel any desires or wishes or something like a curiosity at all? Do you have problems to feel something?
What about that hobbies you have, do you enjoy them in a way?

I mean, everything feels the same sort of flat-ish. I do have hobbies and I do sometimes try new things. It's just there's nothing that stands out in any way and yeah... it all feels boring or pointless.

Of course I can say I want generic "undefined" things... like everyone. Like, who doesn't want to feel happy, loved, etc. But if I try and see what would make me get those things, then idk. I mean, for example, I don't like my job, but I have no idea about any job I'd like better. Also, idk if what I don't like is the nature of my tasks, the environment, my colleagues, something else, or the whole package. You can apply this to more or less anything else. I just don't "know".

Idk if this answers your question. I'm trying to set aside time in my days lately, and try to have motivation to at least sit down and ask the "important questions", even though I don't often arrive to an answer.